AAA+ Everything Box

I was amazed. "Wow!" ... "Uh, wait... this means I can get a bigger mattress!"

"As long as it's less than about $150. There's not much money there yet. And, we're all students, so there's not a lot of money to go on, at 5%, anyway."

"I need a more exclusive clientele."

We walked silently for a moment, and she said, "We need to go to Winnipeg. Find a ... Casino. Or, a country club, golf place."

"Casino? I'm... I don't know. Mob stuff? At least in the movies, it's a Bad Idea. I don't want to get anywhere near those guys."

"Oh. Yeah."

"But... a golf club? Sure - Let's do that, this weekend. I'll need a car."

"Kate could drive...?"

"Great. We'll leave in the morning Saturday, figure it out on the way. Or, you can do some research. Heck, let Kate figure it out, how to meet rich fat people who want to lose weight and don't mind paying to do it."

"Hair salons. Spas."

"What?"

"Spa treatments cost a lot, they make you feel great, I've heard. Rich women go to them."

"Excellent!"

We made plans for that, then I kissed her and rode my bike home.

Mom was there, working in the kitchen.

"Hey, Mom!"

She said hey back. She was making dinner, some spaghetti sauce with a lot of ... kale? Euuch! I wasn't sure I was going to like eating healthy food. Kale was seriously yucky, I'd had it before.

After we hugged, I told her I was going to Winnipeg on Saturday with Carol and Kate, some college thing Kate wanted to show me. This was also true, I wanted to do that, too.

"Just finish your homework, and drive safely."

"Okay." I turned and started walking upstairs, calling over my shoulder, "Oh, and a girl from my English class is coming over tonight, too. Lisa. She'll be here about 7."

"School night." It was a reminder, not an objection.

"Got it."

After homework, dinner, and some for-fun calc, I heard the doorbell so I went down -- not fast enough. Mom was opening the door.

"Hello, is this..." She saw me and smiled, "Oh, hi, yes, Kevin's house."

My mom opened the screen door to let her in, then stepped back. I introduced her and they shook hands, but then mom went back to the TV room and left me standing there with a half-open door. I closed it. Lisa looked nervous and more than a little confused, standing in the middle of the room, holding a bigger-than-normal backpack.

"So... What's up?"

"Listen, I ... I'm confused. I don't ..." she huffed a sigh and said, "Why am I here?"

I sat down on the front-room couch and motioned for her to sit on the ottoman across from me. The room wasn't big.

"You gave that, sort of, speech, and I remember thinking, 'oh, right, I ought to go over to his house, maybe, help him with his campaign.' Then, I thought, why? Why at his house? But, it seemed like the most logical thing to do, sort of."

Prompting her, I just said, "Yeah?" I was thinking, though, wow, I messed this up. I didn't give her a pretense for coming over! The phrasing must have been way off...

"Right after class, I saw Carol, right there in the hall. She's your girlfriend, right?"

"Sort of. It's kind of complicated." I didn't allow for questions, the way I said it.

"Anyway, I said, 'hey, I'm ... thinking of going over to Kevin's, and I think, maybe, I should check with you?' I was even confused then, but she just seemed to make it all so reasonable, like, 'yeah, tonight's a good night, yeah, so go on over about 7. You'll need to bring a change of clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush, maybe a robe if you want, any medicines you take, whatever. You know. Overnight stuff."

I nodded, getting it, and picturing Carol's efficiency. It was kind of cool to hear what she'd done.

"I asked her, 'won't you be there?', and she said, I remember her exact words, she said, 'oh, no, not tonight, uh. No. Schedules.' Then, she asked me some personal questions, like, who was I dating, and how often, and some... other stuff... that she wrote it down in her assignment notebook -- it was SOOO odd! -- she and I worked out a cover story for my mom since I live at home."

I nodded; I'd seen her in high school, she was a year older than me so we didn't interact much.

"SO, in this whole conversation, I'm listening to myself and her, like, talking about this, like it's no big deal! What I was doing? And, yet, then, as the conversation ended, I realized, yeah, this is like the right thing to do, on some profound level, it's ... important or something..."

There was nothing I could do but nod and listen. I would definitely have to revise what I'd told my English class so this same conversation didn't happen again.

"... So, yeah, I followed her directions, did the cover story thing, and came over here!? I'm going to spend the night at your house, I, like, know this? But... why am I here? Why did I lie to my parents and tell them I was at Carol's overnight?"

