After the End Ch. 14

That seemed to distract him sufficiently. He pulled my aching shaft into his mouth, fucking me deliciously against the length of his tongue. I clung to control for another minute so he wouldn't realize I'd been so close. At last I let go, groaning in relief. Blissful contractions flooded my semen into his mouth.

We were under the sheet with the lamp off by the time Avery spoke again. "You can ask him," he said quietly. "If he wants to do this with us. Just...please don't embarrass me any more than you have to."

I found his shoulder and squeezed it. "Not planning to embarrass anyone. Have you thought about what kind of terms you'd like to propose?"

We talked for a while longer, hashing out possibilities and what he was willing for me to share. I didn't say so, because I needed to manage Avery's expectations, but some buried part of me was really hoping for a yes.

A couple nights later, Graham and I climbed to one of the guard platforms that wasn't currently in use, overlooking Fort Laurel's rough stockade wall to the shadowed expanse of forest beyond. Watchfires burned at intervals inside the camp, even in summer, to prevent being surprised by a stealth invasion. From here, we wouldn't be overheard or interrupted, unless a messenger needed to warn of an emergency.

Not much was moving in the settlement this late. A few civilians crossed the worn paths between wooden and canvas structures. Lights were always on in the medical center, closer to the main gate, but many other windows were dark. On the other side of the wall, the army's tents stretched in regimented rows. Most soldiers were either on patrol or getting some rack, but the occasional faint greeting of "Good evening, sir" or "ma'am" floated to our position.

Graham pulled a dull metal flask from his pocket before we settled side by side with our backs to the wooden posts. He was in his typical off-duty olive tank top and straight twill pants, which was nearly as much of a uniform as the fatigues. With his family's position, he could have afforded any specialty clothing he wanted, but out of respect for his troop's more limited means, he wore the same mass-produced items they did.

He took a pull from the flask and passed it over. No global disaster would ever stop humans from brewing intoxicants. I knocked it back: rice vodka, the preferred spirit in these parts. I rested my head against the beam behind me and let the alcohol work its magic. By the time the burn faded from my throat and stomach, the subtle warmth had infused my veins.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Graham asked, glancing over. "Anything wrong? Besides the collapse of our over-burdened planet, I mean," he added with typical ready humor.

"Nothing new is wrong that I know of." I took a grounding breath and turned a little so I could watch his expression in the faint firelight. "You asked the other day if you'd done anything to bother Avery. I want to answer that question more fully. And rest assured that I've already cleared this with him. But I want to say first that I'm having this conversation with you because I trust it's safe for us to be candid with each other. If this gets too personal, feel free to tell me. I do want to hear your honest reaction. Though I hope you won't jump to any conclusions before I have a chance to explain."

"Yeah, of course, Julian. But now I'm worried again. Did I do something to offend Avery?"

"No. Quite the opposite actually. He's...very attracted to you, and he didn't want you to notice. It's much more common for him to be attracted to women than to men. But I haven't seen him respond this way to anyone other than me."

"Oh," Graham said before I could go on. He sounded surprised. "Well I hope I haven't caused any trouble between you. I certainly haven't intended to."

"Not at all. Look, we're fully committed to our marriage and we take it very seriously. But our approach to sex is somewhat less conventional, in that we're open to partnering with other people, if we've both agreed and within boundaries that we establish together. I'm not sure if you've heard that we previously had a sexual relationship with Dr. Naresh, during the time we've been married. It's common knowledge in the community." I paused so he could respond.

"I did hear that, yes. Maurice mentioned it." The captain cocked his head, as if he anticipated where this was going, but he didn't comment further.

"So." Now that the moment had arrived, I felt a bit nervous myself. I chanced a brief smile. "We both think very highly of you. I wouldn't make this offer if I thought it would interfere with either our friendship or our professional relationship. This is in no way to presume whether you might be interested, and we won't in any way be offended if you decline. But I'm here to find out if you might like to join Avery and me sometime. For fun of a sexual nature."

