All Comments on 'All She Wanted'

Outstanding story, More please. What reaction do the parents have about this? How many babies do they have?

It should be illegal to be able to create stories this hot, this sweet and this beautiful!

You are the best and my absolute favorite writer on this site! I can’t even understate that at all! You have a gift with writing brother/sister romance and impregnation stories. I seriously can’t get enough of you. I would love to see you do continued chapters and make your stories into individual series— especially the Jacob and Jessie story now that they’re pregnant, I’d love to see the aftermath of that like Jessie’s pregnancy… do they tell their parents in Florida?… do they elope together and start a life with their inbred child?… Seriously in the words of Billy Idol (with a rebel yell) “MORE MORE MORE!!!”

Wow, you paint the guy as a complete imbecile. Trauma at this age for the male is overcooked to extreme. Are you writing about a guy in the prehistoric ages? You have him so backwards you make it like all men are complete buffoons. Is this how your family grew up in the dark ages. I can understand he might have some discomfort. You have him so backwards it is a wonder he can take care of himself let alone be a respectable person in the real world.

Furthermore, you insulting medical facilities, they would have cleaned her up and not sent her home looking like this. Maybe in the cave man days the witch doctor might not have cleaned her up. Furthermore with the amount of injury they most likely would have kept her in the hospital overnight for observation.

Apparently these type of things are beyond your scope of knowledge to feel comfortable as writing material. Write on subjects you know about or do more research. The first two pages are horrible for subject matter regarding the human race in todays world.

You are inconsistent in your details, you need to re-read your story - you can't come up with a thong underwear on page 4 that someone didn't acquire. She arrives with the clothes on her back and that is it, the underwear she was wearing was not in good shape, they didn't go to a store to acquire any clothes and yet after the shower you have him bringing a thong panty that magically appeared in your story to his sister. How is that possible - a thong fairy? Read your story and find these conflicting details before you submit for the final draft. Suggest you have someone review and edit work.

There is no way this guy has been with women before the way he presented on the first 3 pages as indicated on page 4 having brought women home before and acting so stupid with his sister. These are supposed to be adults like mid twenties or there about.

O Lord that was good. I loved the slow build and the reluctance to acknowledge something was happening beyond their control. Fantastic work and I look forward to more.

Loved it. Could not put it down!!

TEN out of five stars. I really really enjoyed you story.

Very nice with a slow build. My only suggestion would have been in the build up to them finally having sex, I wish it would have been a little more romantic; something along the lines of "I want to make love with someone who actually cares about me and loves me" instead of "I need to feel a big dick inside me." It will also be interesting on what they plan to tell mom and dad. Enjoyable!

I liked the story, There were some spelling errors and well as some inconstancies may be find a program that will help with editing. Reread the story or have someone read it for you and help you edit the story. good job for your second try. hope to read more of your stories.

This reminds me of me and my cousin back in 1969 except for the pregnancy. Our affair lasted about 6 months. We are still close and have never spoken about it in decades.

Too long, too boring.

I know Seattle -- it's not a restroom, it a head.

I'll cut you some slack on some other comments. I remeber taht forst week, Hospitals weere cutting people loose withought bathing if they possibly could. Still, a valid point.

Dudes shopping for bras and panties isn't taht big of a deal.

I'd have gone to VS to surprise my sister with a couple nice sets and a nice nightie.

The dude isn't smart. He's living off the generosity of his best friend giving him a job and promoting him to keep him out of the way.

I gave you a second star because you know how to spell Seattle.

omg the brother was cock blocking himself, god he was annoying.. Most of the time he felt like a parent talking to shut up the kids cuz they talk to much before going to bed..

Several times he ruined the mood and progress, irl the sister would have stopped cuz he was really discouraging, one wrong word and most sibs would back off.. 1/5

This story is so good. It is written in a much more believable way than most stories on literotica. The two characters are likeable, there is genuine build up along with hesitation and guilt at their desires and all this makes the pay off even better. Too many times on this site it is "I never saw my sister in a sexual light before" and then moments later he sees his sister in a bra for a few seconds and then only sees his sister in a sexual light for the rest of the story with no guilt or hesitation. Your story was not like that at all and I loved reading every moment.

