All Comments on 'All That Glitters Ch. 24'

Feint is a deceptive attack

Faint is to pass out

I suspect the people being whipped would have fainted, not feinted

I was shocked to learn that Fiona Marsh was not in the nick of time to save Henadi Noor from a beheading. However, that Senator Andjuran was literally painted with the blood of his transgressions and is now probably facing the wrath of his council, and certainly their apparent condemnation is the predecessor to a fitting wrap up of his activity. I am expecting that situations on Anadii will change now.

Well done on another gripping episode.

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Devir Ginator

Nope! Leaving that hanging is not ok. I am usually patient about cliffhangers but this takes it too far. Not sure that I will be coming back.

NO MORE!

Your story now disgusts me!

I was reading this story for inspiration in this time of madness but I see you are reveling in it.

That sucks immensely about Henadi, but you know what? That entire council and all the guards are now culpable for her murder under Terran Union law. Andjuran and members of the council are fucked big time, because not only are they literally caught at the scene of the crime by IPPF agents, with ballots likely bearing their fingerprints showing that they approved of her murder (one ballot showing No might earn some leniency for that person, maybe), they were caught there by Fiona as well. Fiona is going to make hell seem like a pleasurable vacation in comparison to what she is going to do to Andjuran and the council.

Then again, if that wasn't Fiona who screamed at the end there, but perhaps Raymond? I don't think Andjuran and his "faithful" are going to walking out of that room alive.

However, I don't think the IPPF brought enough people with them to secure the place and lock it down as a crime scene, unless they happened to call for reinforcements on the way in. Probably would have been a good idea for them to do that, considering they were walking into a situation that could readily devolve into a riot, what with the people's "beloved" Chief Cleric about to be hauled away in chains by outsiders. I wonder how soon the Navy can have a company or two of Marines on the ground in the compound to assist?

I am curious, though. Who was that second person who did the jump with Raymond? Raymond did say he would do the jump, but there was no indication that he would have company. Who else under Fiona's command would be qualified for such a maneuver?

I've usually graded your story with 4 or 5 stars until now but I gave to give this chapter a 1 star. The first part of it was just plain boring and the last part was just horrible. I strongly suggest you no longer roll dice for resolutions. Since you started doing it this story became worse and worse.

Your writing has taken a turn for the worse. Drastically. The faked drama and cliffhangers do not behoove you.

The 90%-rape scene, with no warning? That was poor taste.

Don't be surprised if you hemorrhage readers, at this point, myself included. It's really too bad; you're a decent writer showing improvement, and I enjoyed the premise of your story, but the choices you've made...

Very sad ending for this one. I was hoping those HALO Jumpers would get there in time to save Henadi, but alas it was not to be. For the snowflakes that could not stand the beheading, and will not be back, sorry but you need to look no further than Saudi Arabia, and their current executions of Beheading, firing squad, and torture to get confessions. The barbaric religion followed in this story, is currently followed here on earth.

Five Star's once again. Thanks for the warning of Hero's dieing, just like in real life. Semper Fi.

I hope you are misleading us and that someone else got in the way of that blade! It will cause withdrawal from my addiction to this story if you delay in Ch. 25 as your note suggests!!! Just remember all those suffering readers!!!!!

It can happen, but what a wasted effort to free dive from orbit arrive hours earlier, and not prevent an execution. Plus who wouldn’t try to arrive before a whipping that can kill someone and at least leave permanent scars. If this is a result of your new dice rolling to see who lives, then you are letting dice ruin your previously excellent story.

"The swish of the sword cutting the air ended with the sound that the Grand Council had never heard before."

Whose sword? The Sacred one or Kim's? Come people read more into the words than a knee jerk reaction...

Great Cliff Hanger... well done.. I look forward to Jan to read the next chapter.

Gemman

Look, it's bad form to not give a warning before a graphic sex scene.

You have the promise of a really good story here, but I feel you're making some questionable decisions that are going to drive readers away.

I don't know if it's something going on with you, or just running out of your planned content for the story (I know you didn't originally plan for even this much), or just making concessions fit a bunch of cliffhangers in for the dice rolls, but your writing style - and tone, have changed recently.

I hope everything is going alright on your end, and I wish you luck in the future.

No surprise that this chapter have the lowest score of all.

I guess your dice have bad outcome.

Ofc henadi didn't die.

You have spent TONS of time building up your characters and their skills and talents, yet they are unable to get to a world in time to stop the scourging? Puh-lease!! You stated a while back you were taking direction from the example of G.R.R. Martin and would kill off characters by the roll of the dice. Your choice, but the killing of characters on a chance of dice and not actually being an integral part of the story, in mho, is simply lazy. G.R.R. Martin isn't a "style" I personally look up to nor agree with. Thanks for the writing, but I'll probably not revisit this story further. Cheers.

