All Comments on 'All Thanks to Sandy Pt. 01'

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I couldn't continue after the first few large paragraphs which are detailed info-dumps about height, hair length, color and styles, and body shapes - the type of statistics you might put on a dating site. These are details that need to be worked in gradually when needed over the course of a story.

Also, you need to write out numbers under 100: "31 years old" = "Thirty-one years old".

romantic and cheating at the same time? oh, hell no.

An editor is needed. Somehow Sandy became Susan for a paragraph and the error was awkward.