All Comments on 'A Working Man Pt. 01'

So well developed and believable. Looking forward to more.

Fantastic Story! So Far So Good! 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Phillip buddy, you got the best years of her life out of her. Now that she's obviously gone batshit crazy it might be time to devise a plan "B". Great stuff so far King. Looking forward to this tale.

Bandor, you are a multi-talented man, to say the least. Will await the conclusion before posting a complete comment.

where is the second part?

hurry and get part 2 finished

it's a good start. lets see where you go with it.

i don't believe his wife was still a virgin on prom night, their oldest daughter is probably not his.

Even if she shoots Jessie, their marriage is over and the family will all suffer.

brilliant, love your writing, realy enjoyed this story,, you left it at a ,,,,whats the word,, critical,,,vital,,, i dunno, but its at that point where i cant wait to see part two,, thanks for writing, thanks for sharing

I am new to this site and came upon this story by chance, and I thoroughly enjoyed (?!) reading it. It's extremely well written, and I'm giving it four stars. I would have given five, but I felt the protagonist was naive to not keep a check on when the monster would be released from prison. It also seemed like the first time he had sex with her on prom night, there was no indication given, perhaps on purpose by the author, that it was the first time for her, like the presence of hymen. Like another comment here has suggested, the first daughter was possibly not his, which would give a reason for the wife's dishonesty about her clandestine meetings and eventual adultery, as she might have been threatened with disclosure. I empathize with the main character as I'm also a product of the strict American work ethic, thereby not always making the best choices in life. I'm looking forward to the next part, and if things mesh correctly, I'll revisit my score and up it.

Now I've to go and read the author's earlier stories. Well done, King Bandor!

Haven't you done this one before??

... I’m eagerly waiting for the next chapter. 5*. Thanks

This is very written and incredibly engaging. I hope Part 2 will be posted soonest.

I thought it curious Phillip did not mention how he and Maggie dealt with their guilt over Jesse's drunk driving accident that resulted in Teresa's death among others. Obviously Jesse bears the brunt of the burden but both Phillip and Maggie have some responsibility for the fact the accident occurred. It was inappropriate for Phillip to go to the prom with the intent to claim her. Phillip's father showed an unfortunate side to his character to the extent he encouraged Phillip to disrespect Jesse's position that night. That's not what a good man does.

Maggie was Jesse's prom date - full stop. She accepted his offer to take her and she owed him her loyalty for the occasion. Her offer to dump Jesse at the last minute if Phillip would agree to take her was distasteful and showed no integrity. If Jesse knew she felt this way that would do much to explain his drinking and foul attitude that night.

Phillip.was directly responsible for Teresa ending up with Jesse for that fatal drive. Phillip drove her to the Roadhouse with the understanding he would have sex with her. She became distraught and desperate when he rejected her and in that state of mind she latched onto Jesse.

How could Phillip and Maggie not both feel guilty? How could Maggie refuse Jesse if he wanted sex twenty years later? How could Phillip object?

This is a great story. Thank you, KB.

Great first chapter, I'm looking forward to the next one.

My guess is that Jesse fucked her on prom night, knocked her up and is Terri's father. Maggie's behaviour changed after she started going to college about 27 years later... when Jesse would have been released from jail. I reckon she met him by accident, then he started blackmailing her into sex, so she cut off her husband out of guilt.

Even without the affair, her behaviour over the last few years was atrocious. I hope he burns the bitch in the next chapter!

2* Stereotypical LW story of wimpy, obtuse, cucky husband who gets bullied over and over and can't fight for his girl. Now he finds out that wife is cheating with a deformed Jesse who abused used her too. Say whaaat? Illogical. Bandy needs manhood lessons.

That their first born was actually fathered by Jesse because Maggie let someone she didn't want fuck her on prom night for some brain dead reason.

That information was probably somehow used to convince Maggie, who we have already determined isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, to be his slut and betray her husband.