I realized she hadn't taken off her backpack and coat. "Uh, I have to send a text really quick. Why don't you hang up your coat...?"

As she did, I texted Carol, "Ping?" and then, "Need text 4 English class 2morrow re why sleeping over. Only girls. Also add to FIT must not harm me or you, + add must always tell u + me real truth. Sound good?"

She replied quickly, "Will do, np"

"Love you, will talk later," and a thumbs up.

It occurred to me that I wasn't sure if I'd told her I loved her that often .. and when? and, maybe that was a thing I'd better be sure of.

Lisa was back, sitting forward on the easy chair, now, knees together, hands clasped, kind of proper-looking. She was wearing jeans and a button-front blouse, her longish red hair tied in an offset pony tail that came around the front. She was very pretty, I thought.

Leaning back, I thought for a moment.

She just waited, quietly, but still confused.

I gave her a 'Pretty please,' and told her to always tell Carol and me the real truth, and to absolutely believe me tonight when I tell her I can do things even if those things seem impossible. If she understood, she was to respond with, 'yes, sir'. That's an order.'

She said, "Yes, Sir."

"I'm going to make you an offer, a trade. I'll describe what the trade is - what I would give you, and what you would give me in return. Then, you tell me if it's unequal or bad for you in any way, and if you'd like to do it or not, or if you would want different terms, to make it more fair. Make sense?"

This was something she understood, finally. Not that she knew where it was going. She didn't. She said, "Sure?"

"Your side would be, you get the following: long lifespan, healthy eating habits with no effort, great grades and strong chance of success your whole life long, and the kicker, minimal pain during pregnancy and childbirth, if that's what you decide to do."

Her eyes got big. I'd told her to absolutely believe I could do these things, so she was imagining what that'd be like. After a couple of moments and some sighing. She was obviously realizing the implications of this.

She said, "... And, what is your side? What do I have to do, or give up, or ...?"

"In return, you would give me 3 things, I'll get to those, but first, I want to make sure you know, this deal would be secret between us, you don't tell anyone, ever." (I was spit-balling this a little. I only had 2 things in mind, but I wanted a third idea and gave myself an out)

She nodded.

"One, whatever your disposable income is for the rest of your life, you give me 5% of it, mostly on a monthly basis. After tax, but before you pay mortgage, stuff like that. If you don't make any money for a month, you pay $5. If your husband makes money, then it's 2.5% of your combined income, same rules. You'll tell him it's for a scholarship you're endowing, but really, it's for me to spend how I please. Just say if you understand this idea."

"Sure. I understand." She was very matter of fact about it. This part didn't seem to worry her.

"Two. Especially for the next year, but possibly beyond that, you will do things with and for me, whatever small tasks I want done, mostly that won't interfere with the rest of your life, but that also includes sex with me and possibly just a few other people. Privately, and for fun, not anything ... porn, or anything. Understand this one?"

She thought about it for a second, considered it, and said, "Uh... Yes. How many other people?"

"Maybe like a group thing, like, two or three - with me there. I'll make sure nobody has an STD or anything. It's... kind of a dream of mine."

She smiled and rolled her eyes a little. "Uh... I understand." Taking a breath, she hesitated, and said, "And, the third?"

"Three." I had to think. I wondered what it was I wanted. She had red hair. That was cool. She was also reasonably smart, I remembered. She had four brothers, two older than her, one in my class (her last name was memorable, it wasn't hard to figure out). I wondered if any of them would beat me up for this. I'd have to intercept that idea. Meanwhile... What could I ask of her? What could possibly make her say no? I wanted to make it a hard thing, something in real life she might really say no to, or not.

The silence hung there. "Just a minute, I'm not quite sure how to phrase this."

Really, I'd had a worry since I figured out that I might eventually be a target, if someone found out about this stuff. Then, I'd never get to have a family or a normal life. And, here was the kicker - my mom would never be a grandmother. She'd mentioned, infrequently, that she would do this or that when I had kids, she'd babysit for me, and teach her grandchildren how to cook or finger paint or whatever.

If I died, without kids, she'd lose her entire bloodline, her family would end, and she'd be lonely for the rest of her life.

Suddenly, I knew how to phrase it.

"Three." I took a breath. "It's a big one."

