Ah Santa, I can Explain - Norris

"Oh Norris," she said almost in horror. "I didn't mean to do that. Its just that I haven't slept much and I..."

"Don't worry," I replied. "But I have to tell you, I enjoyed this so much. Can we do this again?"

"I have the rest of the day and tomorrow off," she said right away. "Dinner tonight?"

"I was just about to ask Amber," I replied, then took a chance. "Amber, is it me or do I feel something special between us?"

She looked at me for a few seconds and smiled.

"You're not alone Norris," she replied. "I don't ask men out to dinner often. In fact, you are the first."

"I'm honored," I replied. "I have to ask one more thing. Are you involved with anyone?"

"No one has a claim on me Norris," she replied. "I date, but no one special. What about you and the runner?"

It was my turn to blush.

"Well, that seems to have run its course. She left to go to Europe without even saying goodbye. What does that tell you?"

"If you were my man, I would hold on to you," she said staring into my eyes.

And that's how we started. That was our day one. We went to dinner, to a dance club, and then took a carriage ride. By the end of the evening, we were holding hands and kissing like mad. There was the usual tension near the end of the night when we both clung to each other.

"I'll leave it up to you," I said. "Do I pick you up tomorrow some time or do you stay with me for breakfast?"

I got my answer in the form of her hand over my growing bulge.

"They have breakfast in bed at your hotel?" she asked with a grin.

We were in my room in fifteen minutes and there was clothes coming off. I think a button or two may have flown across the room. All I know is that there were women before Amber and then there was just Amber. I have never felt so close to a woman on the first time together; ever. There was something about her touch. There has never been anyone else since.

Until the divorce.

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I had my hand in that. Big time. I knew Amber had a sex drive for three women. I knew she needed it every day; more than once. I knew I should have trusted her but... I just couldn't. I tried a few times, and I chickened out each and every one. Going back to Iraq and fighting in the streets would have been easier than telling Amber why I had a problem getting it up. How does a man talk to his wife about that? As if she didn't know I had a problem? What the fuck was I thinking?

Like a delusional moron, I thought things would get better, but instead they got worse. And the more Amber pushed me to have sex, the worse it got. And as if that was not enough, I knew she needed it and would probably go look for it elsewhere. If she did, how long would our marriage last? She would find someone else and then what? In divorce these days; the man gets shafted and the woman gets the kids and most of the stuff. So I knew, if she cheated, I had to catch her.

Not only was I in denial about my erection problems, but I was paranoid and blaming Amber for something she had not done yet. Or had she? See what I mean? I was going nuts.

I contacted a buddy of mine and he recommended another ex-military guy and his wife to checkup on Amber. They had both been CID in the Army and had started their own investigative service company. These two had a knack for catching cheaters. And sure enough, while Amber was in Dallas they called me and send me a video and pictures to see. I watched a bit of it and threw up.

The next day, while Karen, my mother in law was watching the kids I showed up with my lawyer and showed her the evidence. I felt sorry for Karen. She had lost her husband soon after Amber and I got married five years before. She had recovered by last year, only to have me dump this on her. I saw the pain and disappointment in her face and felt like shit. She had not done anything like that. It was Amber's doing.

Only it wasn't just Amber's doing, was it? Do you know what happens to an oversexed woman who gets cut off? She goes shit-bat-crazy thinking of sex constantly.

Before she met me, she had three guys she saw on a rotating basis. None were boyfriend material, but all were sexually capable and willing to be fuck buddies without the complications. Amber traveled a lot and couldn't maintain a relationship with gaps in sex. So she just didn't have steady men in her life. She had convinced herself that she didn't need that. But looking at how she reacted to me when she met me and how we got married in just a few months, I say she didn't know it, but needed a steady man and family.

So we started that family and had two wonderful twins. A boy and girl. The perfect family right? Perfect. I hate that word now. It reminds me of my arrogance. I thought I was perfect with the perfect wife. But as you have seen, ours was a house of cards doomed to collapse.

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Meeting Amber at Karen's Apartment.

"She is over at my place you know," Karen said that morning.

