Aislynn

"Make the list," he snapped. "I will go." He opened a drawer and handed her a notepad and pencil.

"Oh... yes, of course. I understand. Are you always up this early?" she asked lightly, her stomach churning. She could feel his eyes on her as she sat down to make the list.

"Yes."

"Me too," she answered softly. She purposely made the list very specific and used names that weren't widely known. She wanted him to cave and let her go to the store. She wanted to be able to get out in public and get a chance to be free of him. She peeked up at him and he was watching her as he drank his coffee. "How old are you?" she asked him. She still couldn't believe a man his age was so incredibly inept when it came to women.

"Why does that matter?" he demanded. "I didn't ask you how old you were! I didn't assume you were too young."

"No... I was just asking. And I am not assuming you are too young," she managed, her mouth twitching in an involuntary smile. He was touchy about his age.

"It doesn't matter," he persisted. "I am as capable as I need to be."

"I can see that," she said softly, staring hard at the notepad. She hadn't meant to upset him.

"Do I need to..." he began, moving closer

Aislynn pushed off of the chair to the floor, flinching down and covering her head.

There was silence for so long that she peeked out of her arms, shaking from head to toe. He was glaring down at her in a stunned sort of shock. "I wasn't going to hurt you!" he yelled, making her flinch again and let out a yelping sob.

The chair screeched as he jerked it across the floor and she screamed and balled up even smaller on the floor, her stomach roiling in fear.

His hands on her sent her into full, hysterical tears. He was going to choke her and kill her this time!

He pried her arms off of her head as he pulled her up into his lap, then held her wrists in one hand as he forced her face up to look at him. "No more!" he demanded helplessly. "No more of that, I don't like it! Stop! No one is hurting you, just stop! No one will hurt you. Stop hiding, stop crying! I won't hurt you. No one will hurt you, I won't let them! Just... stop! Stop crying. I don't like this! I don't like seeing you this way!"

Aislynn managed to stop her hiccoughing sobs, but she couldn't stop shaking, or the tears that rolled down her cheeks. He held her against his chest too hard, as if he could force her to silence with strength.

"I'm sorry!" she whispered fearfully. "I'm sorry! I will be good!"

"Be quiet! Stop being sorry! Stop crying! I'm not mad! I wasn't mad! I wasn't upset, just stop!" he growled desperately. "I was only going to show you! I am as capable as any man your age! Stop crying!"

"I will!" she cried, hiding her face again as he raged. "I'm sorry! Please, I'm sorry, I will try!"

"STOP! CRYING!"

Aislynn screamed as he yelled in her face and tried to cover her face as she struggled. Nausea swept over her and she vomited all over both of them.

"Listen to me," he demanded, his tone menacingly calm. "You will stop crying right now. You are upsetting yourself. Hurting yourself. You WILL stop. I won't let you hurt you either! So stop! Calm yourself down. Stop crying, stop being sick. No one is going to hurt you. No one."

Aislynn could only sob into his chest, his arms holding her painfully against him. Her head and neck were at a bad angle and her arm was pinned at a worse angle, about to snap. She tried to stop crying, to stop panicking, but she was in pain and she was terrified.

"Stop," he repeated, shaking her slightly.

Her shoulder popped right out of joint and her high pitched scream was piercing before she blacked out.

She woke on the bed, shivering with cold, her body aching. She had no clothes on and her hair was wet, but she couldn't move. Her arm... her shoulder was still out of place. She could hear him talking again, but it was distant. Across the room.

"...don't know what to do! She is so fragile, she just... broke! No! I wasn't trying to hurt her, I was trying to help her, but she just... she just... snapped! Like a toothpick! I didn't even know it was going to happen! How do I fix it? Her arm is broken, up at the shoulder I think... No, it's swollen up at the shoulder... She is passed out. She's been out a while. I had to bathe her and get her sickup off of both of us... Well no one told me not to move her arm, John! I don't deal with this shit! I kill and I hurt! I don't fix! Just tell me what to do!"

"W-water," Aislynn managed hoarsely.

Cutter spun to her and hurried to her. "She's awake, she's talking! What do I do?"

"Water please," she whispered to him, trying to tug at the blankets with her good arm.

He pulled a sheet over her and hurried to get her some water. "You need to send Billy!" he yelled into the phone angrily. "Just send him! I have to go!"

