All Comments on 'All Sales Final'

I find it stunning that a society that pretends to Christianity finds such an evil trope to be so prevalent (or is it just the cess pit that is LW?). Kudos Bebop3 for adding context and creating a redemption story.

what happened with the sister?

You took the fun out of the shitty "wife sold to a brothel" btb cliche and I'm glad that someone finally did. You also did it in one hell of a story.

never **** with a member of a MC, or their family members, because it will never go well for you.

This story is very believable because it's exactly how bikers react to this kind of dishonour.

And the story is very well told and worth every one of the 5*s.

Not very much about the cheated on husband in this story. Turns out a few sentences of him not liking how she saved his ass so he sold her to the mexican whore house. All the rest is the rescue effort. Even then what could have been decent detail is rushed. Pretty but deadly lady, meets sister, we find him married, usual army ranger type guys....

Two of Lit's best. Action packed!

That raid on the whorehouse was a thrill ride. Nice job.

"You're not even a person. You're a fucking cockroach. What sort of subhuman thinks that is okay? You tell your friends? You small-dicked losers sit around a table in a dark room thinking about what you did to my sister and laugh? They all clap you on the back, like you're some sort of fucking hero? Bunch of pussy losers kissing ass to the king loser."

There are a bunch of them around this place, both writers and commentators. Cheering about doing a bunch of inhuman shit to other people. About time someone called them on that shit. Five stars.

@AutistAdventurer: If LW is such a cesspit why are you reading stories here? This is a fiction site (you know, make pretend).

Everything else was great. But let's be very honest. If Alma wasn't such a saint, cheating on her dead-beat husband once to save his worthless hide, if the stars weren't aligned, she'd come off looking like a bitch. And you knew that as an author, which is WHY you set it up for him to be trashy, and her to be saintly. Because YOU know author that sending off a cheating spouse to a whorehouse IS sometimes justified. But you HAD to make a grand preachy speech about how it is NEVER okay. Is that why you wrote her so likable and him so unlikable? We're not stupid, we know that was a trick to garner sympathy. If you were so sure of your morality, you'd have written Alma to be trashy and the husband to be saintly. But we know you wont.

Well, it IS a "thing" in LW world, though is THINK it has become rare in actual stories, though you will still see comments calling for it.

I think BeBop was taking a shot at people who endorse that trope.

You try to hard.

You're a shortcut writer.

You beat what you are trying to show into the ground through telling.

Less is more.

Your dialogue is too explanatory.

Your not a bad writer.

Your not a good writer.

Your words are readable.

But they aren't bestseller material.

Pull your head out of your ass. This is not how bikers react to things. This is how FICTION bikers react. Grow up and stop idolizing a culture you know nothing about.

it sure wasn't Montauk, but it was a great finish for Hector. another five star performance.

This was almost as bad as those invitational event stories. 1* on a scale of 1000

Great job BeBop3. As to the idiot Annonys who criticized, human trafficking and slavery are still all too real in this world. The idea of removing some scumbags who steal lives is always entertaining.

Good story. Fuck any pussy who thinks otherwise. If you don’t like this story go find a story you can read with your dick in your hand.

I don't understand the comments that are viscerally negative. This isn't a great story, but it's easily better than most of what gets posted here. Why not great? In part, there's too much plot for the length. It's choppy; too much "telling". I do agree with the comment that the biker gang part isn't realistic (personal experience), but that doesn't matter much in fiction.

Considering the authors involved, the writing was choppy and convoluted. Some of the assumptions the story made didn't help. Like expecting the reader to know what an "MC" was or is. The ending that included Ann was just a mystery. The wife of his good friend Jim? The same Jim that apparently gets stabbed, repeatedly, in the opening? This felt like you were trying too hard to be clever and complex. Maybe if this had been longer and had more definitive or clear information in it, it would have turned into a good adventure. As it sits, it's just a trainwreck with pieces here and there. Thanks for the effort, but for me, this was a failure to entertain.

2 stars

Thanks to a couple of great writers for submitting this story.

Loved how the story played on the Mexican whorehouse trope :-)

Now, if only there was a way to sell the *anonymous* trolls to said Mexican whorehouses ....

5 stars.

- DK

There are a bunch of woman hating misogynist small-dick cockroaches that comment on this site all the time. Ooh, you offended them. Love it!

Entertaining and well written. Interestingly, while I loved you making fun of the loser misogynists that troll the LW and jack off to the BTB stories because it's their way of getting back at women because they obviously never appealed to that gender, it still took from the rest of the story. Almost like a good movie you're totally involved in and the actor looks into the camera and goes you know it's a movie right.

