All Comments on 'All in the (Step) Family Ch. 01'

Good premise.

Good back story.

But when sex happens, it starts too abruptly. And lacks the sort of step-by-step details that would make it erotic.

Each sex scene is rushed. Gets to orgasms without detailing how.

Needed much more in the way of foreplay/preliminaries.

Three stars.

Don't worry about the step sibling thing, I like it. Good effort on the story. Look forward to your next installment. Thanks for posting.

Felt very stereotypical, he's hot, she's hot, we aren't really siblings, let's fuck.

No depth, no real lead in or building as another mentioned, nothing to set the story apart from a million other stories like it.

No romance, no affection and not finished. Should have waited and submitted the whole story.

I imagine a bit of sexy chest hair for Damon's very manly chest!

Good start can't wait to see where it ends up. 5/5

Gee, the "Quarterback killer" also has an 8 1/2 inch cock to make him even more appealing. Naturally, Denise had never seen one that size and just had to try it out, despite having a boyfriend. I lost interest right about where that was mentioned.

Yeah, yeah...same old, same old...I am looking for a reason to go to the next chapter...??

Attraction of two people for each other, I get it...could have been more...seems to be another "slam-story" about soon-to-be step-siblings...I will give it a go, see if time is well spent.

Still, I gave 5 stars...

It's gonna be weird having a sister, he already has a sister, Amy

Pretty standard stuff. Sex was kinda boring. Will give another chapter.

He is too small for nfl as written. If he is any good, he will get drafter. Why specify two teams as interested. It is irrelvant

The whole Step Relations concept from porn videos is totally pointless as a taboo. They're always just adults who are just getting to know each other so it's no different than random people having sex with the honorary titles of step-whatever tacked on. Adopted sibcest where the couple were raised together as siblings in a family is different. So far this all seems like you're only touching all the bases to score points with perceived fans of standard porn. Personally, tattoos on women are a deal breaker no matter what else is perfect so you've locked that into an unfortunate blind alley with both the females introduced thus far. If the sex was described in better detail it might be worth powering through these misses but even that is a total letdown. I call it the robots-having-sex technique. You just described their physiques and their positions and whereabouts within the property the typical sexual acts took place - or almost took place. Both are cheating on their steady gf/bf or else it's all mutual cases of FWB for everybody. Casual sluts swapping bodily fluids are very icky without precautions even if you have no issues with the morality of cheating bastards and bitches. If it's a magical fantasy world without disease or pregnancy risks then don't bother with all the genuine NFL team names and so on to touch upon reality at all. Good looking male and female meet then have a wet mutual wank-off session or two then swap oral in the shower within a few hours is only happening in cheap lazy rental porn. Quick and dirty porn doesn't need a (whatever) nineteen-part submission to tell a story though. If you want to write a novel or novella then build out your characters as realistic people by having them interact in real ways at a realistic pace.

With no build up the step siblings came across as horn-dogs. Also, they were technically cheating on their bf/gf.