He tossed the phone down and tried to ease her up to help her drink the water.

"No," she whispered. "It's out of place. My shoulder. Please... Oh god... it hurts. I just need a sip, please. I can tell you how to put it back."

He helped her sip the water, then she talked him through putting her shoulder back in place. That ended in her rolling off the bed and vomiting on the floor.

She was in too much pain to even care when he carried her back to the bathroom and held her in the shower, still scowling as he washed her off. As soon as he wrapped her in a blanket and laid her on the couch, she passed out again, asleep this time.

She woke alone, the place dark save for the light coming from the bathroom, the door almost shut, but cracked. She knew he was gone. She groaned as she got up and limped to the bathroom, then found herself some clothes to put on. She was at the table with more toast when he came in the door.

He froze in the doorway, his eyes taking her in completely as he held bags of food. He moved closer slowly, as if trying not to spook her. "You sick up again?" he asked, turning so his back wasn't to her as he put things on the counter.

"No. Sorry... I have stomach issues... sorry."

"Stop being sorry," he snapped, then tried to take a calming breath. "I'm not yelling at you... I am telling you you don't have to be sorry about that. I don't care. Just... stop being scared and crying and shit. No one is going to hurt you. John says you think I am pissed and I'm going to hurt you. I'm not."

"You did," she whispered.

"On accident! I didn't know you broke so easy! I was trying to calm you!"

"Calm me by choking me out?" she asked, her temper flaring.

"Oh..." he grumbled. "I didn't mean then. I meant... just... stop. Stop being scared of me. I won't hurt you. Here. I got some of the food, but... I didn't know all of it. Neither did the people who worked there. That's my shirt."

"I know... I couldn't find my clothes."

"I had to throw them away, you threw up on them."

"I can wash them."

"In my washing machine?!? It will get all over everything."

"That's... not how that works. It washes away clean... just like anything else."

"But it got everywhere and some of it was... chunky."

"Gross. Don't talk about it or I will throw up again. Still. It will wash, I promise. Did you throw my original clothes away too?"

"You threw up all over them!" he scowled, as if he had already explained that.

Aislynn sighed and went to the trash can, pulling off the lid and finding all of her clothes to wash.

"I will get you new clothes," he snapped, stepping closer, his fists clenching.

"I promise it won't hurt anything for me to wash my clothes. That's what washing machines are for. It won't hurt anything or mess up anything. I have been washing my clothes for over a decade and never had a single issue. Ok? I promise it will be ok."

He glared, his jaw clenched, but said nothing as she went and put her clothes in the washing machine.

"You aren't using your arm," he noted as he watched her.

"No... it hurts."

"I thought you said it wasn't broken."

"It isn't... but it still hurts."

"Stay here... I have more things to bring in. Don't touch anything."

He went out the door, watching her warily the entire time. When he came back in, she was up on the counter putting food away.

"I told you not to...!" he began, yelling. When she flinched and cowered on the counter, covering her head, he forced himself to take another breath. "I TOLD you," he said through clenched teeth, "not to touch anything!"

"I was just putting things away! I wasn't hurting anything!"

"I don't care about anything! I don't want YOU to get hurt! Or hurt yourself more by moving around! I will put this shit away!" he growled, pulling her off the counter bodily.

She whimpered and clutched his shirt so she wouldn't fall when he dropped her. He didn't drop her, he set her down almost gently as she gripped him, panting.

"Look at me," he demanded, his hands holding her tightly. "I am not going to hurt you. Understand it. Know it. Stop being afraid of me."

"I'm sorry!" she whispered, trembling.

"Stop being sorry!" he growled. He picked her up and sat her in a chair, then took a knee in front of her, still holding her arms too tightly. "Stop being sorry, stop being afraid, stop crying!" he demanded. "Here!" He yanked another teddy bear out of a bag and thrust it at her, making her flinch again and throw her hands up to block him. He made an angry noise and stood up, still holding the toy out to her.

She took it gingerly, then used it as an excuse to flee across the room to put it with the others. She stayed over by the bed, curling up under the blankets and watching him with wide eyes.

He started to put things away violently, slamming doors and jerking open cupboards. He kept looking over at her, his expression dark and angry. Frustrated.

Before he finished, he closed the distance to her, pushing his sleeves up.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed, shaking her head and holding her hands up.