Still 5 stars. Five stars for that one paragraph and five stars for the rest of the story. Each on their own.

wasnt really my type of story if it was i would read it from tod, it felt rushed about all i have lol

Hard to believe how pissed some of y’all get when the cheating wife doesn’t serve her full term in the brothel. The scenes were a bit too jumpy for my taste. Made it confusing and seemingly rushed. Still have to give it full marks.

"The ending that included Ann was just a mystery. The wife of his good friend Jim? The same Jim that apparently gets stabbed, repeatedly, in the opening? This felt like you were trying too hard to be clever and complex."

I think that you may have read too quickly. Ann's husband was Jeremy, not Jim.

Not trying to be clever, complex or revisionist at all. Jim is dead. No miraculous returns.

Hi!

Just a heads up on my personal policy. If you take a shot at me or my writing skill (or lack thereof), I'll likely leave it up.

If you take a shot at other writers, I will definitely delete it.

Thank you for finally calling out the small dicked sexists, Johnadp. The sooner people learn that big dicks equal automatic love and respect for women, the better.

It was good but had little to do with the summary

Unfortunately, I didn't realise it was a sequel until the last paragraph. I'll have to read the first story then come back to this one before I rate it. It was enjoyable regardless, apart from the moralising about the "selling the cheating wife to the Mexican whorehouse" cliche.

In this story, Alma was the heroine... an actual loving wife who was married to an asshole degenerate gambler. She had supported her loser husband for years, then was blackmailed into sex to save his life over gambling debts! Of course she never deserved what the husband did to her... which he actually did to claim on her life insurance, not because he was heartbroken at her "cheating".

In the actual BtB stories where this cliche is used, the wife is usually a really evil cunt.

1) The sluts that have their lover's bastards and laugh at the unsuspecting husband when he finally finds out the truth years later.

2) The sadistic monsters that drug, tie up, and sexually assault their spouse to force him into accepting being a cuckold.

3) The vindictive whores that cheat multiple times, demand the husband just accepts it, then rapes him in the divorce when he refuses... and turns the kids against him.

4) The cheating wives that frame the husband and get him sent to jail for years, so she can run off with her lover and take all the money.

All those sick bitches deserve the Mexican whorehouse ending... and this story did nothing to convince me otherwise.

"There are a bunch of woman hating misogynist small-dick cockroaches that comment on this site all the time."

How could you say such a thing?

Lue

I thought it was a great bit of writing but I can see why it might have it's detractors. For one, you assume that people are aware of some things mentioned in your story that are never really clarified. I mean, it clicked for me pretty early on that this was a follow up story to "Returning Home" but if you're not familiar with it then you're missing out on a whole lot of back story. I think you can follow the story without reading the previous one but there is so much left unsaid that you'd be pretty vexed every time something is mentioned/referenced. This is really apparent in the conclusion/epilogue where Ann is on vacation; the story skips some time to give Hector the ability to sort his and his sisters life out and develop a relationship but it seems like it was tied up a little too quickly with minimal information for the reader.

But I DID read the previous tale and I AM aware of the events in that story so the references and characters really worked for me and I really enjoyed this story.

Well written from the first paragraph through the last.

Thoroughly enjoyed it. I hope we see Hector and Jacin again.

Haven’t chuckled so much while reading a story in a long time. Keep up the good work.

I found the characters of Ann and Alma confusing. If cousin Alma was married to the gambling addict who sold her to the whorehouse, how did sister Ann end up there? If Ann married Jim"s Ranger buddy Jeremy, why didn't he rescue Ann or Alma ? One of my pet peeves has always been when authors name characters with names that are too similar thus confusing the reader especially when the plot gets convoluted.

Did I miss something here or did the authors get confused as to who's who?

... that makes this story feel real - the way Hector talks his way through his guilt, how Jacin stands up for her man. This is a story best told in a diner at 2am over coffee. Wonderful craftmanship. Utterly engrossing. Thanks for this. 5*

Your on to something, keep at it!

Because of the subject matter. Great writing! 5*

Great start to finish. Too short for me, I would have liked.more. Nothing petty or detrimental to say about this one.

dont listen to trolls. you do a good job with your skill, have a nice day.

I liked it but the focus seemed to be mostly on the MC and his methods not so much the cheating I think maybe this should have been in non-erotic. Putting it here just seems more like taking a swing at the btb crowd... But then again it did do extremely well despite this being LW so what do I know.

