A Wilde Christmas Ch. 09

On Wednesday, Wynter decided to visit Janet's tearoom. She wanted to talk more about her mom and see the mural she painted. Her mom was a taboo subject within her family. Her dad never talked about her and when her maternal grandmother was still alive, sometimes Wynter's presence would make her dissolve into tears. Even after her grandmother died, no one talked about her mom. Her mom died at 37 only 4 months after her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. Wynter was 12 when her mom passed away and understood it was hard for the family. While she had vivid memories of her mom when she was younger, she didn't remember the time before or immediately after her mom's death. A family therapist explained to her that a combination of grief and everything happening so fast was the reason she had gaps in her memory, but she didn't even remember her mom being sick. One day everything was fine, and the next she was just gone. She was hoping maybe Janet could fill in the gaps for her. Janet was the only person who spoke to her about her mom freely, and Wynter didn't want to burden her family anymore by bringing it up. When she called the nursery, Janet answered and Wynter asked if she could come by the tearoom to talk. Janet enthusiastically agreed.

Wynter drove to the nursery on the outskirts of town and made her way inside, lost. The outside signage said nothing about a tearoom, and she didn't see it right away when she walked in. She wandered around the front for a moment before an older male greeted her. When she asked for Janet, he pointed outside and told her behind the Christmas tree tent. She thanked him and made her way through the trees. She saw what resembled a shed at the end of a graveled trail. She opened the door to the tearoom and was immediately taken aback. The tearoom had greenery everywhere- potted trees, vines, and hanging plants that contrasted strikingly with the hardwood floors. 4-5 round tables with vintage Victorian chairs were set with lace linens and fine china. The light pink shelving around the room was filled with whimsical teapots, mugs, and saucers. Natural light beamed through a double glass door leading to a charming patio and garden. It was all stunning, but nothing could compare to the mural on the ceiling. It was as if Wynter was looking up while surrounded by cherry blossom trees. She took in the intricate details of the mural in awe: the delicate branches that stretched across the entire ceiling, the dainty petals in shades of pink and white, the tiny yellow stamen, and wispy white clouds floating in the clear blue sky. It was truly mesmerizing- she couldn't stop staring at it.

"Sorry about the wait-" A voice called to her, but it took Wynter a moment to pull herself out of the trance. She looked over to see Janet waiting for her to respond, patiently.

"I'm sorry. I promise you, I'm not always this-"

"Sentimental?" Janet guessed.

"Not the word I was going to use, but it works," Wynter replied.

"Go ahead and explore while I make some tea." Janet offered.

Wynter nodded and took a ton of pictures of the tearoom. She asked Janet if she had a website and was surprised to find Janet used the tearoom to entertain, not as a business. When Wynter asked why, Janet stated she enjoyed making her tea blends but wasn't a skilled enough baker or businesswoman to run a cafe. Wynter explained her Aunt Sophia, Valentina's mom, baked for the lodge resort and would enjoy baking for the tearoom. She also explained how her cousin Liberty was always looking for cute meeting spaces for the various clubs and meetings for town events, and if hosting was something Janet enjoyed, she could pass her name along.

"Nowadays, my husband hardly lets me answer the phone for the nursery. One minor fall and a little brain bleed and I'm an invalid." Janet joked, dryly.

Wynter smiled. "If you had your own business, your husband couldn't tell you when and how to work."

"My husband will come around, but I gotta figure out how to get my children off my back. My daughter Elizabeth goes back to school soon, and Elijah has his mechanic shop and family to keep him busy, but Jackson has nothing but time to bug me." Janet sighed, dramatically. Too dramatically. Wynter knew a setup when she heard it, but she entertained it.

"Well, Jackson doesn't stay in one place too long, does he?" Wynter mused.

"That's true, but I may not make it through the holidays if he doesn't get some business of his own. This tearoom is my only sanctuary." Janet replied as she pushed over a cart with a full-service tea set. "I'm so glad you called me. I envisioned this moment so many times."

"Really?" Wynter asked, baffled. "You thought about talking to me?"

"Yes. Your mom said your family would make her a saint after she died, but she made me promise to always give you the truth if you came to me." Janet fixed them both a cup of tea before sitting beside her.

"What did mama mean about the truth?" Wynter began.

