A Twin Desire Ch. 07 - Finale

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, somewhere in the middle of us making love, we both realized that ..." He stopped and looked away.

"Realized ..." I said while making that 'continue' rolling hand gesture.

He turned back and looked me in the eyes. Tears formed in his eyes. "Realized that I was in love with you."

"What?" I said in shock. When the words came out of his mouth, a thousand emotions and thoughts raced through me.

"What, what?" he said confused. "You wanted to know."

Coming back to reality, I realized I blurted. "No, wait. I blurted. I did ... I mean ... I do ... I do want to know. I just wasn't expecting THAT answer. God, I'm sorry."

"No problem. I think," he said unconvincingly.

"What happened that you realized you were in love with me?" I asked softly playing with my hair.

"Twink, I'm not going to give you a play-by-play," he said sternly.

I punched his arm. "I don't want a play-by-play. I want to know how you came to know you were in love with me as a 17-year-old. Don't be a dumbass."

He winched and rubbed his arm where I punched him. "I'm starting to re-think this whole 'love you' thing." I started to punch him again, but he knew it was coming and grabbed my arm. "Okay, okay. I'll tell you. No more punching, Mike Tyson."

"You know I'll bite your ear off, buster," I said and snapped my teeth at him. He rolled his eyes.

"Geez, sis. I don't know how to say this. I mean, this is Jill. Your best friend ... and she's ..." his sentence lingered for a moment then died.

I frowned and bowed my head. "I know. She's gone." I sat for a few minutes as memories flooded my mind. When we met. Her kicking my ass. Becoming friends. The sleepovers. The boys. The jokes. The pranks. The laughs. The heartaches. The love.

I felt empty and yet, I felt full. We had a friendship that most people will probably never know in their lifetimes. I was grateful. But the loss I felt was severe.

I looked into Brian's eyes again. "I know I'm asking a lot. Do me a favor. Stop beating around the bush and tell me what happened that you knew you loved me. Please."

He bowed and nodded his head. "Okay. In the middle of fu... um ... making love to her, I had a moment that hit me really hard. I wasn't making love to Jill. I was making love to you."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"How do I explain this? Um, you and Jill had been friends for so long, you were finishing each other's thoughts. You two became the same person. When we were ... um ..." I rolled my eyes and gave a knowing nod. "um ... yeah, that. When we were ... that ... I realized I was thinking about you from the moment I decided to ... um ... yeah ... um ... that."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," he said. "Does that make you feel bad?" he wondered.

"No, baby," I said and put my arms around his neck, "it makes me love you more than ever." Tears welled in my eyes as I tried to put into words the depth of my emotions. "Damn, brother, you have no idea how that makes me love you so much more than ten seconds ago." I kissed him. Passionately.

**** BRIAN ****

I was nervous as hell. I just told my sister, my wife, my lover a truth that I thought I'd take to my grave. I thought she would be devastated. Instead, she's devouring me with a kiss that was making every part of my body tingle. When she broke the kiss, I looked at her completely dumbfounded.

She pulled back. Her eyes were down. When she looked up at me, she burst out laughing again. Not hysterically like before. Just a normal laugh. I was now more confused.

"Oh, my dear, sweet man. You thought I'd be mad at you," she said with a laugh.

"Well, yeah." Her laugh turned into a smile as she shook her head at me. She reached down and grabbed at the bottom of my shirt and started pulling it up. "Barb, what? What're you doing?"

"Baby," she said as my shirt came over my head, "I want you inside me, on top of me, holding me, comforting me, loving me. I need you to make love to me."

"Are ... are you sure," I asked. Her best friend just died. Is this normal behavior?

"I've never been more sure of anything. I need your touch. I need your closeness. I need you spiritually, mentally, and physically."

My shorts hit the floor as she finished. She stood and was out of her clothes in a half-second. She crawled onto the bed, laid down on her back, and nodded at me.

"Brian, honey, make love to me, sweetie. Dive down into the depths of your soul, find every drop of love you have for me and put it inside me. I need to feel every part of your love. Please."

