Adam and Steve Ch. 05

Adam paused for a second. "Will you let me explain now, Steve?"

"Adam if you said nothing went on then it is enough for me." Steve wasn't truthful but he did miss Adam so much he would take it as an answer right now.

"NO!" Adam responded. "You are going to hear me out." Adam was getting pissed at Steve for just wanting to forget the issue so easily. He stood up and walked into the kitchen, Steve followed him. "I love you and you don't realize how much."

"But you didn't tell me you met up with Ben."

"No, I didn't." Adam looked down, he knew he was wrong for not telling. "I'm not using this as an excuse but you did piss me off the day before, and I was going to tell you at dinner that night. He called that afternoon and asked if I could meet him in Santa Barbara for lunch. He didn't say anything else on the phone other than where and when."

"Okay." Steve could see Adam was seriously upset, he had never seen this level before in Adam.

"Yes, from a distance, what Teddy and Jeff saw could be seen as me cheating. If I didn't love you so much Steve, I could've given into Ben. He wanted me back, it is why he asked me to meet him. He moved out of my apartment and got a job transfer." Steve's eyes widen a little. "Thank God there is only a few more months left on the lease, he offered to pay it but he stated he was already strapped. He was living out of a motel up there and was thinking about asking his sister if he could move in with her for a few months until he could find something." Adam looked at Steve. "Go ahead and ask your question."

"If he moved out and transferred jobs, how did he think you were going to be with him?" Steve asked.

"He was hoping I would move between mine and his work."

"And you said, from afar it could've been seen as cheating?" Steve questioned.

"Yes, Ben was touching me alot." Adam looked at Steve and could see the questions rising. "Let's go back into the living room and sit down." Adam motioned toward the living room as Steve turned to head towards the living room, Adam doesn't know why he did it, he put his hand in the small of Steve's back to guide him and Steve pushed it away. They sat down at opposite ends of the couch, Adam took a deep breath and began. "Ben would caress my face and I would take his hand away. I would hold it in mine to basically stop him from doing it, after awhile I would let go, forget and he would try again."

"Why didn't you just tell him, no."

"I tried Steve. I told him, I didn't like that he was trying. Steve he was desperate, he was trying anything to get me back. I know letting him continue was wrong, I should have put a stop to it. Can I say it didn't feel nice, no, Steve, I can't. But, I would stop him everytime he would try to make an advance." Adam looked at Steve, Adam knew he pissed Steve off but he wanted to tell him the truth and what all had happened. "I asked Ben, to work on finding someone new which we weren't a good match for one another. I did hug and kiss him goodbye. The kiss wasn't just a peck on the cheek it was on the lips and before we parted Ben handed me the keys to the apartment telling me everything was out. I don't know if the boys followed me, but I did go to the apartment. Ben was telling the truth everything was out, I just have to move the rest of my things."

"Did Ben follow you? And what do you have left in the apartment?" Steve didn't know what to ask, he couldn't believe what he was just told. His heart was beating fast, Steve knew Adam will always love Ben, but he didn't think Ben would try to tempt Adam, to steal him away.

"No, Ben didn't follow me. Basically all the furniture was mine and the bed and a few things I forgot in my storage unit in the basement. So I will have to move them out before the end of the lease."

"Was this the only time you have met up with him without me knowing?"

Adam closed his eyes he knew Steve would not like the next answer. "No."

"Have you fucked him?"

"GOD NO!"

"What have you done?"

"Just a couple of times this summer I guess it has been before his transfer he asked to meet for lunch. He didn't even tell me he put in for the transfer until this last time. All we've been doing is talking, about the old days. I guess it's why this came up." Adam looked at Steve he didn't look convinced. "Steve I swear to you, I love you. I didn't realize I was leading Ben on or he was going to ask me to come and be with him. I was honestly hoping to hide the fact that I was going to be broke for the next six months and move everything out of the apartment."

"And not tell me anything about what happened?"

"It's getting me in more terrible than I want to be, so yeah." Adam kind of frowned. "Steve I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you are in hot water." Steve got up from the couch and Adam stood as well. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Steve please, don't go yet." Adam reached for Steve's hand and Steve backed away.

"Adam, it's better if you let me walk out tonight and we talk tomorrow." Adam stepped out of the way and Steve walked out the door, not turning around.

*****

Football practice on Friday wasn't intense at all to Teddy and Jeff, it was like Adam's heart wasn't into it. They didn't remember Steve coming home, so they assumed he stayed at Adam's. When they arrived home they found a note stating he had to go out of town, which Henry one of the staff from Teddy's Grandfather's estate would arrive that evening.

Teddy and Jeff tried calling Steve's phone but everytime they tried it went straight to voicemail. Steve didn't even say where he was going in the note. They weren't sure if they should call Adam to see if he knew, but they decided since practice was not too intense, it must have not gone too well last night.

*****

Thursday night after Steve left Adam sat in the living room just cursing himself for meeting up with Ben and not telling Steve beforehand. He knew he was wrong for not shutting Ben down with the flitting earlier but he thought it felt nice and it was different from how Steve touched him. Ben has this way which always felt wonderful.

So when he showed up to practice the following morning he was tired and had beat himself up all night for possibly ruining his relationship with Steve. He knows he will have to wait for Steve to accept his apology and he doesn't know how long it will be and if ever.

Adam waited all afternoon for Steve to call when he didn't hear from him by nine, Adam try calling. It went straight to voicemail, he just said, 'It's me' and hung up. Saturday was brutal on Adam and he started to drink at seven.

By ten he was drunk and was leaving long slurred voicemails on Steve's phone begging him to forgive him. But still no word from Steve. Adam ended up passing out on the bathroom floor after praying to the porcelain God after two in the morning.

