tagReviews & EssaysA Woman's Sexual Responses

A Woman's Sexual Responses


Let me first credit RisiaSkye who's article 'Sex Myths Unmasked: Foreplay' inspired me to write this amazing piece of work. So you don't find this amazing, just hold your horses. Even if you never find this amazing, just the fact I'm writing it is amazing to moi, being I'm moderately dyslexic. Thus the name I've made up here Dyslexicea.

Speaking of horses, I was too, at one time it used to be illegal for a woman to ride a horse any way but side saddle. Now I wonder why that was? Maybe I should try riding a horse. I already know what it's like to ride a Harley. We'll cover that wet spot on the seat later.

By the way moi is French for me. Time to blow my own horn. I'm fluent in English, French and Spanish. Although I only read and write English. Yea right, big deal! You are of course right it's not really a big deal. French being my second language, most important to my mother and her side of the family, I learned French from childhood at the same time I learned English. The Spanish became necessary because of the city where I now live, here it is essential for a person to both understand and speak Spanish.

Do I have a point to the above. Yes I do. Teach your children early to speak a second language, they'll find it very easy to pick up a third or fourth if that becomes necessary.

Before I go on a little witticism.

" My lover asked me if I wanted to have children.

I told her I didn't know, but we should keep trying."

-Suzy Berger

Let me start my composition by saying most people, including women, have very little idea about a woman's sexual response cycle. You may ask why do I care? For one I'm a woman. Second I happen to be a woman who loves women.

Yes that's right I'm a dyke, if you're not one don't you freaken dare call me one. The exception to that is if you're a gay man friend(every woman should have a gay male friend, lesbian, bi or straight). It's OK too if you're a straight male friend and your showing me how much you adore moi. Between us lesbian, at least here, dyke is more a term of endearment. If I lived in Dallas Texas, dyke may refer to butch or it might not. Confused? Welcome to my world!

Continuing on with my lecture for today. Sexologists (I'm assuming those who study sex not those who actually have sex, of course they may do, if it was those who do, I'd have a doctorate) have divided a woman's sexual responses into four phases excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Here's the rub on this whole phase thingy(not the thingy hanging between your legs guys, someone else needs to handle that lecture) there really is no exact order in which a woman's body experiences each body change during the listed phases. She may not even experience all of them. But they do give an order that mostly follows the norm. What the heck is normal anyway?

For our first phase I'm dropping the excitement description for arousal, which I consider more appropriate.

Phase number one Arousal.

Before I forget, Arousal could happen several times during a given situation. Like you're at a lesbian club, several woman, quit attractive woman, ask you to dance, it's possible to experience arousal with each one while returning to normal between each encounter. Not that I'd ever admit to something like that, you might call me a slut. Sounds delicious doesn't it, several women wanting just moi. Just think of the possibilities. Oh my I think I'm getting aroused just typing this. I can feel my panties getting wet.

Vaginal Wetness (lubrication), this is usually first, assuming the woman can do so, not all women can.(Of course they can but there may be very little wetness.) Wetness happens somewhere between 15 to 30 seconds as she's being aroused. The amount of wetness depends on the woman, some can get soaking wet, which I'm sure can at times be very embarrassing. Hey, quit looking at me, I'm just writing this, doesn't mean I know that for a fact. OK yea sure I've been embarrassed a few times. Most of the time I don't really get that wet but sometime I get extremely wet. Yes having a wet spot on the back of your skirt can be embarrassing.

Myth, how wet a woman is, is the determining factor on how aroused she is. Not true, she could hardly be wet at all and be extremely HOT or very wet and hardly aroused at all.

The Wetness is caused by one, a gland, I don't happen to remember the name, the gland does not produce much lubricate. Secondly because of vasocongestion, which is basically the increase in blood flow and blood pressure of the walls of the vagina. By the way vasocongestion is the same process that makes a man's thingy hard(I just love calling it a thingy). This change forces moisture from the vaginal walls thus adding the needed lubrication. (Oh by the way there is another process which actually causes the formation of moisture but sadly I can't remember it's name. Men don't get this process, might I add.) It is this process that gives a woman most of her lubrication. We all know, maybe not, that between women the amount, thickness, taste and smell of their vaginal lubricants varies. What you may not know is that for the individual woman these vary depending on the time of her menstrual cycle and what foods or drink she has consumed, along with some other factors which I'd rather not go into. It does not have anything to do with just how aroused she is. Got that. This is on your quiz which I'll administer later.