He stopped, looking at her in confusion. "I am NOT going to hurt you. I am coming to have words."

"I will be good!" she promised, watching his hands warily as he moved closer and sat down in front of her on the bed.

He growled as he clenched his teeth. "Stop being afraid!"

Aislynn nodded quickly, hunching down and looking down at her hands. His temper, his volatile nature... he would kill her without even realizing he was doing it.

"Look at me!"

She whimpered and jumped when he yelled and looked up quickly, afraid to meet his eyes. "I'll be good! I'll cook and whatever you ask... please, I'm sorry! I won't do anything unless you say so! I'll..."

"Stop! Stop talking! Stop! Just... just lay down right there and don't move. I am NOT going to hurt you. Settle yourself before you make yourself sick again."

"I'll clean it up! I'm sorry!"

"I don't care about the sick up. I just don't want you sick or hurt. Just... calm yourself. You need to stop crying and fearing me."

She nodded quickly. "I will!"

He let out another growl and stood up, making her flinch again. He stormed away from her and picked up the chair at his desk, throwing it across the room before pacing with his hands on his hips.

Aislynn cowered in the bed, trying to stay small and not move, not draw his attention while he was so angry.

He turned suddenly and left, storming out the door.

Aislynn was torn. Did she put away groceries, at least the cold things? Or did she stay where she was and not risk him getting more pissed when he came back? How long would he be gone?

She risked it, hurrying to put things away before putting her clothes in the dryer and going to the couch to curl up with her book. She watched the door warily, hardly able to focus on the book as she waited.

She was folding her laundry when he came back in, scowling. He held a large teddy bear in his arm and he strode across the huge room to her and thrust it at her.

"Here. Stop being afraid of me."

She took it, confused, then looked up at him, trying to read his expression. He only looked angry. "Cutter..." she began in a whisper. "A toy isn't... it won't help? Please don't be upset... you keep hurting me. If... if you really don't want me to be afraid... stop hurting me. Stop yelling at me..."

"I didn't mean to hurt you!" he yelled.

"Maybe not last time..." she whispered, hunching away from him again. "Please don't yell! Don't be mad!"

He growled. "You don't like the bears?" he demanded, changing the subject.

She blushed, looking down at the teddy bear. "I appreciate the gesture."

"But you don't like them."

She shook her head. "I'm not six. Sorry. I stopped playing with dolls a long time ago."

"But girls like teddy bears and stuffed animals!"

She flinched back again. "Not every girl!"

He huffed, then crossed the room to the door. She thought he was about to leave again, but he pulled out his phone and dialed. "John? She doesn't like the fucking bears... How the fuck should I know? How many? What kind? No, she's freaking out because she says I yelled at her and hurt her... Not on purpose! No, I'm not yelling at her! This is bullshit, how do I make her stop? Then ask Lydia or something! When will she be back? Fuck. Fine. Whatever. I will see you tomorrow." He hung up, then hovered there at the door a moment. "I'll be back!" he yelled before leaving, slamming the door.

Aislynn went to the couch warily, wondering again how he possibly thought being across the room kept her from hearing everything. How was anyone that clueless when it came to women?

He surprised her by being back in less than ten minutes.

He approached her slowly, then held out a chocolate candy bar. "Here," he growled.

Aislynn took it gingerly. "Thanks... uhhh... I can't eat this. Sorry. It has caffeine in it."

"Chocolate does not have caffeine! Girls like chocolates!"

"I do like it! Thank you for the gesture, but it does have caffeine and it makes me sick. You can google it. I'm sorry!"

He growled, his face red with anger as he clenched his fists. "Do you like ANYTHING?" he demanded.

She cowered, covering her head. "Yes! Yes, of course, but Cutter... please. I don't want anything! You don't have to get me things! All I want is for you to stop yelling and not hurt me! Or you can let me go!"

"Shut up! I am NOT letting you go, don't ask again! I am NOT going to hurt you! FUCK!"

Aislynn cried out when he screamed and went to the floor to cover her head and curl into a ball.

He growled and bent over her, picking her up as she was and carrying her to the bed. He laid a blanket over her and turned and walked away. She peeked out of her arms and watched him pace, extremely agitated.

He turned back to her. "What do you like?"

Aislynn sat up slightly. "You really don't have to..."

"WHAT DO YOU LIKE?"