Sarah and Matt came home early Sunday morning to a mess. They couldn't believe Adam could make such a mess in such a short that time they had been gone. Matt went into the kitchen and Sarah had walked down towards their bedroom when she saw Adam laying on the bathroom, she called for Matt.

It took a bit but Matt finally got Adam awake and up off the floor of the bathroom. After he got Adam to bed, he and Sarah cleaned the house. Sarah checked in on Adam and took him some aspirin and water. "Adam, what's going on?"

"I fucked up, Sarah." Adam just shook his head, he knew it was a mistake as soon as he did it and closed his eyes, but continued. "I don't know if Steve is going to forgive me."

"What did you do?

"Nothing too bad, but I fucked up, Sarah." Adam stated and turned over, Sarah left the room, she went back to the living room where Matt was sitting and waiting for her.

"Well?"

"I got nothing, other than he fucked up."

*****

Steve had gone to his condo in San Diego. He needed some time to think without the boys asking him, 'what's going on?' or answering Adam's calls. He ordered in food from a local Deli which he always loves to stock up on.

He thought Adam and he had an open and honest relationship. They had all the discussions of the past men in Adam's and his life and family. He didn't think after how Ben had treated him, he would be a problem anymore.

Steve always knew he would be in Adam's heart, but he never thought they would meet up and Ben would seriously try to take Adam from him. After he had took the step and sent his brother out of the country, for abusing him. Steve has a decision to make, he knows Adam didn't fuck up that bad but he has been cheated on before himself and he doesn't welcome it too kindly.

*****

By Monday Adam still hadn't heard from Steve, he had the boys running, everyone was looking at Teddy, he just shrugged his shoulders and continued. He knew Steve still must not be talking to Adam and he still didn't even know where Steve was.

When practice was over, and everyone was in the locker they ask Teddy what the fuck was up with Adam all the old players knew the Coach was dating Teddy's uncle. Teddy tried to avoid their questions but he finally had enough and told them they had a fight and may have broken up, he didn't know.

Adam opened the door to the locker room, heard the boys talking and just shut the door. He decided he has to stop taking his anger out on the boys. His assist coach nodded at him as he walked by and went in to grab his things from the office. When he came back out Adam was leaning against the wall. "I see why you didn't go in now." As he handed Adam his bag and keys to his car. "See you tomorrow?"

"Thanks."

Teddy and Jeff headed home when the team finally let them take a shower. No one even paid attention to notice Adam never walked into the locker room. When they pulled into the driveway they saw Steve car. "Steve, where have you been?" Teddy asked when they walked into the house and found him sitting in the living room.

"Just thinking,Teddy."

"Are you going to talk to Adam? He had been miserable."

"AND YOU DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T?" Steve raised his voice. "He is the one that fucked up, not me."

"Is it forgivable or are you two done?"

"I'm still deciding, I'm going to go talk with him."

"Please do Steve, he was a bear at practice today." Jeff chimed in.

"I'm not doing it for you, Jeff or the team." Steve looked at Teddy and Jeff and then looked down. "I've been miserable without him too." Teddy smiled he knew Steve was going to forgive Adam. "Stop smiling Teddy."

"What, I can't smile?"

"NO!" And Steve walked out of the house.

*****

Adam walked into the house after practice he wasn't expecting to see both Sarah and Matt home already so he went straight to his room. He decided not to even change out of his polo shirt and khakis shorts, he just laid down in the middle of the bed and fell asleep.

Steve knocked on the front door and Matt answered with a smile. "Is he home?"

"He's in his room, do you want me to get him?" Steve shook his head. "Need us to give you two some privacy?"

"No, thanks for asking." Steve gave Matt a half hearted smile and started to walk past him.

"Steve, can we go for a walk?" Steve didn't say anything just turned around and followed Matt back out the door. "Steve, I know you know that Adam and I have know one another for a long time. I've been here through a lot with Ben and Adam. I've picked Adam up off the bathroom floor too many times to count, when Ben would be caught in bed with someone else, or Ben would leave Adam for a week here and there and come back."

"Matt, I know Ben cheated on Adam. I didn't realize Adam got wasted when it happen."

"Steve you're not listening to me. It happened a lot more than probably what he told you. I'm sure he told you Ben left for a long time, and the last time when Adam got fed up was when he caught Ben with his partner right there in their bed?"

Steve nodded, "Are you trying to give Adam an excuse for not stopping Ben from flirting and then kissing Ben. I know Adam could've continued and done worse."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. Please listen to me Steve."

"Ok, I'm trying."

"Adam has been fucked up for a long time Steve. Since meeting you he has moved home and opened back up. Maybe he hasn't told you every little be about his life but he loves you. He knows he has fucked up by not telling you when he has met with Ben." Matt looked over at Steve, he looked like he was listening to him. "Adam talked with me a lot last night, he was drunk again, but he talked."

"I've never seen Adam drunk."

"He doesn't normally, he will drink one or two drinks, as I'm sure you have seen him do but he never drinks beyond that. Adam has been beside himself Steve, he thinks he has lost you. I know he has called your phone."

"Yeah, I'd turned it off, he has stopped leaving messages though, I checked them all today."

"Steve, I know it is none of my business, but what are you going to do?"

"I want to talk to Adam, I..." Steve took in a deep breath and blew it out. "I love him Matt, it did hurt to know he could let Ben in and kiss him again."

They had walked around the block and were standing a few houses down from Adams. "Well Steve, you need to tell him. I know you are both hurt and I would hope this doesn't break you two up."

Steve didn't say anything to that statement, he just looked at Matt and turned towards the house to walk back, Matt followed in silence. When they walked in, he pointed towards Adam's room because he saw Sarah was still sitting alone in the living room.