Absinthe and the Schoolgirl

"I have never been here before." He said as he looked over to the huge mansion, looking towards the sky.

I moved closer to him, I think as long as I was close to Ross or even Pavani I would probably be okay. Even a call to Misty from one of the secluded bathrooms would probably make me feel better. I felt better with a plan.

Suddenly he grabbed me from behind and kissed my neck, I realized that was his favorite part of me. Not my breasts, my legs, my hair. No, it was my neck, a part of my body I couldn't femininize. Thank God I was blessed with a very unnoticeable Adam's apple. I wondered if he liked Jennifer's neck as much as mine, I wanted him to love my hair, my fingers, my legs, my voice, but I had no control. Whatever he loved, he loved. Whatever he wanted to rub against or kiss was going to have to be okay with me.

The Vasa's lived in a tremendous villa in Beverly Hills, it was beautiful. Ramesh and Pavani greeted us at the door. I gave Pavani a necklace, that Misty ordered for me. It was a holograph of the moon, it was the size of a Susan B. Anthony coin. Like anyone would even remember what that was.

"Oh my, it's so beautiful." She held it up and showed the woman next to her, it was quite a wonderful necklace. I always tried to make someone happy, I wanted everyone a little happier than me. "Did you know my name means Full Moon?"

I smiled, "I did."

There was one unknown thing about me. I knew too much. Too much of nothing. I was always reading, doing research, looking up things for the sake of looking up things. I had hundreds of words that I loved in a memo on my phone. That was part of my personality. I knew so much about music, movies, art, almost anything unimportant to others. I was a wonderful conversationist if I wasn't nervous or tense or quiet. I was a great party guest if I wasn't hiding in the bathroom. I was guessing wearing heels would make me even better at all of those things, or at the least, taller.

Soon we held beautiful glasses of Cabernet and we walked around the party. There was so much artwork on the walls and statues and figurines all over the stylish furniture. It took me forever to get into the main room, Ross was totally amused as I dragged him from wall to wall. I loved art and I especially loved someone's art in their homes, the things they themselves loved and saw every day. I felt like a pain in the ass moving from piece to piece but I was excited by the decor, the smell of the food, and the handsomeness of the guests. I'm sure everyone was wondering who invited this random 'woman' with the great heels and hot boyfriend, or maybe they weren't, maybe I was just in the way saying 'excuse me' too much.

Ross knew I was having a good time and introduced me to so many people he knew, he was amazed I remembered everyone's name. I also noticed how many glances I was getting in my dress. I felt both men and women were checking me out, inspecting my outfit. I originally felt I was showing too much skin, but looking at what the other women wore, I started to feel quite conservative. I would never doubt Chan again. I made Ross take a picture of us and I immediately sent it to them. I wanted them to see how nice we looked together. I just wrote 'Thank You, You Two.' and Misty wrote back 'Don't spill anything on that dress!'

I lost Ross for a couple of minutes and ended up talking to a couple of women with nicer dresses and jewelry than mine. Their hair was so beautiful I wanted to run my fingers through it, I wanted to stick my fingers through their earrings. But then surprisingly, they complimented my hair, and also my nails, and it made me so happy. I think they were genuine and it made me feel so good. I told them about the salon, and I said to use my name, "or maybe you betta' not." They both laughed. Chan's tip jar was going to be so full the next time I saw her... then I would hide it.

I walked around the party again. I was studying some sculptures on the piano, by someone that I didn't know. I asked one of the two women close to me to hold it up so I could take a picture of the signature. I told her I was too clumsy and smiled showing her my long nails. I was enjoying myself, I felt the slight air-con on my pantyhose legs. Suddenly someone held my waist, I felt a kiss on my neck again. Ross was back and I introduced him to the two women at the piano.

"Sabrina?"

I heard Pavani calling me so we made our way over.

"I want you to meet Meghan." We took each other's hands, she was as tall as me in her heels. "Meghan works at the gallery with me."

"I love it there, you are very lucky," I told her.

"And I heard you have our 'Strange Wine' print, I would love to see where you hung it up. I'm sure it changed the whole feel of the house."

