Agent in Training

I beckoned with a finger and Sonia came over to me. She looked lost and the perception occurred to me that she had been raised in the country and that cities were an alien environment to her.

This may be in fact the first hotel room that she'd ever been in. Her amber eyes found mine and I asked her, "Do you know what your clothes sizes are?"

She blinked, but then nodded. The phone stopped ringing and speaking into it, I said, "Tanya, it's Rorian."

"Aye dear boy, what brings you to mother Russia?"

"How do you know I'm in Russia?"

"Ahh it is simple, you call out of the blue even as sirens blare in the background saying someone, most likely an American, has kicked over the hornet's nest. I can put two and two together, you know. I may be getting older, but I'm not dead yet."

Stifling a smile I said, "Well, I need you to be your usual discrete self. I need some clothes."

"But of course! I will have a selection for you by morning."

"No, Tanya. They're not for me."

There was silence on the other end of the line, then Tanya spoke dramatically, "So it was you! I hope you know what you're doing this time my friend."

By way of answering I said, "Here she is."

I handed the phone to Sonia and listened as Tanya questioned her as to her sizing details. Eavesdropping in on the conversation I appreciated the fact that I had been right.

The girl did have big breasts for her slim size. They were natural too. I was sure of it.

Sonia handed the phone back to me. Tanya's voice was wry sounding as she said, "I will get it put together for you. Enjoy your evening big American."

"Good night Tanya." I said and hung up the phone.

Sonia immediately reached out to grasp my arm with strong articulated fingers that had seen their share of hard work in their lifetime, "You trust her?"

"Only to a degree. In general, from this point onward I am the only one you can trust."

"I know."

Meeting her gaze, I said, "Then you should know you're safe with me and that I won't hurt you, but the catch 22 is that you're not safe, because you are with me. Make sense?"

She nodded.

"You can have the bedroom, I'll take the couch. Go ahead and take a shower if you want. The food should be here by then."

She nodded again and I sensed something emotional swirling in her as she looked away. I reached a finger out and touched the skin of her chin.

Boy was that a mistake! Following through though I turned her head until her gaze met mine and lifting an eyebrow I asked the question silently of what was wrong.

Her eyes of amber were in turmoil and tears were threatening as she spoke, "I have no money to pay for this!"

"Have I asked for anything?"

"No, but I am not the girl you came to save!"

"That may be, but you're the girl God put in my path to save and I'm content with that. How about you?"

She nodded her head vigorously.

"Go get a shower Sonia. It will warm you up and help you to calm down."

She nodded with tears spilling down her cheeks and hurried away. She stopped when she reached the bedroom doorway, "Thank you again!" and then she was gone.

I turned away and put a hand to my head. What on earth was I going to do with her?

In a way I already knew the answer to that. I was going to keep her.

I would at least give her a choice though. That much I would do.

I'd never met anyone who affected me like she did. It was dangerous, even crazy, perhaps, but the stark reality of it was that for several months now, maybe even years I had been mentally losing it.

I for lack of a better way of putting it needed someone. Someone who knew what I was.

What I was capable of. Someone who knowing that still wouldn't look away.

In a way she'd enslaved me with that first glance in the mansion tonight. She'd seen inside my soul and said, "Save me. Protect me. Anything, just help me."

I'd answered the call. I'd like to think I'd have done what I did for anyone, but I wasn't sure of myself any-more.

Things had gotten dark in my life. I killed more people than I gave help to.

I wanted that to change, but I was what I was. And the man that I was I needed to keep doing the things that I did and in a way she was living proof of that.

Closing my eyes, I whispered, "Is it wrong to keep her? Is it wrong to seek to brighten my own soul, with the zest for life that I see on fire within her soul? I'll do whatever you tell me to God. Anything, even let her go."

There was a knock at the door and I went to it. It was the food.

I let the servers in and closed the door after them. My hands still on the door the voice of my Creator spoke within my soul, "Who told you to go through the door?"

"You did." I whispered in reply.

"You see the world for only its darkness. You should have a son. Then you will understand what it is like, when one day you face the loss of him to a world that hates Me and yet one I formed out of nothing."