@Anonymous Re: Confused - I also haven't read the original, so I'm not totally up on all the relationships, but since two of the original chapters were in Incest/Taboo I'll take an semi-educated guess that Ann was Jim's sister, since she is married to Jeremy. Alma is Hector's sister, I don't believe there is any relation to Ann. Jeremy didn't rescue Ann because she didn't need rescuing, and he didn't rescue Alma because he didn't know her and/or he didn't know she needed rescuing.

@johnadp, luedon, and others - Since I don't believe you know the vast majority of readers, it is the height of arrogance to give a psychological analysis of any of them. And lue, your sarcasm was obvious.

Anonymous, you say "I think maybe this should have been in non-erotic."

Surely you don't come to the Loving Wives category expecting eroticism, do you? Despite the site name 'Lit Erotica' it is rare to find a truly erotic story in the LW category. Most stories get the 'extra-marital fun' enjoyed by the wandering wife over and done with as quickly as possible so that the reaction and response of the husband can be focused on, usually in great detail.

That reaction will range from revenge/retribution (the so-called 'BTB' stories) to subservience/submission (the so-called 'Cuck' stories).

The standard LW story has a segment before the adulterous event, usually focusing on the husband's suspicion and discovery of his wife's adultery, the event itself, then a segment after the adulterous event focusing on the husband's emotions and behaviour in response.

Some stories expand on the first segment, and can almost be detective stories in the detail of the methods used to discover the wife's infidelity. Others expand on the last segment in great detail about the husband's reactions to what he has discovered.

Very few LW stories spend any time on the middle segment. That is the one part of the story that should be erotic, and it is the part that is usually skipped over and not described in detail (if at all) so that the author can get on to the last bit.

Could it be that the authors (mostly male) aren't all that interested in eroticism?

Lue

. . . a dig at the BTB crowd? Who knows, and who cares? The whorehouse bit has always been an over the top ending, a too unrealistic revenge that amuses some people who think the slut deserves it, but even the most rabid BTBer isn’t foolish enough to think that stuff really happens, at least not to middle class white American wives.

So, Beeb injected a bit of humor in a story mostly written without it, just by using that trope? Big deal. No need for anyone to get his panties twisted.

and how they react to slights against family members and other members of the Chapter.

given the main character had no wife and fucked no one elses wife

Also did I miss a sale that would make the title male sense?

I had trouble following the story. A lot of the time, I wasn’t sure what was going on.

5*. Kinda of a Todd172 vibe to it, really good. Thx for sharing.

No idea how to rate this one, so I won't. Your story made no sense to me, but I seem to be the only one with that problem, so let's just chalk it up to "The Old Man Has Had too Many Birthdays."

It might have been better if you'd stated up front that this was part of an ongoing story, but then again...

You slightly reword your standard comment.for.every story. You're right in one sense though. Apparently most, like you and a couple of others I speak for everyone, readers don't give a rat's ass about the cheating wife's erotic interlude with.her cheating lover.

It's not the vast majority of the LW commenters that I make fun off. It's a small minority who simply hate women and want maximum BTB for almost all stories.

Now, unless you show me your credentials that you know ALL of the commenters yourself, I'm going to have to assume that you have no clue how right or wrong we are. Another thing I'll opine as well. My guess is that you always come to the defense of these "cockroaches" because of your lack of self-awareness.

The beginning was confusing as there were where characters being introduced without context. Once the story got going it was pretty good. The action parts outweighed the somewhat clunky beginning. All in all it was a good read. Five stars.

Ever since Archie and Mehitabel, I have had a sympathetic spot for cockroaches. Maybe just criticise the misogynists for what they are? One really does wonder why there is so much rejoicing by commenters when a story has a husband wreaking revenge on a wife who has strayed from the path of true fidelity.

Lue

I find it interesting that a new female author Devildevin has a LW story 'Unavowed' that did spend time on the 'middle bit' and did it well. Maybe LW would have a lot more Lit Erotic stories if there were more female authors giving a wandering wife's perspective rather than the cranky vengeful men who seem to dominate the category.

Lue

@Anonymous Re: "I dont understand why this is LW" - To be honest, I didn't get the title, and didn't care, but when you asked, I gave it some thought, and decided that it was the sale of Alma to the whorehouse. I presume as opposed to simply buying her back, which I thought he might do.

@johnadp - You're right, I know no more about the readership than you do. Unlike you, however, I make no claims about them.