She was coming over to watch the kids and I was getting ready for work. I stopped cold as I reached for my coffee cup.

"Don't spill it Norris," she said with that look of hers.

"Yes ma'am." I replied and sipped carefully.

I don't know why, but Karen has a knack for bossing me around like my mom used to as a kid. I am a grown man, father and owner of my own company. Yet Karen talks to me like a ten year old and I just do as she says. Not that she does this often. But when she does she gives me a feeling that things are as they used to be before I divorced her daughter. When we were all family.

"So, what are your plans for this morning?" she asked staring at me with those piercing eyes.

The woman is a witch!

"Do you think she will talk to me?" I asked nervously.

"Explain it to me Norris. You have the Medal of Honor. They don't hand that out to cowards. So why are you afraid to talk to your wife?"

"I don't know Karen," I replied sheepishly. "I don't get it myself. I have been through so much in my life. All astounding successes. Yet Amber has been my failure."

"Is my daughter dead?"

"No Karen! What are you talking about?"

"When my daughter is dead, you would have failed. She is not, so all you have to do is get your Mr. not so perfect as I thought I was ass over there and talk, to, your, wife. Is it rocket science or something?"

"No Karen," I replied all tongue tied. "I just..."

I swear I never knew she was that fast. Karen flashed across the kitchen and slapped me across the face before I could react.

"Damn Karen! What the fuck!"

"Good," she said challenging me with her hands on her hips. "Are you pissed? Mad? What are you going to do about it?"

Then Karen smiled at me and reached over to place her hand where she had struck me.

"Son, listen to me. If you don't go there and talk to her, you will regret it for the rest of your life. You know it don't you?"

She was right. I would regret it. Ever since Amber and I had broken up I had sleepwalked through life. I hadn't divorced her to start life anew. I had used divorce as punishment. Then after I came to terms with my own mistakes, I was too scared to confront her. What the fuck was wrong with me? She was right.

I had faced off enemy killers and made short work of them without batting an eyelash. But talking to my wife scared the fuck out of me. This was beyond reconciliation. There was no way Amber would come back after I divorced her using the prenup clause taking away the kids and all our assets from her. She saw the kids once a week and lived in a shabby apartment in the Capitol. She wasn't poor by a longshot, but I had kicked her out of our lifestyle, circle of friends and the luxury that our money used to provide her.

"OK," I replied taking a deep breath. "I'll go."

Karen nodded and turned away but stopped. She looked back at me with that admonishing look again.

"Don't fuck up Christmas Norris."

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Amber's Letter to Santa

It was a bit over a week later when Karen let me know she and I had to watch something on TV together.

"Is it important?" I asked. "I was going to watch something on ESPN"

For a second I thought she would bitch slap me again and I pulled away. The woman is a witch. I'm not kidding. What the fuck is it with the women in that family. I can just imagine what will happen when my daughter grows up. Three of them!

"When is it on?" I asked.

"Nine PM," she said staring right at me.

Nine in the evening is when Amber's show is on. She didn't mean to... did she? But she did. Fucken witch!

We sat there and watched together as Amber did her Santa letters special. It was nice but to be honest, I was mesmerized by my wife's demeanor and to be honest by her beautiful crossed legs and those perfect breasts straining under that red dress that seemed painted on her. Those fuckers at Fox sure know how to use women for ratings. Not that I mind. But this was no ordinary Fox babe.

Then Amber said something abut a letter and my mind snapped back to reality as she began reading it.

"Dear Santa,

I can explain.

Last year, I made the biggest mistake of my life betraying the trust of my loving husband. In the process, I hurt him, shamed my mother and placed my children's future in jeopardy by succumbing to a selfish desire. My husband quite rightly divorced me, and I have spent the last year feeling sorry for myself, angry at myself and wishing at times for a hole to open up for me to fall in for what I have done.

The other day, my husband appeared and asked to talk to me. Instead of yelling at me recriminations and accusations that I deserve, he apologized to me. To me off all people! The person that betrayed and hurt him so much.