It is a nice story, I really felt the erotic tension and was glad it was finally resolved, but the reluctance of the guy gets annoying really fast. And I know it's a common porn trope that the guy tries to resist while the girl is basically jumping his bones, but it's extremely unrealistic at least from page 5 onwards. They are regularly in the shower together naked and rub their genitals, but he's still not going to do more with her because "it's wrong" while she's a puddle of horniness? Come on, nobody is that virtuous, especially when he seems to have no really hesitation to fondle her after this point.

Very good, although it was hard to imagine him waiting as long as he did, his luscious sister needed him....

Sexy, emotional, commitment... this has it all

Most excellent, five for you

I enjoyed both of your stories

This guy's behavior and mannerisms make him seems more like a woman than a man.

Very nice, thanks for this! 5/5

Wonderful!

I'm only up to the "third literotica page" so far and I'm loving the story. BUT there is one detail that irritating the fuck out of me. Quoting:

"Yea, no problem, let me get settled real quick and I'll be there," I called back as I opened my office door."

This little error has appeared repeatedly, so I'm certain at this point that you're completely unaware that you're making a mistake. So let me explain the difference between "yea" and "yeah" for you.

"Yea" is NOT slang for an affirmative response. "Yea" is a CHEER just like Huzzah!

"Yeah" is the word that you should be using throughout your story. "Yeah" is an affirmative answer and lazy speech or slang for the word "yes".

And if you're curious or wondering if I also have to straighten up crooked pictures on a wall? Yeah, I do that too. Back to reading this wonderful story now. 😆

Okay, I finally lost interest somewhere about the end of page 5 and the beginning of page 6. I enjoy a good slow burn. I also enjoy LONG stories in the 20k to 25k word range which would apply to this story. So I want to emphasize that BOTH of these aspects didn't contribute to the failure of this tale.

The story stalls out in an endless loop of self depreciation and shower scenes. Jacob never seems to move past his desire for intimacy with his sister even though she is giving him clear signals that she wants him too. He continually shames her as if he is Pious and without sin of his own. A little bit of that goes a long way and this story just keeps circling back to the same theme over and over ad nauseum.

I was really looking forward to giving you a five, but I can't do that. 3/5

Would have given this a five while reading the first six chapters or so, but you ruined it, like so many other erotic fiction writers do, by having the sister (or aunt or mother or cousin) want to get pregnant, and then do get pregnant.

Love this story. It's an erotic "fantasy" story. Seems some readers think it's reality. Jacob to me was more reserved though aroused by his sister. While Jessie was more free willing and very sexual. It coukd have been the hormones of her wanting to be a mother that allowed fer to want her brother as a lover and the father if her chikdren. Thus inadvertently, by Jacob being very protective of his sister, he sends her the vibes of being g the "perfect man" for her.

Certainly hope to read more about Jacob and Jessie, their growing relationship, and possibly their growing family.

Good long story that took a long time for the two to get where they needed to go. In that way, it felt like the real problems some might have venturing into this territory, but it also felt like they would have, or had, decided that each was off limits and just stopped.

That is how long it took.

Very good, erotic, not quite romantic, their ending up together was most excellent. There was a small problem of the sister having to convince her brother almost every step of the fricking way.

And, yet, I enjoyed reading it, and, Five for you.

BTW, "yea" means yes and is from the old casting of votes, as in "yea" or "nay." Also, "yea" and "nay" rhyme.

"Yeah" is the common American way of saying "yes" and is pronounced (sort of) as "yah."

Ugh the brother seems like some super-repressed moron. How did he ever get any action? Oh yeah, he's well-endowed (well, they always are in these stories), I guess that inevitably gets you something. Honestly, when the sister is eventually essentially begging him to fuck her, he's still all concerned, even mentions a fucking condom, like he's trying to kill the mood and never get laid again. Honestly if you were going for the most annoying brother in a brother/sister incest story ever, you nailed it.

Anyway, this way way too drawn out. I mean slow-burn is nice when done right but this just felt repetitive and awkward, especially since the brother was just too resistant. I swear half the things he says I want to just slap him and yell, "stop being a little pussy!"

As decent as the story was, there were just so many annoying little flaws that made it less enjoyable than it should have been. Also, no karma for that prick Eric :(

REALLY LOVED IT. . .CINCO ESTRELLAS!