All Comments on 'Action, Reaction and Consequences Ch. 08'

The last two parts are completes and being tidied up before submission in a few day's time

INKENT

Meh. Tammi is a fucking nutcase. What does she have to offer any relationship? And Sandra’s rape was unnecessary. Her reaction to Matt was just as puzzling, why was she mad at him? He didn’t drug or rape her and no drug in the world is going to make a woman horny for cock otherwise you would sell it at pharmacies and make billions.

OMG any more secret service crap ????? I think you just got an over load that YOU are as good as Saddle tramp in story telling (jaybee186)

Not sure if I even like this story, but I can't stop reading. Looking forward to the conclusion.

Great story! Packed with intrigue, action and betrayal!

It seems s little all over the place.

Wow, Matt was a complete fuckup in this chapter. Was there anything he did right? Mickey joined Lucas in being a full on cartoon villain. VR torture, really? So why isn't the government using one of this world's many magical drugs to find this MacGuffin disk? Tammi and Lucas would have had plenty of opportunity at this point.

Hey, nice writing as usual. It’s going a bit too much in all directions for my taste, but well done. I doubt they’ll be back together, now, but honestly, Smith, Jones and Mickey must die… well see…

Well, if Mickey did manage to kill Matt it would serve Tanya right by having the kid be Mickey's. She really doesn't deserve to have anything to remind her of Matt.

Looking forward to how you wrap this up

Story is becoming incoherent.

So far fetched!!!

Great story ...just put it together beautifully in end.

This story has descended into puerile nonsense now. Just wish the author would be honest and admit he wrote a story so he could live out his rape fantasies as that's the recurring theme throughout the whole story.

It's not particularly well written, some of the events don't make sense, and overall it's just not a compelling story. It seems to be more of a power trip than anything else. Reminds me of a lot of chinese web novel stories really.

Difficult to see at least one single likable character in this multi part tale. That makes the entire story less interesting to follow, even if filled with twisting and hard action.

Matt sure fucks up and gets his as drugged and beat an awful lot. You would think he would have back up before using an innocent women in his plans. He just never sees it coming. Hopefully this gets someplace soon. Enjoy the story, but it's starting to drag on.

I really hope Mickey, Jones, and all the bad guys get true comeuppance. I have to admit, I started off hating Matt due to the role he played in the first chapter. Despite all that's happened until this point, I STILL didn't really feel too bad for him. But now, even I can say, the man's had enough! He's been violated continually. Both physically and emotionally. He's lost every woman he's loved. And lost them in horrible ways. The humiliation he's suffered is at this point hard to watch. This is literally too much! PLEASE let him actually win in life soon!

And while I do believe the bad guys will go down in the end, please let it be clear to them that MATT is the one who caused it. Or that he at least played a major part.

You've finally convinced me to truly root for Matt. Definitely not an easy thing to do!

Regarding Tanya, I almost don't know what to feel. I'm normally a romantic and a reconciliation person. I was in this story as well, UNTIL Tanya let Matt be drugged the first time, forced him to dissolve their marriage, and RAPED him, all so she could "succeed" at work. Still, I held out a small amount of hope that things could work out for them. But then, all of the body modifications and possibly having Mickey's child made that basically impossible to imagine. AND THEN we get to everything she's done in this chapter. WOW!

Yes, she probably is mentally ill, and usually that would be enough for me to hope they could get back together, once she receives the help she needs. But her behavior has been SO egregious that it remains very difficult for me to see happening. No matter how much I would normally want that. I guess if it can be shown that she wasn't actually responsible for her actions, maybe. But it's a VERY hard sell. We will see.

Thanks for the great story! You have a unique and engaging style. Really hoping we will see the final parts VERY soon! :)

Plot is thickening, and "grande finale" gets closer and closer.......

Seems that Tammi's ability to f.ck up Matt's life is directly proportional to her delusions :( I've got a bad idea that unless this story ends with Tammi's six feet below or in closed ward, Matt will never be able to free himself of her. And not to mention her supposed pregnancy - if that's true and Matt is "a lucky guy", then his chances of freedom drops dramatically......

Pity about Sandra - forgive my my words, but she was truly a "collateral damage" in this chapter :(

Double pity that Jones survived without any serious injuries - don't know if this was result of little time or MC's lack of knowledge about human anatomy. Hopefully next parts will repair this shortcoming, with added doses of physical pain for mentioned rogue agent. And should Smith survive he must face full backslash for recruiting such psycho.

I should give this part 2 stars at most for leaving readers in such uncertainty in the end. But given that despite all plot holes and inconsistences I can't help but await for next part, let's leave with 4*.

Doing better on this one.

On the edge of my seat! 5 stars!

You are a good writer but I can't say I liked where this fork of the story has gone.

Your first part was unrelated to the subsequent main story.

I am still looking for the story of Lance & Ann.

I know, it's another track altogether but do consider an offshoot of this story.

That track had more angst and juice.

Regards.

Mightyheart -Your wish is my command! Parts 9 and 10 are going through final edit and polish should be submitted by the end of the week. You may feel part one was unrelated but it was there to set the seed for the ending. It did drop a breadcrumb a few chapters back when Matt apologised to Lance. INKENT

I like your writing but I couldnt read a lot of parts. To me, this tale may or may not have been interesting to some who like abuse of power and violence but by part 7 (or maybe it was 6 or even earlier) i lost interest as it became darker and darker and thus over-ride the point of the story.

