All Comments on 'A Woman-Catching Bikini'

What a wonderful combination of a good story and hot erotic content! You've got talent, and thank you for sharing it!

...shame about some of the errors. With some careful editing this could have been very good. At the start of the tale you were over-heavy with the dialogue which would probably put some readers off. There were some grammatical errors and Steph became Shelby twice (perhaps at first you intended the character to be called Shelby and changed your mind?). I recommend finding a good editor or, when you've finished a story, put it aside for a few days and then re-read with a fresh eye---that might help you spot mistakes.

I removed those two Shelby's and made a few other edits the day before I submitted it. I must not have saved it. I can't believe it. Now I'll have to submit an edit, or I'll go crazy.

What a lovely story. The meeting and anticipation of first sex were genuine and quite hot. Keep writing, you're quite good. I love authentic dialogue.

exceptionally realistic descriptions of woman to woman lovemaking. Being male, it was quite an education in their needs and reactions. Erotic !

Definitely enjoyed this quite touching although brief "Love Story", regardless of the editing issues! However, also agree with the suggestion of your identifying an excellent editor for future stories.

I certainly feel your writing style is excellent and possibly you can continue the story in a Ch. 02 with Stephanie and Amber's 1st date!!!

And my jaw dropped at the kind words from Lisa Summers!

...on the verb ‘lie’

Very nice! I liked it how there was some depth to the characters, even in a short story like this. Congrats on your first lesbian story :)

Great story , and although just a couple of pages, it sure packed an emotional wallop. I hope Stephanie and Emma remain friends and Stephanie can share her adventures with Amber as well. In a million years I didnt think Steph was a widow, very very good story. 5 star worthy!!

Enjoyed the passion, the romance, and the sex! Well done!

This was pretty good, not bad.

Sexy, without the usual over-descriptive vulgarity.

You got me at the end, though. As a widowered cis-male, a bikini does me little good. ;)

Fun, snappy dialogue and great character development for such a short story. Five stars!