A Working Man Pt. 02

It meant more work for Phillip, but he never shied away from hard work. Just about the time he had both stores running smoothly, I found out I was pregnant again. It was another girl, and we named her after my grandmother Pam.

With the second child came a lot more work, not just for Phillip, but for me. He loved work, me, not so much. It was around that time that many of my friends who had gone off to college started coming home. Elizabeth Perkins had gotten a degree in Psychology and started a youth counseling business. She dedicated it to Teresa and swore she would do everything she could to help young girls deal with abuse. I admired her greatly and was more than a little jealous.

"Maybe I could go to night school and work on my degree," I suggested one night at dinner. Phillip was home for dinner three nights a week but worked at his second store on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so he got back late.

"When would you have time?" he asked. "You know, I have to work more now with the two stores. Plus, with Pam, we're running out of room here. I'm going to need to buy a house for us to have the room we need. Why don't you wait until the kids start school? Then, if you have the time, sure, go get a degree."

So, that became my goal. Once both kids started first grade, I'd be able to go to school and start working on my fulfillment.

Then, I got pregnant again. This one was a boy, so we named him after Phillip's father, who had recently passed away. Little Joseph, or Joey, was a handful. It was all I could do to continually chase after him while managing his two older sisters.

That meant six more years before I could go to college.

A few months after Joey came, Phillip hit me with another idea. " I think I'm going to open a third store."

"A third one?" I asked, feeling exasperated. "Are you kidding me? You're hardly ever here now? I have to do everything for the kids. It's all I can handle them now. And what about my going to college."

"You can still do that, once all of them are in school. That's still a few years off."

And so it was decided; Phillip could open a third store. I would be stuck at home with the kids. Don't get me wrong, I loved my family and my life. I just needed something else.

I never let my desire for more show. I raised three wonderful kids, and loved my husband more every day. He was my best friend, my confidante and my lover. We had incredible sex and did it often. But, I had a longing, a deeply-seated need to do something meaningful, outside the home.

When the girls were 3 and 4, I started taking them to gymnastics, soccer, cheerleading, and dance classes. When Joey was old enough, we threw in soccer for him, tee-ball, and for some strange reason, he wanted to learn to play the violin. I was exhausted. There was no time for me to just unwind and let myself go.

Even so, I still made time to keep myself looking as pretty as possible and to stay in shape. On top of that, I insisted that Phillip and I have sex at least three nights a week. I did everything I could to keep it exciting for him. He was a good looking man, with a big cock and I knew full well the world was full of girls like my friend Teresa. I would be damned if I would let some bimbo steal my husband. I was entirely devoted to him and didn't even look at other men.

When the kids started school, I got involved in volunteering as a teacher's aid and then with the PTA. By the time Joey was in Kindergarten, I was the president of the PTA and both a girl and boy scout troop leader. I didn't have time to even contemplate college, let alone try to attend class.

So, I pushed it off.

I was happy.

I was exhausted.

I was sexually satisfied.

And then one day, I looked in the mirror. I was no longer the same young girl who fell in love with and married her knight in shining armor. I was forty. My hair was graying, and my face had wrinkles. Two of my kids were in college, and the last one was a senior in high school and would be gone soon. I had spent the last quarter of a century doing things for other people and hadn't done anything for me.

That night at dinner, I brought up what was on my mind. Phillip was home. Lately, he was home a lot more. A few years ago, he converted the hardware stores into a franchise business and sold off stores #2 and #3 to new investors. He still had had hands in the original store, but he didn't have to be.

"Phillip, I think I'd like to try to start going to college now. The kids are all almost gone, and I have so much free time. What do you think?" I had prepared a whole speech, but it turned out I didn't need it.

"Sure," he said. "I think it's about time you did something for yourself."

So, that was it. The next week I went to our local community college and signed up for classes. I was so excited. I came home and told Phillip everything. When classes started, every night, I would come home and basically tell him everything we did in class. He was an avid listener. I loved that he let me be excited and didn't try to kill my enthusiasm.

I was blissfully happy. I was married to the man of my dreams, who loved me more than life. I had three perfect children and was now fulfilling my lifelong dream of going to college.

Then, one night, outside the campus library, as I was putting my key in the car door, I heard a voice that sent chills down my spine.

