All Comments on 'A Warrior's Right Ch. 03'

I would appreciate any and all feedback on this chapter.

Hot, all that lead up and you wrote their first time together so well. added to favorites love it!

Hot. Loved it. Would keep reading

Love this story. Alren is rough and demanding but not cruel or shaming. There's a believability that many similar "historical" characters lose when authors try to make them conform to our modern-day expectations. His more brutal ways aren't neutered yet he's not a monster to her (or Dallion, who is a brilliant addition, btw).

I love that we don't have the stereotypical jealousy and cattiness or either one trying to undermine the other's relationship with Alren. Dallion isn't insecure or petty. It reminds me a little of Briseis (the erotic fanfic take on Song of Achilles) that's on this site.

The sex (and non-sex) is scorching. Again, his caring and honor is conveyed through these scenes while not losing any of his ruthlessness and gives us an idea of what their relationship will be like.

I do think he could have been rougher and have his restraint slip more. I would have liked to have seen more of the violence and menace that you know is there. Get aggro with that guy who cornered Marcyn and Dallion and show us what his enemies see. Definitely want to see all three together in various and creative ways ;-)

If it ends here, which I really hope it doesn't, at least I feel satisfied with where they are headed, especially those last two paragraphs. We're not left hanging.

I hope this feedback helps. I enjoyed the story - and not just for the wank bank. Hope there's more coming. This could easily be published as it is. Maybe add a brief epilogue. That's all it'd need for a dark romance anthology or novella.

Just found this story. It's great. Hope to read more.