I checked my thin watch, "Well we can go now, but the security men are surrounding it. We are going to have to peer over their shoulders." We giggled and we talked for quite a while, I was liking her very much. We both had so much experience in galleries and museums. I just wished I could tell her all my stories. All my stories from New York City when I was male. Even most of the ones from California were too. I would need to get more. I skipped the part where I worked in computers and hardware.

The Vasa's and Meghan told me the names and artists of all the artwork we passed that I didn't know, and we soon ended up one floor below surrounded by even more beautiful people, more paintings, more sculptures. Some I could probably tell a little tidbit of information on but I held it in, I was getting over-excited.

We were suddenly surrounded by more guests and Pavani made us sit at a beautiful Parisian-type bar. I loved sitting on a barstool crossing my legs, just like at the Hideaway. Little things like this made me very happy. My legs looked incredible, my heels very sexy showing the pink of my toes, the hem of the dress was so flattering. I had to stop myself from rubbing my silky legs with my long fingers.

I looked up, "Have you ever had Absinthe?" Ramesh held up a bottle as I shook my head, and read the label. Ross said he had it when he visited Europe. They poured a little bit into a glass and added a drop of water and a sugar cube. "Usually we put it in this decanter, but it is just as wonderful like this.

They passed out little glasses and we raised them. "Cheers."

I took a little sip. It was wonderful, it was bitter, and I felt it travel throughout my whole body. I felt quite warm and content. Pavani watched me as I took another sniff and another tentative sip. I felt like I was in another world. Whenever I tried something new, I put my entire attention and focus on it. Just like the beer from 'Over There,' I wanted an opinion ready just in case someone asked. In my head I always gave things a score of one to ten, I was always rating things, I have done this since I was young. I made the mistake of telling Lillian I did that, and she told me to go to a Psychiatrist, she thought I was crazy. Maybe I was, but I still have a great system.

The Absinthe was a nine. The party was off the scale. Lillian? Eh.

I felt Ross's arm around me and someone was talking to me, but I had my eyes closed, I was feeling the liqueur slide down my throat making its way through my body. I imagined I could follow its descent. I was enjoying this moment immensely. I needed to feel it go through my body, my new feminine body. I opened my eyes, my lashes fluttering.

"I am guessing you like it?"

I smiled, all four of them were watching me. I didn't say anything, my eyes went up and I made a very satisfied face. I was saving this look until Ross made love to me, but it was how I felt at that moment.

Ross kissed my cheek, "When Sabrina loves something she can get easily distracted."

We made our way back upstairs, the Vasa's about to move on to other guests. Soon a younger man walked over to talk to Pavani and Romesh while we were on the steps. "Sabrina this is my son, he has something to show you."

He went back downstairs and I followed leaving the others on the steps to their own devices and drinks.

"My mother tells me you will like this." We walked into his room, it was quiet, I felt a little funny having some of the guests see me entering her son's bedroom. I could imagine they were talking about me. He then pointed above his desk. "This is a Martín Ramírez sketch, it's from 1950."

"Wow," I looked up, it was quite amazing. I had only seen these before and ones similar to it on the web, it was probably untitled and it was of a train and tunnel. I had never seen a Ramírez in real life. "It's beautiful. Can I get closer?"

"Sure, here." He gave me a little stool and I kneeled on his desk. My silky knees knocking things over. I felt a little unstable in my heels but I had to have a more intimate look. The sketch was beautiful and it was original. I loved it, my heart was beating a little faster than usual, it was the exact type of art I loved. I studied, I spied the signature, I didn't want to leave, this party was turning into something else, something amazing. No one would ever know how much fun I was having, hidden in this dark bedroom. I told him a little history about the print, about a book I once read, and even a little about the author.

He laughed as he helped me down, "You are the only one to ask for a closer look, my parents gave it to me because I love trains. They tell me it's priceless."

"It is, but more importantly is that you love it. Anything you love is priceless. Remember that should always be the priority, money and color and history are second." I smiled at him and both of us laughed. "What the hell am I talking about?" I felt the alcohol running through my body. He smiled at me and he showed me a couple of other things he had hung up, even some of his own drawings.

We went back out into the hall with people again. "Wait, Miss Sabrina, before we go up let us have a quick drink. Have you seen our bar?" Once again I was sitting on a stool, making eye contact with others, my legs crossed enjoying a drink. I had something new with sugar and Champagne. Of course, it was wonderful.