"Hello, Mags, long time no see."

I could see his reflection in the smoked glass of my Benz. He was older, balder with gray hair and scars that ran up and down half of his face, like a spiderweb.

"Hello, Jesse," I replied without turning around.

Chapter 14

"When did you get out?"

"Now, now, is that any way to greet your ex-boyfriend after not seeing him for twenty-five years."

I turned around and faced him. He looked terrible. He was a shell of the guy I once knew. He was skinny, to the point that the skin on his face appeared stretched over the skull. The scars from the car accident left him grossly disfigured and made it hard to look at him for long. He was missing a few teeth from what I could tell, too.

He was mostly bald, but the hair that remained around the sides was gray. It was missing altogether on the right side of his scalp. They said he had hit the windshield with the right side of his face and shattered the glass. He only went through partially, then the momentum threw him back, dragging his flesh through hundreds of razor-sharp shards that shredded his skin like meat through a grinder.

He wore a ratty old sweatshirt and dark work pants. They both looked like they hadn't been washed in a few months. He stunk. He was five or six feet from me, and the smell was horrible.

"What do you want?" I asked, covering my mouth and nose.

"I sleep in the park across the street," he explained. "The city gives me some cardboard to use as a house. I saw you here, coming and going the past couple of weeks. At least, I thought it was you. Now, I know for sure."

"What do you want, Jesse?" I asked again, growing angry.

"Just being neighborly," he said, grinning and looking me up and down. "You turned out pretty fine for the skinny girl, I remember."

"I have to go, Phil-I mean my husband is waiting on me." I didn't want him to know anything about me or my life. I certainly didn't want him to know I married Phillip.

"Phillip?" he asked. "You married that dumbass? Go figure."

"I have to go, I'm sorry." I opened the door and sat down. Before I could close the door, he stepped next to me, the smell was unbearable. I stared in shock. "Please, go away! I have to go."

"Spare a few bucks for an old friend? Maybe enough so I can get me a motel room and a shower?"

I grabbed my purse and pulled out my wallet. As I was reaching in to get some cash, Jesse snatched it out of my hand and took out all the money. He tossed the wallet back in my purse and stepped back, grinning. "That should get me some new clothes, too. Be seeing you, Maggie."

I started the car and sped out of the parking lot. I opened the windows to air the car out, trying to get rid of his stench, but it seemed stuck in my nostrils. By the time I got home, I was a frantic mess. I parked and ran inside, dropping my bags and pouring myself a glass of scotch, hands shaking uncontrollably.

I took a long drink, feeling the burn, then refilled the glass.

"You ok?" Phillip asked from the family room. I didn't know he was there, and I almost dropped my glass.

"I'm ok, just had a stressful class," I lied. I hated lying to Phillip. He didn't deserve it, but how could I tell him that Jesse had accosted me after school. I mean, maybe it was nothing. But, with Jesse, there was never just nothing.

Plus, I had a lot to hide from Phillip, where Jesse was concerned. Until I knew his motives, I needed to keep his reappearance from my husband.

"In fact," I continued, taking another drink of Scotch. "I'm thinking about quitting school. I think I've bitten off more than I can chew."

Phillip walked over and put his hands on my shoulders to give me a back rub. He was good about doing that. Whenever I was stressed out or not feeling well, he would give me a massage. Sometimes it would be the shoulders and neck, sometimes my feet; It just depended on what the problem was.

I shrugged my shoulders and stepped out of his grip. "I'm ok," I reiterated. "I think I'm going to go take a bath."

"You don't seem ok, but I'll take your word for it," he said. "I'll be here if you need me." He took the bottle of Scotch and topped off my glass.

"Thanks, honey," I told him. I felt horrible, but I was afraid if I stayed around him, I'd spill the beans. I needed to go sit in the bathtub by myself for a while.

I ran the water nice and hot, stripped down and climbed in. It took my breath away until I adjusted, then I lay back and soaked in the heat. I could still smell Jesse, so I plunged my head under the water.

Suddenly, I was an eighteen-year-old girl again, in the front seat of his car, struggling to breathe as he forced me to deep throat his cock. I sat up, sputtering water, and started to cry. Why was he back? Why hadn't someone done us a favor and shanked him in prison?

