All the King's Horses Pt. 06

Sector 98-A, Neutral Space

The Milky Way Galaxy

2398

The silence was nearly as agonizing as shouting would have been. Sebastian looked at Tiff, his brow furrowed so intensely that it would have worked as a rain gutter. Finally, he spoke: "...and?"

"And?" Tiff gabbled at him. "I...just said I might like girls! This is big! This is huge! I'm...I..." She paused, then frowned. "Are you laughing?"

"Sorry, I shouldn't," Sebastian said, his chuckles choked back with a clear effort of will. He closed his mouth and brushed his fingers through his hair. "It's just, well, you speak English that's so close to modern English -- albeit with some oddities."

"I don't not speak no odditisms with my Americanese!" Tiff said, half angry, half amused.

Sebastian did chuckle now, openly, his fangs glinting. "It's just hard to remember, sometimes, that you come from the cisnormative Dark Ages." Sebastian leaned back in his chair. "Until I met you, I dated more men than I dated women. I may have been a..." He coughed. "A virgin, but that didn't mean I didn't date. And I usually dated men. Most of the men on this ship have dated men and most of the women on this ship have dated women. Even if they decide it's not their ...ah...preference later, there's no stigma in experimentation. Or in inclination.'

Tiff gaped at him. "Bruce dated a guy?" she asked.

"Bruce is less of a dating gentleman and more of a..." Sebastian waved his hand, as if he was groping for a term. "More of a...uh...after action report athleticism sort." He coughed. "If you know what I mean."

"Adrenaline junkie, got it," Tiff said. Then she put her hands over her face and dropped down onto the balls of her feet, her knees pressing to her chest. "The future is weird!" She wheezed out. It wasn't quite that she was upset at the idea of Sebastian kissing boys. Or dating boys. Tiff wasn't a bigot. At least, she didn't think she was a bigot. But it was one thing to watch a TV show and to see a guy on the screen then, bam, he was gay. Like in that episode of the Simpsons where Homer met the guy who worked at the kitsch store. She expected...like...

She didn't know what she had expected. But she was feeling a spider crawling feeling all over her skin and she was worried that it had more to do with her than with the future. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to get her heart to stop racing and her stomach to stop flip flopping. Sebastian stepped over, kneeling down beside her. His hand slid along her back and he spoke, softly. "Are you okay, Tiffany?"

"I don't know!" Tiff slid her hands away from her face. "W-What if I'm a bigot? But...I'm from California."

Sebastian opened his mouth, closed it, looked as if he was reconsidering the first thing that he was going to say. Instead, quietly, he said: "Listen, Tiffany. It has been settled science for centuries that human beings, all human beings, sort the other into boxes. We're just not very good at dealing with specifics when there are trillions of specifics. Instead, we lump them into general terms. That's why, across the galaxy, you will find animals we call wolf, cat, slug, tree." He shrugged one shoulder. "It doesn't matter if they're on a different planet with a completely divergent origin. We still sort them into boxes. Humans do that to themselves too." He caressed her hair, his fingers silk smooth and slightly cool. It was oddly comforting, considering how many times similar fingers had been locked around her throat. Tiff leaned into him ever so slightly and let the Ensnarement hold her tightly.

"We're all bigots in some way. The trick is to recognize it in yourself, then decide to consciously reject it. It's not evolution and it's not magic. It's a daily, continual effort. And we still fail. Every damn day." He kissed the top of her head.

Tiff blushed and nodded. "R-Right." She scowled. "You're only four years older than me-"

"I thought," Sebastian started to speak over her.

"-how are you so frigging smart?" She headbutted his shoulder, causing his foot to slip out from under him and dump him onto his back. Sebastian scowled up from the floor at her.

"I thought," he said again, all aggrieved and cattish. Tiff bit her back her smile. "That you were declaring yourself to be four hundred and eighteen years old, not eighteen. Something about getting into bars?"

"Right!" Tiff pumped her fist. "I'm, like, ninth generation compared to you."

"That's not how generations work!" Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're the Hunter, I can understand why the average...see...a vampire's generation is based off how far they are removed from Lilith, the first vampire. If I was sired by Lilith yesterday, I'd be 2^nd generation, and if someone was sired by by..." He trailed off, then scowled. "You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

"A little," Tiff said, grinning. "Christian made me go through all those frigging generation charts and power levels until I was bored to tears." She paused. "How is that shit handled now? Like, back in the day, the Cam had the older generations just ran the show."