"Oh, nothing tawdry. She wanted me to answer any questions you had to the best of my ability. She didn't want me to sugarcoat or shy away from anything." Janet elaborated.

"Ok, I don't even know where to begin." Wynter exhaled. "I guess, how did you meet her?"

Janet explained they met through her desire to turn the shed into her private tearoom. When Janet saw the interior design Wynter's mom did for the resort remodel, she enlisted her help. Her mom threw herself into the project and conceptualized the entire thing. Her mom was 23 at the time and was trying to keep herself busy while she waited for Wynter's dad to finish law school and move back to Lucky.

"Did you know my dad? Like, him and mama as a couple?" Wynter asked.

Janet hesitated. "Yes and no. I knew of him, but I never spent a significant amount of time with him. I only know what she told me."

"Was she in love with him?" Wynter asked, her curiosity taking over. On paper, her mom and dad made no sense. He was studious, grim, and firm while her mom was fun-loving and laidback. Wynter knew opposites attract, but she couldn't understand how her mom fell in love with a man like her dad, and vice-versa.

"In the beginning, yes. They had been together since middle school. She didn't know anyone else. He promised to love and take care of her and the grade school sweethearts thing was very romantic. They were both happy when they were blessed with you. I know it was hard- he was finishing law school, but he doted on her and he could do no wrong in her eyes." Janet shared.

"So from mama's point of view, what happened? I always heard they broke up because she didn't like living in the city." Wynter inquired.

"She didn't love Houston, but I believe she would have made it work if she was still in love with your father. She said she didn't like who the city turned him in to. Your father prioritized his job and career goals over everything. It got to a point where she felt like their values no longer aligned, so she left him. Came back to Lucky with you and moved on with her life." Wynter knew that to be true about her dad. His position as partner at his law firm and his image were the most important things to him. They spent more time portraying the perfect family than him actually being a father to her.

"Did she date or fall in love again?" Wynter asked.

"She dated a little; no one worth mentioning. You were the love of her life. You made her so happy, there wasn't room for anyone else. You two were inseparable. I would try to get her out for girls' nights, and she would bring you along." Janet smiled.

Wynter nodded, building up the courage to ask the question that always plagued her. "Did she hide being sick from everyone?"

Janet looked down, shaking her head sadly. "No, just from you. She made the family promise not to say anything to you. She didn't want to scare you or for you to see her like that. She wanted you to have nothing but happy memories of her. I couldn't, I didn't contradict her. Maybe I should have, but she was dying. I couldn't tell her she was wrong not to tell you."

"So she knew she was dying?" Wynter verified in a small voice.

"Yes, by the time they caught the cancer, there was little they could do." Janet cleared her throat before continuing. "The only thing she worried or thought about was you. She wrote letters; she sketched clothes and hair accessories for you. She knew you had no desire to learn how to sew, but she figured you could take the ones you liked to someone who did. She showed me what she designed for your wedding and let me read the speech for your wedding too. She made me promise if no one else read it, I was supposed to." Janet chuckled until she saw Wynter's confused face.

"What sketches? What letters?" Wynter probed. "My aunt held on to personal belongings for me, but no letters."

Janet looked concerned but tried to hide it. "Talk to your aunt. There are at least two notebooks and a sketchpad. I tried to talk Destiny into filming videos, but every time she tried, she would break down-" Janet's eyes filled with tears, causing Wynter's eyes to sting. "She couldn't do it and she didn't want you to see her crying. She loved you so much, Wynter. She wanted you to have the world and she hated thinking of you having a minute of pain because of her." Janet couldn't hold back the tears anymore and cried. Wynter kept it together and handed her a napkin.

Janet shook her head. "I'm ok." She sniffled. "You're the child. I should be comforting you."

Wynter didn't know what to say. She buried her feelings regarding her mom deeply a long time ago. She couldn't remember the last time she allowed herself to feel anything regarding her mom. She felt more anger than anything- and right now she was raging internally that her letters were kept from her.

"Talking about her to someone who knew and loved her is comforting. We don't talk about her much in my family." Wynter opened up.

"Those notebooks are a good place to start. She wrote in them all the time. Everything she wanted to say is in them." Janet advised her.

"I'll find them," Wynter swore. They finished their tea before Wynter said her goodbyes.