I'll give your final statement the respect it deserves: " "

I hope y'all got paid by Samsung, otherwise this was boring crap.

Don’t understand why some didn’t like it or couldn’t understand it... perhaps remedial reading sites are better places for them to spend their time

Ok, I'm rounding them up to cockroaches. We need some kind of reference point.

I must be really set in my ways. Mickey and Mighty Mouse were never able to sway me. I still hate rodents.

It's strange that there is so much criticism of the Mexican whorehouse trope in the comments on this story, when the Hector basically ripped new assholes on those who would send their cheating wives to one.

Although the start was weird and made no sense at all. Almost stopped me continuing, but now glad I persisted.

Glad you eventually explained what MC meant, although had to wait till near the end.

Ending was obviously an afterthought and could have been excluded. Total anticlimax and left me shrugging my shoulders. Made the whole story seem like it was wasted and trivialised.

Still not sure what a vig is meant to be, but it happened a lot.

Assume a stomper thing against the brother inlaw is being beaten to death, but not sure as you left that unexplained.

Hector is scum, he doesn't deserve a happy ending, when Jim didn't get one.

It's a bit karmic that after protecting a rapist who ruined a woman's life he ended up having someone in his own family In a much worse situation.

But mostly I think this author should stop writing about rape, find other things to write about and never revisit this.

I like Randi and I'm sorry to hear she was even associated with this. **

Has done a better job of Taken out the trash is Liam Neeson, right or wrong sometimes that's the only way for justice. Signed: BTW

going down on a rescue mission is a work in progress on each foray. TK U MLJ LV NV

I've always heard of the term "McGuffin" and knew it's definition. But this is the first time I've found one on Literotica.

The sister, Ann, is a McGuffin!

Easily rates as 5 stars, it’s a chilling horrifying story. The characters are very plausible and easy to relate to. It was a relief that Alma’s husband got exactly what he deserved, the fact that it doesn’t disturb me should be disturbing but it is what it is. You managed to paint very vivid scenes without being graphic, frankly whatever the character Alma would have endured had it been a real situation it just didn’t need to b3 graphic. There was actually more gut wrenching horror regarding her circumstances than there might have been if you’d actually gone into any details.

That kind of plot device takes skill in a “less is more” sort of way.

Thanks for sharing

Tess (UK)

Not sure if I like it or hated it. Got confused with the characters.

I read it again, loved it, and still don’t give a “rat’s hairy ass” about the cheating wife’s viewpoint.

What was this trainwreck??

Good story overall, but the story seemed "sparse". 3 pages were not enough to really tell the full story.

Nice

I don't believe it's in the right category, but this was an interesting tale. Kudos.

Five Stars

I swear I remember reading a story where Ann listened to the recordings. Am I nuts, or did that happen?

Very low on erotic content but a decent - too short - story overall. Still, 5 stars.

Yeah no.

WTF is an "MC"?? I thought the guy was in the Marines lol

MC=Motorcycle Club = Gang. You wrote well and creatively, good detail but there needs to be more to the tale.

Good story- very well written and good characters. Sometimes confusing with the jumping around

What was the point of this story? There is no explanation for why Hector allowed Liam to kill his friend.

Why is this even in LW? Jim's wife is raped, apparently condoned by Hector. His sister fucks a bookie to save her husband and gets sold off to a whorehouse; but the MC (main character) has no wife to cheat.

You lost me in the unending chase. And why did he allow Liam to kill his friend?

Second read, still good but he was not a good friend.

Dang good story,it's got emotional torment in Hector.I hope with Jacin help he will heal.Not bad not bad at all.I give it a 6 star.

Liked it. Confusing as hell. But, a well written story.

Anonymous12 months ago

What was the point of this story? There is no explanation for why Hector allowed Liam to kill his friend.

Why is this even in LW? Jim's wife is raped, apparently condoned by Hector. His sister fucks a bookie to save her husband and gets sold off to a whorehouse; but the MC (main character) has no wife to cheat.!!!!!!! I could not agree more. PERIOD 1 * and that may be too many. ;)

As others have noted

the story was confusing. But not as confusing as Sbrooks being the author's "sweet inspiration".

It was a little mixed up and confusing in parts but I am sure you will improve I will try a few more of your works (jaybee186)

It didn't flow great, but it wasn't bad by any means, a change from some on here, no sex, bugger that's what I like to read, if its in among a good story.

A story that raw, can’t help but rate it highly. Emotion was conveyed exceptionally well. A really good read.