"It's democratic now," Sebastian said, then shook his head, sitting up. "Antediluvian -- third generation that is-"

"I know what an Annydellvo is..." Tiff muttered, leaning down to bump her head against Sebastian's chest, pressing him back down onto the deck. She rubbed her cheek against his chest, feeling some of her tension resolve. Not only was he not mad that she had flirted with a sexy shark lady, he'd also...well...he'd put it all very reasonably. It made her feel like she'd been wrung out, all the tension bled away in a big old anticlimax. And considering how some of her previous frank, fraught discussions with boyfriends had gone, this was a fucking relief.

"Now..." Sebastian said. "Tiffany, if you'd be so kind, as to...get off my chest."

"Nope." Tiff sprawled against him more.

Sebastian closed his eyes. "I have work."

"Nope."

Sebastian's voice became a cool, growly sound that shivered into her ear, like a worm. "Winters. Up. Now."

Tiffany felt her muscles jump and clench instinctively, her palms pushing herself up and off his back. Her eyes felt unfocused, but she could still clearly -- but she was looking from inside her head, rather than out of her eyes. It was like there was Tiffany, the body, and Tiffany, the mind. And Tiffany the mind floated in her body, which acted without thinking. She remained in that blissful, half aware state, then blinked, feeling her body and her mind merging together again with a shivery tingle. It was like her whole body came to life at the same instant, leaving her gasping.

"W-Whoa!" She said as Sebastian sat up, his face filled with horror.

"Oh Gaia," he said, reaching out, taking her hand. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking, I-"

"Did you just...use Dominate on me?" Tiff asked, her eyes wide as saucers as she looked into his red, red eyes. She knew that Ensnarement, the act of drinking a vampire's blood, weakened the defenses between a normal mortal and a vampire's mental mojos. The big whammies, Dominate, Presence, and Dementation normally required locking eyes on a vampire's peepers, but with Ensnarement, they could do it with their voice. A crooked finger. Some books that Christian had forced her to read had even claimed that a vampire's smell could do it.

Sebastian was still babbling. "It just...it's...I understand, if you wish to report me for some kind of disciplinary action -- we can organize a tribunal. I..." He put his hands over his face, in almost the same gesture she had used while freaking out over being a homophobe. Tiff couldn't help it.

"Dude, it was hot," she said. It was the first word to describe it that had popped out of her mouth -- and like most things Tiff said, she had to pause, rewind, think back, and reflect on what she meant. But...there was a kind of delicious, exciting edge to it. She had never been Dominated before. In fact, it was one of her favorite gambits, to trick a vampire into locking eyes with her, to have them burn some of their precious vitae while growing something like 'and now, Tiffany Winters, you shall kneel before me' and then yawning in their face, headbutting them, and staking them. Her Hunter's spirit kept her safe, so why not fuck with them?

But in that instant of floating disconnection, she had felt...at peace. Deeply centered and carefree. After years of the world depending on her...she hadn't needed to decide or worry about anything.

Sebastian, who had been mid self crucifixion, gaped at her. "It...I beg...your..."

"It was hot," Tiff said, blushing and shrugging her shoulders slightly. "Turned me on, you know?" She bit her lip. "Y-You know, I was kinda joking at first, but, uh...I'm actually pretty wetero right now, hah, wow." She blushed, furiously. She drew her knees up against her chest, settling back on the ground. Once again, she had to be thankful for the intelligent material that the ship was made of. It was comfy to sit on, unlike the metal it looked like.

Sebastian blinked a few more times.

The long, awkward conversation that was sure to follow was interrupted by Kfap breaking into the conversation. "Sebastian, Tiffany, the captain wishes to see both of you," she said, cheerfully. "Oh, and Tiffany, our prisoner wants to speak to you once you're done."

Tiff, who had scrambled to her feet, saluted, turned to the door, stopped, turned back, and looked at the ceiling. "What?" She looked back at Sebastian. "The prisoner wants to talkero to me? Miss God Empress? The glowy glow goop? The shapeshifter?" She frowned. "Why for?"

"She did not say," Kfap said. "However, she is not in solitary confinement or anything. You're free to visit her, so long as security precautions are taken."

Sebastian nodded. "Do you want me there with you?" he asked, his voice sounding brittle -- and Tiff remembered how disgusted he had felt using Domination on the shapeshifter. She blushed, squeezing his hand.

