All Comments on 'Ainhoa'

I wish that my first time was like that.

Well done. 5*

5 stars. I particularly like your balance of imagery, character personalities and their dialogue.

Lovely story, bittersweet ending which makes us wonder, will they meet again, will he seek her out on their return journey, or will it be just a memory to be cherished foever.

Beautifully written.

What a beautiful, touching story. I was so sad at the end. So full of emotion. Simply fabulous writing. Thank you for sharing.

Great story good ending!

Thanks so much everyone for the kind words :)

More stories coming in! Give me a follow to stay tuned :P

Were earned! Absolutely!

I think it’s kind of sad how this ended up. Clearly he’d made a connection with her and then ended up driving away. You’d have hoped they had a bit more time together at least.

One of the hardest part of growing up is the need for experience. And the appreciation for that experience.

Each of my loves are part and parcel of me until I die. And they made me who I am now. But that first one does have a special place.

I enjoyed reading it very much. The wife wants to know if they stopped by Lupita's place on the way home.

Lovely first time story! Very well written

Excellent story. The cacti weren't saguaro, though. It grows only in Arizona and to the east of the Sea of Cortez in Mexico.

The cardon, a close relative, grows on the Baja peninsula and is very similar but gets even larger.

Sweet & Loving!

Thank you.

More, please!

Lovely story , but it made me sad.

I wish they could get back together.

I love all your stories I have read so far. I left my detailed appreciation on the first one I read.

You write so well. You captured Ainhoa's sultry beauty perfectly. 5*

My second of your stories and it is so refreshing to relish in the details and plot of a story that is so much more than a flowery description of the mechanics of the act(s)!

Once again, the natural flow of the piece was amazing, perfect dialogue and flow of the story, the characters dictating the pace. The epitome of romance.

Great writing! The story flowed as well as the conversations!

Terrific story, beautifully done!

I loved it, it was such a sweet story and as usual very well written. 5🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

very tender; hope he comes back to her in next chapter. found this on your list after rereading one of my all-time favorites on Literotica, ''Star-Crossed."

I absolutely love this!

***

You captured the essence of very rural Mexico, as it is like poor places I have visited on the Gulf side in Tamaulipas that have looked very much like this - - right down to the sometimes blustery summer wind. Although some might believe it a tad stereotypical, I enjoyed how you pictured Enrique– and you even got his nickname exactly right (Kiké) - - in his chair, with his tequila and even his book. Of course, the girl absolutely steals the show, and she is an absolute treasure to the story. (If you like tequila enough to drink, you should try either Campo Azul in any variety–although I would suggest the 750 ml Extra Añejo–or any of the 1800 brand, at least the reposado. I definitely had one shot in Enrique’s honor and another for Rick and Ainhoa.)

***

I have to ask this: are you fluent in Spanish? I note under your web handle that you put four Spanish words, but that could imply that you know enough Spanish to recognize certain things; however, how you develop Ainhoa and how you write her demonstrated advanced knowledge of the language and the culture - - even one of the most likely cultural/linguistic mistakes that she makes in the story with a phrase that she had not heard before. Regardless of if you are this linguistically and culturally fluent in Spanish, or you got someone to assist you in writing that part, you nail it completely! It turns out that her initial misunderstanding of the phrase “skinny dipping" strikes me as similar to the misunderstanding that Kamala Lopez's character in the movie “Born in East LA” has when she hears Cheech Marin use the phrase “disco bunnies.” Furthermore, I have to ask if you ever knew somebody by this name? I'm dying with curiosity, because you nail every exact characteristic she should have, down to the type of skirt that she wears - - including how tidily she keeps the bar and how handily she manages her customers. There is nothing out of character about her at all! What I love the most is you honor her fully by showing at least the necessary understanding that she should not only speak Spanish, but she's not just a stereotype. I have read enough stories lately that seem to love to use a Latina, but it's only in the stereotypical way that she might be fiery and passionate, but only in having sex; in other words, she's a paper-thin character, speaks no Spanish and is not fleshed out at all. You tackle all that head on and handle all of the details masterfully. But just regarding the names is something that's so important that too many overlook and readily dismiss– and that's a huge mistake. The movie that highlights this briefly but brilliantly is the one called “The Hate You Give", and Maverick who plays the children's father bestowed names upon them hoping they would reflect those exact qualities - - and they did. This alone proves no name is random, and no name in any story should be treated as trivial nor unimportant. You avoid this error and I tip my hat to how much you cared for this account.

***

It's curious that she knows how to play Asturias, which is actually a very advanced piece in classical guitar. It's obvious she is fiery, as you capture her fiery scowl when Enrique says her mother returned to Spain to take care of her mother. You also mentioned how haunting and restless the peace is– and you are certainly right about those two qualities - - although the selection can also be argued to be a stir to action (where she initiates things with Rick) and a cause for deep reflection at various stages of the performance. While the girl is passionate, she controls her passion, displaying her calm power. She is also quite observant and moderately calculating, as evidenced by how she structures her "never did I ever” during the drinking game to uncover Rick's secret. By the way, I just thought of a nearly perfect song to sum her up: It is called “La chula” by Maná. If you've never heard the song, I think you should listen to it, as I think you'll enjoy it and if you need to as well, you can look up a translation of the lyrics and know exactly what every last piece refers to.

***

What I treasure the most about this piece is how you flip the script by making her the assertive one when she engages with Rick; you managed to draw a typical encounter in the sense that poor Rick is a tad clueless, but not because he really wants to be; he at least realizes his mistake and allows her to also experience the same pleasure. They have a wonderful closing interlude before he leaves, so it's clear this isn't the type of conquest that Manny supported the entire time; it's obvious they feel the same way for each other and experienced the same kind of depth through their coupling. This diametrically opposes most people's first time, and I was over the moon to read this. You even nail the major body language clue of when she places her tongue in her cheek, which if somebody notices it clearly indicates her sexual attraction - - in addition to the fact he managed to catch her staring at him when he was appreciating one of the two permanent residents of the place talking about their relationship (also a true and necessary inclusion for this story).

***

Despite the fact it's been at least 4 years since you originally penned the story, I truly hope you decide to expand it, because you did leave the door open with how Rick could return up the peninsula and stop to see her, as there's no logical reason for him to skip doing that since he's going to have to go back the same way to L.A.; after that, it's assumed she would only be studying for 4 years at UNAM, so if you were willing, you could show if they were still basically etched into each other's souls like this account implies, or you could kind of show if their lives took a different turn. however you want to look at it, you have many ways to explore this if you choose to, and I would love to see you do it.

***

Definitely worthy of a hands-down 5!