All Comments on 'Admin Privileges'

Trusting there will be another chapter.

I nearly got disinterested but you kept me engaged in the story about midway through. Great follow through in the church scene and especially in the car. It’s a little hard to believe she would instantly follow the suggestions but you took the time to backfill the reader on her gullibility so, that helped. What really got me was the end in the car. I liked how you ended it.

One note: “hands on your palms?” I think that should have been “hair” and if so, distracts readers by having them reread an otherwise smooth section of the story for clarity. Too many distractions in a story and you’ll lose the reader.

“incite lust” , not ‘insight lust’

Just make sure to check for typos more thoroughly in future stories, as the spelling of solutions at one point was quite interesting

This was a fun read. Enjoyed the journey. I wonder if he can get his sisters interested and make some babies with them too.

The narrator changes from a first person story to a third person out of nowhere.

Really jarring.

That was a fun story!

I like that it works both as a hot incest story and also as a surreal parody/commentary on religious loons.

@anon

"The narrator changes from a first person story to a third person out of nowhere.

Really jarring."

It's first-person omniscient. A little confusing, but it's supposed to feel like a story he's telling you after-the-fact with all the parts he wasn't there for filled in.

Had a great laugh, perhaps she should have let the gays look after him. Not knowing what chonies are I googled, and thus the laugh. Women's panties.

This stank of Reddit. You have to be a literal homo to wank to Serena Williams

Lol, this is hilarious.

Loved it! The moms are so cute! It really was such a thrill to read this because my mom is basically the exact same way. I hope you write more!