I thought that this tale was supposed to be about the breakdown of the relationship of a loving husband and wife. However by time of the before mentioned parts that relationship was dead in the typical style of LW and rightfully so. (Wife breaks promises to Husband and goes her own selfish way regardless of his feelings)

We know what the wife was advised by the grandmother early on in the story, that to make sure she made the 'right' decision and she crossed the line of making the right decision big style and that was that. The airport scene was poignant and should have led to an end of the story as he closed down the life he knew and emigrated to another country where his ex couldnt find him. But wait a minute he decides to go to East London a couple of hours up.the road and just to make it hard to be found he stays in the fire service. We cut away for more darkness.

I couldnt read anymore and fast forwarded to the end. Do I take it that all the good guys were murdered, who knows? I expect that the wife will be found dead in a brothel somewhere faraway.

If you write another part I'll check it out but really I think.that you backed yourself into a corner of disinterest due to the overload of 'dark" from which there was no way back.

If Matt is still alive his best bet would be to disappear to somewhere more civilised, maybe Afghanistan or Ukraine would be safer. 😞😓

You r truly a whack job!

She rapes him again? REALLY? Quite a strench to explain the pregnancy. You should have plotted that story line better. Again with the secret agent nonsense. More unecessary complications to what started out as a very good multistory plot lines.

You will get there eventually, just keep trying with what I believe will be a lot more stories to come. You are trying to hard.

This has surpassed the point of absurdity. Just finish the story. At this point, no one cares how it ends, just wrap it up.

Can't lie. I almost didn't bother reading this because too much time passed and this story has really dragged on. The only small portion of this chapter that was worth the effort to read was Matt's retaliation on 'Jones'. Matt owes MAJOR HURT to Smith, Jones, Mickey, Tammi, and a number of Mickey's henchmen. I don't imply a one time slap. I mean hard pain and suffering! Enough to make them feel real fear on numerous occasions. Matt is a fireman and he understands the mechanics of it, he needs to put that to use! Matt needs to break more bones! Matt needs to cut some deep cuts. Matt needs to forget his conscience in his work locker at the fire station. I am sick of the entitled, can't touch me crap from Mickey, Smith, and Jones. Tammi needs a long term stay in a sanatorium.

So just how much more of this long winded dog and pony show is there?

Oh,... If you're planning on bringing Ann back into this sh!t show at the end of days...please tell us you're not. Allow Ann the dignity of getting free of all of this crap life story.

This is a meandering mess. Way too complicated. Way too many characters and characters ay too silly. Just not a believable story at all. Just a big mess.

So with his injuries, do we get to see Tam have a psychological break from the Tammy personality? 2guns can not help but brag about it. Once the split occurs, do we get to see her switch between the 2 personalities while she is still undercover? Ann takes care of him while he recovers from his extensive injuries. They start up their relationship again unless she is once again married? They ultimately take care of the soon to be orphan as Tammy will pass away just after getting the secret & child out. Dropped off by Mr Smith.

I really enjoyed the beginning of this tale. It had drama, romance, sex and relatable characters in Matt, Ann, even Lance and then Tanya. So far so good but it all started to go wrong with the undercover operation. Once the police were hindered (by the "good" guys) in rescuing Tanya, the wheels came off. You ditched or sidelined your best characters (Matt, Ann, Tanya) and started a spy caper with cookie cutter characters that are not credible, relatable or interesting (Smith, Jones, Mickey and Tammy). At this stage it's all a bit of a mess and I can't see how your are going to rescue the story or bring closure/redemption to your characters.

I appreciate the effort, enjoyed the start, will read the end out of curiosity, but, sorry, it has all gone wrong.

I am the reader who prefer the darker genre story ( actually I accidentally come upon this chapter first and then start from first chapter ). I enjoy the series though . I feel that this chapter actually should not be under the loving wife category as it won’t be appealing to the reader who want to read this genre . In fact the later chapters should start as a different story title / series of different genre but mark as sequel . So the reader who want a darker side would have found your story ( I almost skip it when I see the category ) and reader of previous chapters would know the story direction is changing. I think it would have fare much better this way . Anyway looking forward to the ending . Hope it come soon !

Hoping it continues. At times character identity is confusing. Did Matt survive? Will the perps be jailed or eliminated? Hope it doesn't take a month for the next episode.

JTT006 , Next part (nine) was submitted yesterday, tidying final part (10) with Editor so hopefully going up at some point mid week

The first & 2nd chapters belong here but the rest of the chapters belong under BDSM (with respect to power games everyone is playing) or novellas as per the descriptions in those 2 categories. This is not about loving partners, it is more a spy story who happened to have been spouses.Not the same. Get your categories straight.

Anonymous, appreciate your feedback, I had numerous comments, plus messages about people losing the story because I published it in different categories at the start and should stick to one category that's best suited. Whatever way I publish my work, someone gets the jack somewhere :) Shame Lit doesn't allow the opportunity to publish multi-group. Of course, I could argue, it's a married woman putting out to another man, maybe not in a "traditional" Lit. LW story but that's the beauty of story writing/reading. Everybody interprets stuff differently, would be a boring world if we all liked/hated the exact same things. INKENT

It's looking more and more like a cuckold story. There is no reason to focus the story on Tanya unless the author intends to make Matt accept the slut back.

Two Parts left to go...

...4 stars again for this part.

On to Part 9 !

I do not get it. You have the character threaten to walk in the operation. After the virtual session and 4th month of pregnancy and no further idea of where the usb drive is, why would she not have carried through?