All Comments on 'Alice's Trip to the Mall'

I liked it! Interesting concept. Not super believable, but I was able to suspend disbelief. Next time you may want to throw in a line about the onlookers filming or taking pictures. I think that's definitely a turn on for a lot readers of this category (myself included), and is a quick way to make the story a little hotter. I hope to see more stories from you. My only suggestions would be to flesh the story out a little more and maybe tell us a little more about what's going on in the mind of your character (especially for a humiliation story).

Damn, where can I purchase that chair. I’d even volunteer to be the sales lady and demonstrate the features.

Ridiculous, of course, but a quick fun read about poor Alice. :-)

Fun. A bit far fetched but what the hell.

Would have paid good money for a ticket to that show. I'm sure that when she goes back at the end of a shopping day, Jane and then manager will give her another demo, but possibly more prolonged and all of them will try the options in time.

Thanks. a great start to your library

unbelievable but fun story. makes me want to go chair shopping

You got a good sense of Alice's embarrassment and could sense the dads with their slight grins

A very nice tale. Short, as it should be. A difficult concept to portray and I think you did a good job.

At first I was confused who is Jane? Wish author had introduced who was this sales assistant - so the reader did not have to piece the story together by self. Good otherwise