Janet gave her another long hug, and Wynter returned it this time. "Come to me for anything. Don't be a stranger, you hear me?"

"I won't," Wynter promised before leaving.

Wynter came home to Aunt Amira's house to find her getting ready to leave for the fair. Wynter decided to wait until the next day to confront her about the notebooks to not spoil the mood. The church was hosting its annual toy and food drive. The admission fee was either a toy or non-perishable food, and there were fair games, food, and Santa's Village for the kids. Liberty was volunteering with her dad, Grace was operating pony rides, and Valentina and her mother were operating a food stand, so Wynter was going to check it out alone. Liberty also told her there was a casual kid-free kickback in the woods near the lake afterward, so that was going to be her birthday week outing.

Wynter decided to take a long bath in her Aunt's jacuzzi tub to regroup after her day. A long soak, a glass of wine, and her favorite Beyonce tracks had her in better spirits and ready to take on the world. She did a full face of makeup and put loose curls in her wig. She picked a gray sparkly headband from her collection and chose a three-piece gray sweater set with matching leggings, a scoop neck tank top, and an open cardigan. Her favorite black moon boots with silver details completed the outfit. She grabbed her camera, toy, and jar of peanut butter and headed out the door.

Once she arrived at the church, she walked to the open field behind it, dropping off her donations at the front with Paula, the church receptionist. She walked around the field, impressed with the size of the fair. There were a couple of inflatables, including a gingerbread bounce house and snowman slide, multiple fair games, a cake walk, bingo, four tables forming a square serving as the food stand, and a carousel. She made her way to the food stand. She smelled turkey legs and was craving one. She waited in line on Valentina's side. When she reached the front, Valentina spoke before she could even order.

"How do you feel about tlatuda?" Val asked her.

"What is that?"

"A Mexican style pizza."

"Eww, like Taco Bell?" Wynter said, making a disgusted face.

"Fuck no. It's a crispy tortilla, refried beans, quesillo cheese, meat, avocado," Valentina listed.

"Maybe another time." Wynter cut her off, knowing Valentina could be passionately long-winded when it came to food. "I want a turkey leg."

Miguel, Val's brother who was manning the register, laughed. "Told you. Get another turkey leg."

"Dammit Wynter! Uncultured swine!" Val yelled, before picking out a turkey leg.

"Hey, it's fair food. Certain things are traditional. I never heard of Tlat-" Wynter struggled to pronounce it.

"It's tlatuda. And it's street food. That's the same as fair food," Valentina educated her.

"In Mexico. This is Texas. You can add tlatuda to your menu, but stop debating the food and serve it." Sophia, Valentina's mom, lectured her as she brought over fresh corn from the grill.

"I'll take elote too. " Wynter added. Val rolled her eyes as Wynter paid for her food. Once she got her food, she walked happily to an unoccupied picnic table. She would have felt strange eating alone, but she was too hungry to care. She took big bites of her turkey leg and was barely swallowing before biting into her corn smothered in delicious toppings.

"Double-fisting this early in the night? Impressive." Jackson teased, joining her at the table.

Wynter, caught off guard by both his presence and comment, sputtered on her mouthful of corn.

"You ok?" He grinned at her.

"No!" She said, finally swallowing the food in her mouth. "You almost made me choke."

"My bad. That's not how I wanna choke you." When she cut her eyes at him, he cleaned it up with a grin. "I meant, I don't want you to choke at all. Eat carefully."

"Will do." She took a smaller bite of her corn.

"Are you here with your family?" He asked, sitting next to her.

"Kinda, my cousins are all volunteering, but I'll probably go help them out," Wynter explained. "How bout you? Shouldn't you be volunteering?"

"I volunteered my time setting up the games and restoring the carousel." He responded. "That's what I was doing in the church basement last week."

"Really? That's the same carousel from back in the rodeo days? I thought Grandpa disposed of it years ago."

"No, he donated it to the church. My brother worked on it for years and we got it up and running now." He told her.

"That's amazing. Y'all did your work for the day." She joked, playfully. She put her finished corn down. "Does that mean you have time to hang out?" She proposed, trying to sound casual. Hanging out with him sounded more fun than being alone, but she didn't want to sound thirsty or like she was begging for a date.

He nodded. "Yeah, I have time. You wanna go play some games, or are you still hungry?"