I needed a bit of time to reach the 'depth of my soul'. I snuggled in close to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and threw a leg over her hips. My mostly erect cock pressed against her thigh. I kissed her cheek, turned her head and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Do you know how much I love you, Twinkie?" I whispered.

She nodded. "Yes, but I need to feel it, babe. Please don't wait. I know you're thinking that I'm outta my mind and that I may be expecting a lusty roll in the hay. No, honey. I want to feel you love me. I trust you to give me exactly what I need right now."

I nodded and rolled over on top of her. She spread her legs, reached between us, and guided my cock inside. I pushed in slowly.

"Oh, my God, yes," she moaned as I pushed into her. She closed her eyes as tears rolled down the sides of her face.

I was hovering over her with my hands holding me up. When I was fully inside her, she reached up and put her hands around the back of my neck. She softly but firmly pulled me down onto her. She closed her legs and shifted my legs over hers. I spread my legs wider, but she put her hands on my thighs and stopped me.

"No, babe, I want your entire body on me," she whispered as she pushed my legs on top of hers. She reached up, took my hands, and guided my arms up and to the side of her head as if I was pinning her arms down. My body was fully on top of hers.

I realized what she wanted and needed. It was my turn to take over and give it to her. With very little movement from me, I started sliding in and out of her by mere centimeters. I then began whispering to her.

"I want you to focus on every part of your body as I move. Can you do that?" Her eyes were closed, and she nodded nearly undetectable.

I wiggled my toes on top of her toes. "Focus on my toes. Can you feel them?" She nodded. "Can you feel them tickle your toes?" She smiled weakly and nodded.

Without moving any other part of my body, I softly caressed her toes with my toes for several minutes. I watched her face. She looked peaceful.

I stopped moving my toes and started lightly rubbing her fingers. "Can you feel my fingers?" It took a moment, but she nodded lightly. "Focus on your fingers."

After a few minutes of rubbing her fingers, she broke out in a little smile. She opened her eyes and looked at me. "My God, you're beautiful," I whispered.

She smiled as she stared into my eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something.

"What?" I whispered.

In a sultry whisper, she said, "I can feel your cock throbbing inside me." She giggled.

I had been so laser-focused on what I was doing to her that I didn't realize my cock was harder than I could remember it ever being. I was, indeed, throbbing inside her. I smiled back at her.

"Did I say to focus on my cock?"

"You didn't have to," she purred.

I realized this was what she needed. Nothing more. Nothing less. She needed me. I needed her. We lie in the dark, in the quiet, in the still of the night. We fell asleep, connected physically, mentally, spiritually, lovingly.

**** BARBARA ****

The next several days were a blur. I don't remember much as I was in a fog of disbelief and shock. Brian was my rock. Without him, I'm not sure I would have made it through it all.

When we woke up the next day, he was still holding me. I felt safety and comfort in his arms. For a few minutes, I forgot about Jill and simply reveled in my love for Brian. When reality hit me, I started crying again. Brian wiped my tears and did his best to be strong. I knew he was hurting too but I didn't have much in my tank for him.

After what felt like an eternity lying in his arms, he pulled the blankets down, rolled over and off the bed, went to the bathroom, walked around to my side, and held out his hand.

"Come with me," he said, his naked body calling to me. I took his hand not knowing where he was taking me.

He helped me out of bed and walked me into the bathroom. He sat me down to pee, reached into the shower, and turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. When it was right, and I was finished, he helped me in and followed.

Brian has always loved fucking me in the shower. Quite frankly, I wasn't in the mood.

"Brian, honey, I'm not in the mood for this today," I said hoping I wasn't being rude.

"Shhhhh, baby. I've got this," he said.

"Seriously, Brian," I said more sternly.

He didn't respond verbally. He put a finger over my lips. I decided to trust him and nodded.

What happened next was magical. When he followed me into the shower, he positioned himself with his back to the stream. After I nodded my approval, he turned us, so the stream was flowing on my back. He placed his hands on my face and lightly kissed me.

