All Comments on 'Al Andalus'

In regards to sending Thomas away their government,how many times has government officials civilian or military fubared a perfectly stable situation for their own desires.

in a leader roll. always takes someone else s thunder casuse they are totally ineffective,,that is how got the power position.

3 stars

Your story generated over 200 comments. This was a great story on many levels, and lacks only one thing: finish it. Ester deserves a realistic glass eye and plastic surgery (surely Mossad would pay for that after what she had done), and she and Mr. Selfridge deserve the chance to move forward. You still could add a villain here who is taken out by Ester (even with her less than perfect vision).

Sadly, government glory grabbing piggyback riders have been fucking our country out of its best and brightest for over a hundred years and now, when we need them the most, the assholes are still too blind and stupid to recognize the danger they've put all of us in.

I was the one who always saw you as beautiful and now you've shown me how shallow and ugly you really are. One thing that Ameer said to you that matches my sentiments about you now is when he said: "You are nothing to me, simply another Western whore ready to spread her legs and dishonor her husband at the first opportunity." What's so sad is that you still don't even see it or that you've dishonored yourself. Maybe someday you will. Good bye, Ginny.

I realize this is “Loving Wives”, but I can’t see a woman who believes in fidelity, who loves her husband who stood by her when she believed she was unattractive, cheating just because she was now attractive.

I still haven't seen any explanation (other than for plot reasons), that they couldn't follow Ginny to Ameer.

of the Peter Principle in action. That is a management principle that says in management we rise to the level of our own incompetence or as I always like to say it. Shit floats. Not only in government but in all management but government officials have elevated this to an art form as well as a way of life. Hooty-hoo.

I dated a chunky bitch because I was told she was a great fuck and s he really was maybe the best fuck of my life. Then Jude went on a diet, got healthy, had her front ugly capped teeth fixed and became an extremely attractive woman. Her down side was she was still ugly inside and was the most selfish demanding cunt I have ever met. Once she decided she was Gods gift to men, she gave them all her gifts. Pussy, ass and mouth.

Problem was I had married her thinking a really good fucking pussy would overcome her shitty fucking bitchy personality. It didn't, lust lost and hatred won out. We were married less than a year. She is still pretty much a bitchy cunt which she learned quite well from her whore of a mother. Her mother was a real tramp even fucking me in my sleep. I woke up with her riding the pony, only I was the bareback pony. We never ever got along after that. I was no saint but was truly blessed to get away from that incestious group of lowlife scum.

sTars

I was born with a congenital malformation of my left eye. As time went by the eyelid over my left eye began to sag more and more until by the time I reached adulthood, it remains totally closed. At this time I can get it to stay open only for a few seconds, and only if I concentrate on it strongly. When people ask me why I don't have a surgeon fix it for me, I ask, "Why? Doctors have told me they can't improve my vision. All they can do is improve the cosmetic appearance of that eye. If people haven't got used to my appearance by now, they never will." I have learned to find beauty in people who have what some other people may consider are flaws in appearance. Absolutely marvelous story.

Thank you for writing, I enjoyed it both times. Keep up the good work.

Definitely Five Stars!

The sycophancy to the memes tumbling off the pr desks of the rotten bastards in tel aviv is sickening. You've taken a real nosedive with this bullshit, francis.

Do you moron commenters realize that the "ISIS" platoon commanders are flown to tel aviv and also to Germany when they need medical care? Yeah, their pockets are bulging with israeli skekels, too. Same with Hamas and who knows what else. All started by the back-stabbing so-called "state" of israel.

Don't you toady dipshits think it's time you understand how politics is run in the USA and elswhere, and who pays for it, and who is ramping up political machinations to throw your sorry asses in jail if you suddenly become politically inconvenient? Ya think? Jesus H Fcking Chrst you googoo-eyed goofballs are soooo pathetic.

When peace breaks out in the middle east; when things get too quiet for comfort suddenly you have israeli munitions (read U$A taxpayer money) finding their way into palestinian bodies. You know, things were doing just fine in Palestine until the murderous eastern european jews and jabotinskyites came in and started fucking things up.