I sat there until the water became cold, and I shivered with the chill. Phillip found me like that and drained the tub. He helped me out and into a plush, warm bathrobe.

"I love you, Phillip," I told him as I leaned against his chest. "I love you with all my heart."

"I know, Maggie," he said as he held me and rubbed my back. "I love you too. Don't ever doubt that."

Over the next few days, I was in a depression. I didn't go to class or leave home. The school called to check on me. I lied and told them I was ill. Finally, after a few days, I decided to take a chance and go back to class. To be safe, I parked in a different lot and went to class the long way around, avoiding going anywhere near the park.

Jesse wasn't there. He didn't show up for the next few days. By the weekend, I was feeling better, and it showed. Phillip took me out to dinner Saturday night, and we spent many blissful hours in bed, making love like newlyweds. Sunday, we went to a movie and then had sex in the afternoon by the pool.

Monday, I went to class and enjoyed the lecture greatly. I was discussing some of the topics with one of my fellow students when a man approached us. I didn't recognize him at first, but when he spoke, I realized immediately that it was Jesse.

"Hello, Maggie," he said. "Going to introduce me to your friend?"

I stared for a long time. Jesse had cleaned himself up, bought new clothes, had what hair he had shaved off, and grown a bit of a goatee.

"Uh, oh," I said, "this is Sun Lee. Sun, this is my old high school friend, Jesse Milner."

"Old boyfriend," Jesse corrected. "I took her cherry after the prom."

I stepped forward and pushed Jesse toward the parking lot. "Excuse me, Sun," I said to my classmate then walked with Jesse out of her hearing.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Jesse, and what do you want?" I demanded.

"Hey, slow down," he laughed. "I'm just here to thank you for the money the other day. I was able to get an extended stay room for the month and buy these shiny new duds. But, most importantly, I could take a shower and get that smell off of me."

I needed him to understand that I wanted to be left alone. "Ok, well, you're welcome," I told him. "Now, please leave me alone. I don't want any problems."

"Problems?" he asked with a chuckle. "What kind of problems could I cause for you, princess? I don't want to cause anybody problems. I spent the last twenty-five years avoiding making problems."

"Ok, then, you need to stop showing up here and bothering me."

"Oh, seeing your old boyfriend is a bother?"

I was getting angry. I needed to control my emotions, but it was becoming difficult. "Jesse, you were never my boyfriend."

"Bullshit, I remember you riding in my convertible, going on dates, for a couple of months leading up to prom."

"That was fake! It was just a deal we made. It was just for show."

"I remember fucking you in my car and popping your cherry after prom. Isn't that the kind of thing you do with your boyfriend?"

"That never happened!" I shouted. "Phillip took my virginity that night! Not you!"

"No, no, I remember you sucking my cock as I finger banged your cunt. You were so hot and ready, I fucked you right there in the front seat with your dress still halfway on. You wanted it so bad, you couldn't even wait to get naked."

"That's not true! You were too drunk! You tried, but you couldn't get it up!"

Jesse stepped toward me menacingly. I stepped back, raising my hands defensively. I didn't know what he was capable of.

"You fucking bitch! I fucked you hard! I remember. I thought of that night over and over for the last twenty-five years. If you hadn't fucked things up, we would have never split up. I would have never had Teresa with me. I wouldn't have gotten so drunk, and I wouldn't have killed nobody. That's all on you, you bitch! Twenty-five years of my life in prison because of you!"

"No! It wasn't my fault! You were drunk! If I had stayed with you, I'd be dead now, not Teresa."

"Don't you get it, Maggie? If we had left when we were supposed to, we would have been in my bedroom, fucking when those people drove by that intersection. I wouldn't have been there to kill them. They'd all be alive. Teresa would be alive. I would have gone to A&M and played football. I'd be somebody. But, you took it all away!"

"No! It's not my fault!"

"You fucked me over for Phillip! It's because of him that I'm deformed. It's his fault I spent over half of my life in jail. It's because of him I'll never walk normal again, and I can't think straight. I'm going to make him pay for it. I'm going to make you pay for it."

"What do you want?" I asked, growing desperate. I hoped a security guard came by and made him leave, but then I worried about what he would do.

"What do you think I want? I want money, you fucking bitch! I want to be paid for my suffering."

"How much?" I asked. "How much to make you go away?"