See Santa, my husband is a veteran suffering from PTSD. He told me that instead of trusting me and talking to me about what had caused it and what he was going through, he withdrew from me and felt responsible for what I did. Imagine that Santa! The man I wronged thought he was at fault.

Santa. I know I failed my husband at his time of need. Instead of making him talk to me, I focused on my wants and needs over his. I don't deserve this man Santa. I really don't. But I love him Santa. I love him with all my heart and want more than anything to spend the rest of my life making up to him for what I have done and to help him raise our two children.

So please Santa. If you can, put in a good word for me with God and see if there is room in my husband's heart to forgive me and let me be a part of his life again.

And thanks for that Barbie when I was five.

Sincerely yours,

Amber Jones. Formerly Amber Griggs."

She folded the letter and said:

"Norris, I am so sorry baby."

Then the screen went black before a commercial.

I managed to keep it together in front of Karen and bolted for the bathroom. Once the door closed I ran water over my face and stared at the mirror.

Karen's admonishment kept flashing in my brain. "Don't fuck up Christmas Norris."

I got myself together and went back to the living room. Amber's show was over, so Karen had turned it off. She patted the seat next to her on the couch motioning me to sit. Like Pavlov's dog, I did as she asked.

"So," she said. "The ball is on your court Norris. She just apologized to you in front of the whole nation and then some. What are you going to do?"

I looked at Karen in near panic. I never expected Amber to do what she had just done. On one hand I was ecstatic she still loved me and wanted to patch things up. But on the other hand, I was confused at what Karen and I had done.

It was just one time, but still, I had sex with my ex wife's mother. The wife I was still in love with.

Dilemma

"Karen, how do we deal with what you and I did?" I asked.

"That Norris was therapy for you and a great evening for me that I will never forget," she said, and I felt a but coming on. "Now you know everything works Norris."

"No Buts? No regrets and issues down the road?"

"Norris. You are a sweet and handsome young man. The sex with you was out of this world. I will remember it for the rest of my life. But I am almost fifty. You are what?"

"Thirty two," I replied with a polite smile.

"The most you and I can have if you and Amber don't work things out is sex. What do you young people call it? Oh yes. Booty call. Right?"

"Right," I replied as we smiled to one another.

"And there is another thing Norris." I waited for her to say it. "If you and Amber fix things up, you and the kids wont need me. Even if you do need me, you will have Amber. And I will never get between my daughter and her husband if you two get back together."

"I understand," I replied.

"And there is another thing. I want to find someone to have a relationship with. Someone close to my age Norris. I loved my husband and always will. But he is gone. Till death do us part right? Well, he parted. And I am starting to get lonely. I want to thank you for reminding me that I had to live and find my own man."

"Who ever he is Karen, he is a lucky man and doesn't know it."

"The asshole is ignoring me, and we haven't even met yet," she giggled, and I laughed with her.

"Karen, now I know where Amber gets her personality."

"Stop," she said as a tear ran down her cheek. "I may be cutting you off when you and my girl get back together. But that doesn't mean I don't have feelings or you. I love you already and want so bad for you to go to her. You are going to her aren't you?"

I looked away.

"I'm still thinking about it Karen. Please let me make the decision on my own."

Karen gave me a peck on the cheek and went out the door for the night to let me think and decide what to do.

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Lance and I have it out

"Mr. Griggs, you have a call from a Mr. Lance Hendricks at NBC news," my assistant Jenny Rivera said. "Shall I put him through?"

Lance fucken Hendricks. Amber's choice of walking penis to cheat on me. He and I had talked some months back when he had come to my office to apologize and plead Amber's case. What the fuck did he want? My first thought was to tell Jenny to tell him to fuck off. But then that wasn't her job. Telling your wife's love to fuck off is not something you delegate to your favorite assistant. She kept my business life organized. Kind of like a work wife with out the benefits. More important.

"Put him through," I replied with attitude.

"Oh I feel the Christmas spirit," Jenny said and connected me.

"What do you want Lance?" I asked.