Graham's gaze shifted away, and his answering smile betrayed some self-consciousness, but his tone and body language remained open. "Well, that is not at all what I expected you to say tonight, Major Demos." He used my title almost as if it were a term of affection. "I'm certainly flattered. And I'm not...uninterested." His focus flashed back to my face, and there was a new glow to his features. Or at least one he'd never shown me before.

"Glad to hear it," I returned, a similar glow smoldering in my core. "We wouldn't do anything like this without discussing it thoroughly, so please ask any questions you have."

He launched into a series. "How did it work before, with the doctor? What kind of boundaries did you set? Was your relationship with him...casual? Or romantic?"

I briefly explained the arrangement we'd had with Vik, without getting into his personal preferences. "There were some feelings involved, at the end," I concluded. "But we worked through them together, and no one broke any rules."

The captain seemed to process that information for a minute. "I have to say, I've participated in poly arrangements before, with people of various genders, but not with a couple as serious as you two. You don't mind...seeing your spouse with someone else?"

"I don't," I confirmed. "Avery and I are quite securely bonded. I enjoy watching him enjoy himself; it doesn't need to be exclusively with me. It's satisfying for me to be able to provide him new experiences with new partners. Particularly with men, because he hadn't been with any before me. Plus," I flashed a grin, "as I'm sure you're aware, there's a great deal of fun that simply can't be had with only two people."

Graham grinned back. "That is very true."

Suddenly I was thinking a little too graphically about the type of fun we might soon be having. "We can keep talking," I said to get us back on track, "but if this sounds like something you might want to try, I was going to suggest that the three of us find a time to hang out. You could get to know Avery a little better, and if it seems like a match, we could talk terms."

"Yeah," he replied, his tone more golden now. He looked over at me again, subtle anticipation in the contours of his cheeks. "Let's do it."

I held his gaze for maybe one second too long, then forced my attention away, to the flickering fire below, before the one inside me could expand any further. "Any other questions?"

There was answering heat in his reply. "When can we start?"

* * * * *

Avery:

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I complained to Julian, not for the first time, on our way to meet Graham outside the fort's main entrance. My stomach was in my chest, my heart was in my throat, and sweat dampened my palms. "This is a terrible idea. We're going to be hiking for like half an hour before we even get there -- what are we supposed to talk about? Hey, do you like to fuck guys? Oh, and watch out for that tree root," I parodied.

My unreasonably patient husband took my hand, matching his perfectly dry palm to mine, then brought the back to his mouth for a kiss. "Babe, you're going to be fine. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. It's just a casual date."

"I don't date," I argued, too stressed to do anything else. "I hook up, or I get married. I never even went on a date with you."

"If it goes well, we can get straight to the hooking up," Julian promised, unruffled.

"We didn't have to go on a date with Vik," I pointed out.

"We'd both already known Vik for years. And he wanted a specific type of relationship I was already experienced with. This meeting is to find out if we even have common interests with Graham. You know you would have been way too nervous to do anything with him, if I just invited him into our bed."

"I'm way too nervous now!" I protested.

Julian squeezed my hand. "Avery, look at me."

I expelled a breath, about as annoyed with myself as Julian probably was. I didn't understand why he could calm me down, when I couldn't manage to do it on my own. But I turned my gaze to the blue jewels of his eyes. They were warm with affection, and something else. Some kind of eagerness I didn't remember seeing before. Maybe he was at least a little ruffled.

"This is just an experiment," he told me. "Try to relax with it, ok? There's nothing to lose. Graham is a trustworthy and open-minded person; I have no reason to think he would hold it against us if this doesn't pan out. You can always go back to avoiding him and blushing whenever I say his name."

I hated the way my face gave away my emotions exactly when I most wanted to hide them. And I envied people like Julian who never turned red.

"Take a few breaths," he instructed when I didn't reply. "All the way in, all the way out. Then tell me if you still want to go through with this or not. I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

It was difficult to tear away from my racing thoughts enough to focus on breathing, but he and Maurice had made me practice this a lot, so I did it. After three breaths, the worries hadn't gone away, but it was more clear what they were.

