All Comments on 'Alex's Gifts Ch. 14'

I can see a lifeguard foursome in Alex's future as 3 female lifeguards fuck Alex after the pool closes for the day.

Also after fucking both Casey and 38 year old Emily, could fucking his own 40 year old mom also be in Alex's future as well?

Getting bad vibes from Mark. Please don't involve him or any other guy with the harem it will ruin the story. Also who invites someone to their house after meeting for less than an hour unless they are dtf

@ Anon - Rest assured, that's not my intention. I still haven't worked out Mark's part to play in this, but my original thought was to give Alex a friend, someone like Ben who could lead him to new acquaintances. Maybe his aunt? Or maybe he has a sister or two? Who knows. Regardless, his role will be minor and he won't be involved with any of Alex's ladies.

I was so excited to read you were going to include watersports in this chapter. I was sad to see it won't be a major part of the overall story, but please include some every once in a while. I have worked at water parks and watersports are a part of some employees' kinks who worked there. It wasn't all like the end of this chapter, but there was a lot of desperation, naughty peeing, and pee pranks among the employees. (Sitting down on someone's lap for a couple seconds and peeing a bit on them. Asking for someone to hold something and putting their hand over your crotch and letting loose. Holding someone in the water and letting go. Also, playing chicken with a full bladder was a lot of fun. It was all consensual.)

You got all these characters, Lilly isn't really in it, or her friends. You add Jenny for no reason I can see instead. You say that Alex wants to connect with Carrie but doesn't. Alex got a lock box for Lilly? What happened to it? Really not liking the man whore Alex is becoming. Nobody is jealous, no one is dealing with Ben being a voyeuristic jerk off. The 2nd half of the story has almost nothing to do with the first chapters and Alex is suddenly a whole different guy since Sonya. Oh obviously I don't want Mark either. If you need a new male character include Ben for pities sake. Since you have barely done anything with him you can fit him in anywhere. The writing is okay as far as spelling and grammar goes but your plotting and characters are messy.

@Anon - Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad to see this chapter was well-received. I was nervous that it wouldn't be, hence my warning. I'll admit I don't share this kink, but it was a lot of fun to write. I didn't set up the whole lifeguard/pool scenario with the intention of writing watersports scenes, it just sorta fit when I was fleshing out Emily's character. I have one other chapter in the works that will delve back into the topic and seeing as how folks seem to like it, I'll definitely return to it. Thanks for the ideas. That's a wild story! I can see some desperation and sneaky play being fun to write. I'll keep it in mind.

Great so far I would love for the wait between chapters to be less as it’s killing me with anticipation but great work

I'm enjoying this more with each chapter keep ' em Cumming.

@Anon - Fair criticisms. I think the main fault lies in the pacing. Very little time is elapsing between chapters. I'd make them longer if I could, but the quality of my editing takes a dive after 10,000 words. Lily and Carrie have been gone for all of three days which spans my previous six submissions. I did this out of necessity to set up the party, it wouldn't have worked if Lily was still around. But she and her friends will be prominent fixtures in pretty much every chapter moving forward. All of the girls from the first chapter will be back.

Jenny and the lifeguarding gig are newly introduced, but they both have a purpose. I don't think it's fair to judge their worthiness yet. All of the unresolved events you mention are going to be addressed in the next three chapters. Lily's coming home and the lockbox will be delivered. Carrie and Alex will have an epic reckoning following the insanity of the party. And Ben's situation with the camera will finally get the attention it deserves. It certainly is a schizophrenic story, but that's by design.

Alex's Gifts has to live in I/T by site rules but the incest theme will feature more prominently in some chapters than others. I'll agree it's not ideal, but it's the way it has to be out of respect to other readers. As for not liking Alex the man-whore, I can't fault your tastes. But that's the type of story this is. I'm not exactly shooting for realism in all things, that would ruin the fun.

Hey Magnus,

I really love this story and each week I am awaiting the new chapter eagerly. But just out of curiosity, is Mark going to play a larger role in this, when he comes over to the pool? Without trying to force your writing too much, I have read another story, in which the plot got destroyed a bit, because the protagonist was joined by another man and they just shared everyone without respect to the long established relationship between the protagonist and his sibling and friends.

Either way you decide, I am looking forward to the next chapters and am excite to see how you continue.

Your great work is truly appreciated.

I am waiting for the emotional fallout from the virgins he deflowered, every first timer that I have had/or met got seriously attached to their first, especially if the guy was nice/ decent to her and the sex was great. Realistically both Megan and his sister Casey would have been pissed when he announced his date with almost no warning, and they would be green with jealousy over anyone new being added. Plus the weekend wasn't over, what sane man leaves a threesome for a date? It's his first time fucking his sister plus his best friends sister while watching them lez out. Jenny should have been added during the middle of the week at best. Most sister fuckers would have been pounding her until the other sister got home at the very least. Not too mention the jealousy that Britney would have once she finds out she can't claim main gf status, that should be lurking also. The biggest conflict for me though, is his turning from a pathetic virgin to a man whore in a week, and the claim of his caring for people, yet he shows no thought to any of the girls emotions that he is fucking, by just hoping from chick to chick. Usually women hate guys like that, when it is in their face so blatantly. Women are possessive and territorial, especially if they think the prize is a great catch.

The golden shower stuff was awesome, would love to see Alex drink Casey's piss and get very drop. Personal opinion, too many woman too fast. Should be concentrating on his sisters, and Meagan, and Cassie, Jenny if she gets grouped up. The rest should be dropped as a result of maturing and hurt feelings and sisters being pissed at him for his callousness. Plus Megan should find out about the video and flip out too.

Not a fan of watersports but you gave fair warning so no one has grounds to complain. Still really enjoying the story so far. Keep up the good work.

MagnusRhodes, if anybody complains about the story, remind them how much it cost them! I look forward to reading the chapters and your imagination.

Awesome Awesome Awesome

WOW.. that was totally our of left field and HOT as Hell.. Squirter heaven! >:-) Loving the imaginative twists and turns but wondering when Alex achieves "magic dick" status..>;-)