All Comments on 'All That Glitters Ch. 04'

As we are dealing with an entirely fictionalised potential future, I have no problem you determining the 'Civilian Equivalent' rankings and designating a uniform for it. Actually, if you have a look around at our current reality, there is a plenitude of 'Civilian Equivalent' ranks in our society and they do have uniforms. Mayors, with their chains of office, police departments, etc. So not as far fetched as you might imagine.

Considering the activities that Fiona Marsh's platform are undertaking, she does have to be properly like a commander of her vessel in any case. Otherwise there would be mayhem in a very inhospitable environment.

I am glad that Sean is being looked after too.

Looking forward to the next episode.

Share the Love

Devir Ginator

I feel they could step up the defensive capabilities a bit more around the station, strapping some engines to a few suitable rocks. Even if the ship is shielded or heavily armed, a big rock can do alot of damage.

Nothing you have created within your vision is beyond the realms of possibility but is beyond current technology and thus is the very best kind of science fiction. The various plot lines and potential developments within the "Glitter" universe make for an extremely enjoyable read, the titilating erotica adds a personable humanity to the story and gives a bonus facet to describing human relationships missing from more 'polite' platforms. The background history to "Glitter" create a more credible reality in which the narrative takes place and I look forward to reading much more.

ps. I would consider this to be the equal of many stories I have read within the Star Trek universe or Tek War series; should you ever get it novelised and published, I would buy it.

Cheers, Kerry

In the real world:

She would of been in the top rank of a Seabees Command Station. Plus the Coast guard are Federal police on the sea. Till time off war, then Become active navy vessels. So yes there can be recognized rank and commendations for civil servants.

Ghost

Ex Navy.

Imaginative...interesting...detailed...thoughtful, a really enjoyable read!

.....however (you knew it was coming :) ) —- There still seems to be a lack of “excitement”, if that’s the right word, in the response of the Terran Union to the discovery of not one, but two intelligent alien species for the first time in Terran spacefaring experience! The reaction just seems too “matter of fact”, even though a scientific expedition is in system and starting to look at it all. And especially since both species seem to be space faring, and at least one with FTL capability.

That said...all the bones are here for a great story. Looking forward to see how it unfolds.

John Paul Vann, LTC, US Army, Ret. left active duty in 1963. In 1971-72, he was the US Commander of Military Region II, The Central Highlands, Vietnam. I believe he is the only civilian who was ever placed on direct command of Us combat forces. After his death, he was replaced by (as best as I can recall after 40+ years) by an Army Two Star General. I believe this justifies your use of Civilian Equivalent.

I have greatly enjoy the series so far, please continue.

I was in the Navy, serving in an intelligence role on an attack Submarine.

I love this story!!!!!

Outstanding!!!!

FDD

Another “5”

You are an excellent story teller and a gifted and painstaking writer.

As a “hat tip” to critical purists I remind them of Coleridge’s thoughts on the suspension of disbelief

However

As you noted, this is literotica

If by the end of chapter five some relationships exploring sexuality have not emerged I will be done with you

Cheers

Very good chapter. Most intriguing. Am binge reading too.

Excellent story!

From your note: "these kinds of things might be possible then" - we also need to keep in mind these folks aren't many years past a war that involved all of their planets, so a civilian equivalent on the frontier of a commodore is definitely possible. Well written so far - thanks, "Teddy". ;-)

Yet, again, cannot rate your submission due to the buggy beta UI. haven't been able to rate any chapter since my last comment about the problem.

I stumbled upon your story a day ago and after the prolog I knew I hit gold. You're a good story telling.

I am so intrigued . And loving it so far . I am glad that you remind us that this is fiction and is your story to tell as you like . I love your abbreviations . Your use of the word " vice " is well received . IE : via , by way of , along with , in addition to , etc .

Well done .

Your civilian equivalent is no dofferent than a US GS position of authority in the US Military now. Sure, there is still a command structure, but I have worked for 2 GS-15s in my career.

Huge fan of this series. To the author: I am enthralled. I really enjoy the details you put into your story. I like the approach you have when writing your story into scenarios. This could be a published work as a romance novel of some sort for us nerdettes who enjoy sci-fi and heady word porn. Thank you for your work.

I must admit that I am not paying much attention to the sex parts in this story because I am enjoying the rest of it so much. This is a brilliant story.

Haven't finished the chapter (actually just finished the abbreviation explanation) but already commented on previous chapter twice. So...idk it made sense in my head to comment here instead.

ANYway...is there a reason the ships go by "NS" (Naval/Navy Ship) instead of something like "USNS" (Union Space Navy Ship) or "TUSNS" (Terran Union Space Navy Ship) or "TUS" (Terran Union Ship) or even "UNS" (Union Navy Ship)? I mean "Navy Ship" isn't super clear, is it? Whose navy? I mean HMS is "His/Her Majesties Ship" which isn't super descriptive either, but I think it's still more descriptive and less sort-of "generic" than "Navy Ship"...but I could be wrong, and it's your story. I was just curious why you specifically went with just "NS".

|

Pardon the length of this, I'm a David Weber fan, and consequently a lover of ships of all kinds, so naming and prefix conventions are an interest of mine.

|

Now to read the chapter! Woo!

Okay... really intrigued and enjoying the story. However

|

(1) Liea's bit with Lisette felt a bit forced and awkwardly timed. Like... did they just stop in the middle of the street or sidewalk while Liea talked about "glasses of w[h]ine"? Just felt weird.

|

(2) the whole "now Liea has security, accountants, etc!" bit felt like a training montage or something from a movie. Y'know? Where you get little glimpses, one moment the players can barely pass the ball, then they're better in the next clip, then they're finally ready in the final clip. But I'm inordinately interested in the details and world-building, so take my 'plaints there with a large grain of salt.

|

(3) I've never heard of anyone saying "light-second" or "light-minute" as "(insert number) seconds light/minute" Like "three-minutes light". Italian, German, British, and American nerd friends of mine all told me (when I inquired) that, no, in English they'd always say "light-minutes" etc. The Italian said he might say "secondi-luci" or something similar, but that's because of how Italian (and romance language) sentence structure works. Secondi-luci literally means light-seconds. Sorry, it was just... it's called a "light"(unit of time) because it's a distance measurement of how many (units of time) it would take light to travel the distance in question. For purposes of explanation: imagine it takes light 1 second to go one mile. Then you travel 2 miles from your starting point. You have now gone 2 light-seconds from your starting point. Does that make any sense at all? Bah. I'm tired.

Great story, and I can't wait to read more!

First chapter I didn’t rate a 5 and it’s going to be the only one I rate on this specific issue of yours even if (and I fully expect it to) it continues.

You’ve a tendency of having someone walk in, monologue and walk out. This really shows quite badly in the hospital scene where the doctor walks in, monologues about the options and then leaves. And the guy has no questions for anyone? No opinions? He just likes his tv shows. Unfortunately, to me as the reader, this just solidifies that that character is a moron. Or that the writing is just very poorly done. Perhaps he is a moron and I’m just unaware of that so far.

And the editing is slipping. It’s weird that it is steadily getting worse chapter after chapter. Generally that’s the opposite of how that one goes. Oh well, it’s still very good.