tagHumor & SatireAdult Fairy Tales: Gingerdeadman

Adult Fairy Tales: Gingerdeadman

bySean Renaud©

Greg isn't much like the other guys around school. In fact he's nothing like the other guys. Where most guys his age are just looking to get a piece of action and don't care at all about women Greg is simply the sweetest guy around. There isn't a single girl on the entire campus who doesn't think he's as sweet as sweet can be and that's no surprise.

You see the fact of the matter is that he has Mom or Dad. That's the secret to what has made Greg so sweet. It's not the lack of family drama; he doesn't have any drama because his siblings all go to different schools. They are all just like him though sweet as sugar without a single ounce of bad.

The reason he doesn't have an ounce of bad in him is a little bit hazy. It was probably the fact that when Momma made him she put together an extra special batch. Instead of the normal ingredients she uses oodles of extra love and special ginger that she'd grown herself. You see it turns out that if you have enough love your gingerbread men will come to life. Momma thought she had gone crazy.

Then it happened again, and again and again. Every time she did it just right and poured all of her love into those little dough boys and stuffed them into the oven they would jump right up. They were filled with love and happiness from the moment they popped off of the cookie sheet and into her hearts. It would take a few years but the Gingerbread boys always became Gingerbread Men. Greg however was held back a few years as Gingerbread Men grow slower than regular boys and was twenty one, unlike the rest of his nineteen year old senior class.

Momma made sure that she kept the boys decent. She didn't send them off the school in the nude. No, she gave them little gumdrop buttons, frosting shirts and icing pants. Some of them insisted on shoes of the finest graham and others were content with little buckles. Having icing for clothing had one major disadvantage. Momma always knew if the boys had made good on their intent.

They were boys becoming men, and the women adored them all their might. It just made it easy for Momma to keep an eye oh them was all. After all when a woman removed one of the buttons from her boys it was just gone. That was especially true with the bad girls who had a habit of swallowing gum, but even the good girls could never get them back in place just right.

This isn't going to be about them all because I could talk about them all for hours, days, weeks and perhaps years. This is just about Greg who is the hero, villain or victim of this story. I'm not really sure what the best way I to describe this boy on the cusp of manhood. So just sit back relax and listen here.

Greg was a graduation from High School in the early summer. That's just when school lets out, it had no special significance other than letting you know. Of course as sweet as he was he'd had no problem at all finding a girl to go to the prom with him. The hard part had been picking which girl to go to the prom with. So many had asked him and having to settle was a real bummer.

It was Barbara Ann who eventually took his hand. He liked that song as much as I do and I think that's why he chose her. Other wise it might have been Maria but you have to say her name twice and it just gets old. She was a beautiful girl, Barbara Ann, with killer curves, brown eyes and hair the color of sand.

The two of them went to the prom and had a night that was anything but dull. It was one of the last times they would be around their high school friends and both of them were enjoying themselves. As the night carried on Greg found that it wasn't just him and Barbara anymore. There was a little bit of Erica by his side. He could see a little bit of Tina and Mary was there all night long. He liked Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita. What was odd was Barbara Ann was calling them all over claiming he was more than she could handle.

The night went on and the guys started to pile into their cars alone and in pairs. Greg didn't notice them leaving, he was surrounded by the better half of the student body. He was still out their dancing when the DJ was ready to close shop and leave and the chaperones were starting to shoo the remaining partiers out of the doors. The night couldn't end yet! Greg was having entirely too much fun and so were the ladies! Barbara was the one who took the party to a hotel ready to play truth or dares.

Just like any man Greg was too caught up in the moment to pay attention to the facts. He was alone with all of these women on their prom night but he wasn't like other boys. Momma had never given him bits. Sure he had lips and through means he couldn't explain they moved when he spoke but beneath his peppermint zipper there was just gingerbread flesh. Greg was so focused on thighs and breasts that he didn't notice the pitchers of milk entering the room nor the fact that the women were leering like cats.

I don't need to go into the horrific details for you to understand that this didn't end well. What you should know is that it started off just like he expected. There were lips all over him, tasting his flesh with wet tongues and hungry lips. (And occasionally complaints he'd go straight to her hips) Teeth removed his buttons and then . . . then it quickly became too gruesome and the details I will not tell.

Sadly this is where the tale must come to an end. There is no more Greg, they gobbled him right up. There really is no moral, no lesson to learn. It was just an entertaining story about the world's sweetest guy. Or maybe there is a moral and it has something to do with what happens to nice guys. I'm not really sure about much other than the simple fact that this is the end.

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bySean Renaud© 1 comments/ 19205 views/ 3 favorites
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