All Comments on 'After the Fall Ch. 05'

Such a great story, I spent the whole day reading it instead of working haha!

I wish I could say I'm sorry for distracting you from work, but you'd know I was lying if I said that, right? ;-) I'm very glad you like it.

Just wow. Just finished re reading the past 5 chapters and I cant tell you how much I love it. Pls make this a book. I will buy this book. As a reader I'd love michael to be forced to take her to the bluffdale elites centre thingie. Wearing something secret inside her. Just an idea :D whatever you choose I'm all for it

I'm back (although it is easy to miss when the new chapter comes out, I think it would be great for the audience if the chapters came more frequently ;) (see what I did there :D)), and I'm liking your writing, and, as usual, getting frustrated with Michael, why the hell does he need to force her reactions??? that is not sexy!!! I wish she was better at withstanding him, and I LOVED her response regarding why she doesn't give in: "Sometimes it's because you've been being awful. Sometimes it's because I feel like a butterfly pinned to a board. Sometimes it's because I'm afraid of things being worse later, like they have been. Sometimes it's because I know I'll feel sad afterward. And sometimes," she looked at him challengingly, "it's just because you deserve it." Brilliant! Michael needs to learn to respect her more and push her less, and then maybe he could build an actual worthwhile relationship... Can't wait for more!

I'm so pleased you like it so far! I don't want to give too much away, but there is a visit to The Center in Bluffdale in the fairly near future. I'd really love to make this a book some day, since people do seem to be enjoying the story. For now, I'll focus on getting this written so people don't get too mad at me. Thank you for the encouragement!

You glutton for punishment, you! Although I am unable to keep up with your cruel and tyrannical demands for speed, I'd be happy to send you an email when a new chapter is out. If you're interested, just click the "Send Feedback" tab at the top of the comments section, and use it to send me your email address. Your message will go to my email address that's associated with this account, and I'll respond from that. Or, you can check my profile page for estimated completion dates. This last chapter took an entire week after I submitted it to be published, so that part is hard to predict.

I know I keep saying this, but Michael is going to continue to disappoint. He will improve, ultimately, but it's not going to be a smooth path. There are upcoming plot developments that make me worry, "What will Anonymous Grrrr and LostnFoundBin think?" There are some chapters I"ll have to ask you to read with your eyes closed.

I'm glad you liked the bit you quoted. I must have rewritten it about five or six times, but the final line was always the same.

This is the first I've commented on any story, I have enjoyed it that much. Chapter 5 is the best chapter so far. Please write more about Ezra and Sarah -- a lot more. They've captured my attention, and I want to know more about them: backgrounds, motivations, etc. Why are they drawn together? How will they develop together? I really hoping they are more complex than flat protector and waife archetypes.

Hawley's first name change. In the first chapter he was Brad Hawley, now he is Josh Hawley. It makes me wonder if you live in a particular US state, that you will choose that name for your villain. ;)

I'm so glad you decided to comment. Reader comments mean the world to me, and I'm sure they do to other authors, too. It's really the only way to know how our stories are being received, so I appreciate you deciding to leave one. I think Chapter 5 is one of my favorites, too. It was a fun chapter to write.

Ezra and Sarah are not going to disappear from the story, but I'm afraid they will have less of a role than you would like. They were both intended to be supporting characters. I ended up really liking them, which is probably why you do, too. They got a bit away from me and sort of stole the show. I can't really focus too much on them because there is so much that has to be accomplished plot-wise as it is. We've got the wall to get built, the houses to build, the gardens to grow, the people to get settled, those Elites to get sorted out, plus whatever happened to the communication system. (What's "Dave" doing, anyway? What's Quinland up to?)

You will get a little more character development with Sarah in Chapter 6, which was submitted 6/16/20 and is pending publication. She's been surviving on her own in Ashland for years, so she's more than just a waif, but she does have a quiet personality and a lot more vulnerability than Mariah. I suppose you'll have to see what you think. Let me know! You will get more with Ezra in other chapters. As with a lot of supporting characters, they will probably hew fairly closely to their archetypes, but I do hope they are more than -just- their archetypes. I can already tell that Mariah is going to be a bad influence on Sarah! You'll learn more about how Sarah will fit into the household in Chapter 6. So, you'll get more with Sarah and Ezra, but not as much as it sounds like you want. I'm sorry. :-( I hate to disappoint, and I love the characters, but I'm running out of room in my story. I'll see if I can pop in some little vignettes for you, though.

I know this may be super random but I would love some of her on her cycle. Maybe him taking care of her or something like that. A lot of books/literature doesn’t show that part in their plot so I think it would be interesting! Loving this so much.

Thank you for the suggestion. I read it over, thought about it a little while, and am still thinking it over. I wanted to share my thoughts so far. I like realism to the extent that it doesn't ruin fantasy. That's why the sex scenes in my writing all fall within the realm of physical possibility. For example, there are no orgasms without the type of stimulation that can actually result in an orgasm.

My concern is that a chapter in which I acknowledge the reality of Mariah's natural cycle might be an instance of reality interfering too greatly with the fantasy. Because this is erotica, I make an effort to include a sex scene in each chapter. I'm not going to ruin a story line just to throw in some sex, but I think there's a reasonable reader expectation that sex is going to be involved, and I try to be considerate of that. (It doesn't bother me at all when other authors include chapters with no sex in them, but this is how I try to do it.)

Obviously, women can have sex on their period. For some people, that's a routine part of their sexual experiences. For some people, it's a total squick. For others, it's a fetish. Even if no traditional intercourse is involved, there are other possibilities, but I got the impression from your comment that you're not even looking for sex, but for some TLC. I think (and hope) that might be something I can satisfy in other ways.

I'll continue to think about this. Thanks for sharing the idea.

When Mariah brings Sarah’s clothes out from the bathroom, it says she hands them to Michael, when it should be Ezra. Michael doesn’t come back to the room until Mariah is out of the bathroom.

Loving the chapters, you should consider self publishing on amazon!

Dear Anonymous Continuity.

Good catch. Thank you. Yes, that was supposed to be Ezra who took the clothes. I'll fix it in my own draft. Thank you for your encouragement!

The sex between these two is so steaming! Michael is a true dominant in the bedroom but seems alittle out of control outside it. If he stayed poised and calm on a day-to-day basis and didn't make idle jealous threats, he would be a lot hotter. Really enjoying reading their journey.

That's great to hear! To be honest, I'm always nervous about the sex scenes, so I appreciate feedback about them. Michael is rather out of control outside the bedroom. If only he could apply that discipline and focus to everything else! I think he's done acting like a lunatic for a few chapters, though. No promises after that!

I'd be lying if I said I dont sometimes skim the details of the community planning, but that's because I dont have a lot of free time. Its actually incredibly thought out and I'm sure there was a lot of research involved for the writing!

I actually really appreciate that nothing happened between Mariah and Sarah when Sarah was first brought to her room and took a bath; and I love the whole thing with Ezra. I think its actually quite understandable how Michael doesnt learn to stop pushing his limits with Mariah because hes been alone so long and that kind of need can be hard to control- especially for someone who had mentally romanticized a relationship for years. I just really enjoy the story and have no complaints. Just cant wait for the day Mariah smiles at (or even returns!) an "I love you."

She's finally got a bit more interesting, pity she isn't going to end up with Ezra who at least seems to have a sense of humour, Michael is just so two dimensional