Myth, all women smell and taste marvelous all the time, not so. Oder fears by women is the number one reason many do not enjoy oral sex. Myself most of the time I really like the smell and taste of a woman. My advice to women, so what, you don't always smell great, get over it girls, oral is the most intimate sex two people can have. Also your best chance of having a Big "O", at least in my humble opinion, assuming no toys involved. If you smell really, really bad you need to go to your gynecologist.

Men listen up, a woman's wetness is not at all equivalent to your cum, it is only a lubricate, it signifies only the early stages of arousal. The presents of moisture does not mean she is ready for intercourse. Yea I know the word intercourse is taboo here.

If she's not wet then she surely isn't ready for intercourse or as I've said she doesn't lubricate, most of the time due to age. Dyslexicea does not want to think about getting old!

Sometimes a woman whom almost always lubricates does not. If she isn't lubricating or can't but she says she ready willing and able you're going to need some kind of lub. It's like using a strap-on or another type of vaginal device, by the way I just made vaginal device up, cool huh, even when we are lubricated, those types of devices need extra lubrication. My opinion is that all couples should have some toys and lub on hand. Of course many men don't want to hear that, thinking for some strange reason a woman liking something inside her other than his cock, fingers or tongue, is degrading. Men can be such a pain in the behindney. Of course we women never can be, yea right.

Of course if it's early on in your relationship no one wants to add toys, I surely don't, so let me repeat myself, the best way to give a woman an orgasm is oral. OK I'll admit I can probably do just as well with my fingers, they do dance nicely, but it's so very intimate with my tongue. Add my fingers to the mix and it's amazing, that is she'll find me amazing.

No guys a strap-on has nothing to do with a lesbian needing a cock once and a while. Hey I have an inney, get it, my vagina is made to have something inside that is stimulating, fingers are always nice but so are toys. Guess what, it's fun to strap it on and fuck my partner, that is when I have one, a partner I mean. Have strap-on well travel. Just so you know that's "Have gun well travel", I have never seen that TV program, do not, I say do not use that to guess my age. I understand exactly how you guys feel when you're humping away. By the way the best strap-ons stimulate my clit. She gets hers, I get mine!

Does she always get hers? I'm speaking here of women in general. Not all women, less than half, can have vaginal orgasms or if they can her man can't last long enough to give her one.(strap it on guys) Even among woman who can have vaginal orgasm a clitoral orgasm is much better. If you want a sexually happy woman, then I say foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Which in your case is foreplay, in ours, all women not just lesbians, it is the real deal. Got that? I'll be giving a quiz later, so pay attention.

Another little gem:

"Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian."

Fran Lebowitz

Continuing on. Also during this phase the inner two-thirds of the vagina expands, the uterus and cervix are pulled upwards, the outer lips (labia majora) flatten and spread apart, the inner lips (labia minora) increase in size, the nipples become erect and the breasts increase in size. Note: Most women who have breast fed do not have an increase in breast size. Have no idea why.

I need to get off subject for a sec or two. Again? yes again. A woman's cervix being the subject. One of my pet peeves here at Literotica is "he penetrated her cervix with the last two inches of his massive cock" or something like that, WHATEVER. That is just so freaken stupid. No a cock cannot penetrate a woman's cervix, it can whoever beat the hell out of it. It is physically impossible for a man's penis to penetrate a woman's cervix, that is unless she's pregnant, in labor and dilated and she sure as hell does not want a cock inside her at that time!!! Knock, Knock, Knock file that away somewhere in your gray matter, so you don't sound so fucking stupid.