I'm not impressed with Maggie and your protagonist was a bit of an idiot in high school but this is entertaining and got me interested to see how the train wreck of their lives plays out.

Oh sure, he you gave his kid some work ethic, but he also turned him into an antisocial simp who was unable to put anything else above his job.

Fact be told, if he had raise his kid right, actually gave a damn about his social life (how the fuck didn't he asked Phil about prom? What kind of parent is he!?) instead of making him work to the bone, the whole Maggie/Jesse thing would have never happened, Jesse wouldn't have knock Maggie up with Terry in high school, and he wouldn't be able to blackmail her into cuckolding her husband right now (yes, I'm assuming a lot here, but I would be mighty surprise if it isn't actually where this is going.)

A sorry bastard, this Philip guy turned out to be... but I can't, for the life of me, feel the least bit sorry for me. I think I lost all respect I could ever muster for this MC when he kept repeating "It's inventory", when he could have VERY EASILY taken Maggie's hand, drag her to his house, and then clearly state to his folks "Dad, I'm taking Saturday off to take Maggie to the prom, and that's final!" His parents would have probably be overjoyed by it all, but no can do... not when you're a simp without any backbone. So why should I feel sorry for him, becoming - or, way more likely, finally realizing that he is and always has been - a cuckold? His final reaction to it all - trying to find his gun to show Jesse who's the man, and him walking away from it all, when he instead should have started the process of ending his marriage, basically makes him even more unlikable.

You can't root for stupid... you just can't.

I'll read the next chapter, just to find out whether or not I figure out this whole plot right. I doubt I will enjoy it much, though, and I know I just do not have enough sympathy toward this MC to care about him surviving this ordeal. But, as much as I dislike Phil, boy do I detest his dad! Work for work's sake is dumb, and never explaining this very simple concept to your kids will make you one sad excuse of a parent.

Anyway, see you all at the next chapter...

part 2! part 2 please! great work as always. enjoyed the read and the character development. more please!

What is Jesse blackmailing her with?

first thing in the story work hard and take care of business.running away from family don't jive.destorying them sound more like it.

He walked away from his house, his marriage, his family and, of course, his business. How damn stupid could he be? He just gives it all to his slut wife? That obviously isn't the case so why make him out to be a martyr?

A 5* work from you as usual looking forward to part 2.

Great stuff so far . I'm enthralled. Please have the next chapter up loaded for tomorrow. Hate being left to wait days on end . 5 stars so far . Dont CUCK IT UP NOW.

I'm hooked. Can't wait for part two!

If she was going to shoot Jesse, why not before the trip?

So Jessie was in the accident and suffered the brain injury. But the wife, Maggie, was the one that ended up with brain damage.

Yeah, their first kid was sired by Jesse. He's probably been blackmailing her to have sex with him so he won't tell Phillip. It's not like he could really try to be a father to Terri, she's an adult now, so she'd never ignore her parents. So what's the big deal? She wasn't a virgin on prom night?

Phillip wouldn't have cared then and probably wouldn't care now, even after raising Jesse's daughter. So maybe Maggie will kill Jesse; at least Phillip will get to keep everything from the marriage instead of splitting it with Maggie in the divorce. And he really needs to divorce her. She couldn't trust him enough to tell him what was going on, she's been treating her husband like crap for a long time, and, of course, she's screwing another man.

Well...I'll be reading part two for sure.

No need to make the story too stereotypical now. Jesus that was funny. Every heavily used trope out of those old caricatures of high school.

He is fucked. Thanks to the Gloria Steinham divorce laws she would get pretty much half of everything outside the business itself ( since he had that before they were married) if he divorced her, if he kills Jesse he goes to jail, if she kills him the same thing. Even assuming Jesse blackmails Maggie into having sex over the kid Phillip can't take her back, there is just no way.

And yes the father was a horror show, there is a difference between a work ethic and a cluess asshole of a father. No wonder mom smelled like Sherry when she taught him to dance,the dad must be a real thrill a minute as a husband.

