All Comments on 'Allure of Dreams Ch. 01'

I've made this comment just to point out that there are incorrect tags on this story - "furry", "anthropomorph" and "anthro" - which seem to have been added in the editing process, as I'm certain I didn't include them when I submitted it. I'm not sure where to go to get this resolved.

Looking forward to how this plays out keep up the good work

I fell sorry for poor Mark. I mean seriously his parents kill him just for insurance money because he doesn't seem like he's going to make much of his life. I hope they don't get away with that. But as I said a good read so far.

This story idea has some promise to it and do hope that you'll keep it going. I like the fact that what you've conjured up is a unique aspect and angle and am eager to see where it goes. Some of the strong points of the story include the fact that Mark's parents tried to kill him, simply for being a waste of space! Did not see that one coming and I say, bravo!

On a differing note, a couple of constructive criticisms; Firstly, details, details, details! Although your descriptions of the various characters are good, a few additional detailing points to chisel out their appearance, like height, weight, bust, etc., would go a long way to making these characters stand out more in our minds.

Second and last one would be length of the chapter. Maybe extend future chapters a bit further than this one, so as to paint a bigger and more detailed picture for those of us reading your work. That's just a personal preference but I hope that you do find the time to lengthen them.

Anyways, I hope that you take these criticisms and work forward through them, so that your writing skills improve. As I said, this is a good start and I hope to see more in the near future! Cheers!

I haven't been writing for long so I appreciate any advice. Yes, I can definitely flesh out the descriptions of characters and increase the length of chapters.