What was God saying?

Brokenly I whispered, "I don't want a son!"

"Why?"

"Because I never would want him to become like me."

"Each must choose their own path, nevertheless I tell you that you will have a son and she is his mother. Treat her as such and with time you will learn what you do not see in the here and now."

"What am I not seeing?"

"That those who put their trust in Me are kept from destruction."

Bitterly and yet in a way ashamed of myself, I blurted out, "And what of Francesca and her father, my friend! How have You kept them from destruction?"

"Bitterness does not become you son. It blinds you from seeing the reality of an answer you already know. Do not be afraid, for I have given you something sweet."

"Rorian?"

I jerked away from the door and combed my sweaty hair back. I glanced swiftly to Sonia.

Helpless not to do so I took in the vision of her dressed in a white bathrobe and trying to sound normal I said, "Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

Honesty beckoned, and with her I found myself wanting to be real so I replied with, "Not really. The food is here. Eat all you want. I'm going to get a shower."

I passed by her and forced myself not to linger. Her eyes watched me, but she said nothing.

Did she know that she'd been given away to a stranger? I did my best to force her out of my mind and move on with the business of getting clean, on the outside anyway.

*******

Feeling better, at least calmer, I stepped back into the main room. The first thing I noticed was that the food was untouched. The second was the sight of Sonia curled up on the sofa with a Bible in her hand.

She glanced up at me and I asked, "Isn't the food to your liking?"

She closed the Bible and got up. Softly she said, "Where I come from we wait for others in order to share our meal together."

She took a plate and put rather generous portions of everything upon it. I assumed it was for her so I started to reach for the empty plate when I found her holding the filled plate out to me.

I took it from her. "Thank you. Really sweet of you, but you didn't have to."

She shrugged and I watched those full breasts bump against the front of the robe that she wore.

She spoke as she filled her own plate with smaller portions, "It is just how I am."

"Sweet." I said in reflection as I remembered what had been said about this woman to me.

She glanced at me with that disarming smile I would never have believed that she possessed after seeing the stoicness of her face reserved for a room full of monsters. Softly she said as if in reply to my statement, "Yes."

Gathering herself, she whispered, "Thank you for giving me back that part of myself."

I glanced down at the plate of food that now lay all but forgotten in my lap and said, "Thank God, not me."

"I have." She said.

I expected her to sit back down on the sofa then, but she didn't. Instead, she came and sat down on the floor in front of my chair.

Her side rested in against my leg. Swallowing I gazed at the crown of her head and the wealth of rich brunette hair that sprung from it.

I couldn't help myself. Reaching out I let my hand rest briefly on her hair to see if it really was as soft as it looked.

It was. I took my hand away.

She glanced up at me and I said, "You don't need to sit on the floor."

Giving me a deep look of purposeful intent, she said, "I know."

"Then why don't you sit on the sofa?"

"Because I like it here better." She went back to eating and driven by the need to do something other than to reach out my hand and touch her hair again I ate to.

She served herself desert and when I was ready she put her food aside and served me mine before going back to hers. I admired the gusto that she had eaten with but found myself lacking in terms of the same ambition.

She remained seated until I was finished and then standing up, she said, "I'm going to bed."

I nodded and watched her go. Once she was gone from view I snapped myself out of the trance that she had put me in.

I had work to do. I needed to make a passport.

Going to the door of the bedroom I knocked. It opened.

Her eyes were welcome pools of invitation as they gazed up into mine. I looked away and managed to get out, "I... I need a photo, of your face."

I held up a camera and dutifully she came out of the bedroom and posed up against a wall and I took the shot that I needed.

"Do you need anything else, Rorian?"

"No, I...... have a good night's sleep."

"I will." She said smiling and closed the door of the bedroom once more.

Going to my laptop I began the process of falsifying an alias. Typing my fingers filled in her new name.... Sonia Marlowe.

CHAPTER THREE

Hold Me

Startled, I jolted awake. Instinctively, my hand was reaching for a weapon of some kind, but I stopped as I took in the sight of Sonia standing nearby.

Blinking, I straightened up in the chair. Glancing at a clock I saw that it was nearly 2 AM. Rubbing at my eyes, I then focused them on her.

