All Comments on 'A Writer's Frustration'

i liked it.

thank you

I would have given 5 stars if there hadn't been so many grammar problems. Please keep writing but also proof read or get a good editor. Thanks.

@Robinius1 Dude your criticism is really well justified. I've gone back through and it makes me cringe. I'll tell you what my problem is though. Restraint. I get so excited that I have a story done that I just want to put it out there and have everyone read it. It's a problem that I have across all my writing. I promise you that my next couple of stories will be gone over with a fine tooth comb.

This was an excellent and entertaining way of picking up on your earlier story and the comments it received (i.a. by me). The meta-dimension made great fun.

But this story also, (as far as its plot could be considered independently from the pace of the earlier story), has a much too short road from sis' long time lack of perception of her brother in any sexual context initially, to traversing a solidly rooted taboo of society, and further to,,not only fantasizing about her younger brother, but actually lusting for him and actively plottng for a fulfillment of that lust and carrying it through. Really, that's quite some psychological stretch.cafe

Thanks for your kind words. In regards to the speedy nature of Katie's decision to sleep with her brother, I understand where you're coming from. But when I write, I like to go down the road of suspension of disbelief. We're already looking at the fantasy of siblings having sex so why not just roll with the lack of resistance.

My next big incest story is going to feature a pair of siblings in the midst of a sexual relationship, so we can cut down on all this messy to and fro.

I enjoyed this story and its predecessor, "Morning Shower Fun". You've succeeded in turning some well-founded criticisms of that earlier story, which was pretty good in spite of its flaws, into an even better story than the original.

But there are still some difficulties. For example, Aaron doesn't seem to play any meaningful role in the story, and we wonder why he's sneering at a woman he must hope to lay for fixing a good meal for him. Other than giving us an earlier unsupported statement that she thinks he's "slimy", you've given us no reason to believe he'd behave in this way. (Merely "checking out" a good-looking woman isn't "slimy"; all guys do that. In what ways was he offensive earlier?)

Some miscellaneous thoughts: a.) The dream sequence feels wrong; you've given us no reason to think he might be so forward (or so creepy) so suddenly or she so accepting of it. This makes it jarring. b.) The "sound of his quickening breath" can't be very familiar to her from what you've said about it earlier in the story. c.) You have some minor problems with writing "to" where you mean "too" and "of" where you mean "off", and you sometimes use the verb "to lay" where you should use the verb "to lie". d.) Yes, stories require suspension of disbelief. But there's such a thing as asking for too much of it.

Five stars, nevertheless.

Hey, great story. One of the best I've read in a long time. I just have one little detail that kind of bothered me, and I guess it doesn't really matter, bit thought I'd mention it as a fellow writer. At the beginning when his sister finds his stories she automatically assumes that he harbors some deep sexual desire for her, and as it turns out, he does. My things is, I'll ocassionally write an incest story in first person, but it's not autobiographical. In other words, I don't harbor secret desires for my sister. I guess it sounds like to me that you're implying that one must have such feelings in order to write about them. That's just me, and maybe because I write so much I over analyze things, but just my two cents.

Escalated too quickly