I confessed in a quieter voice. "What if I fuck up this up? I have no idea what I'm doing. He's like...so far out of my league. Like you were, except you married me, so I guess we're even now." I took another breath. "I'm going to feel worse if I had a chance and he still didn't want to."

As usual, the reply was calm. "If he doesn't want to pursue this further, you would have no reason to feel badly. Attraction is involuntary, remember? It isn't personal. Besides, if it doesn't work out today, maybe it would in the future. You don't need to put so much pressure on this. Just do whatever feels right. You can't fuck it up if you're being yourself."

Always with Julian and his Zen bullshit. He made it sound so easy. "What feels right is hiding under the covers," I muttered. We were almost to the gate. But no matter how many butterflies flapped around my gut, I probably would feel the worst if I had this chance and didn't take it at all. So I gripped his hand tighter and kept going.

"Final decision?" he asked.

"I want to go. But if it's a disaster, I reserve the right to get the hell out of there and make you hike back with him alone."

He chuckled. "Deal."

We met up with Graham, and I managed not to blush too much when he said hi to me. He was a relaxed conversationalist, chatting about community affairs while his well-trained muscles handled the steep climb with ease. The red-gold highlights in his close-cropped hair flashed whenever the sun's waning rays filtered through the forest canopy, then faded to chestnut brown in the shadows. By the time we'd hiked to the overlook where Julian and I said our marriage vows, I was feeling a little less like a butterfly net. It actually had been nice to have something to do together where no one could stare at me. All part of my husband's master plan, no doubt.

We were sitting at the edge of the small shelf carved out from a taller cliff, watching the valley start to take on shades of rose and gold, and I didn't seem to have fucked it up so far. Graham was being extra friendly, and the questions he asked were softballs, like how we got together and what kind of books I liked. I wondered if Julian had coached him on how to deal with my nerves. I could talk books with anyone.

"I don't know about you guys," the captain said after a while, "but my ass can only sit on stone for so long. Can we move to the grass?"

We took his suggestion, relocating to the dell bordered by the rocky wall behind us. I sat at Julian's side, our backs propped against the bank, and Graham settled cross-legged near my other side, on a diagonal facing me. My heart rate picked up a little, having him so close. Close enough to touch me, and not knowing if he was going to. But knowing he knew I wanted it, which set my stomach doing flips. The sun had dipped below the trees, but the soft light of dusk showed interest in his expression as he focused on me. I avoided his gaze, watching a small flock of white wading-birds cruise home for the night instead.

"Julian said you didn't have experience with men until him," Graham opened, bringing the conversation closer to the matter at hand. "Had you just not tried it before then? Or was it not something you wanted?"

I shook my head. "I always liked women, so I never really thought about anything else. People around here are...kind of judgmental, if you haven't noticed. They barely even believe bisexuality can exist. A lot of them are still convinced I must actually be gay."

"I know what you mean," he affirmed. "People make that assumption about me too." I heard nothing but the rustling of forest for a brief space. "What was it like when you realized you were interested in Julian?"

I'd been asked that before, but usually out of morbid curiosity. Graham's question seemed born of genuine empathy, which made me actually want to answer it.

"It was...confusing. I didn't understand why I couldn't stop thinking about him, and the obvious explanation was -- not something I was prepared for. I was in denial about it for a while." I hadn't really talked about this with another bisexual man. I wasn't sure that I knew any. Most people seem pretty committed to a single gender. "But eventually I had to figure it out when --" I cut off, suddenly realizing what I'd been about to say. I glanced at Julian for help, but he just gave my arm a quick caress.

"When what?" Graham prompted.

I shrugged. What the hell. "When my dick got involved."

"That's the tell, right there," he laughed, not at my expense. He was really good at being amused in a way that was inclusive rather than exclusive.

"What about you?" I asked then, surprising myself. "Did you always know, or did you find out at some point?"

"I guess I mostly always knew," he answered, his tenor voice relaxed. "At least, I always knew I was drawn to people of more than one gender. It did take me a long time to realize there was anything unusual about that. I still don't really get why people do have such strong gender preferences." He glanced at Julian that time, a little teasing, a little conspiratorial.