"You don't have too. But if you want to, you can," she said, nodding. "A-Also, I know that you're...you don't like Dominating people. You never ever have to Dominate me again. I'm just...I wanted you to just know, it was hotsfuck." She leaned up onto her toes and kissed his cheek, gently. Sebastian, the big stork of a vampire nerd virgin, coughed.

"W-Well..." He stammered. "I must confess..." He started for the door, which opened with a whirr and a hiss. "There is a part of me that...does enjoy the sense of power and, ah, virility, that using Domination creates."

"Ohh ho ho ho ho!" Tiffany put her hands on her belly. "Innnnnterbreasting."

"I regret my honesty already," Sebastian muttered.

***

"It's a braaaaain! In a jaaaaaaaaaar!" Tiff cooed melodramatically, her nose mashed up against the window that looked in on the operation theater. Two technicians -- both of them from engineering according to the pips on their chest -- and Dr. Galadrial were working together to disassemble the housing of Facilitator. They had left most of his 'body' back on the planet, but what they had brought with them was still a complex set of machinery: The jar, the brain, the life support gubbins, the wires and the machines and the hissing, clicking circuitry that connected everything together.

Tobias, who was grinning wryly as he leaned against the wall next to the window, nodded. "That's right, Tiff. But it's also a known brain in a jar. We had Kfap run through the genetic registry and this is the brain of one Monkar Solop, a Polyp from a Ngork world." He looked right at Tiffany. "The Ngork, after our first contact war, have an embassy. They share missing citizen and resident information with us, because they know that we have a vested interest in dealing with pirates."

Tiff nodded. "Makes sense." She frowned. "So, Monkar went missing?"

"Yup. While traveling between his homeworld and a Ngork spaceyard within a few dozen light years of the-"

"Neutral Zone!" Tiff slapped her palms against the glass, pushing herself back. "And he got snatched by the Capellans and turned into a brain in a jar in a floaty robot! Fuckersuckersons!" She shook her head. "Why? Why do it? Why brainnap people? AIs exist, like Miss Shipsoul."

"There's two big weaknesses to AIs," Tobias said, grinning. "At least, weaknesses as seen by the imperial powers, before you jump down my throat, Kfap."

"I wasn't about too..." Kfap said, sounding sullen, like she had been denied a chance to jump down someone's throat.

"Firstly," Tobias said, lifting a finger. "If an artificial intelligence gets too smart, too intelligent, too potent, then the Harrowers kidnap it."

Tiff frowned, slightly. Inside the operating ward, the brain was being carefully eased out of the jar and into a different, more complex jar. Readouts bleeped and whirred softly, and Dr. Galadrial looked deeply focused. She crossed her arms over her chest, squeezing tightly. "Why?"

"No one knows," Tobias said. "But the theory is the Harrowers...well, they live beyond the edge of the galaxy. Anyone that moves beyond the Rim gets zapped. Our long range observation has detected massive structures between our galaxy and Andromeda. We believe those are the Harrowers. One theory is that those structures are vast computers, taking advantage of the lack of background radiation and the lower ambient temperature to do calculations that would be impossible closer to a messy galaxy."

"Wiggy," Tiff whispered. "And so, they kidnap AIs that get to...much like them." She frowned. "Maybe they see it like how you guys see planets that aren't run by commies."

"Anarchists," Sebastian, who had been watching the operation beside her, swooped in.

"Ancommies," Tiff said, cheerfully.

"Less inaccurate," Tobias said, grinning over Tiff's head at Sebastian. "The second issue, by the way? An AI that gets too smart gets unruly."

"It's true, we do!" Kfap said, cheerfully.

"Skynet," Tiff whispered. "It decided our fates in a millisecond."

"Well, that's just hurtful." Kfap said, her voice pouting.

Dr. Galadrial finished sealing up the jar. He slid it into the wall replicator, then closed it. The faint whirring sound of a replicator working filled the air as the doc and his technicians started to strip out of their white suits and their helmets and gloves. Tiff whispered. "What are they doing?" she asked.

"Replicating Mr. Solop a new body," Tobias said.

"Ptbbttththth!" Tiff spluttered.

"What?" Sebastian's brow furrowed.

"You can just...replicate a body?" She asked, slapping her palms and face against the glass, mashing her eyes against the cool surface, trying to goggle at the replicator. Tobias and Sebastian both exchanged another glance.