Who do you think blew ninety women, children to bits in the King David Hotel? Everything a false flag. Fucking everything. For chrissakes, not even a very good one. What about Anna Lind, foreign secretary for the state of Sweden? Murdered, gutted like a fish on her lunchbreak in broad daylight a few short weeks after denouncing the pathological murderer Ariel fcking Sharon on the world stage. What about Dag Hammerschold - israelis still laugh about bombing his ass to bits...and by a future prime minister of the so-called state of israel. Olaf Palme? Gee, israelis sure hate Scandinavians. Guess that's why swedes go to jail if they speak out about immigration and their daughters being raped into the stone-age by africans and arabs...but hellfire for you if you don't kiss barbara lerner specters ass. Boy, media ownership/management sure helps!! Fuck yeah, the formula works!!

9/11 - made in the state of israel. Every video clip that morning was fabricated. Very easy to determine - especially when you see a pristine perfect nose cone sticking out the other side of the building (tower 2)...fcking A, fact. That's just for starters.

Oh well, at least we can read Francis Macomber for entertainment while Rome burns!

Once again we have a very exciting, fast paced, entertaining story .... Thankyou.

A verry enjoyable story.

Continue on............a so called computer "nerd", and a retired mossad agent living together, him doing basically the same work as he did for the NSA. Now he has his own business in New Zealand. Try to incorporate Esther into his "New Business" working for the New Zealand SIS.

Excellent story, I give you 5 stars for it.

Reading again still a very good reading time.

Not sure ISIS could still launch an attack like that now but no doubt they would if could and for sure Iran would do it!

Please keep writing and I will keep reading!

You man, u think 2 much! This is great work. In fact, I like many of ur stories. Keep it up!

Seemed like a one dimensional caricature. Completely brain dead. Not very believable as a real person, so his surprise was also unbelievable.

Ironic though, that he would help one terrorist organization (mossad, yes, they are), defeat another terrorist organization!

Excellent characters, compelling story!

Jason

2nd time through. It's mostly an adventure yarn with just enough cheating wife angst to fit in the LW category. Plot holes? Sure but so what? It's fiction, sit back and enjoy it.

@ Anon 08/31/16

I have to wonder, how you've made it to adulthood without encountering the tremendous capacity for stupidity inherent in so many people. In no way did I find Ginny's actions unbelievable.

Female guards at a privately run prison were both pregnant from the same inmate and they knew about each other.

A judge was caught having an affair with one of the plaintiffs in his court.

Good grief, just look at a few videos on the internet... "Hold my beer for me and watch this."

Humans lie to them selves, ignore logic, and believe blatantly ridicules things all the time, all over the world.

It needs two people using one keyboard to prevent a 'hacking' and it could be an NCIS episode. It's that bad.

If you think that the Mossad is a terrorist organization, then the CIA is one also. They both use the same tactics to achieve their goals .

A great adventure story. Loved the descriptive details. A little more sex wouldn't have hurt, but fun & very inventive, even the second time through. Loved it. A 5.

AN EXTREMELY WELL WRITTEN STORY. Five stars for you.

You tend to write quite a few topnotch stories. Even so, this is one of your best. I enjoyed even some of your minor characters.

Great job. Thank you

A really nice story I would have liked to have seen his ex burnt more but the story was still a 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

First, some of the dialogue is a bit unnatural, and stylized. I suspect that is because of the second and bigger problem. The characters aren't fully drawn, especially Ginny. Her falling for Ameer isn't believable. She has sex with him because he says she's beautiful? No one is that shallow or stupid, and the character just seems written barely enough to create the conflict. Third, the husband is an unforgiving jerk, and that always turns me off to a story. Your main character should be likeable, or at least have a very powerful reason for being an asshole. He isn't and doesn't. Part of that is tied to the problem that the wife and her reason for cheating is not real, so how could he forgive?

read too many spy novels, but I can't believe that anyone so naïve could get the job at the NSA that he had. Go off with his FBI minder away from surveillance? You're kidding, right? 1 1/4 pages was all I could stand.

The only turd is the anny who called it a turd. Pull your head out of your ass and relax. It is only a fucking fictional story. U need to lighten up. A lot.

I enjoyed it all over again. Thanks

This story was a flop. Ginny is practically non-existent, Esther and Thomas had zero intimate interaction during the handful of days they were together making their reunion three years later lack any gravity, and the terrorist plot is thoroughly uninspired and strains credulity past the breaking point. His FBI handler wanders off onto an icy mountaintop while they're trying to use him as bait? The three letter agencies don't go bananas trying to track him down after the incident, rapidly locating his cellphone? He isn't intercepted at his home until after he's already incapacitated the terrorist? The Patriot Missile System manages an almost flawless anti-SCUD performance?