She nodded.

"And, like I said, you can't tell anyone about this deal. I can even make it so you'll forget you made it, if you want. But... the third thing is... You would have to have a kid with me."

Her eyes got huge.

"My mom deserves to have grandkids. I'm not sure how to make that happen, and... I just... want to make sure of it. If you want something done, plan it and do it, right? So, I'm ... planning."

Her eyes were saucers, and I saw tears starting to form. Her breath was coming in gasps. "Uh... When would this be? Uh... wow... When?"

"Sometime in the next year, probably." I thought. "Really, as soon as possible. And, maybe as soon as ... it'd be safe to? I guess. Normal? I guess, pregnancy, and then, like, birth, and ... life goes on, you raise the kid. I can be there, maybe, for some of it. No pain, or, well, minimal pain, for you, I can help you with that. So, physically, not a very big deal, I think, just the whole, raising a child, unwed mother, yes. But, you'll still be a great student and have a successful life, and all those things. I can help make that happen."

Her eyes narrowed, considering this, even as she was now visibly crying. "How exactly, can you help?"

"Support systems. I'm going to have some money. And, I can have people help you. I could even help you find a husband, I think."

"But, not you."

"I'm ... not sure I'm qualified. I mean, I'm just... I don't know. I'm happy to help, but, I can't be there for you, all the time, I think you'd be better with someone devoted to just you."

Her voice got a critical tone to it, "You're going to be off having sex with groups of people, then."

"Maybe. I don't know what I'm going to do. I like you a lot, Lisa. You're a great person. I'm not trying to ruin your life. I'm trying to give you an option for a deal, one that's kind of epic because almost nobody gets this kind of deal. To know, pretty much for sure, that you're going to have a long, healthy life, and a good, fulfilling career? That's not something everyone gets. Certainly, not people from our Fine Community, I think."

As I said this, I thought about the people in town I knew who weren't quite qualified to be a gas station cashier.

Her cheeks were streaked with tears, but she was smiling and sad at the same time. "You have a way of -- forgive me for saying this, Kevin -- really fucking up a day."

I nodded. There wasn't much to say.

The TV went silent in the other room and I heard a pot clink in the sink. My mom's voice called out, probably because she thought I was upstairs. "Kevin! Dishes!"

Really, it was my night for dishes.

I called to her, "Be there in a minute, Mom."

Her face appeared around the corner, "Oh, you're in here. Okay." She looked at Lisa's face, I saw, and her eyes softened when she saw Lisa was crying. Mom was good about lots of things, but minding her own business was only partly one of them. "Lisa, dear." She disappeared and came back with a box of tissues, looking at me and saying, "Kevin. Your manners. Get the girl some tissues! Basic rules, now." She handed them to Lisa, "There you go."

As she turned to me, she bent over and kissed me on the top of the head, "Love you, son."

She went back through the kitchen to the TV room and I heard a show theme song start, some British series she'd started watching.

I turned back to Lisa.

She looked at me. "You can manipulate my mind. I know this. I'm... being manipulated now, aren't I?"

"Not about this question, this -- offer -- I'm making. This is really completely up to you."

"Would our child... be able to manipulate me? Like you?"

This was a question I hadn't thought about. "Uh... I don't know. Somehow, I doubt it, though."

"So why am I here tonight? Wait... you told everyone in class to do something, didn't you! Uh, and then... you told them to forget you'd said it, right?"

"Yes." I cleared my throat, and accepted that I'd done something kind of not good. "I was being selfish. I told all the girls in the class they were going to come and sleep here, spend the night with me, and to set up appointments to do it with Carol."

Lisa was surprised, "And, Carol's okay with this?... WAIT, you're controlling her, too, right?"

"Uh, sort of. Yes. But, I just... I love Carol. I told her that she should 'accept' me doing this, and, now, she is. But, long term, I think I like her a lot. I don't know. I'm kind of confused, a lot."

"There's a lot of power in that."

"And then some."

"You set this up so I would come over and have sex with you. So, what' stopping you from doing that? Why this conversation, if you could do all that, and just tell me to accept it, too, and you wouldn't have, you know, _THIS_ conversation?"

"Kind of ... I need -- I need to know what you think. You're smart. You're a good person. I like that. I respect... you, that, your, like, capability, and stuff? I wanted to know. If I gave you the actual choice, the good thing option, but with, say, some kind of price attached... I wanted to know what your choice would be."