"This is my favorite part of the entire house. This bar, surrounded by windows and artwork, is where I always do my homework. And the art surrounding us is all from my parents' hometown in India."

I looked around, the artwork was so interesting, I was so comfortable here. "It's nice, I want to get a book, take this drink, and lounge on that little couch. I would soak up the sun through the window and the ambiance of the artwork." I smiled and we finished our drinks, I could easily get comfortable and assimilate very quickly.

*

I found Ross talking to some women, they were all quite beautiful. It's crazy but I never felt like I was beautiful, or cute or even attractive. Standing next to a cis woman always made me feel inferior. Being with Misty and Chan made me feel slightly better, they were always giving me compliments and always told me I was doing fine. Now here I was at this party, a party filled with friends and acquaintances, and I felt quite good about myself. My hair looked so nice and I was wearing an expensive designer dress and heels, I could see some of my reflection in a far-off mirror. I looked like a regular party guest and I was now hanging onto the arms of a man with my long pink nails, one that I had recently kissed. I was quite content. Wait... It also could be from the alcohol swirling through my system.

I was now holding another glass of red. "Thank you," I told the man in the black jacket, or was it a sculpture? Was I talking to inanimate objects now?

There was a tap on my shoulder, a tall young man was talking to me. "Hi, Sabrina?"

I smiled, I squinted, I felt so popular all of a sudden. Both Ross and the women turned around. "That's me,"

"I was asked to show you my Polaroid collection."

"Another son?"

"Heheh I am."

I kissed Ross on the lips, right in front of the beautiful women. I drew my body into him, I put my ponytail into his face, and whispered, "I will be right back, don't you move." I wanted them to know he was mine, he was taken, I waved to them as I walked away. I followed the second son. Once again we went downstairs, passed the party-goers. Once again I was sneaking into a younger man's bedroom. I was hoping people were watching, gossiping about me this time.

I looked back to see who was talking about the sneaky blonde. 'Did you see that woman in pink? She was in and out of the boys' bedrooms the entire party. Well did you get a load of her legs in that dress? She is such a flirt, and I think I saw her with a man, an older man by the way. No way. Yes, way. Look she keeps on adjusting the top of that crazy frilly dress she has on.'

I was giggling to myself as I made a fanciful conversation in my head. Here I was in another bedroom. Here I was looking once again at a wall.

Once I focused on the subdued light I was pleasantly surprised. "Oh my God." I moved closer, there were about a dozen pictures. All people I recognized. I put down my wine and bag and moved closer. "Are these taken by Patti Smith?"

"Ha, yes they are, my mother said you would know."

It was crazy how the artwork and pictures in this house were just as special and incredible as in their gallery, maybe even better. I was mesmerized, I studied every single one. The son left me alone with the pictures, I imagined being there when they were being taken, being in the background at CBGB or the Factory. Waiting for Candy Darling and a cab on The Bowery, freezing in my strapless dress. I loved Polaroids as an art form, I loved the look, the intention, even the white frame surrounding the photo.

I was about halfway down the wall when I was handed another cocktail. "Sabrina this has egg whites in it. Is that okay?"

I turned around as I was handed a frothy drink. "Um, am I in heaven right now?" I smiled, I was very happy when someone made me something. "A drink and something to view, something to learn, ha." I sipped as we looked through the rest of the pictures and I told him the names of every one of the celebrities in them. New York in the seventies, that was my major, my shtick, my modus operandi. That was what I knew better than almost anything, even more than the Dillons or outsider art. That was my hometown, the old neighborhood.

I was enjoying the drink and the pictures but I felt I was spending too much time away from Ross, I was so missing holding onto a man. I wanted to go back upstairs and act like a girl. We downed our drinks and we went back upstairs. I had to stop and look at the glare of another picture to lick the froth off of my perfect pink lips. I then felt for my tongue with my fingers, it felt like it disappeared. The other son then deposited me back where we started. I was a little unsteady.

"Hi." I put my arms around Ross's neck and held on from the back. "Mmm," I then kissed him on the shoulder. I nuzzled into him, I think I could have taken a nap.

"Hey, I missed you." He turned around and kissed me, it was nice.

