All Comments on 'Alice's Costume Party'

Can't wait for the next installment. Do it soon, PLEASE!

WOW! I can not believe how hot that story was. Leaving Alice on the side of the road made it even better! Please rush chapter 2!

Good plot, however the horrendous use of commas was quite distracting.

Needs some work on punctuation. Otherwise, this is a very good story. I'm not gonna do my normal character development, plot and pace analysis because the story mostly works quite well, but there was just a moderate amount of distraction from unnecessary punctuation.

Are you a native speaker. If you aren't, I'll forgive you; if you are, did you miss grammar in school?

For starters.

""Get your hand, out of my cunt. You will get off, if and when, I decide, not you."

"Get your hand out of my cunt. You'll get off if and when I decide, not you."

And, just so you'll know, a person can't masturbate another person.

Love the pain.

Julia in Los Altos

The story was really sexy and I was on fire. It would have been so much better though had you used correct punctuation so that I could understand things the first time.

Whats that sound? "comma comma comma comma comma comma" Is that Pac Man? No that's just mollyj writing another story. By the way, the green squiggly line means something is wrong.