All Comments on 'Action, Reaction and Consequences Ch. 10'

I like the ending, great story overall!

Hi, just finished reading. It was a bit unsettling for many reasons you quoted. You’re the author, so it’s your story. In the end, it came up as a bit « over the top » but that’s only my personal evaluation. It was well written, the pace was good. Sad for Tanya and Matt, they had issues, but it could have ended differently… But that’s your story. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks Nasty56, I hope you feel that the end panned out in an acceptable manner .INKENT

QBikk, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. This was dark, but I hope the ray of light at the end was a little uplifting. I'll leave the dark stuff alone, at least for a while.

Next story "April's fool, not bloody likely!" Should be submitted by weekend INKENT

I loved the ending

Sad for Tanya but she got her pound of flesh.

I’m honored to have been along for the journey!

Keep up the good work

Frankfiredawg06, thanks for syaing for the journey, appreciate the input and comments INKENT

Awesome Journey. A rollercoaster very enjoyable. The ending is perfect.

Really enjoyed the series and how you ended it. Glad it ended how it did. Overall it was quite an entertaining ride. I enjoyed reading the various reactions throughout the series. You had passionate responses on all sides and, to me, that makes it a good story. Looking forward to your next submissions

TexasBB, devtec thanks for sticking the journey out, hope it felt worthwhile. Personally, I feel its helped me grow as a writer, I enjoy the feedback (bar the off topics rants) and I even took stock of some suggestions thinking "that's better than I had planned!" so incorporated those suggestions.

One thing I learnt was I severely u derestimated the time required to write this, especially when something didn't look right and I needed to rethink.

Next story being submitted this evening. Its short, and not dark!

Good ending to an entertaining series. There were a few things that were a bit too far for me to buy into, but overall a good read. Final series score - 4.4*

Demosthenes384bc, thanks for comments. It's always going to be a fine tightrope to walk as to how I expect people to react. Yes, the first part, maybe happening in reality, possibly. After that we slide into real fiction and, depending on the reader's threshold for levels of fiction, and how close they want it to be to reality, will determine how they want to take it.

Hopefully the next batch of stuff will give a nice mix of stuff to keep reader's entertained. INKENT

An editor would be able to help with sentence structure and overuse of commas.

Hi Inkent I'm also in Kent . Thank you for a great story. I know Farthing Corner and Dover . I look forward to your next work

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Nice short finish.

Onegoodeye - lookout for some more "local" stuff in the future. Want to pick some places you'd like to see pop up ? :)

6King - Thanks for the commentary along the way and sticking with me, was quite a journey!

How about Faversham football ground ,Rochester Castle or Canterbury cricket

Some parts were great, and some were unbearable. The self destructive ignorance in the name of career advancement was over the top, a lot. It was worth the read.

The ending in chapter 2 threw me. I somehow expected Tan's prediction to be the final outcome. That did not turn out to be the case. Thank you for an enjoyable read these many weeks.

felt you rushed the ending and wasn't a good story at all

Thank you so much Inkent for your time & effort! For me this is exactly spot on with the outcome i had hoped. Mr & Mrs Smith got theirs, and the PM got his just deserts too. Looking forward to your additional work. Me personally i loved it and for that 5* 👍

Recent comments in the press indicate she would have likely had no problem joining the police force in this country. I did enjoy your story. Wasn't sure how it was going to end but had no doubt it was not going to be how Tanya initially thought. Look forward to reading your work in the future.

Thumbs down

What happened ?? Whose child survived ??

Matt or Mickey 's ??

This is the ultimate cvck story

Overall a good story. I enjoyed reading it, though it was getting a bit crazy and tested even my ability of “suspension of disbelief.” I was disappointed with the ending though. I was hoping for one more confrontation between Matt & Tonya. I would have also like to see a scene where Tanya was told that Matt fathered one of the babies, and she’s static that she will have one piece of Matt to hold onto, or be able to use that knowledge to win him back with the family he wanted….only to be devastated to learn that Matt’s baby way to one to die while Mickey’s lived. Please keep writing, I look forward to your next long story.

Just to let you know, I am one of your bonuses. Thank for taking the time to enjoy yourself, and the one or two others.

Enjoyed the story but thought Matt should have stayed home and have others do his business, since he always got his ass handed to him and got others hurt or killed. It's not a big deal, but I would have liked to have seen a final face to face between Matt and Tanya. Maybe she goes through having her tattoos removed and the original one replaced and after talking it out, she ends things by drugging him and having a final sex romp, like when she got pregnant, leaving a video and tattoo similar to hers, before they move on to their separate lives. When the drugs wear off he asks, "was it a dream, is she dead?" The very private video and tattoo says NO!

