All Comments on '"AFD", and my Family Won't Quit'

The big issue you didn't answer, and there was plenty of time to investigate it (6 years) was whether or not the kids were his. I will assume at least 1 wasn't. This is where you rig the will so 1) they are mentioned, but you only leave them $ 1 and you include the poison pill - anybody that contests the will automatically is entitled to $1 only. You also didn't state how their lives went into the toilet after the divorce. Stella may own a $ 1.2 million dollar house, but can she afford the taxes and bills? Sasha would have a hard time explaining to her daughter that grandpa wasn't really her grandpa, and wouldn't see her anymore. Their AFD jokes destroyed their family. Karma!

To summarize you need to wait a day or two and read OUT LOUD as your auditory processing runs thru your brain differently than your visual processing, because it is beyond apparent you didnt write out everything you thought you had,

This story is like a record that has a couple of scratches in it jumping forward over what we should have seen leading up to the next scenes

thats not a prank thats mental illness

I found this a bit confusing. 3 stars

The writing, good. The plot, satisfactory.

I can't make up my mind if it was funny or tragic.

I cant tell if what they his family said is true or not like the infidelity of Stella. I think I have to reread this to get my confusion staightened out.

no one likable here. really the MC fucks his wife knowing she is cheating catches hiv then fucks his mistress giving it to her. why didnt he just leave? what was the prank? so she pranked cheating on him when she was actually cheating on him? i really dont understand why someone stays that long. his kids were grown. eh sorry i just cant get past that there was no reason to stay

Great story, but finished too fast.

Better but would of loved an aftermath

REALLY BAD WRITING

Sorry, but the shorter was better. This had its moments, but the extraneous real cheating didn't work as well.

Bizarre

Very nice. BTB!

Your short story was better because it kept it simple. Wife and kids all acting like they are cheating and he gets revenge. But in this one, she really is cheating yet not with the guy she said. Really? Raise a red flag when you want to keep a secret?

Then he is cheating because he caught her years ago but stayed with her. It is only the pranks he is really pissed about. But he does the reveal, she knows her marriage is over but wants to stay with him anyway. Betty is suddenly there at the end with no explanation. The whole ending was dumb... You go into detail how he is rich and is hiding money supposedly to keep it away from wife...He sold his company but stays there.

The Evil Things we do in the name of...Love!

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The story was good, but there were a lot of odd insertions of germane facts in places they shouldn't have been. Also, the flowing dialogue without attribution became confusing at times. As a rewrite, I can see that smashing, reworking and adding to created some of the chaotic feel. On the whole, a great story, and the details were just right without burying the plot under a flurry of irrelevant backstory, somewhat of an all-pervasive cliché on Literotica.

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Still a solid 5/5, mainly because it was just a good, decent story!

Totally confused. Was she cheating or not? Why did he stayed married if he was so upset? All I could tell for sure was HE was the cheater. Who was supposed to be the victim and who was supposed to be the bad guy. Story made zero sense to me.

He scared the shit out of the cheating bitch, and her two bastards. Great story.

I think you had a bunch of the pieces there but putting them together didn't go quite as well as you planned. Some parts were good, some parts not even close.

If you hadnt pulled so many damned cliches, and we all know what those were, that would have helped. In the end I think you tried to do too much with such a short story.

Sorry but this was just a convoluted mess. So his wife changed 6 years ago. He gets proof of her affair via videos/audio. But doesn't divorce her because he wants to "hide" assets. For 5 or 6 years??? His slut wife then, with assistance of their two adult children, run a series of AFD pranks and he is so damn stupid that her puts up with them. He has an American version of pre-nup based around adultery. So most of his actions are null and void re hiding assets. He already knew and had proof she cheated!

Then, his "revenge" is some childish "boom" where he pretends he is going to "end it all" and kill them at the same time? Total garbage. Oh, he has already commenced cheating on his wife over the last 4/5 years but we are expected to ignore his role cause she started cheating first.

Plus, all that nonsense about the change of his Will again is garbage. A Will cannot be written in that vein. This is totally ridiculous. Leaving assets to a future, as yet unnamed wife? Once divorced he can leave whatever of his estate to whomever he wishes. Whether they are married or not.

1 star - ALL practical joke stories get ONE star

This is clearly a re publish of the same story. The author should inform us before we waste out time re-reading it.

A lot of words that were hard to follow....very boring....*1*

You certainly have some TOUGH critics! I enjoyed the "burn" of Stella & kids

This is a pistache… an assemblage… a paste together of many pieces that are supposed to hang together but are not really sufficiently well connected to make sense. Still the scenes are great fun even if they don’t make much sense as a story. 4 stars

servant111, please accept my apologies if "pistache" was a typo, but the actual word is "pastiche."

Cute Story. I enjoyed the story. Thanks for writing.

Complete load of bollocks

Stupid - a waste of time

What a fucking load of bollocks

Enjoyable story, well written, but I would have liked more of an ending.

Very good, but you missed an epilogue on what happened to Wife #1 (the ex-wife) after the divorce, and especially what happened to their kids. I would guess he will have little if anything to do with them, and they will miss Dad's financial assistance. Hopefully the pranksters have very long lives, full of regret and disappointments.

Weak.

Sorry, it didn’t do it for me.

A bit of a jumbled mess. Who was cheating and who wasn’t. In the end I gave up caring.

What happened........

It felt like the firework instead went off in authors head.

Because the whole plot just Flipped 360°.

Great idea but poorly executed...

Everyone is a cheater or an idiot. no one to cheer for here.

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The entire story was choppy and disjointed. It was a great idea, poorly written.