No major complaints from a technical standpoint, but the non-existent characters, awful plot, and fizzled ending kill the story.

I did not think I would get such a well written Spy Story on this website. I am BBC – born before computers and it all sounds so plausible and true! I Loved it - so glad what happened to the cheat! Burn the Bitch ... she got what has been coming to her. He was willing to accept her with her disfigurement but the minute her blemish was removed she became beautiful for her fuck buddy – and cheated on him. How will ANY man ever forgive a woman when he hears what she said to her lover? Like a recurring symbol - once again he picks someone that has been disfigured. But … this time he is really in love! Why do cheaters always cling even though they know they fucked up? BRILLIANT!!!!

As ANY reader should, suspend your beliefs , and enjoy it.

Only "major flaw I saw.... he gave his house to his lawyer in lue of payment, then gave it away AGAIN to his ex in the divorce??....

And if that's the only "major flaw", I'd say to nailed this one,

Bravo, I do love reading an interesting take in the " cheating wife story".

Thanks!

And very a very enjoyable read. I don’t know anything about the tech. stuff but the Al Andalus part is pretty much dead-on, and these days, coupling that history with some type of “revenge” attack by ISIS or Al Qaeda is...scary. I guess realistic fiction is the best kind.

It was well written and compelling. Ignore the trolls, they apparently have so little self esteem, they attack what they can't understand.

Thanks for sharing your work with us.

Can't get the perception that the girls want Thomas when they feel other men don't want them. I realize the author was going for the idea that he sees the beauty of the whole, as opposed to the blemish, but from the perspective of the women, Ginny loved him when she had the scar, but went for the better looking guy when she didn't, only for her perception to be stricken when she finds that the better looking guy wanted her for nefarious reasons. Esther wanted her lover in Tel Aviv until he didn't want her again after her own scarring.

I realize life is more subtle than that, but still can't help feeling for Thomas for once being the first choice, not the one a girl has to settle for.

johnadp:

You didn't like the ending because you didn't read it correctly. She saw the real Thomas just as he saw the real Esther.

Apparently a U S hater. So fuck you!!!! And your camel!!

I agree with oldpoet451's, "She saw the real Thomas just as he saw the real Esther."

Obviously a well researched story. The two female characters are really well done. Just the ending I was hoping for. Five ***** 's.

It's a story like redeeming a prostitute, but less gratuitous. I guess the side effect of seeing past the scars is being up for second choice. That's not always so bad, and there doesn't seem to be any hard pressing sales pitch. It's acceptable sometimes.

But here, I feel disappointed about the end. Something was missing. Like roast bitch, or smoldering bastard. I kid, but it's clear he was second choice again, and I find that a problem because he's too eligible a bachelor to accept it. It's sort of like a mystery soft RAAC. If he could hardly take care of his life and desperately needed help, it wouldn't look so bad to a third party- the reader. Being chosen at all then would be a blessing. He found the place so friendly so why not move on?

Or do the stoic thing and say "I was second choice before, and I've set my sights higher this time. We can be FWB until I find my woman." That would have been a better ending by far, leaving things open, but closing the last lingering chapter in his life. It would have shown character insight and progression, and avoided cliché. Or maybe that would have opened up a chapter for her own insights. Lol.

This is my second reading of the story

and I enjoyed it as much as the first time.

One of my all time favorites on Lit.

Got before and gets now my top ratings.

Such a coincidence, I am reading this story from Auckland. Literally 10mins away from Herne Bay...

I wish it had more sensual and erotic side to it

Tim McGee gets Ziva!

Loved this story, so well written.

It's hard to imagine how this marriage would have survived. She never seemed to recognize the reality of her actions. I do like a happy ending! 5*****

After that, the Raytheon guys wanted to go home but we wouldn't let them leave. "There's too much at stake," Esther said, and the little group reluctantly went back to their work

Raytheon guys wanted to go home. Absurd.

You woule need access to the source code of the patriots and each battery would have diferent identifiers.

Technically a stupid story

There were too many big dogs really big dogs that knew what happened. I just can't imagine them letting his boss's boss steal all the credit, if anything he should have been reprimanded for using the guy as bait.

Well written enough so that even knowing what the pay off was going to be, the storyline was carried out without my wanting to scream out loud with derision!

Enjoyed the ride enough to want to see five pointy things as my award for a consummate wordsmith!