As a fan of some really crazy action movies where you know things in real life would never compare, I liked this. It was not really LW category to me in a way but I get it. I am glad you had Tanya dead so he could move on. No way to reconcile after what occurred IMO and no sense in any kind of BTB would work for me. So having her death faked and him move on works.

WOW, can't believe that after reading ch01 that you somehow after all the shit that went on thru 8 wild subsequent chapters,

Matt and Ann are together again making lot's of babies. What an unbelievable journey you took the readers through-I remember

reading ch01 thinking-lot's of sex, rules of conduct not being adhered to, another intriguing cheater story-how is this going to end-

well no way did I imagine I would be reading your 9 chapter saga. Well executed, kept my interest even thru waiting a month for

the next part.

I wanted to experience the sadistic revenge on Mr Jones and Mickey, never got satisfaction from their demise, I wanted to enjoy

some painful payback of these 2 characters. Just watch a Liam Neeson movie-doesn't matter which one-they are all the same movie

He always dishes out very satisfying painful revenge. I love that stuff-you know where you don't have to think a lot...

Did Tanya have all her tattoos removed?

I'm a Canadian part of the commonwealth-but not understanding all that royalty, king and queen, prince,princess-what exactly do

those titles mean???

Looking forward to reading your future scribblings....

So what was your original ending that got pooh poohed by one of your editors-c'mon share it with us as a reward for sticking with

you and your 9 chapter story.

Thx for your effort and time!!!

Dario

Nice ending for actually good story. While road was long and hard, and everyone lost something, one could say that MCs got somewhat happy endings. Well, Matt at least. While Tanya - with such character and after what she'd been through and what she lost, I've got a feeling that her subordinates will quickly miss Smith ;)

While this part could be a bit longer, with more dialogues, I'll give 4*

I only read one and two but I didn't like the direction it was going so I stopped especially I found out Matt was the despicable snake who destroyed Lance & Anne's marriage. And I really dislike Anne so much I just dumbfounded why a lot of readers want to give Anne soace in the story. I don'r like Matt too but he is essential in the series so ok he suffered anyways. Tanya is reaĺy quite a connundrum. A woman who knows how to love someone yet will sacrifice that someone to achieve her ambition. I nean really the good book soeaks the truth -- one cannot love two masters either he hate one and love the other. So Tanya truly is a woman in denial, trying to hold on the pretense that she is a normal romantic, loving person in fact she's a psychopath.

Maybe I will read the whole series -- someday...

This story reminds me of an old British TV show called "The Carpetbaggers". Was that one of your influences in this story?

I pictured this Mickey villain as the fat Berlin thug in John Wick 4. You wrapped it up very well, no loose ends. How about completing the story you've apparently pulled? I think it went like "I've confessed, and now what?".

Yep, Anonymous "I've confessed, and now what?" will resurface, bit of alteration but the WHOLE story, not the first part. Have a few others on the go first.

As for Tanya & Matt? May bring them back late in the year. Silly bitch is likely to stop taking those pills that keeps her sane...

The original ending? I was going to have her die at the shooting @ end of Chapter 9. It was all kind of abrupt an ending before it headed into the last part, and more than one person said those reading it may feel cheated by "killing her off" rather than the torture she has to now endure. INKENT

No nit picking here…it was a thoroughly enjoyable read. Thanks for your characters and their development and the twists and turns in your plot. Thanks for your word smithing excellence. Loved it!

A good series. The ending certainly wrapped up all the loose ends. As I read about one of Tanya’s babies surviving, I expected it to be Matt’s. Then I wondered whether they’d place the child with Matt; or if Tanya had the decency to be its mother under a new identity. That child growing up and having a DNA test performed would lead back to Matt…. Much cleaner having Mickey’s spawn survive.

I know this is a stupid question, but what of the 9 bottles of wine they picked up on their honeymoon in chapter 2? They would have had 6 left. Who has them and what was done with them? Possible hook for your follow up story you implied would come later this year?

WOW tremendous the way you tied up all the ends I was not sure how you would manage it halfway thru the story BUT well down I was a truly great and absorbing read (jaybee186)

Nicely all wrapped up with a bow on top…….

Good story had to breathe deep a few times with Mr Smith and his associate but then it’s only a story….right

Totally felt for Matt…..collateral damage

The bottles of wine, yes. As you can imagine, I had copious notes to guide me, somewhere down the way, I crossed through the note regarding the wine. If I do visit this later, I have a way to bring them "back into play". Thanks Anon, you've planted a really nice seed!! INKENT

I'm an amateur writer, I do it for my enjoyment, and if one or two of you gain some enjoyment from my work then that's a bonus.