I have been waiting and waiting for Act 2 of your incubus/succubus saga, so I eagerly hit the hyperlink to your stories when I saw that submission 94 was available today. I was confused, however, to discover that this was a new story and not a follow-up; however, I jumped headfirst into reading it. I enjoyed it until Maggie began cheating as I thought this was going to be another supernatural thriller. If you're not going to go that route, and this is going to be a cheating wife story, then I would ask that you fill Part 2 with more background of what Maggie has been up to sexually with the other man/men, i.e., has she been fucking only Jessie or a reluctant participant in group sex and will our hero find DVDs of her in action? I also hope we find out if Maggie has been lying to our hero from the very beginning or if she was blackmailed/coerced into having sex with Jessie and others. The latter is more sexually stimulating to me as your reader, but whichever route you take, I would appreciate your including more detailed descriptions of the sex now that you have developed the background story. I gave you 4 stars, and will reserve my opinion to see in which direction this story goes.

Great story. I'm hooked from the beginning. Have to find out what you're going to do with this one.

I really don't understand why authors have to publish one chapter or section of a story before completing and publishing the entire story. Sometimes it takes weeks before the second or subsequent parts appears and at time it is never completed. Do me a favor finish the Fucking story first then present it in totality. It has the makings of a good story I wonder if it will ever be completed?

I hope you don't follow up with the usual suspects. Their oldest is Jesse's child. Maggie was bored and felt unappreciated. Yada yada yada. And the dumbest thing happened in the last paragraph. Why would he leave? Why wouldn't he use the time left before her return to prepare? Hide assets, take out second mortgages, sell the business, make sure she gets fired from her job. Make sure his children KNOW their Mother is a whore. Sticking his head in the sand isn't a plan. It's the coward's way out. And what man out there loses his gun? I hope you save this story in the 2nd chapter.

What if the oldest daughter is not Jesse's. Perhaps Maggie remembered that Jesse had a big cock and she has been dreaming about it for a long time? Not the bread crumb trail you left us with but, a twist for the story still a 1* because after trying to get her to let him go to NY with her he doesn't confront her when he finds out she is on vacation.

It's not who fathered Maggie's kid that her ex is holding over her head, it's that she was behind the wheel of the car the night of the accident.

Well dont ever use your own gun.... get a stolen one, better yet break in his dump and poison his whiskey!!

The first chapter was great. This is he rare recent post that I want to see more of.

Do you know what one of the better inventions of the 21st century has been? Streaming. This way you can watch an entire season instead of this one step at a time bullshit. Was War and Peace published in volumes? Was Gone With the Wind? - NO.

SERIALS SUCK!

and if you like releasing stories one step at a time then go back to throwing $100 bills on a string out in the street.

Found myself bored by the second page, I'd rather have a root canal than read another chapter.

KB, Your Excellent writing has gotten the crowd stirred up with Phillip, Jesse and Maggie. It will be interesting what happened to the pistol. Black mailing is likely the reason and the shame for not telling Phillip sooner. He would have been upset but would have “ worked” out a solution. Phillip’s ethics wouldn’t allow him to just walk away. He is likely “working” up a revenge plan for either Jesse or Maggie or both. Part 2 hopefully will be out sooner than later and answer some of the questions. Thank You and looking forward to reading the next chapter.

Hard work pays off so much that three generations of these so called super hard workers only managed to get a two bit hardware store where the son is used as slave labour

Can't get past that kind of illogical nonsense.

1*

A 5 star story but I hope there are twists to come as currently it seems the first child is Jesse's. She is being coerced in some way to have sex and she intends to shoot him after she gives him great sex. She doesn't have the guts to tell her husband before doing this and shoots herself through the guilt she feels. Can't wait to see where this goes.

Too read the mental gymnastics that’ll lead them back together always fun to read raac stories especially how they get back together cause they love each other

I hope he doesn’t go wimpy cuck and is able to extract revenge against the cheaters...

