All Comments on 'All Things to All People Ch. 06'

Actually it would have been fun to see how Dave and Cynthia would have interacted, especially how Kitten would react to David.

I absolutely loved this story. Great character development, it was erotic when it was supposed to be, touching when it was supposed to be, happy and sad when it was supposed to be. Great job, and keep writing! I can't wait for more. You've got a fan in me.

That would have been interesting. I really like this story!

All in all a nice story, but you lose me every time you dabble into the scientific parts. Chemistry and molecular biology are two distinct things and even the not-so-average chemist has about as much idea of a virus as of a jet engine -just because he has a general idea how they work doesn't mean he can build one.

None of which is really important to the story itself, but the point is that when you throw around scientific bits and pieces in as much detail as you do here, you risk losing people who know how to do this and come off as biting off more than you can chew. Better use less detail in such aspects.

I liked the fact that it was diverse in its content, both sexual and not. It had me hooked from chapter one. I'm not a scientist..heck, it was my worst subject in school, but I was able to follow...for the most part...the scientific information. There were a few parts that didn't quite mesh for me, but, I understand how sometimes the story doesn't always fall together the way one hopes.

My biggest problem though was the ending....it seemed rushed somehow. I knew Dave and Cynthia would end up together at the last chapter. But, I was hoping to have a bit more...fire or interaction between them. For someone who was so picky about his submissive in the past, he caved quite easily. It might have been more believable if he had expressed desire before to have her as his submissive, instead of leeriness that she was responding to his Dominant nature. And, technically, since I am famous among my friends for pointing this stuff out, she just has to be near him, not in love with him. Yes, love makes it easier, but, at the same time, friendship/roommate status would have worked as well. Since she did not respond in a sexual frenzy around him, she could have had a normal life then.

But, as I said before, great story, very well done. Don't mind my rambling any, just an observation of mine. Please, don't stop writing

What a story!! I had to read the whole thing before I could comment. It was brillant and really well written!!! I don't really have a scientific mind but i still understood those bits and it was good to have those bits in as it made it interesting instead of being all about sex. Keep it up!! Awesome read!!

This story series is by far the best I've ever read online (not only on erotic pages but in general)! You really should think about writing books.

Thank you for a great reading experience!

I read all six chapters from start to finish in one sitting. The story, and by extension, you the writer, were amazingly attentive to details that are often overlooked in written sexual escapades. You kept details about clothing quick, which to some is a pro, and others is a con. You described her thoughts in detail, something that again fluctuates between positive and negative depending on the reader. Atop this, you wrote slightly differently depending on who the speaker was. I loved actually noticing the various drawls and slangs within the story. There was even character developement and a believeable plot line! All in all, you had an idea. You gave it form, plot, believeability and even romance, turning something without substance into a work of art. A snapshot of your psyche for others to do with as they please.

I'd give it a nine point five out of ten, and there are few books, let alone unpublished novellas, that I have that high a rating for. Of course, the added sexual enjoyment may be skewing my perceptions slightly, as well as having read the story between 2 and 4:30AM.

My only criticisms are not of the pace, or even the story itself, but rather its grammar. There were minor flaws throughout the six chapters, usually a word jumbled here or repetitious phrases there. If I may, I would enjoy going over the work for you again, pointing out minor corrections and sending you the finished copy, allowing you to edit it here on the site.

Looking at your profile shows that you've been writing for just over three years here, with updates as recently as two weeks ago. If you want a third party review on your works, send me an email. ElyasB33 at Gmail. Putting form to thought was always my weakness, but refining the material I'm handed in a manner intended is my strong point.

I'll be hoping for a reply within the week, but if I should not be so lucky, know that you've made my early morning. You really do have to love insomnia don't ya?

I don't usually comment, but this was an excellent story. Erotic, sexual, and compelling. Thank you for your writing.

I liked this story very much, not only for what it was, but for what it was not. While it delves into the fantasy, explores the dominance and submission that is at the core of the Mind Control genre, it allows conflict, loss and grief, making the characters more vivid and alive than I had come to expect.

Of course, the Mind Control genre calls for a larger helping of suspension-of-disbelief sauce than some other genres do, but I find that the story is nice and consistent, and only occasionally glosses over or oversimplifies the mundane aspects, which was again very pleasing.

Overall, I full score for a well-written piece with an original twist.

As I have read just about all the stories in mind control, I've found this one to be the best. Believeable to the point I was actually hopeing with Dave to find the cure. Keep up the excellent work look forward to more from you.

I'm one of those people who just always have to reading something, and I'll tell you that a lot of stories leave me a bit more than dissapointed; but your submission here was riviting! You should really consider submitting your work to a publisher! You've definetly got the goods to go pro in this writting game! Can't wait to read more from you, and if you ever do decide to publish your works let me know!!! You've got a customer anxiouly waiting! ;)

Finally a story with a happy ending, and one legitimate and not-cliche'. Thank you!

There was no sex scene between Dave and Cynthia! I feel cheated. You should do a sequel! Or at least an epilogue. :)

i loved this series. the only series that rival this is The Addicted Natural(on this site) and The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini!

Way to go Dave and Cynthia...absolutely loved the development of the series and look forward to reading more of your works. :) thanks!

I actually have an MD in Chemistry, and I was hooked in by your imagination, not by the erotic scenes, which, forgive me, are what some are fixated on. I'm quite leery in the way you presented the potassium chlorinate, and the meth's reaction to each other, but you've hit what the chemicals does to the human brain quite well. As for the cocaine, well, you've got an active imagination for using it that way. All in all, forgive me for saying this, but, I love this story, not because of its erotic content, but for it's curious plot. Congratulations to you.

Let me add to the praise this story received for the interesting take on what could have been a mediocre mind control plot. I appreciated the "switches" between Cynthia and "Kitten", and really got caught up in the race to help Cynthia and the characters she encountered.

My only problem with the story, aside from those annoying spelling errors that cropped up every couple of pages, was the author's clearly conveyed condemnation of Rob, for not exercising compassion and understanding in the circumstances.

The "circumstances" were pretty clear to anyone who isn't assuming they are living in a fantasy or sci-fi story: after making it clear for months she wanted to wait before moving into a sexual relationship, Cynthia has sex him one evening, then has sex with multiple guys almost immediately thereafter. Rob tries to come to her rescue, believing she's been drugged, then she disappears from college and starts hooking on the streets. He's supposed to assume this formerly straight laced grad student he's known for that long suddenly developed schizophrenia overnight?

Her actions are telling him she's suddenly not interested in basic fidelity. A guy who does that is a womanizing jerk, and a strong, independent woman who sees those actions should dump him like trash, and not listen to his lame excuses, right?

There's a great exchange in the movie Megamind that came to me when reading Cynthia's angry, hurt reaction to Rob' s rejection:

(Disguised SuperVillain to prospective, blissfully unknowing Love Interest): "What if I looked different?" (Unknowing LI) "You don't judge people on their appearance" (DSV) "What a relief!" (ULI) "You judge them on their actions."

(Long pause)

(DSV) "That's kind of petty; don't you think?"