All Comments on 'Above it All Ch. 00-01'

As always, intriguing start.

A good start to a story.

Evidently, this beginning has been quite dramatic with the death of Kyle's parents.

I think there has been a good development of the character, letting us know that he is a young man with his feet on the ground, a person more concerned about the loss of his parents than the inherited money, and with a clear vision of his professional future, not devoting himself to waste money.

We will see how this story unfolds.

At the moment, 5 * for you, in the hope that you will be in the same line.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Love the start, and really enjoyed that you have weaved this into one of my fav stories Georgie Girl......

Its good and nice tie but in, but I keep feeling like too many same basic themes over and over.

I recognize all of your Michigan references. Skied Caberfae Peaks many a time! Keep up the good work!

I read this previously on the other site and I am enjoying reading it a second time.

Nothing yet that explains the title. Nice development of the protagonist but no sign yet of the love of his life.

Bruce 22 his height explains the title, he's above them all. Looking forward to more.

I'm curious to see where we are headed.

If he went to Sacramento for the basics, intending to transfer to a school known for his major, what was wrong with UC Davis? No commute, no dorm, home cooked meals, and his own bed.

I hate to nit pick - who am I kidding, I love to nit pick!

Shannon is 2 years older, but he's going into his Junior year, but Shannon's only one year ahead, a Senior? Okay, that can be explained because she may have had to start school a year later based on her birth date. But Olivia is only entering her third year of college? She should at least be a Senior, if not already graduated!

I'm anal enough to have checked, until recently they could start Kindergarten by December 1 (It was recently changed to September 1) so unless his sisters were born in December, they would have started school two and six years ahead of him.

The biggie is our hero. He completes his Junior year, moves to California, and is going to be a Sophomore? I can see MAYBE having to repeat his Junior year in the California system, but to repeat his Sophomore year? And it's reported with no comment, like it's no big deal! Any high school student that I ever heard of would scream if he had finished his Junior year, then was told that instead of being a Senior he was going back to being a Sophomore!

They could start Kindergarten if they turned 5 by December 1!

since you have the best view to make critical choices. TK U MLJ LV NV

It's an interesting tale but biggest issue I've had with it is the needless repetition of information.

Not sure of any plot or long term reason for the story. Almost ok writing. Everything drifts along aimlessly, then jumps for no reason except maybe the writer forgot to mention it earlier.

Noticed mention in comments about another story. Should this have been read first, in which case it would have been nice to advise potential readers at the start. It might also explain the lack of being able to follow what story there was at times.

Ramble on...

Although many folk can't understand why you would waste time falling down the landfill known as Caberfae, We readers need to know if this story is actually going somewhere.

Does it have anything to do with skiing? Dow Chemical? Tall people? Folks from Midland or even rarer - Californians? Incest with a sister or two? gay coupling with your running coach?

Why write this story? How long till we get to the "romance of it, or was Midland the love of your life (I guess you need to know people from Midland, its just THAT exciting...)?

Gosh, what snippy comments considering this is a beginning chapter and we only see the beginnings of the plot and character development. Based on other of the writers work, I'm more than willing to read on.