All Comments on 'After School Session Ch. 04'

thank you for the best lesbian story. ı must say you make me so demn horny, ı realy like that english teacher next to me right now ;)

This is amazing

Dear hellodragon123: Please don't stop with this hot / horny &well-written tale!

Please give us MORE - AS I LIKE TO SAY: "KEEP 'EM' CUMMING!'

This story has been very good. It is very well written in the sense that you use a wide range of vocabulary, and really make it flow. However, I found myself stumbling over a lot of small little errors. Just a suggestion, but you might want to write/or read your stories just a bit slower. Really imagine where your characters are, what they're doing, and how they're moving. How can Ms. Williams 'back away' from Lily, if Lily is on top of her on the couch? When Ms. Williams is knelt on the floor in front of Lily, Lily would not 'reach her arms up around Ms. Williams' neck and pull her face down to look at her,' (not direct quotes, just paraphrasing from memory). Also, last critique, Ms. Williams cannot be as shy as she is in the story you have created. The first incident happened very fast, there was hardly any hesitation on Ms. Williams' part, if at all. She then returned the favor without question or coaxing. And then all of a sudden she wants to slow down? Or when she said "I expect a thank you tomorrow," but then acted like she didn't know if it was ok when she saw Lily the next day. You can't give the impression she is handling everything fine, even initiating intercourse, in the first two sex scenes and then being nervous and submissive in the next. Or you can, but it needs an explanation of why. Is she struggling with right and wrong, and feeling guilty about having sex with her student? One minute overcome with passion, the next second guessing her actions? You could have made this work had you just explained. Other than that, this was a wonderful story and really did intrigue me.

Loved the story and which you could continue writing it.