All Comments on 'Alison's Fall'

But gutted that it ended with wanting to meet her daughters, so I’m out.

Good writing style though. Best of luck with your writing.

Tess (UK)

Can’t wait for the next chapters!

I was with you until the meet the daughters. Hard no.

Though with deep regrets. There are so few that write the Ds / humil genre in an enticing way.

I can not wait for the daughters to join in the fun. You have me hot and hard and waiting sir. Please a beg do not be long.

i knew you said you left the ending open but it still hurt to see the story end. please write a second chapter to this story. i want to find out what happens

Loved it all, hope this will become series, but soon!

Very erotic. Can’t wait for the next chapter.

Again, first class writing, letting the dialogue do the work. And good to see you writing from a woman’s perspective. You have a real gift. Keep writing.

Really appreciate them. Apologies to those who didn't like the final twist... there was a reason for it, but I can see it was perhaps misjudged. If I do a Chapter 2, I may do a slight reset on that element. Open to suggestions, either here or via direct message, for how you'd like the story to develop.

I also meant to thank VM, SR and RC for some helpful feedback before I submitted the story.

Loved this, truly filthy and delightful.

Nice writing.

Don't ask for direction, you're doing fine. If your readers don't like it they can write their own.

I can’t wait to read more. Please keep it going.

Love to see Alison get to know her daughters MUCH better.... and see if they are dommes or subs..... and who knows..... hubby might be drawn in as well..... so many open doors....BRAVO!

I thought that it was great. I usually don't like incest stories but I loved the twist. I look forward to chapter two.

Well-written, good style, and what a wonderful insight into the mind of the seduced Alison's mind! Thank you for sharing it!

What a thrill to read! You captured Alison’s emotions and put them to words for us to relish. I felt like I was in the room. You paint a perfect picture with your story.

Can we beg for more?

M

Very nice story. You capture a subtlety not often seen here.

Good story, the sex itself though seemed kind of light, the first encounter between Alison and Steven felt like foreplay and when Alison went back for hours of fun that left her sore when she went home, you skipped it. Seemed to be the theme with alot of the sex part.

that being said, still enjoy the story, looking forward to part two.

You are a very good writer to get your readers so worked up, I hate jerks like that, who treat women as objects for their own pleasure without respect, I really hated that he took pictures, I hated that he just sprung another woman on her (although, to be fair, she is cheating on her husband, so she has no leg to stand on whatsoever when it comes to being exclusive or anything like that, but I still cannot respect her for just going with everything he does, and him expressing an interest in corrupting her daughters and her not putting a clear stop to it immediately is a dealbreaker for me, she can degrade herself all she wants, but to not stand up for her children is beyond the pale, she is a spineless loser and he is a gutter snake, I hope she grows a spine and puts him in his place once and for all do he wouldn't even dare think about going after her children

Great story! Bring on Chapter 2 please!

Well written and detailed. Good storyline and no objection to her exploring her submissive nature but I didn't warm to Steven's attitude and mannerisms. I didnt detect any real concern for her and so far no mention of SSC which should be in place before going further.

Then finally to bring her daughters in like that is not promising. She has to resist that successfully otherwise this becomes abuse. Although little of NC/R in this chapter I suspect it will come later and for that as well as her cuckolding her husband I'm out.

This is the first of your work that I’ve read, as a disclaimer. The writing was wonderful and I definitely appreciate an author venturing into other tags, as that’s not always easy. That being said, there’s so much that just wasn’t my kink, like bringing the daughters up.

Regardless, thank you for writing and nicely done :)

Payne

If not it is time to get started...

Great story.

Every now and then a storyline emerges that has promise to produce much, much more. That’s what I see here. But, like with most things, context is important. It’s not a forced participation or rape story. It speaks much more to ‘Reluctance’, than ‘NonConsent’, and Allison deftly explains her thought processes throughout.

I think the dominant character (Steven) is well presented. That’s key to Alison’s attraction...part of the foundation she has laid. And the photo demand adds a level of humiliation that speaks directly to her voluntary capitulation. It’s a nice hook, and perhaps even something to exploit at some point.

Lastly, the closing reference to the daughters, is more intriguing than “sick”. It introduces another crossroad for Alison, and is not unlike the photo mandate, or introduction of Yvonne. That said, I get the negative reactions. But again, context is important. So far, no one is being forced and they’re of legal age. To assume it can’t be done without appearing cheap is jumping to conclusion.

How the girls are introduced to Steven can be a story in itself. How he orchestrates their seduction and/or how Alison is/is not involved can be solid narratives. There’s nothing untoward here, especially given the genre. So, stay the course. You’ve got a good one going.

Don’t let the LW and BTB crowd know about this story. You’d be lucky to get a 3.5 average score.

That having been said, I thought the story was a bit adrift, not quite sure where to land. We’ll start off with erotic coupling, then throw in some loving wives with non consent, add in a dose of lesbianism and finish with a teaser for incest.