Wynter tilted her head, thoughtfully. "A funnel cake sounds amazing right now, but we can play games first."

They got up and walked around the fair, playing games together. Even with Jackson setting up the games, they were having trouble winning a prize. They struck out on a reindeer ring toss, the Christmas tree ornament balloon pop, and the snowball basket toss. They joked about playing the little kids' game where everyone was a winner. It was lighthearted and fun, and she enjoyed that he wasn't a sore loser or super competitive. They were having as much fun as the winners just enjoying each other's company. They ran into his older brother Elijah, sister-in-law Elena, and his nieces and nephew at the carousel. His nephew Ethan wanted to go down the slide, Evelyn wanted to go to the pony rides and Ellie didn't want to leave the carousel. Jackson offered to take Ethan to the slide, but because Wynter hadn't seen Grace yet, she went with Elena and Evelyn to the pony rides. Once they got there, Wynter helped Grace get Evelyn on a saddle, and they chatted as they monitored the 4 ponies walking in a circle. Grace asked her if she was having fun, and Wynter told her she was. Wynter revealed that she was hanging out with Jackson, but emphasized they were having a good time as friends.

"You don't have to explain yourself, Wynter. I'm happy you're happy." Grace told her, sincerely.

"My bad, I thought I was talking to Liberty and automatically started defending myself," Wynter said, only partially kidding. She wasn't used to having to explain her actions to anyone as much as Liberty.

Grace looked like she wanted to say something but thought better of it.

"What is it?" Wynter asked.

"You know Liberty was the hardest on herself for not realizing something was going on with you. I know you keep your feelings to yourself. I see it because I do the same, but Liberty believed you only opened up to her. She thought she was your confidant. She was hurt when she realized she wasn't." Grace explained.

"It has nothing to do with her. I'm working through my own stuff. I'm just realizing it's not even all about my ex. I open up once I worked it out for myself. That's just how I'm wired." Wynter exhaled.

"I get that, but you know Liberty. If she has a hangnail, the world knows about it." Grace exaggerated, making Wynter smile. "For someone as vocal as she is, she needs that reassurance that you know she's there if you need her."

"Understood. I will work on being more forthcoming with my emotions. And just so you know, I appreciate our talks. It means everything to know you're willing to listen to my bullshit." Wynter smiled.

"Always." Grace nodded.

After she left Grace, Wynter went to find Liberty. She found her hanging out at Santa's workshop, with the fire chief dressed as Santa as kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they wanted. Wynter joined her, snapping a few pictures before sitting beside her.

"Remind me tomorrow to tell you what I found out about my mom." Wynter began. When Liberty looked concerned, Wynter added. "I need to talk to Aunt Amira, so we don't need to get into it right now, but I do wanna hear your thoughts about it."

"Why don't we all talk tomorrow at the beauty salon?" Liberty asked.

"Sounds great." Wynter nodded thinking that was a good idea, to make it a conversation instead of accusing Amira of taking the letters. "That's why I love you cuz. You're always here for me... even when I want you to go away."

Liberty laughed and laced her arm with hers. "Damn right, and don't you forget it!"

Liberty and Wynter sat together, people-watching and recording themselves singing along to the Christmas music. They were laughing at each other and posting on social media when Jackson approached them, funnel cakes in hands.

"Hey, you still want a funnel cake?" He offered her.

Wynter smiled, genuinely thrilled that he remembered she wanted a funnel cake, and took the initiative to get her one. "Yeah, I do. Thank you."

"That looks good, I'm gonna go get one." Liberty stood up, shooting Wynter a look. "Y'all enjoy the funnel cake."

After she left, Wynter and Jackson ate the red velvet and plain funnel cakes together. In the beginning, they chuckled at their awkwardness at trying to share the messy treat. As they ate, the mood shifted, and the sexual tension between them was getting too hard to ignore. Watching him lick the powder sugar off his fingers made her remember his mouth and fingers on her body. She was forgetting why she was dead set on them being just friends...

"Stop looking at me like that Wynter." He said, in a soft voice, looking up to meet her eye.

"How am I looking at you Jackson?" she breathed, her heart thumping hard in her chest.

He leaned in closer to her, speaking softly in her ear. "Like you want me to take you to the church basement and reenact our first night together."