I won’t rate this yet, but will wait for the next chapter.

5 stars. Looking forward to the next installment.

To blackmail somebody you need to have something to hang over their heads, and yes, perhaps their daughter is Jessie’s child. But, how the hell would Jessie know that unless Maggie told him?

I hope the story doesn’t pull this old, tired trope out of the hat when there are more subtle ways to explain Maggie’s betrayal, especially when giving-in to blackmail would damage her marriage far more than Phil finding out he was not the biological father of his daughter.

I don’t think it’s an accident that the author had Maggie specializing in counseling, and I can imagine Jessie getting out of jail as a broken and sad man in search of some understanding and compassion (or revenge). Perhaps he accidently met up with Maggie in her role as a counselor and poured out his heart to her, and in return Maggie felt a lot of sympathy and empathy for him, especially since it’s quite likely that Jessie took her virginity that night.

Perhaps she fucked him in a moment of compassion and he used that to blackmail her, or perhaps she just fell out of love with Phil and developed some weird and mutually-dependent relationship with Jessie. Hell, she could even have been fucking around with a lot of guys.

But what about the missing gun? This is a big question mark and seems to indicate that Maggie may be going to kill someone (even assuming she’s the one that took it), probably Jessie. But hang on, from the video that Phil saw she appears to be a very willing participant with Jessie, and although the author didn’t say how long she’d been acting as a bitch towards Phil it had to be many months if not years.

Even if Jessie seduced Maggie for revenge, why would she take the gun and then spend time in Manhattan fucking his brains out? Just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Whatever the reasons for Maggie’s betrayal, I feel she deserves NO sympathy from Phil. Even if she is being blackmailed she’s still far too late to do something about it now and she’s definitely several dollars short.

This story really got to me and, like Phil, her betrayal felt like I’d been kicked in the guts (this is the sort of gut-wrenching emotion a good story should generate in the reader). Even though Phil’s work ethic early on was labored too much in order to give Maggie a reason to attend the prom with Jessie (I thought it overdone and rather unbelievable), by the end of the story I really felt for Phil.

And to find that she was cheating with that motherfucker who'd treated her and Phil like shit was even worse.

I empathized with his sudden departure from his family and home, probably to wander aimlessly while he tried to understand how his life had been turned upside-down. I can imagine the hurt and despair he must have felt BUT I’m hoping the author gives him purpose and lots of anger in the next part so he can burn the bitch. I feel absolutely NO sympathy for Maggie.

No matter how the author ties this up, I must agree with NJLAUREN (3/9/20 No matter what happens) – He is fucked!

After reading the story again it would seem Maggie was not having any sex with Phil for years, but surely Phil can't be this dense to put up with that?

He first noticed her moodiness and withdrawal from him while she was still at night school, then she got a degree at SMU (Suck Me {off} University - how appropriate for the whore) and that must have taken a year or two. Then she got a job and started working long hours, often on weekends, and STILL Phil wasn't aware???

I still like the buildup to what I hope is a monumental BTB, but really? Would any sane man not notice that she left the marriage years ago?

Ok, I just finished part 2 and it is being reviewed and proofread. I started on part 3. Part 2 ended up being 56 pages in Google Docs, or 22,000 words. That's several times as long as part 1. I considered splitting it up, but it needed to go out together. So, it is what it is. Hopefully, I can post it tomorrow.

Please bear in mind, I'm not a professional writer. I have a couple of other real jobs, so my time or writing is quite limited. I tried to get this done as quickly as I could.

Thanks for all of the comments. It is interesting to see the wide array of viewpoints. This story has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me, so far. It started out as an attempt to tell one of the "age old" LW tropes, my way. In fact, my first concept was to emulate a very specific theme of the "good man" married to a "slut" with one-dimensional characters and all that. I wanted to see if I could do it.

I failed. Very quickly, I began to feel the characters come alive and tell me their story. It transformed rapidly into what it has become. Part 1 tells the story as Phillip experienced it. You learn what he knew and get to feel what he felt. What you don't get is the WHY.