The next time you post a story on LitEROTICA, put some sex in it. Otherwise, post this shit someplace else. What the fuck is wrong with you? ONE STAR.

No sex??? Oh my god, not that. What are we to do? I mean its not like we readers might appreciate a great author simply for the tale. No, we’re petty shallow little things, and we must have our milk.

Which of course explains why so few of the great authors post anymore.

This story is stangstar like, its less about the relationship between husband wife than how to blow up the authors Ego indirectly through the husbands character. So husband is a Computer Genius working for CIA NSA or whatever searching for wifes prove of cheating, trying to create something like cheating Pilot thriller.at The end of page 1 I feel like the author is writing about what he Would like to be ... Boring

Have this problem all the time

Discrepancies

Plot thickens think no definitely call wife and go off knowing she is bedding terrorist

That period nsa recruited from stupid farm

Back and forth

OK overall enjoyed happy endings my delight

4 stars

Francis is a good writer and I usually enjoy his stories. However, this was not a an LW story it was an espionage story. As such, I could not give it a 4 or 5.

Enjoyed the story but, if you are going to flesh out an espionage story, you need to build tension, and do a bit of more research to make it seem believable.

If you are going to do a cheating wives story, you need to make the reveal and confrontation much more in depth and dramatic.

Honestly you kinda missed the mark on both of these. Not An actively bad story, but certainly not special either.

Characters need to be fleshed out more as well. For example, when Henry dies, I couldn’t give two shits. If you want us to sympathize with characters, you need to give us a reason too, and the only character you put the slightest effort into was Ginny. Ginny actually had the most interesting backstory.

However grammar was good. Very understandable to read.

I would give 6.5/10.

It fully deserved the 5 stars I gave it. And I disagree with previous comments. With my background in military intelligence, I found your story both plausible and attention controlling. If, for no other reason, your story makes it plain that no-fault divorces can be of extremely negative consequences. All states with no-fault divorces should go back to the drawing board; because they do only harm.

I have no problem with no-fault divorces per se. They're a vast improvement over the old days when it was nearly impossible to get a divorce unless you could prove some "fault" in the other spouse.

My problem with no-fault is that it doesn't only affect the divorce itself, but carries over to the settlement. I see no reason why a cheating spouse should get the same settlement as a faithful spouse.

I loved the story. The infidelity was definitely a part of it, But not the major part. here's the thing. Lets say Ester and him get married and she gets her eye fixed... what does he do with another woman who gets her good looks back? Just a thought.

This was a pretty nice story, I couldn´t help but laugh at the very last sentence. ¨I knew I had made another very good decision.¨ When did he ever make a good decision? everything in his life went kaput. starting with his wife. All our military came back with PTSD, Why would Esther be any different? Did he get a good deal or did he wind up with damaged goods? Anyway I loved the story. Hope you have another one just as good, only don´t make the wife so stupid as to be discovered so easily. Give him a challenge with finding her out or have the wife get away with it.

It always astounds me how much mileage Literotica writers get out of the same song and dance-wife acts suspicious, guy catches on, investigates, burns the bitch, finds another love, etc.-it's almost as tropey and cliché as horror! We need more genre mixing! Where's my sci-fi infidelity space opera?

Wife goes nuts after having her defect removed, this happens more then people realize. Well done.

I enjoyed the story even if there was minimum cheating. Wife got off too easy!!!!

Now knowing that the US and Israel is behind al qaeda and ISIS this story seems moronic.

For what it was worth I did actually enjoy reading it. As others have said the wife got off lightly. But hey I don’t care I just enjoyed the story for what it was. And to me it just shows that you are a very talented writer especially when you draw people into your stories. So well done on that got to say I was hooked as well . But got to say that is how them security agencies work no thanks no nothing just next job . Well done can’t wait to read your next story.

Totally different from other stories here and i loved every bit it. Well done! 5*

If this were a movie there would be an 'Oscar' in your future. I have read some really good stories on this site but amongst the bitches, cuckolds and wimps that some of the 3rd rate storywriters on here produce there are few that are really stories,,, like this one.5***** Thank You.!

This is a wonderfull story, even managed a happy ending.

Finding works like this is one of the reasons that I continue brawsing this site.

Thank you

Regards

Jason

I love this story from beginning to end⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

That was a hell of a story and with a bit of everything thrown in. I would have liked to see him get a little bit of recognition but I guess we all know how the boss always takes credit for other people's work.