"I'm going to take care of you today, Twinkie," he whispered in my ear. "I'm gonna wash your sorrows away."

He lightly pushed me further into the stream until the water was cascading down my shoulders. With his hands, he began lightly following the path of the water down my back. He bent down to trace to path all the way to my feet. He stood up straight and tilted my head back. The water flow permeated my hair and tickled my scalp. He ran his fingers through my wet hair as he kissed me.

He pulled me forward while reaching for the shampoo. I closed my eyes as I anticipated his loving touch. I heard him rub his hands together, then felt him lightly rub the shampoo into my hair. I put my arms around his shoulders to keep from falling as I suddenly felt faint.

He slowly massaged my scalp, shoulders, neck, and cheeks with his soapy hands. He avoided my eyes, nose, and mouth as he massaged my entire head with his talented fingertips. He kissed me as he caressed my head, then moved his soapy hands all over my body. His touch was light and sensitive. My body tingled everywhere his hands touched me.

He paused for a moment as he squirted some body wash into a loofah then continued to clean my entire body. He didn't miss a square inch of me, inside or out. When I was completely covered in suds, he finally spoke.

"These suds are your sorrows, sweetie. When I rinse you, I want you to watch your sorrows go down the drain. When the last of your sorrows are gone, you're going to feel much better for the rest of the day."

I felt his words in my soul. I felt the suds of sorrow covering my body. I couldn't help it. I started to cry. He kissed me. I cried harder.

He unhooked the handheld showerhead from the wall, tilted my head downward, and slowly started rinsing my hair. He did his best to keep the water from rinsing my entire body all at once, but stray streams ran down my back. I felt each stream with intensity. I could feel the suds sliding slowly down my skin.

When my hair was rinsed, he started rinsing the remainder of my body starting with my shoulders, breasts, and back. He rinsed small parts of my body and did it slowly so I could feel every part of my body being cleansed. He was right. I stood with my head bowed, feeling the suds run down to my feet, and watching them form and disappear into the drain. As each part of my body was rinsed, I felt lighter as my sorrow flowed from my body.

Once finished, he turned the water off and reached for a towel. He slowly and methodically dried my body. I loved feeling his strong hands on me. He dried himself and walked me back out to our bed. He went back and found my favorite body lotion and took his time applying it. When he finished, I felt better, but I was drained of all energy.

He slipped panties over my feet, then a nightshirt over my body. He gently laid me down and snuggled up to me. He held me tight as I fell asleep.

**** BRIAN ****

Barb slept peacefully for the next three hours. During that time, I took all the noisemakers out of the room. Jill's parents called and I set up a time in the afternoon for us to meet with them at their hotel. Vanessa stopped to check in on Barb. We spent some time remembering Jill. I held her while she cried.

Vanessa had just left when Barb wandered into the front room. She said she felt better, but she didn't look it. She smiled, sat down on the sofa, and thanked me for the shower and the peaceful sleep. I fixed her some pancakes even though she said she wasn't hungry then watched as she picked at them with her fork. She ate a little and it was time to meet Jill's parents.

I did my best to support Barbara through the time leading up to the funeral and then dealing with the loss of her best friend after the funeral. It wasn't easy. Jill wasn't just her best friend. She was a teammate. Everything Barb did outside our marriage was tied up with Jill. Everything reminded her of Jill's loss.

She thought about taking a redshirt year hoping to get past her grief. As the baby grew inside her, she realized her commitment to the team and getting back in shape was coming in behind her desire to be a good mom. She gave up her scholarship and focused on becoming a mother. With her sports career in the rearview, she quickly recovered from her depression.

We both finished our education and I was drafted into the Major Leagues. We were lucky that Barb could focus on being a stay-at-home mother while I played an eight-year career. We were smart with our money, and I was able to get most of my law school out of the way as I played baseball. Two years after I retired, I passed the bar and had a successful career as a real estate attorney.

