- Loving Wives
- Add It Up
- Page 3
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My phone rang as Bailey finished her observation. I wasn't expecting any calls, but the ID showed it was Tom Mason. His wife was the woman Battey was sniffing around after he lost Alicia.
I realized he was probably calling to fill me in on Alicia's work place romance and what he did to prevent Battey from getting into his wife's pants. I decided it would be something the girls and Alicia would be interested in hearing.
"Hi, Tom. I have you on speaker. My girls are listening, so be aware. What can I do for you?"
"I just called to get your reaction to the hostage situation and the gun fight at Jones and Blarney today. I'm sure glad you tipped me off about Battey."
"I haven't heard anything about a hostage situation," I replied with surprise. "What happened?"
"Some kind of federal agents walked into the office this afternoon asking for Battey. He immediately grabbed Linda, the receptionist and held a gun to her head. I guess it was pretty tense for a few minutes.
"Marilyn said the shorter stockier woman agent shot Battey in the shoulder. He dropped his gun and fell to his knees. I guess it doesn't pay to be a foot taller than your hostage. I'm surprised Alicia didn't tell you about it, or aren't you two talking?"
"We do talk some, but the shooting didn't come up," I admitted. "Why were they after Battey? Did they say?"
"They told everyone it was a national security issue and couldn't discuss it. Then they dragged Battey's ass out of the office. The company had to have a professional cleaner come in to get the blood out of the carpet," added Tom.
Bailey and Canton were staring at their mother all the time Tom was speaking. As I thanked him for calling and disconnected, the two girls ran to their mother and embraced her. I just sat on the couch in stunned silence.
I don't know how long I sat there, but suddenly Alicia dropped into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. She broke into a big grin as she whispered, "I never swallowed."
- COMMENTS
Anonymous1 day agoDifferent and funny. The middle page was a bit of a repetitive slog -- could have pruned a bit out of there -- but the ending was priceless. Well done.
Anonymous2 months agoUmmm well I didn't quite expect that ending... and I'm not exactly sure what it was. But uhhh yea that was a good read however you look at it
Anonymous4 months agoSo Alicia got Tom on the cover story too. I am sure I could never guess what she used for payment.
Anonymous4 months agoThat stage blood sure does make a mess! Good thing it comes out easy. It's really a shame that the MC has no manners. He should of at least offered the agents a couple of cold Colt .45's. Even though, being on duty they would have to refuse, it is still the thought that counts. BTW was Tom the director of the Our Town play? Well all's good now that the story is confirmed and the MC has been assured that his wife didn't swallow. On the other hand doesn't that make her kind of a half-hearted patriot? “extremism in defense of liberty is no vice” Barry Goldwater.
That certainly indicates that something as mild as a blowjob without swallowing is no vice. What's the MC's problem anyway?
Funny and original. 5 stars.
Anonymous7 months agoThat was one of the best and funniest works I've read on this site - until that brain dead ending. That piece of garbage was the literary equivalent of self cucking.
I had so much rich praise to heap on both story and author, including bemoaning the fact he only posted one story and that was over three years ago but that ending took the wind completely out of my sails, leaving me feeling like I just had a giant strap-on rammed up my butt without warning. From laughing helplessly at "Your mom never swallowed" to "WTF just happened there?" In a matter of moments, from 5+ to 1-. I really hate it when authors pull shit like that on readers and I'm glad this author's brief career appears to be over.
BeBopper998 months agoStill 5***** on my second read through. Absolutely hilarious!!! The ending was a jaw dropping andout of the blue stunner. Please write more!!!!!
RocketMan129 months agoGood comedy writing. Very enjoyable using all the cliques from the typical LW stories and having fun with it.