To be honest, I should have kicked the shit out of the guy the first day I met him. Its not that he intimidated me in looks or anything. In a different time and place we may have gotten along. Except from one thing; he had fucked my wife knowing she was not his to fuck. It's not that he didn't have a wife of his own. That hot piece of ass State Department spokes woman was and is still his wife. But as my darling wife and he put it, their spouses were not there.

"Norris," he replied with a polite voice. "It's Christmas man and Amber practically begged you to take her back on nationwide TV. Why don't you..."

"Lance, did she put you up to this?" I asked now getting angry at him.

"No Norris," he replied in that all so polite and apologetic manner of his. "I have stayed away from Amber now for months. Just like I promised you I would. I am honestly sorry for what happened. I am doing this for one reason. Now fucken listen to me and then you can hang up and never talk to me again. Come to DC and beat me up. I don't care. Just don't damage the face OK?"

"OK asshole, talk." I said.

"Norris. I have known Amber for over ten years. There has never been anyone in that time she was in love with. She had men friends for sex, but there was no man she was ever in love with. I never understood that and worried about her. But it was her way and I was just a friend. A friend she called the day she met you. Know what she told me giddy as a schoolgirl?"

"What?"

"That she may have found a guy worth going solo with. You and she had not even been in bed with and she thought you were special enough to call me in London to tell me. I was happy for her and hoped to Gawd you would do right by her. And you did. Marriage, children the works. I'm still trying to get the wife to have a child. Forget about that. Back to Amber. The thing is man that she has been in love with you since the first time you and her laid eyes on each other. You swept her off her feet. There is no one. NO ONE other than you in her heart. DO you understand?"

I was silent trying to process this.

"Look Norris. I have told you this before. Amber is a very sexual person. I guess she was lonely or had not seen you for a while. But she just needed some relief. How long had it been for you two?"

"That's personal Lance, but I had seen her two days before."

It was Lance's turn to be quiet.

"Norris, I know Amber. She may love and need sex, but she can hold out two weeks if she had to. You are telling me that you and she had sex two days before and she threw down with me in Dallas over that?"

"Lance, you are crossing a line here."

"Maybe I am," he replied. "But I will swear on a stack of bibles that Amber never badmouthed you with me. In fact it was the opposite. The woman loved you then, loves you now and will probably die loving you. And you may not want to hear this, but you don't deserve her the way you are stringing her along."

"I'm not stringing her," I replied. "I divorced her."

"Bullshit Norris," Lance replied. "You know she loves you and you are letting her hang. Is this about revenge from last year. If it is, you need some therapy. Get over it. Either take her back or call her and tell her its over."

"How do you know all this?" I asked him.

It was his turn to be quiet.

"I don't go near Amber," he finally replied. "But I do talk to her on the phone. I never promised to stop that. I am her friend. The only one she trusts."

That pissed me off right there.

"I was supposed to be the one she trusted!" I said gruffly.

"And did you?" Lance replied. "Were you honest with her?"

"Fuck you Lance," I replied. "I may have had problems, but I didn't cheat on her."

"Oh goodie for you," he mocked me the hesitated. He seemed like he knew more than he was letting on. "You have the moral high ground do you?"

"Lance, what exactly has she told you?"

"Why should I tell you?" he replied. "So you can use it as ammunition to toss at her? An excuse to punish her more by letting her hang out to dry?"

"No, I just want to know..."

"Well know this Mr. War Hero better than the rest of us. You do this and break her heart again. But some day, your kids will be old enough to understand what you fucken did to their mother. And I will make sure they know what a heartless asshole their father was when their mother needed him."

I was seething by then. I so wanted to yell back at him, curse him out and hang up on him. But one thing held me back. Lance fucken Hendricks... was right.

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Amber's Christmas - Her story

It was a dreary night at DC. It had snowed two days before and then had rained and gotten cold. There was ice all over. Good thing most people were out of town or else traffic would have been a mess.

The ratings had come in from the show and they had been great. But as the days passed and Norris had not contacted me, people started to wonder if it had been a bad idea. The email was frantic at first. Some network types wanted me to do appearances and talk about it, but I balked. Roger, the network head took my side and ruled in my favor.