And Valentines was an afterthought and not central to the story.

I feel like Overcritical here, but 3* is all I can give.

...with those who were put off by the twist of bringing the daughters into it, and that Steven seemed a bit one dimensional. Having said that, the writing was great. The image and context of the rose petals falling to the floor was painfully poignant, capturing the ennui that comes to any long term relationship. If you continue with the incest route for any follow up, please post it in that category so I know to avoid it.

I enjoyed your writing and imagery... but it is just another selfish person who can’t communicate with their spouse about their wants and desires; thus ruining their marriage. Bringing the daughters into the story was just a bad way to end it. I bet you will get less than 3-stars with that ending. I feel the husband will probably get the biggest “alienation of affection” lawsuit in history. lol

Still thank-you for your effort.

Which part of this is non-con? There's not even the slightest reluctance. She's very willing from the start. Shouldn't be posted here. Wasted my time reading and ended up just skimming through and skipping paragraphs. Wrong category. I also disagree with one of the previous comments - this is definitely not Loving Wives... it's cheating wives...

I understand you have multiple elements to the story and not sure which category to submit it under, but this is definitely not Non-Con at all. At least provide more context and warning at the beginning. If people ended up spending or investing time to read something they don't like, they're more inclined to leave disappointing comments.

Bringing Yvonne into the story was extremely off-putting when girl on girl action was not expected, no matter how good she was at sucking little beans. Some people may like that but not my cup of tea.

I also thought the part about the 2 - 3 hours/first night going back to the hotel room would be hot or at least deserve a lot more details and attention, or highlight to this story. However, you just briefly mentioned it.

Will not be reading future chapters now that I know daughters will be involved. I admit I do read and love a few well-written Incest stories as well although not a lot, but this just feels off, maybe it's the way it was introduced. I won't jump to the conclusion that it will be incest as Steven may not do them both at the same time or do the daughters in front of the mum. Regardless, it felt off and won't continue reading future chapters, especially when I dislike all the characters in it.

I appreciate your effort and you sharing your story, but it's not for me.

What happened to the talented writer who could create wonderful three-dimensional characters?

I did not like this at all, I did not sense any respect for the females in this story.

More please. Loveit

writing good

story not so much

I don’t get so many of these comments. It fits this category well enough. I’ve read many that don’t do fit as well. But more importantly, it’s a compelling story, and it deserves...no begs, a sequel, and possibly even longer run. I get why some may be put off by the daughters angle, but you’re not going to make everybody happy. It’s your story...develop it, and if that means the next chapter moves into a different genre, so be it. You can always work your way back. Your a very talented writer. For me, the characters are well described and easy to visualize. The range of emotions are real and, again, well expressed. I’m anxious to see what’s next, regardless, and it would be disappointing to not ever know.

Great story. Really enjoyed it. Very eager to hear about the daughters.

Another very well crafted story. 5 stars.

Characters are less than two-dimensional; the characters here are thinner than the Independence Day movies! How you have a 4.63 score on this story strains credulity!

enjoyable need a part 2 ad many more as her family gets involved. Disappointed that Yvonne went down on Allison first. as a good submissive Allison should have been made to serve them both and receive o pleasure except maybe her own fingers Did like the dying rose petals art, great idea

HOT!

Great story, great writing as usual, but my honest comment would be to leave the kids out... There's a fine line between consenting adults and coercion...

Shit, dude, PLEASE continue this story!

Not for me. I don’t like to see train wrecks coming and I don’t enjoy seeing assholes win.

You had me until the final paragraphs about bringing her daughters into this.

Just read this again. Again great storytelling until the end. Then it was not. It became abuse with the inclusion of the children. While I have often enjoyed a VERY dominant role sexually with women who needed it, having been a victim of child abuse, I would never condone actual abuse. Demanding the inclusion of her daughters crosses that line. I well remember an acquaintance who wanted to impress me with his control over a married woman he was having an affair with. He offered the use of what he called, "My slut and fuck toy." When I came into the room to join them the naked woman was surprised and refused. He then grabbed her by the hair, slapped her, and told her she would do what ever the hell he told her to do. When she was weeping and begging the man to not do this to her I realized this was no longer a sex game, but actual abuse. I very well remember that previously arrogant asshole crying and begging me to not hurt him anymore, while the furious woman still crying told him he was getting what he deserved. After she was dressed and walking away through the hotel parking lot, she assured me that if he reported it to the police she would testify that she was attacked and I simply defended her against someone who had attempted rape. Apparently, he reported that he had been mugged.

A choice needs to be made. A mother's choice or a slut. I think I know who what she will do (!)

Valentine's Day? Really?

The man is a predator. Now, the story with Alison is okay, if you can get over the infidelity. But the mention of her daughter is beyond creepy. Ouch.