She dropped down and hid again. "We've talked a bit, Cutter! Think about it, what do you know about me? Don't ask and listen to someone who has never met me in their life and think about what you know about me!"

His face lit up as understanding hit him. He went and took a shower, no longer nearly as stressed, then went to bed on the couch again. It took Aislynn a long time to get her stomach settled enough to sleep.

The next day, he brought her home a book, pleased with himself. Aislynn smiled slightly, trying to be nice. "Thank you, Cutter."

"Do you like it?"

"I... I do," she lied, looking at the romance novel. "Did you get it at Dogeared Treasures?"

"Yes."

"A tall man with really big curly hair?"

"Yes?"

"Todd. He knows me, actually and if you give my name, I should actually have books there to pick up that I ordered. He can suggest others too. He has known me and what I like since I was 10."

He was much more pleased, though he scowled again when he saw that she had made dinner. "I told you not to do anything!"

"Sorry! It helps though, to move my arm and stretch it. It will get better faster if I do. And I made dinner. Are you hungry?"

The next evening when he came home, he had two large bags with him and handed them to her looking almost excited. She looked at the bags full of books, a bit shocked. "I only meant maybe one at a time or something..." she said lightly, trying to hide how thrilled she was.

He had told Todd her name! Todd knew who she was with! If she was lucky, Cutter had used a credit card. Her father would be looking for her and he would know who had her!

She couldn't suppress a smile, but she didn't have to. He would think it was for the books.

He sat to eat, still pleased with himself. After dinner, he paced nervously and she could tell he was wrestling with something. Finally, he pulled out his phone and left out the front door.

She assumed he had finally figured out she could hear everything and stepped out to make a call, but he was gone for a while. When he got back, he actually looked a little nervous and sick. She looked at the little case he had in his hand curiously.

A redbox movie? He didn't even own a TV.

He pulled out his laptop and set it on the coffee table, then looked at her nervously. "Come watch a movie with me," he demanded.

Aislynn was a little bemused as she sat down on the couch, especially when he sat near her, a few inches away. He started the movie on his laptop and she got up and got a blanket before coming back to curl up to watch the movie.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"It's a thing for me, I like to cuddle up in a blanket when I watch movies. What are we watching?"

"A movie," he told her, looking her over with a frown. "Does all of you have to be under the blanket? Even... your arm?"

"My arm?" she asked, confused, pulling her arm out.

"The other one," he said quickly.

She pulled her sore arm out, assuming he wanted to look at how swollen it was. He didn't even look at it, he went completely stiff and stared hard at the laptop, watching the trailers. Aislynn was confused, but left her arm out. It was the one closest to him, maybe he wanted to make sure she didn't have a weapon.

The menu came up and he hit play and sat back, then very hesitantly and stiffly took hold of her hand. He was trying hard to be gentle and he was so nervous he was sweating. It was actually really endearing how nervous he was. Aislynn smiled and turned her hand over in his so that she could hold his back loosely.

He shifted, swallowing hard and cut his eyes at her.

"Oh, a military movie. Cool," she said lightly., trying to calm his nerves. She adjusted in her blankets, leaning her shoulder to his arm.

He went even more tense, almost vibrating. Aislynn, on the other hand, finally felt much more calm. He was so terrified of her it made her feel more confident and much better. So long as she didn't set him off, she felt like she had some control now. That, and someone was looking for her!

She let her head rest on his shoulder and she felt his head turn as he looked down at her. She could imagine the look on his face. He stayed stiff for a long while and she knew he wasn't really watching the movie. Neither was she. She was trying to calculate how much time it would take for her to be found. If her father knew she was missing, and she was sure he did when he saw her car still there. He would have put people on it immediately and probably suspected Cutters boss since they were there at the same time. He would have had someone check the bookstore that was almost a second home to her, so Todd would know and he would call as soon as Cutter left.

It could be any time!

Halfway through the movie, he let go of her hand and put his arm over her shoulders, taking hold of her hand with his other hand. He was so stiff, she almost giggled. He was worse than a middle schooler! She wriggled closer so it wasn't uncomfortable and threw her legs over one of his so she could lay her head against his chest. His breathing became fast and ragged as he tightened his arm enough to hold her against him. He let go of her hand and put it on her shoulder, holding her more tightly against him. He stayed rigid and still like that through the rest of the movie.