Part 2 takes a MUCH deeper dive into the characters (Jesse, Teresa, and Maggie) and gives you a lot of the WHY. Part 3 will be confrontation and aftermath. I hope you will like it. Oh, and don't worry, there aren't any willing cuckolds here.

I broke one of my own writing rules with this story. I'll tell you which one after part 2 posts. Let's see if anybody guesses it.

LB

The next wimph run away! What about the kids? Leave all? The only you can call coward is a man(?) how runs or get drunk or both. No need to get the reason no need to maybe protect the wife. Only run! Or kill. If someone is dead there is no get back. Its no video game its real so be careful about this!

And the mayor BTB community you are standing this deep under your wives thump to fantasy for revenge?

Please post the next chapter soon.

I'd like a cheated-on husband to not beg off having sex before she goes away on her marriage-breaking vacation.

Either give her a rage-f@%k that tells her you know what's about to happen.

Or beg off by telling her you're being faithful to your the woman you love whom you haven't seen in a long time.

You've already got the basis for divorce. It's a good time to show her your ruthless side.

But as always, King, you're a great one, so I'd never tell you how to construct a story.

From so many different angles, I think this is your best effort yet. 5*.

As I often say, this is your story to tell, don't worry what the naysayers think. If they want the story to go a different way, they can write their own.

Hoping you can keep it up.

Hooked

Ok, so I have posted part 2. It is long. 56 pages in Google Docs. It was too long to load into Grammarly in one shot. It gets dark and has some elements that are raw and painful.

Fine so far, how about continuing at a faster pace ?

Well. Part 2 was rejected and I have to revise it. Apologies for the delay.

Came back to this story with plans to nudge you to get Chap 2 submitted but saw your messages. Good luck with the revisions and will continue to look forward to reading more. Hope you will tell us what changes you make.

Thanks for your time and efforts, KB.

Great story! I have no idea why Maggie would be cheating with Jesse - it makes no sense. Can't wait for the next part to find out why!

Ok, the revised version of part 2 has been submitted. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

How does that work? Who rejected it? Why?

In part 2, there was a scene that the moderators felt was inappropriate. It has been edited to address their concerns. So far, so good. Maybe tomorrow or the next day it will show up. We hope.

KB

Ok, the website shows Part 2 will go live on 3/17. So, get ready for a long one.

to protect adults reading stories on an X rated site from being corrupted. /sarc/ What hypocrisy and insipid virtue signaling. This website makes money off of getting authors to write for free, and then tries to tell them what and how to write? It certainly isn't a matter of "quality control". Some of the most insipid, disgusting, demented, poorly written drivel I've ever seen gets published here. Nothing this author has ever written comes remotely close to the dreck that constitutes the majority of what shows up on this site, and I say that as someone who is not a special fan of the author.

I also appreciate you and all the authors putting in their work during all the craziness going on.

Reading these stories is a nice diversion.

Submit the original on that other site...

I didn't think the scene was bad. But, I understand. It was a flashback to the time when Phillip, Maggie, Jesse and Teresa played "seven minutes in heaven". I had to remove the lines where Jesse got handsy.

Part 2 is live.

He wants to name his firstborn after his childhood tormentor, a multiple murderer who's doing 25 to life? Where the hell does that happen?

What possible reason would Maggie cheat with the asshole? Chapter 2 should be fun!!!

Terri became a lesbian. Pam became a doctor. Joey became a combat pilot. Is lesbian Terri’s job title?

He sounds like a typical clueless wanker who’s obsessed with a bitch that was obviously going to cheat.

Quit

Assistant manager and doesn't know to delay inventory until next morning

Another favoritism to get job

Off to a great start. Sounds like part 2 was a bit of a problem getting published.

Can't wait.

red head named maggie lol too bad she wasnt hold a big red flag lol. that actually got me thinking, man, it was fun being young and dumb. damn life is always too short when ur old lol