"So depraved, she thought faintly. So wonderfully depraved..."

Fabulous and very erotic story so far. I hope the author picks up the pen again, as he has opened the door to many story possibilities. I am disappointed that several anonymous immenters are offended by Steven," calling him a "predator" and especially offended that the author would introduce the daughters into the story. These commenters forget that most stories on this site intentionally flout ordinary social and sexual conventions, thereby heightening the eroticism and growing depravity. And most importantly, the author sets the rules for the story and so far his characters have behaved consistently in accordance with the "reality" he has created. Alison's awareness of her descent into depravity, or better perhaps, transformation into a willing slut and, marks this as an exceptional story, Alison's daughters are both adults, and Alison bringing them into Steven's orbit is a test of her submission and obedience to him. The author has captured Alison's thoughts beautifully, especially when she realizes that she will do exactly what Steven demands. Amy reluctance and misgivings she may have are overwhelmed by her need to be sexually dominated. When she now thinks of her husband, she thinks of flowers, loving affection, and unsatisfying sex. What she really wants is to submit to a dominant man who will fuck her long and hard, and this Steven will do. At this point she will do anything he wants, with anyone he chooses. In the next chapter, which I very much hopes the author writes, Alison will be exposed by Yvonne to new sexual pleasures and perhaps other men and women as well. She is well on her way to becoming a gorgeous and large breasted submissive slut, craving cock, and soon, pussy. I also hope to read how Alison becomes a willing facilitator and agent in Steven's seduction of her beautiful daughters. And her husband? For now he will be kept in the dark. Perhaps later he will become a willing cuck to his wife and daughters. The author has introduced so many delicious possibilities and I can imagine many more chapters as they are explored and developed.

I don't get all the hand wringing over the potential incest element by several commentators . After all, there is a huge segment on this site devoted entirely to that genre. Apparently these commenters haven't bothered to read that The MC's daughters are both adults, NOT children, If this is not to their taste in erotic fiction, try something else. Please do not criticize the author because he has not written the story that you prefer.

"Anything? Think very carefully about what that means. I will expect that to mean... anything."

She didn't hesitate. She knew she couldn't. "God yes... anything at all. . . . "I almost forgot. When I come back, we need to talk about your daughters."

"My daughters? Why?"

In most similar stories the beautiful adult daughters are brought up but that is the end of it. It seems just a tease, and perhaps the authors do not know what to do with this storyline. Here the author confronts it directly, and has the very dominant Steven, after Alison assured him repeats that she would do anything he asked, told her he wants to meet her adult daughters. There seems to be no ambiguity here; the author intends to bring the daughters into the story, and obviously bring them under Steven's spell. I think that this is a wonderful plot twist and look forward to the next chapters in this tale. I hope the author is not influenced by those who seem to conflate "daughters" with "minors," which they are clearly not. I imagine that those commenters who seem offended would not have a problem if Steven wanted to meet Alison's younger sisters, if she had any. Love the story so far and Yvonne adds a deliciously erotic touch.

Just re-read the story. Great plot, with hints of many possible twists and turns. You have opened my imagination as to what might happen to this top-heavy submissive Alison and her gorgeous adult daughters. With Yvonne added to the story, there are all sorts of things that she and Steven can do with the unwitting soon-to-be sIuts. I hope to see more of this fabulous story.

"My daughters? Why?"

This is a fabulous line. Alison at this point seems unaware that her slide into depravity means that her daughters will soon join in her degradation and become Steven's sluts and whores.

Alison thought it was all “so depraved, so wonderfully depraved.” I quoted this before, but this is exactly what Alison wants, total depravity and complete submission to Steven. Her darkest fantasies realized. Nothing off limits, and that will include her adult daughters. She is bored with her marriage and her meaningful life revolves around sex with Steven, and now Yvonne, beautiful and sexy Yvonne. Alison may soon start going go a gym, to make her still very attractive 42-year old MILF body as fit and sexy, to Steven and especially to Yvonne, as it can be to complement her large and still firm D cup tits. This is a beautifully written story, and the author has managed to get into Alison’s head and express her thoughts and feelings so well that one feels like being in the room with her. Again, I hope the author resumes this incredible story. I love where it seems to be going. Ignore the naysayers who should go elsewhere if they do not like this story.

I just checked in and will reiterate my hope that the author picks up the pen to continue this very imaginative and erotic tale.

I also think this is a fabulous storyline, very open to new ideas, and the way Alison‘s mind is written. Her thoughts are clear and it’s easy to feel yourself in her mind, as for the very strange people who are talking about child abuse it seems they’re brains on capable of taking in the story 23 and 18 and 22 years old are not children. What kind of weird people can get the wrong idea what hypocrites to only think their versions are the acceptable ones. Please carry on writing another chapter, and for those who are not happy with the way you’re writing it please go to another story and stop whining.