I looked at his lips. "Aww, aren't you so cute?" I touched his cheek. "You are a TEN, so stop being so nice to me already."

*

The rest of the party was wonderful, I think I ate, I know I had another red wine. I suddenly knew I couldn't stand. "Ross I don't feel so good."

He deposited me on the couch and told me he would be right back. I was leaning against a huge man. I looked at him "Are you another wall?"

"I am."

I squinted, he was slightly blurry. I sniffed, I felt his arm, his chest, his nose, I squeezed him, my long pink nails were a blur. "You are a wall that talks, I am a little scared." He put his arm around me, I felt better. Ross came back with Pavani and the two of them helped me up. I said goodbye to the wall.

"Pavani that wall needs a picture."

I ended up on a bed, it was so comfortable, I was so warm. I felt a blanket go over me, I felt my silky feet rub against each other. I panicked, I opened my eyes. I saw a blur. "MY PUMPS!"

I heard Ross laugh as he rummaged. "Here you are." I took them into my hand and put them under my chin, I must of had a very big smile on my face. "Ahh, thank you, Mister." I fell asleep, right away. I dreamt I was at a wonderful party, one that smelled of leather.

*

I woke up slowly, I still had the smell of my pumps to comfort me. I was in a pale blue room, pale blue comforter, pale blue glow from the sun. I got up. I had a slight pounding in the back of my eyes. I sat on the bed, there was a man on the floor, under another blanket. I dropped my pumps just missing him. Was I still at the party? It was Ross curled up on the floor, there was so much room on the bed. I felt bad that he probably had an uncomfortable night. I climbed over him and went into the bathroom. I looked at all the art on the way. More beautiful artwork, all were from album covers, all from the seventies, I had recognized every one of them. I had to force myself away from the prints and head into the bathroom before my bladder exploded.

The blonde in the mirror still looked pretty good. Her lips and eye makeup seemed to have survived the night.

My hair was still up in the pony and still looked perfect. I got undressed and jumped into the shower. I was feeling better. I couldn't believe I drank too much, I could drink people under the table, even over the table. I had tried so many different things last night, maybe I just wasn't used to it. I started feeling bad, I hoped I didn't ruin the party. I hoped I didn't make a scene. I could just imagine calling Misty and Chan. 'Hi I made a scene, but my dress is clean.'

I put back on my bra and panties and left off the corset and stockings. Thankfully the dress slipped on without them. I fixed my makeup and put on my pumps. I slipped on my watch, it was 10:00 AM. I didn't want to wake Ross, I glanced again at the artwork and then I quietly went out the door. I was downstairs near the sons' bedrooms, it was quiet. I saw the perfect spot, the day bed next to the bar, and wished I could live there. I next tried to quietly make it up the stairs, a woman saw me and took my hand. She led me into the kitchen, I think she was my fairy godmother because she gave me coffee.

"Good morning." I turned around it was Pavani. "Are you going to another party?" She smiled looking at my dress, she didn't seem upset with me. Maybe I DIDN'T make a scene.

"Good morning, I'm sorry about last night."

"What? Sorry you had such a great time, sorry you met so many people, or sorry you made my sons very, very happy, having a beautiful woman enter their bedrooms."

"Um, all three?"

"Ha, don't be silly. There are a couple of stragglers somewhere in the house. I just said goodbye to two of them." Pavani left and came back with a long black shirt and put it around me. I went into another bathroom and changed. I was going to miss my pink dress but now I looked ready for a Sunday morning, still in my heels.

The kitchen was slowly filling up with people. Romesh, the two sons, and another two people saying goodbye and thank you.

Pavani watched me as I poured another coffee. "See you weren't the only one staying the night."

"I'm surprised, usually I can easily handle my liquor. Actually, I now work in a bar, I'm quite a professional." I giggled.

"I'm sorry Sabrina, we shouldn't have had that Absinthe drink." One of the sons said.

"Really? I made her an Absinthe sour." The other one told us.

Pavani got up and looked into my eyes. "Wait so you had three glasses of Absinthe. Stick out your tongue." I did. "No wonder you were knocked out. Boys tell her you are sorry for getting her loopy."

They did, but I didn't care, "All the drinks were so good. I just loved the frothy one. I lost all feeling on my tongue after that." I giggled.