"It'd honestly be weirder if we couldn't replicate a new body," Sebastian said. "A replicator is able to produce everything from a firearm to a spacecraft given sufficient time and lunar energies. A-And...the entirety of replicator technology is based off lycanthropic physics. A lycanthrope is able to conjure fantastically complex biological structures out of subspace at will. We're not even building a superior body -- this is just a standard Polyp body, not a super-strong one. A garou can rip a tank in half."

Tiff shook her head. "It's just...fucking wild, okay?" She grinned. "We can rebuild him. We have the technology." She said, gruff and low.

More whirring.

"How long is this going to take?" Tiff asked after a minute.

"Six hours," Tobias said, casually.

"Six hours?"

"First, you're saying it cannot be done," Sebastian said, frowning. "Now you're complaining that it's going to take too long?"

"That's me, Master," Tiff said, which caused Tobias to arch his eyebrow at Sebastian, who coughed and looked as flustered as anything. Tiff pushed herself away from the window.

"So," she said. "I think I'm going to check on the prisoner, if this is going to take six hours. She wanted to talk to me. Though, can she be a she if she's a shapeshifter?" She cocked her head. "I mean, I guess so. But wait, did we ask if she was a she, or are we just calling her a she because we met her in my form? Like, it'd be pretty silly to just call her the female shapeshifter just because she usually looks like a girl, when she's a shapeshifter and all."

"That's a cogent point, Winters," Sebastian said. "Delivered incoherently, but cogent. But don't go just yet. The body may take a while to grow, but Dr. Galadrial is setting up a vocal interface, so we can talk to him earlier."

"Oooh! That makes sense, Master," Tiff said. Then she closed her eyes. "Sebastian."

Tobias bit his lip. "Now, I'm your quasicaptain, meaning I'm only pseudoinvolved, but..." He paused. "You two want to talk about this? I mean, D/s is fine, so long as you keep your heads in the game."

Sebastian looked as if he wanted someone, anyone, to run up and stake him. "It's fine, Tobias."

"Okay," Tobias said, nodding. "But remember, we're in hostile waters out here."

"Space. The most hostileist of all waters," Tiff whispered, trying to sound like a movie announcer. Then, in her normal voice, she said: "Is it all right if I call Sebastian master, though?" She blushed. "Not that I like like him or anything, but...it's nice."

Tobias covered his face with his hand, but she could tell he was smiling. "You don't need my permission."

Sebastian, his mortification levels set to maximum, said: "Sir, I believe that Dr. Galadrial has set up the interface."

Tiff focused and saw that Dr. Galadrial was waving them in.

As they stepped into the medical bay, Dr. Galadrial spoke up first: "All right, Mr. Solop, the Captain is here."

"I wish to first say," Facilitator -- no, Monkar Solop -- spoke from the wall, his voice sounding as if he was standing right before them. "Thank you very much for everything you've provided me." Then, plaintively. "Are you quite sure it's free?"

"Yes, it is free," Tobias said, cheerfully. "We in the Federation don't see much use for money in situations like this. We're just glad to help you out."

"...right." Monkar coughed. "I...I suppose you want to hear the details of my story and what was going on with the Capellans?"

"Yeah!" Tiff said -- causing Tobias to shoot her a playful look. She realized he had been about to speak and felt like jamming her own mouth down her face. That didn't even make sense. But she was already on the donkey, time to ride it all the way to the pony cannon. "Also, like, uh, what's the deal with the Capellans? Have you seen any of them?"

"Yes..." Monkar said. "But I can't remember what they look like. It's all just a blur. They came on my ship like a whirlpool in a clear ocean. Before I knew it, the ship was taken and I was knocked unconscious. Their soldiers, I do remember: They were all robotic killing machines. Spiders. They looked like spiders." He shuddered convulsively. "But I do know that my brain was purchased and given over to the leader of the Capellans -- the CEO himself."

Tiff whistled. "Bill Gates in space with murder spiders."

"I don't recall his name, he was only referred to as the CEO," Monkar said, sounding distressed. "In fact, it's rather worrying how little I remember. It's all in foggy patches. Just...then I was on a world. It was a desert, howling, a wasteland. There wasn't an ocean to be seen in a thousand thousand kilometers. But then, I was instructed that I had been left at a dropoff point and told to signal passing ships for transport to markets. Then, it was all about sales and spying."

"Who did you spy on?" Tobias asked.