All Comments on 'AirRnR Ch. 01'

Rushed. Run-on sentences. Improbable story with a disregard for craft. With all the auto-spell errors unchecked, it was obvious you never proof-read your writing. If you don't care, why would your reader?

Third-person narrative doesn't indicate omniscient narrator. No way Laura would know Chrissy was being ass-fucked unless she had X-Ray vision. Laura and Chrissy both smile when they get slapped. Pretty unlikely. Characters are all unpleasant and superficial and unlikely.

Read you own work!

That was a weird read to me.