She was holding the passport I had made for her. She looked troubled and on the verge of tears once again.

Was it the last name?

"Sonia I......" She glanced at me and said with heartfelt emotion, "This is good! Very good! You do good work. I.... I never be able to repay you for this! I love my country, but I want out of Russia and you now make it possible."

She nodded, as if talking to herself and set the passport book down. She folded her arms around herself and remained standing there solitarily staring at the far wall of the room.

Her body jerked on a sob.

"Sonia?"

She glanced at me as big tears started to fall, whispering she said, "I know I ask for a lot, but could you..." Her lips closed emotionally and then she looked away as if embarrassed to say more.

"Could I what?" I asked gently.

She glanced back to me and on an open sob said, "Hold me?"

My arms opened and she was climbing onto my lap in the next second. Her weight on me and proximity was nice, but her crying was not.

Each bitter pain driven sob hurt my soul to hear. I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. I just held her and rocked back and forth gently in the chair.

Time went by and her sobs settled down. Her head was pressed against my chest as she huddled in against me as if she was a child and not the full-grown woman that she was.

Her voice thick with emotion she spoke, "Do you think of me as a whore?"

"No, I do not." I said with conviction.

She sobbed harder then and pressed her face in against me, even as her hand glancingly touched at my throat be-fore darting away.

Whispering, she spoke, "I fight so hard still I go no-where, just used. I die, if not for my God. He tell me to hold on. I did so just for Him. I not really know why. I just remember as girl that He is real and I believed, and in my worst moment He sent me a good man."

Still holding her I looked away to the far side of the room. It was hard to speak, but needful just the same, so I said, "Sonia, I'm not a good man."

"Say what you like, I know different story."

I wanted to convince her of the truth, but at the same time I wanted to believe she could be right. Her head lifted away and with those gorgeous eyes she inspected me as if aware of my internal struggle.

She asked me then something that actually angered me, "You hurt little kids? Boys? Girls?"

"No!!!" I exclaimed.

"You rape woman or man?"

I about dumped her out of my lap onto the floor. Tight-lipped I said, "I don't do men and I've taken no woman against her will."

Gazing deeply into my eyes, she took one finger and pressed it against my chest over my heart and said, "See, you prove point. You good man."

I started to speak, but her hand covered my mouth. "Passport says I am your wife. True?"

Her hand moved away.

Unsure of myself, I said, "Just to get out of Russia. After we're free and clear, I'll give you different papers. Set you up with a place, a job, and some money."

Gazing deeply into my eyes, she said, shaking her head, "What if I don't want? What if I want to stay...... with you?"

Gathering in a shaky breath I said, "At some point you likely will die if you stay with me. I do not live an easy life. I...."

She cut me off with a shrug and a smile, "So. Who wants easy life?"

"Most people actually."

"I not most people."

"No, you definitely are not." I confirmed.

"So, if I choose to stay...... I be your wife?"

"Yes."

"You want me as wife?"

"Yes."

"I yours. I serve you. I take care of you. I do whatever you want. One request though. Please..." Her emotions had risen again.

Feeling sharply driven by emotion myself, I asked, "Pease what?"

"Please do not ever sell me. I not bare that again!"

Oh God, what had this girl been through? Emotionally angry at the reality of this girl's past, I said, "I would never do that!"

She smiled and pushing her hand over the top of her own heart, she said, "I know. It makes me happy."

I stared at her at a complete loss as to what to do. The woman completely undid every layer of protection I had erected to shield my inner core.

I looked away only to look back as her fingers stroked across my cheek. She was going to kiss me.

I put my hand between us and said, "No, you need to think this through. You're emotional and you're still dealing with the aftereffects of a traumatic situation. You need rest."

I stood up and carried her into the bedroom and all the while she did nothing but smile at me. I laid her down on the bed and stepped away.

Still smiling, she said, "Good night Rorian. Thank you for holding me."

I nodded and backed away, all the while knowing that if I wanted to I could stay and pull the fluffy white robe open and satiate myself with the body I had already mostly seen, but now was ever so much more desirable as I took into account the thriving intellect and sweet persona this woman was made of on the inside.