"Who's to say I won't have a good life anyway? What if I'm already a great student and I eat right and work out and all that?"

"You might be. But, you won't be your whole life. I've SEEN people - sometimes life starts out good, but then... stuff happens. My Mom, for instance? She had a great life planned, and then, well - my dad isn't in the picture, she Never talks about him, or about high school, or much about her dreams, or anything. I think... Lots of people are probably like her."

She was getting that, considering, and pursed her lips, concerned. "Yeah, I get that."

"So, I can give you... consistency. Effortless assumptions that you like eating healthy and not splurging, and exercising, and that you'd like school and work, so it's fulfilling and not a chore."

She was still considering. "Handy - definitely..."

"I can give you that. It's a big thing. It's... decades of life you wouldn't otherwise have. It's, really, a big, happy family, a loving, capable husband, probably, I might help you with that if you want, up to you, depends... it's really big, and I want to know. What would you choose."

"Give me time to think."

"I'll do the dishes, then?"

"Why don't you make your mom do them?"

"It's my night. I'm not going to be a dick about it, she works harder than I do."

"Oh."

I got up and went into the kitchen.

After maybe a half hour I had the place looking much better. We had a dishwasher but it hadn't worked in as long as I remembered, and there was never money to fix it. Partly, I was waiting for Lisa to come in, so I kept cleaning.

The half hour stretched into a full hour, and she came in. Her cheeks were still streaked, "I decided."

I had stopped, so I leaned against the counter and looked at her.

She spoke quietly, glancing into the TV room, "Front room?"

We walked back in the front room and stood facing each other.

She said, "My mom and dad are really overweight. My aunts, uncles... cousins... Even my older brother. He was rail thin in high school; he's got a huge belly now." She paused, "I'd like to ask if you can make them healthy, too?"

I considered it, carefully. "Hmmm... I think I have to? Your mom cooks, right? If I didn't, she would keep feeding you unhealthy stuff." I interrupted my thought and said, "But! I need some money! I don't even have a car. And, lots of stuff in this house is broken, I can't fix it. I can't steal from people, and, it's -- it's the only way I know."

Her head tilted sideways. "You don't hesitate to rape women by making them go to bed with you, but you can't steal?"

"It's not rape."

"If they don't say yes without you making them, it's not their decision. You're roofie-ing them, however you're doing it."

"Can't say, about that part. They're happy about the situation, full knowledge, full approval. The difference is, instead of doing it with someone else, they're doing it with me. Plus, I give them long life in exchange. Might as well, it's just as easy."

"Oh, yeah, I figured that out."

"How do I know this is not some short-term thing and it's all going to go away?"

"You don't. But, if it stops working, you stop paying me the 5%."

"Still, I'd have your child. That's kind of a permanent thing."

I nodded. "I would support you, whatever the outcome."

She was quiet for a full minute. "You do the dishes."

There wasn't anything to say, so I stayed quiet.

"How do I know, really, this isn't some elaborate trick?"

"What's something you'd normally never, ever tell me? Your bank pin?"

"For sure."

"What's your bank pin?"

"____". As soon as she said it, she put her hand over her mouth, then nodded. She said, "Of course. I utterly trust you. So, of course, I told you. Huh."

"Tell me, what is your decision."

"I planned to tell you no, wait for your reaction, and then if I decide you're honest, I'll say yes, or if you're not, I'll ask you to tell me to leave. I don't think I can leave by myself." As she was saying this, she was realizing that this wasn't what she intended to tell me.

"You can't lie to me. I ordered you not to."

She shook her head sideways, appreciating, and echoed her previous comment, "Real power here. Wow."

"Am I honest? Am I really being honest with you? Are my intentions good?"

"How do I know? You've probably told me to think that."

"Nope. It's your decision, based on what you know about me. And, I've ordered you to be honest. If you don't know what you think, you've already told me. You were going to check if I was honest, and if I was, you were going to say yes. Now. Do you think I'm honest?"

She said it simply and straightforwardly. "Yes."

"I will help your family to be healthy, but I'll want the 5% from them, too. We'll add that to the deal if you want. Now. Do you want to think about this tonight some more, or what? What is your answer -- do you want this deal?"

Slowly, sighing, and holding her arms low to her sides and slightly outstretched, she said, "Yes."