He smiled. He knew he had me over a barrel.

"Ten grand. You didn't tell Phillip about me being out, did you?" he asked. I didn't answer him. "Why not? Why don't you want your lovey-dovey hubby to know I'm out? Afraid he'll get jealous?"

"He doesn't need to be involved," I said. "This is my problem to deal with."

"You mean you don't want him to know," he replied. "Why is that? You don't want him to know that he wasn't your first? You afraid he might get mad knowing you lied to him about that all this time?"

He watched me waiting for my reaction. When I didn't give him one, he pressed on. "Or maybe you are afraid he'll find out how much more you liked my fucking than his?"

"No! You were a pig! Phillip is a gentle, loving man who took care of me. He loved me. You just wanted to use me! You disgusted me then, and you disgust me now!"

I probably shouldn't have said any of that. I should have kept my mouth shut and paid him the ten-thousand.

"Twenty grand," he said. "I'll give you until next Monday. Be here then, with twenty grand in cash, and I'll leave you two love birds alone."

Chapter 15

That night, Phillip worked late. When he came home, the house was dark and quiet. He assumed I was not there, even though my car was in the garage. I heard him call my name a few times, but I was nearly catatonic. He found me lying on our bed, on my side, facing away, in the dark.

"Maggie, are you alright?" he asked, very concerned for me.

He felt my forehead, then knelt down next to me. He could see I'd been crying. He kissed my cheek. "What's going on?"

"I hate this class and this whole school," I lied. "I don't want to go back."

"Why?" he asked as he sat down next to me and rubbed my back. "Did something happen? You loved everything about it at first. What's changed?"

"I just don't fit in. I'm too old. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough."

"That's total bullshit, and you know it. You're brilliant. Your grades are practically perfect. Your instructor even wrote you a complimentary email, suggesting you should intern at the women's shelter. I don't understand this sudden transformation."

I nodded. "I know, but," I said, then Phillip interrupted me.

"Don't you want to help abused girls?"

"Of course, I do."

"Then what?" he asked.

"It's just, I don't feel very safe at this school. Homeless people are living next to the parking lot. Sometimes they harass women."

"Has someone harassed you?"

"N-no, not me, but my classmate Sun was accosted on her way to her car. I don't feel safe there any longer."

"Do you want to take my gun?"

"You have a gun?" I asked. I was shocked. I never knew we had a gun in the house. I would have raised hell. I hate guns.

"Yeah, I never told you because I know how you feel about them," he explained. He got up and went to the closet. "It's in the safe." He came back with it in a holster. "It's a Beretta 9mm. Pretty easy to use."

"Put that away before someone gets shot!" I said, sitting up angrily.

"The safety is on."

"Do you know how many people get killed accidentally by handguns that people think the safety is on?"

"No, do you?"

"No, but I'm sure it's a lot."

"Ok, ok," Phillip said. Conceding the point, he put the gun away. "It's in the safe. Nobody can get accidentally shot by it while it's in there. Agreed?"

"Yes," I said. We stared at each other silently for a moment or two. It was incredibly awkward.

"What if you transfer to SMU?" Phillip asked. "It's a much more secure campus, being a private school."

"SMU? But that's so expensive. Can we afford that and pay for our kid's college at the same time?"

"Terri is in grad school, and her degree is basically free. Pam is a finalist for a full ride to medical school, and Joey is going to the Naval Academy. Our college costs are minimal now. Plus, we make enough money now that we don't need to worry about any expenses."

That was reassuring. "What if we needed emergency funds for something? I mean, like, say we suddenly had to come up with twenty or thirty-thousand dollars."

"Not a problem."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Ok, then I'll start looking into SMU," I promised. Phillip sat down and tried to get amorous. "Honey, I have a horrible headache tonight."

"Want a massage?"

"No, I think I'm just going to sleep. I'm sorry." I had never denied Phillip sex like this before. I felt horrible, but sex was the last thing I needed. He came to bed an hour later and spooned up against my back. I pretended I was asleep until I heard his breathing change. I lay there the rest of the night, wrapped in a cocoon of fear.

The following Monday, I was waiting in the parking lot as Jesse walked up. He tried to be friendly, but I cut him off. I handed him a brown grocery bag with the cash in it.