I closed the door of the bedroom and leaned back against it. Why was I resisting?

God had already told me she would bear my child. With surety I knew that would happen.

So why not go back in and take her?

I rubbed a hand across my face and mopped the sweat away. Because it wouldn't be right. Not tonight.

She needed time. She may not think so, but she did and I would give her that time.

I would give her time to be free. How many days that would be I did not hazard to guess. I hoped it wasn't many and yet I hoped my resolve lasted for more than just one.

I looked upward, "Am I doing the right thing?"

No answer. The only answer from that I could discern was apparently I wasn't doing the wrong thing at least. If I was I had no doubt that God would have set me straight.

The girl had faith and a soul still tender enough to love. God surely loved her more than me.

Within my soul, then I felt my Creator say, "I love you the same."

*******

The Next Day

Tanya had outdone herself. I had picked up the clothes at a secure drop point early this morning, swept them for the digital version of bugs and made it back to the hotel unfollowed all before Sonia had woken up. Now she was wearing just one of several outfits.

She looked back and forth from herself to her image in the bathroom mirror. Glancing at me for like the 20th time she asked, "You like?"

What was there not to like about this woman?

"Very nice. Tanya is getting extra. Ready to go?"

"Yes."

We left and I carried both suitcases even though Sonia tried to fight me for the one that was hers.

"Nope, allow me to be a gentleman and carried the lady's bag."

She stopped fighting me after that and quite docilely followed along happy as could be it seemed with the world. I wouldn't be happy until I had her outside of Russia and had my shaft buried to the hilt in her warm silken depths.

I had not slept the rest of the night at all. At one point I had almost gone to her, but my resolve had held.

Right now it was a near thing. The clothes were nice and she made them beautiful, but all I wanted was for her to be without anything on.

Seemingly overnight after being in her proximity for but not even a full day yet she had turned me into a cave-man. Odd as it sounded I very much wanted to put my child within her.

It was a complete reversal for a man who'd never wanted to have kids before. In truth, I'd always wanted them, but I could never face the fear of how I might en-danger them.

What had changed? Nothing really, except God had said that was going to be the way of it and I believed Him now more so than ever.

*******

Stepping aboard the private jet I set the suitcases down. Nervously Sonia eased by me and stood in a spot that I knew she considered to be out of the way, but she actually had just gotten in the way.

I went to brush by her. Her hand touched my arm and I stopped.

Hesitantly, she said, "This rich man's plane. I...... is yours?"

"Well, I'm not poor, but no the plane is not mine. I decided last night on a different tactic. Instead of risking a border crossing and so on I called in a favor a man owed me in order to bypass all the dangers and get you out of Russia safely and quickly. Admittedly the man's character is in question and I wouldn't at all put it past him to be the kind of man to frequent such a place as you were kept in, but when it comes to his word I've found him to be trust-worthy."

"And if he's not?" She queried.

"Then I'll kill him and once more he knows that."

I eased on by her and went forward to speak with the captain. Before long the plane was taxiing towards the runway.

I went back to the cabin musing on the fact of how one never quite knew what one would do. Never would I have dreamed of myself cashing in a favor owed to me by a Russian crime syndicate boss.

The man was wicked no doubt about it, but for all that he did have something of a code of honor and once upon a time I had done something for him that he'd taken very personally. Last night when I had called him and bluntly told him the situation and what I wanted he had just laughed and laughed.

"That was you! Oh my dear Rorian what I wouldn't give to have you on my payroll! Consider it done. My plane will be ready and it will take you wherever you wish."

"I appreciate this Dmitri."

"It is nothing! It pleases me to know that it is to be a Russian flower to grace your heart. She'll be good for you. Better than some American woman. They know nothing of men like you and me. Yes, do not worry, I will handle everything."

"One more thing Dmitri. I don't want some kind of vendetta following after Sonia for the rest of her life. If there's a price to be paid for the lost henchmen along with a grievance of some kind I'll pay it in order for her to be free of the past. If you could see to arranging that I would appreciate it as a personal favor that I would owe you in return."