I might as well continue on my rant, long cocks, 10", 11", 12" or longer, get real my vaginal canal isn't even close to that length, yes I can accommodate somewhat more then my length. But this super cock stuff is just stupid. I do not, repeat do not want my cervix beat to hell. Ask a guy who has a long cock just how much women really do love that, he's going to tell you women don't, he can't get full penetration he can't let go and lose control because if he does it well be his last time putting that thingy inside her. How come I know that and you guys don't, don't you ever talk sex, don't you ever ask questions of other men? Or is your sex talk just dirty stuff. Not dirty in a bad way. Sadly I already know the answer. I hang out with the guys once and a while. My, My you men can be so crude sometimes, but we do agree on that hot blonde with the sexy ass.

I bet I can get into her panties before you do. Yea right, what are the odds, it's estimated that only 10% of the female population is lesbian, add another 20% to 25% bisexual or bi-curious. At best I have a 35% chance of scoring. It's not my fault, it those foolish straight women's fault.

Grit yes, thicker is better, look in my toy box and they are all thicker, but they are all reasonable. My god I don't want something that I can barely get in my mouth stuck in my vagina. Yes some lesbian I know do use some extremely thick dildos and I do mean extremely. I have no idea why. Some women like fisting too, I have even less of an idea, that does not mean that most women want a fist inside of them. GET IT be reasonable. Guys if you like big cocks and you want them in your stories fine but at least make them reasonable. I think it's hilarious that straight men are so fascinated by other men's big cocks. Maybe you men aren't as straight as you think! Or your stupid and think being the alpha male has something to do with cock size, wrong organ.

Get it! Stop writing stupid bullshit like that. Moving on.

More importantly the clitoris increases in size and becomes more sensitive. The clitoris is the most sexually sensitive part of a our body, it has an abundance of nerve endings, roughly twice that of the male penis, did you get that our little clit has twice what your penis has! Which makes the clitoris very sensitive to direct or indirect touch or pressure. Did I need to include this last bit? Yes I did considering the number of women who claim not to be having orgasm during sex with their male partners.

Yes I said male partner because I assure you if she's with another woman she's going to have her big "O", most of the time more than one. I really shouldn't be so mean and nasty but that is a fact jack. Maybe that has a great deal to do with gender differences, women having a tendency to want to please, while men have a tendency to want to be pleased.

During the Plateau Phase which I'll cover next, excepting the Clitoris, which I'll cover here. The clitoris becomes ever more erect, it moves toward the pubic bone, becoming more hidden by the hood. At this time it may become necessary to actually pull the hood away from the clit to better stimulate it. I'm sure most women do so during masturbation, if you're confused have her show you.

As a matter of fact it really is important for her to show you how she masturbates, if you are a man that is. I like to watch too, what a turn on, makes me wet, but I surely don't need to watch to know how to bring a woman to orgasm.

Most women masturbate without much attention to any other body part then her Clit, the reason being she's seeking an orgasm. But if your woman enjoys other stimulation, you'll then know something extra for your romp in the sack. Myself I'll dip my finger in between my lips but only if I need some extra lubrication while I'm masturbating.

There are times when I'm extra horny, at those times I'll use my index and middle finger, of my left hand, to stimulate my vagina eventually ending up sucking them clean. I love my smell and flavor. By the way if I want a really good time at self play I'll use some toys, love my toys. My sonic tooth brush for my clit and a vibrating dildo for my cunt. See I can use the cunt word. Too much info huh.

Please don't take this wrong I surely want many more of my body parts stimulated during partnered sex. Another point I'd like to make is that each woman is different, what stimulates one isn't always going to stimulate another. Only one fast rule CLITORIS!!!!!

Another myth I'll destroy here is that some women can't have multiple orgasms. Every woman can, some may be able to move more quickly between orgasms but every woman can. I've seen it written here that men can do the same, clinically speaking that is not true. Sorry guys!