I can look back on our life together and thank God that Jill was in our lives. Our lives were a fairy tale until Jill's passing. The lessons we learned from her passing served us as we had to grow up and face hard choices. We learned that to have a successful marriage, we had to deal with the curve balls life threw at us. When our son was hit by a car and nearly killed, we were equipped to deal with the pressure. We always figured out how to come together as a family. Our tragedies always brought more love and closeness.

**** **** **** FLASH FORWARD **** **** ****

Angie, their oldest, sat by his bed, singing and speaking softly to him. Two days before, he was lying beside his beloved wife as she prepared to depart this world. Even at ninety-one years old, he was so healthy and alive. The next day, he was hit with a devastating stroke. The family likes to believe that this was God's way of letting him go without the enduring pain of living without his soulmate. They were grateful for the painless transition he would make. They also wondered how so much sorrow of losing both parents two days apart could be absorbed. But inside, they all felt peaceful.

His hand was warm to the touch as she gently squeezed. She marveled at how strong he was even now. His breathing was becoming ragged as he moved closer to the end. His grip was firm but tender as she lovingly held his hand. His eyelids covered his once glistening eyes. A tear formed in the corner then flowed idly down the side of his nose and disappeared.

Just moments before, his voice cracked, tired and low, "Twinkie, Twinkie, you're my star..." then faded away. It brought happy memories to their hearts and tears to their eyes.

Daddy was always singing his "Twinkie" song. He rarely used the same lyrics twice. Sometimes he was romantic. Angie remembered as a little girl sitting on mom's lap when daddy called from one of his road trips. She could hear him when mom answered ...

Twinkie, Twinkie, you're my star.

How I love you from afar.

She remembered giggling. She also remembered how mom smiled that smile she only saw when mom thought about him.

Sometimes he was silly ...

Twinkie, Twinkie, you're my star.

Why'd you eat my candy bar?

Sometimes he used it to break the tension of a difficult situation ...

Twinkie, Twinkie you're my star.

What's up with that big dent in the car?

"Daddy," Angie whispered as her tear fell on his cheek, "it's time. Go be with mama. She's waiting for you."

In turn, BJ, Trevor, and Jeanie leaned in, kissed him on the forehead, and whispered their tearful goodbyes. His grandkids, all 10 of them with their spouses and children, and the great-grandkids, stood in the background, either staring at the scene in front of them or chatting quietly. Each of them was called forward to say their final goodbye to their beloved grampa.

As the last of them finished, his younger brother, Chris, the last of his surviving siblings, stood slowly and made his way to the bed. The weight of the occasion fell upon him as he took a hand and whispered what would be his final words to his big brother.

"Brian, I can't begin to tell you how much you've meant to me my entire life. You've been the best big brother. Even Heidi would tell you the same thing if she were here. You are so loved by all who know you. Look at your legacy, brother. You and Barb have created something to be proud of. It's time to go now. Barb is waiting. I love you, bro. Go in peace."

Ten minutes later, he was gone.

**** **** **** **** **** ****

SPOILER ALERT. DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE STORY YET.

Thank you for reading. I apologize for any errors you may have found. I have stressed about this chapter for so long, I was more interested in getting it done and posted than I was with perfection. With my health issues, this chapter has simply taken too much energy. I not only needed to finish the story, but I also needed my own closure.

I wanted to go into much more depth with the emotions of facing Jill's death. I mentioned at the top that I had most of this chapter written soon after I finished chapter 6. When I added Jill's accident, I wasn't prepared to deal with my own emotions from losing a good friend, in the same way, a few years ago. I hope I reached a suitable depth of emotion.

My health issues cause a lot of fatigue. Dealing with sad and negative emotions makes that fatigue much worse. I could only work on this chapter when I felt a lot of energy, which isn't often. Then I could only work on it for 15-30 minutes at a time. I hope you can forgive me for not delving deeper.

Perhaps, I will continue working on the chapter and submit an edited version sometime in the future. For now, this version will have to suffice.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR FEEDBACK.