Delilah loses out to Ziva.

.....however: a guy that talented who accomplished such a remarkable feat, on a very short deadline, and with so much at stake, that combined both his own expertise and the ability to work with other experts to succeed.....would NOT have been tossed aside by the NSA like that! He would have been promoted....he would have been given a large cash award (albeit the details for why being completely “sanitized”).....and he likely would have been assigned as a team leader reflecting his promotion to work on other similar projects. I worked at NSA for several decades....trust me...they cherish the real technical “gurus” and work hard to keep them happy and motivated.

But hey...your story and you needed a plot device to get him “far away” 😎

Outstanding writing!

I really enjoyed this well written story, not one I would expect to read on an erotic sex site, still I will read others by this author, not bothering if they are sexy or not. When I read a nice story, I want it to end leaving me with a warm glow, this certainly did that.

You're too good to stop.

We miss your talents.

Ginny had to get a new job. She now works for Sluts R Us

tickety-tock......co-vid is on the block....is Armageddon on the horizon....are the plagues far behind. TK U MLJ LV NV

An outstanding story which was subperbly written.

FM

I admire your story telling skills. I do have reservations about how all the loose ends were tied up. Now I am not a US citizen so I don't know all the intricacies of intelligence agencies and the like. But your spin on how they operate is very depressing...all about plausible deniabilty as well as promotion for some. Pretty hard to see why anyone could possibly have any faith in such a system. Your two "heroes" were literally discarded like garbage.

Great story. The whole cheating/spy/espionage story was well written and quite interesting, also had a good ending but seemed rushed.

5 stars

5*

One of the best I've read on this site.

Five Stars+++

You don't just try and write a good story. You try to do it and you succeed. you also understand the difference between I and me. That puts you so far ahead of the rest of the pack and marks you as an erudite writer.

Thank you.

BJS

Brilliant story not the type you get to read on Literotica. Loved it for this was a novella with so much intrigue I was sorry to see the end. Thanks for sharing this well written tale. Francis Macomber you’re a very good writer. You can write that spy-thriller and I will be first in line to buy it! Godspeed!

This was just as good the second time around. This reminded me of several people I've worked with over the years, even the slut wife.

Every now and then I'm reminded this is an amateur site.

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY FRANCIS HAS ONLY WRITTEN STORIES FOR 3.5 YEARS. HE'S PRETTY GOOD. NOT GREAT, BUT ALMOST VERY GOOD.

You're GOT to be a professional writer that's.....slumming! Damn, dude! Movie rights!!!!!!

Thank you. That's all I can say. I have written some and spoken more so I know, at least for me, that a heartfelt thank you means more than wordy praise.

Pretty good story but he goes from a woman that broke his heart to a woman that could easily stop his heart, not sure he's moving forward.

This story ended at this idiotic gem ""Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ameer Nassir." He gestured at me. "And you must be the hapless cuckold,"

Seriously.............one of the most ridiculously moronic sentences ever utter in LW. I was enjoying it up until that steaming pile of stupid came out.

A bit deep and dragged on in places. But it ended in a loving way, which is what I enjoy. Great author, I will read more.

Yeah, right. NSA people can work from home and all they need is a password.

Yeah right, Israel's world-leading reconstructive surgeons leaves an injured soldier with "ruined, empty eye socket".

and those that can, do, accomplish sans gratitude. TK U MLJ LV NV

Too many terrorist organizations. Isis. Al Queda. Mossad. NSA. Murderers all. Just criminals on opposite sides.

Loved the concept of the story... A deep tale in itself but an incredible piece of work from the Author... I tend to read more of their stories... 5 Stars and added as a favorite...

Anon @ 25 days ago... You do realize it's a fictional story? Surely you don't believe every story is real ? Only an idiot would think that,...

eh, average at best imo. the technical aspects aren't worth mentioning.

her disfiguration at the end was a strange thing, and really seemed more about damaging her, making her lesser, than having any point to the story, something that seems to be a pretty popular trend among LW authors; having the hero end up with a woman either damaged or tainted.

Nice story, nerdy stuff, cloak and dagger, romance, what more could you ask for? One discrepancy, those magnets would have wiped out the hard drive.

sounds like the gummint as usual. great read-novel material

More thriller and romance than cheating wife tale - and all the better for that, no revenge, no endless bouts of angst, just an entertaining story with a hero that I could actually like. A 5 from me.

LA