"I know, right?" I joined in, grinning at my partner. "Women are so beautiful. And smooth. And who would want to miss out on vaginal sex? It's fantastic."

Julian granted us an indulgent half-smile, but he didn't comment.

I looked back at Graham, and it was like I'd broken a spell, or cast a spell, by saying the magic word: sex. Now it was ok that he was looking at me like that -- curious and intent, like he wanted to find out what was underneath all my layers. Because now I wanted that too.

"Your husband here mentioned you're often attracted to women, but it's more rare for you to be attracted to men," he said next, an alluring note entering his tone.

"Yeah," I agreed, dropping my gaze.

"What's so special about me then, huh?" Graham asked, unmistakably flirtatious this time. Somehow that made me feel both anxious and safe.

"I don't know," I mumbled, falling back on my standby. Julian stroked my arm again, as if assuring me this topic was allowable.

"I'd be very curious to know," the object of my fantasies told me, so inviting that I almost wanted to oblige. But I wasn't nearly ready to say such things out loud.

I bit my cheek and failed to come up with a reply by the time he spoke again.

"Julian warned me you could be shy. I didn't really believe him, but it's kind of adorable."

Well that wasn't helping. I stared at the ground, hoping the thickening dusk was hiding my flush.

"It's alright, Avery," Graham said, laughing again. "Maybe you can tell me later." His weight shifted, and suddenly he was sitting beside me, his back against the cliff. His arm and knee came to rest against mine.

God, I was like a teenager with this crush. The casual physical connection sent my bloodstream into a frenzy.

His face turned toward me, now only inches away. "Is this ok?" he asked, gently indicating our close contact.

"Yeah," I managed, keeping my eyes forward.

"I'd want you to tell me, if it wasn't." He seemed like he really cared about respecting my boundaries, and that made me want a lot more contact. Like laying my head on his solid shoulder and letting his muscular arms enfold me. Listening for the sound of his heart. But I stayed where I was and answered only in words.

"Yeah. I would."

"Ok. Great. So Julian," he said, turning attention to the man at my other side. "What kind of terms did you have in mind, if Avery decides to take me home tonight?"

He said it so easily, as if I were the one in control. As if we were a perfectly plausible pair. My pulse was pounding so hard, I was sure he could hear it.

My husband, of course, needed no further prompting to launch into sex broker mode. "Primarily, our rules are designed to protect the bond between Avery and me. We enjoy branching out sexually, but we would never allow an arrangement with a third person to jeopardize our marriage. Our relationships with you, Graham, would always need to remain beneath that umbrella."

"Absolutely," Graham replied. "I can see how close you two are. Homewrecking is not my idea of entertainment."

"Good. So there are a few terms we'd like to establish," Julian continued. "And if you agree, of course we'd be open to any additional considerations from your end. But first, can you tell us what kind of experience you have with formal negotiation and power exchange during sex?"

"I have some," the captain replied. "I've been with people who were into D/S-type activities, either on a one-time basis or for longer. I enjoy them myself, if that's what you're asking. Variety is the spice of life, right?" He concluded with a playful nudge to my knee.

Fuck yeah it is. I didn't look over, but I'm sure he saw the smile lift my cheeks.

"May I ask -- any preference as to role?"

Graham's head tilted forward to look past me. "Why, you want to tie me up, Julian?" he asked, flirting with my husband now.

He didn't take the bait. "We can discuss activities once we've agreed on ground rules."

The captain conceded with a good-natured laugh. "I don't have a strong preference. I like to have fun."

For myself, I was beginning to wonder if I was going to make it through this conversation without a boner.

"Good to know," Julian replied, not letting on to whatever he was feeling. "Terms?"

"Fire away."

"The first is as I described: you will not attempt to pursue a romantic relationship with either Avery or me that would interfere with our marriage."

"Not a problem," was the laid-back response.

"Second," Julian went on, "there will be no sexual contact between you and Avery or between you and me, unless all three of us are present and have verbally consented."