You do you but the dice rolling?

Nothing but weak, and pitiful.

Have the courage to at least kill characters in service of furthering your story, not just because.

Oh, BTW emulating George Rape Rape Martin isn't working for you.

At all.

I have to agree with other comments on the change in writing and I do think using dice to determine deaths specifically seems a terrible idea. What I really enjoyed about this story was how smart people were. They made awesome choices in hard situations and maybe people will die but you felt like they did all they could and it was cool to have such heroes and story telling revolve around this concept so eloquently explained by Ramison to Fayud in a recent chapter. But l, I think that (perhaps due to using dice) you are forcing the story to work around certain people now needing to die which has some things starting to not making sense. I think the entire abduction and subsequent rescue attempt was passable, though not at the usual level of Raymond i believe. I feel like things were too obvious for the slavery and The Wanderer way to obvious as a military vessel and not a civilian vessel making the rounds. Also with a $5million bounty on Henadi there is no way Raymond would have been dumb enough would have been dumb enough to not focus more on her as is his mo. Easily could have the wanderer whicker on the intercept for henadi as that was an obvious target. It gets way more obvious at the end when for some reason even though they had plenty of time Henadi gets whipped and then either killed or way too close to getting killed. This was super jarring as your story really thrived on main characters being cool, smart, and capable. That’s what made them cool characters that i cared about. With Henadi captured I think spending 3 days going through that review and NOTHING being worked on for her is ridiculous and not real also. Regarding using dice, I think you are the story teller. People should die for a reason. Even if it’s just for shock value which I’m sire I wouldnt like either at least that was your choice as the author. I don’t mind using dice to help you make decisions but at the same time please don’t force the story in unnatural ways that gut these great chsracters youve made and cut their iq or capabilities.

I agree with all the negative comments, and after going to your page and finding you plan to shelve the story for ------ how long, or end it.

I've seen this happen with several other stories by others and you have, sadly, joined them in my opinion. I quit reading them also.

I am afraid that i read faster than you write - i only found this a few days before Xmas and it has kept me well entertained during our lockdown. Congratulations generally, and thank you for all your work in the last 6 months. I would rather see more of this than developing some of your other stories, but appreciate you may want a rest. Health and happiness for the new year. Thank you

This is just sad, you spent all this time building up these key characters, and now you kill them off willi nilli at random, come on, they had over a week to get to Anuura, something they could do in less of a day, what did they do, sat on their asses twiddling their thumbs?? I get that’s your story and you can do whatever you want with it, but what’s the point of writing if no one reads it?

that's it for me. Pathetic plot direction. What's more sad is the very poor understanding of science and physics. I've stopped reading permanently.

All you anonymous people need to shut the F up, your negative comments make no sense unless you are begging for attention. Why comment at all if your just going to trash the story. My opinion this was a 5 star chapter and 100 star series

With some of the comments I've read I just want to point some things out that should be obvious and other's not so obvious. First the end of this chapter is what people like to call a 'cliff hanger' meaning you don't know what happened for sure and to treat your ASSumptions such as the death of a main character as fact, well check the spelling. For the less obvious, I do agree with some of the world physics breaking things but the author has stated that with advancement of technology things could change. Going beyond the speed of light should technically be impossible, however that is only within normal space, the theory of using subspace is the usual work around. Just because the author is not mentioning the specifics of how they are achieving such speeds does not mean it's not something simple in the world that could basically be taken for granted. Truthfully any significant speed measured in partial increments of light speed would need some kind of sub system otherwise the first piece of cosmic space dust that passes in front of the ship would literally rip a micro hole straight through, simple armor plating couldn't protect it at that speeds. This story in my opinion has been great and sure there are parts I don't like but even if I was as good a writer myself, I'm still just me with my own personal imagination that is always bouncing around in my head. We are all looking for new imaginations beyond on our own in everything we read or watch. So author please continue what you've been doing and hopefully you don't kill off any more main characters but you're the pilot and I'm just the eager passenger on this journey, Thank You!

The depiction of an nuclear explosion in space is not entirely accurate:

As said in book: " Another minute after, the effect of the thermodynamic wave front caught up to them, followed by the blast effect, now severely reduced due to the range."

The NASA has the following to say to that:

" First, in the absence of an atmosphere, blast disappears completely.

Second, thermal radiation, as usually defined, also disappears. There is no longer any air for the blast wave to heat and much higher frequency radiation is emitted from the weapon itself."

(https://history.nasa.gov/conghand/nuclear.htm)

Just a quick bit of googling cause the description of an blastwave in vacuum did not make sense to me.

Otherweise i really enjoy this story so keep up the good work!