Thank you as I am part of your bonus. I can't wait to read more of your enjoyment.

xtc5, I'm grateful for you taking the time to comment and you the fact you stayed for the entire ride. It kinda feels like a privilege that I'm having people take time to read the output of what's simply become an enjoyable hobby. I hope to throw a real mixed bag of works out there, hopefully it works and keeps people entertained. Last thing I want to do is start offering refunds :) INKENT

Honestly, I hate to admit it, but I was absolutely unable to get past chapter 6. Unlike me, actually. It was just too disturbing, too depressing, too frustrating. I just got sick and tired of the pain. Just not fun.

i waited till the end. What a waste of time.

ejsathome, thanks for sharing, in hindsight I wish I had made a comment in the opening chapter that it was part of an extremely dark tale, something I'll bear in mind for future stories. I hope you find some material more suited to your taste. INKENT

Anonymous "i waited till the end. What a waste of time." Not a problem, each to their own, horses for courses, etc. Plenty of other material out there, hopefully somewhere, stuff you'll enjoy. INKENT

Convoluted tale. Two stars.

As she achieved her goal to be the best at her job, she traded away the wish to be a mother of 4 kids with Matt. Now she has a spine and some teeth, there is so much fun you can have with her and so many directions to wander off into. I am thinking of what TODD172 has done with his multicharacter universe. Since you have been around so long, hopefully you have checked out his stories. These 10 chapters remind me of his work.

Thanks Anonymous, despite being around on Lit for a long time, I've not come across TODD172, I'll definitely go check his work out. Thanks for the tip. INKENT

I liked this story, one helluva lot of action, twists, and turns.

Luckily, I found and started reading it just a few days ago, so by the time the final chapter was published, I was finishing up the story and never had to wait between chapters like some other readers. One of the prices to pay for free stories, I guess.

Good character development, this reader doesn't have to like a character to appreciate the effort of the author. Unlike some others, I don't mind dark scenes, of which there were many in this tale.

In the future it would be interesting for Tanya, Matt, and Ann to cross paths somehow.

Five stars!

Going to give this Part a score of 4 stars, and the same for the series overall. For as much as I know a lot of time went into creating and writing the story, I think there were some points that just chipped a star off, like having Matt study Krav Maga ( not Magna) but not using it in situations where he should have, or using the babies by different fathers ploy, used previously in an excellent tale by Vandemonium1 with, IMHO, a bit more credibility in its use.

Don't misunderstand... as a newer author, writing a multi-part series like this is certainly an achievement of note, and I am looking forward to more of your work, as I honestly think you have solid talent & creativity that will lead to more well-thought and well-written stories in the future.

This was a fun - even if a bit long - story to read, and I thank you for writing it.

After reading through for the 2nd time to see what I missed the first time, I finally clued into an obscure fact in the story line. By signing the contract, the government wiped out the marriage and turned Mat into Tanya's pimp! He got paid for his ex wife to have sex with others, the very definition of a pimp. She was not even a high end working girl. Each quarter he rec'd $50K, so that worked out to $555.55 pounds/day. To top it off, the final pmt of $12 million pounds was payment for future lost earnings.(personal injury lawyers will understand that reference). I know this is a twisted view of the story line but my perception of reality see things and links that others do not. Example:the wine bottles.

Now I understand why she had her revenge. Once she was placed in charge of this shadow group, she would have access to the records and see exactly how she was a throw away operative. Her old boss, Graham, told her the truth and she can read on how they played her before and during the operation.

A little hic up with the time line. They told her it would only be for approximately a year but she was under cover for 16 months. Before undertaking this job she agreed to this timeline and then return to her husband. When she threatened to walk, she was close to that deadline.Why would she not have kept her word? Specially when the pregnancy was confirmedl? Originally it was strictly an intelligence operation and that is where the 12 month limit came in.

Compared to the preceeding 9 chapters, this ending did not have the flow or completeness that most of them did. This 'felt' rushed and somehow incomplete. I am sorry I can not articulate exactly I am trying to say. The description and words are elusive. Good effort for multi chapter storyline. Looking forward to your future contributions on this site.

I enjoyed the story very much. To quote another author here on literotica, I forgot his pen name.

“A good story has you shouting at your computer”. I felt that way in this story. An author creates, others read and extract enjoyment, frustration, passion, confusion, intrigue and other stimuli from reading someone else’s imagination. Eva Greens character comes to mind from “Casino Royale” as Tanya/Tammi developed. Although not the same a similar love and reluctant betrayal occurred.

I always enjoy a positive outcome between characters as they emerge triumphant from the tumultuous relationships, but, it cannot always be the case.

All of the characters had darkness, made decisions with poor relationship judgement, however, chemistry, passion and circumstances create the environment for exactly such occurrences.

I say bravo and look forward to another novella from “Inkent”

Gross. Ten chapters of emotional torture porn.