Here I go again ranting, multiple orgasms mean more than one, each orgasm is separate, there is always some time in-between each, time varies it may be very little. It is not continuous as some of you write. I think some of you mistake an orgasm with our contractions during each orgasm. The number of contraction can vary, sometimes a couple, others as many as 20. With any individual woman this varies, each of us has many different types of orgasms. Sexologists of course tell you according to their instruments all orgasms are the same, now I don't know what kind of instruments they use to measure an orgasm but ask any women if her orgasms are always the same and she'll tell you NO, while looking at you as if you're a nitwit.

Orgasm are like anything else the more you have the easier they are to have. Practice, practice, practice. No you men don't need to practice, I'm sure the first time you played with that little thingy you had an orgasm. It's OK guys, you're allowed to practice if you want. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you men do need to practice, practice not cumming to soon!

"If a woman experiences one orgasm, she can usually have many more in one session, as long as adequate stimulation continues. Some women will have one orgasm almost right after another, for as long as the stimulation is continued. Practice seems to make this more probable. The clitoris may be extremely sensitive after the first orgasm, requiring a very light or indirect touch. A woman may need only to slip a little ways away from the point of orgasm before she can have another. In this case, deep breathing may help a woman recover more quickly, enabling her to move onto her next orgasm. Most multiple orgasms occur during masturbation as there is nothing or no one to distract a woman from her pleasure, and a vibrator is more likely to be utilized. An electric vibrator does not get tired, unlike a woman's own hand, or that of her partner. A male partner who has himself experienced an orgasm may find himself incapable of continuing his stimulation of his partner. If a male partner wants to bring their female partner to multiple orgasms, they will probably have to forego their own pleasure, at least temporally."

That's right guys don't shoot your load. Isn't it amazing all the different ways sexual things can be expressed?

The above paragraph in quotes is not mine, I'd love to credit the author but I can't because it's from some literature handed out by one of the local lesbian groups, intended mostly for newbie's. Yes that's newbie lesbians. So we want our girls to experience the best sex ever, hell she was probable with some guy before she came out to the closet. Well just shoot me, I can be such a bitch.

Speaking of toys, I know I was, my favorite is a sonic truth brush, get rid of those bristles, somewhere here at Literotica is a essay done several year back about it being the best clit toy ever, I have to agree. I don't remember the authors full name, she even describes how to prepare it for play. I think the authors name starts with or ends with Diane, not sure.

By the way I also counsel 'ready to come of out of the closet' younger women, high school age. It's a very hard time in a young woman's life. It surely was for me I have the scares, very faint now, on my wrists to prove it. Hopefully I get to talk to them before they tell their family, families can be really hurtful and of course cause the most harm but so can friends. Young guys, older guys too, can be real jerks, it's quite OK if a girl's bi, men even want to watch but rejecting men by becoming lesbian turns men very hateful. Correction not all men/boys, not even most men/boys, if only the nice ones would stand up to the assholes who aren't. I should have made that unisex, boys I think have it even worse.

She may be lesbian but if one of you men/boys stand up for her you'll be her hero!

Another Quote: It's better to be black than lesbian, cause when your black you don't have to tell your mum. I don't know who to credit for this one.

Some of you may think from some of the things I've written that I'm a man hating lesbian, nothing could be further from the truth. I genuinely like men I have many male friends. Sorry your gender just doesn't make my heart flutter. The best I can do is to be very fond of some of my men friends.

Phase Number Two Plateau:

Don't confuse the use of Plateau Phase with that of a woman reaching what's called Plateau as she comes close to orgasm. The latter Plateau refers to a point just before orgasm, where for whatever reason she just can't have an orgasm close but not close enough. I'm sure that has happened to all of us. Very, Very frustrating! I've never had this problem during masturbation but I have had this happen to me during sex with a lover. I think of it as climbing to the very top of a mountain and being unable to fall off into an orgasm.

Speaking of mountain climbing I've done that a few times, not that I'm good at it, but my friends, husband and wife, were. Yes I did have a thing going with the wife, he seemed to think it was way cool. Men are very strange creatures. If I'd have really wanted to I could have stole her from him. Maybe I did. Hmmm interesting story idea that one. By the way no mountains where I live we had to travel north to get to those.

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byDyslexicea© 17 comments/ 14880 views/ 9 favorites

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