Altering the Plans Ch. 06

"Don't be ridiculous," said Denise. "You can't not give me your phone number. I'm your mother. How would I get in touch with you?"

"You've never cared that much about getting in touch with me in the first place, so I doubt it would make a difference. Speaking of which, why were you trying to find me anyway?"

"We wanted to know if you've heard from Landon. He's not returning Roger's calls."

Maya decided to stretch the truth. "I haven't talked to Landon in a long time. We've never been close, you know that."

"If you'd stop changing phone numbers every other day, maybe people could find you to talk to you."

"Mom, if I hear from Landon, I'll tell him Roger called. Now I'm tired, so good night."

Her mother gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine. Good night."

Maya handed Allie her phone. "Well, now we know. Mom gave Dean my phone number, even though I asked her not to. I knew it; it was the only thing that made sense, but I was hoping not." Maya sighed.

"At least you know for sure," said Gabe. "I know it's a hassle, but we'll help you get another phone tomorrow, with a new number, and we won't give it to her. Not for a while anyway. If she needs to find you, she can call one of us."

"God, what if she gives Dean your numbers?" Maya asked, dismayed to find yet another concern. Would his effect on her life never end?

Gabe waved a hand. "Don't worry about it, we'll deal with it if it happens."

"You need to tell Toby," Allie said to Maya. "And the others."

"I know. I want to, I do," said Maya. "I'm scared he won't even talk to me."

"I think he will from what you told us," said Allie. "You both probably needed time to settle down. It's late, so don't worry about it now. But you need to tell him soon."

"I know. I hope I can."

"You can," Allie said. "He needs to know. I hate to say it, but even if things don't work out between you two, at least if you tell him things will end honestly. You'll know you told him everything, and he'll know why Dean did this."

I hope so, Maya thought later as she lay on the couch and tried to sleep.

x-x-x-x-x-x

After a sleepless night on Krista's couch following the fight, Toby wanted to go out and talk to Maya first thing in the morning, but his sister held him back.

"You're not in the right frame of mind yet," said Krista.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "I'm sorry and I'm worried and I want to see her. What other frame of mind should I be in?" The fear and worry that had diminished the night before had come roaring back this morning.

Krista sighed and motioned for him to sit at the kitchen table. "Calm down or I'm giving you decaf coffee."

"Fine." He sat and dragged his hands through his hair. "Look, have you at least heard from her? Have you texted her?"

"No." Krista shook her head. "But she's fine. Landon texted me earlier. I'm trying to give Maya some space."

"Didn't she give herself enough space?" Toby said and then, "Ow," after Krista smacked the back of his head.

She plunked his coffee down in front of him, causing some of the brown liquid to slosh over the top. She tossed him a cloth to wipe it up. "That, right there, proves that you are not ready to talk to her."

"She should have said something, especially when it wasn't just about her anymore," he said.

"Goddamn, you can be so fucking stubborn sometimes," Krista said. "What, do you like being mad?"

"Am I wrong?"

She sighed. "No, you're not, not entirely. But it doesn't matter now."

"Aren't you mad about any of it?" he asked. "Seriously, Kris, what if Dean had come to the shop and done something?"

"I said, you're not entirely wrong. Jesus." Krista shrugged. "I was disappointed, I think, and sad that Maya didn't think she could talk to me, or anyone. But it hurt her more than us, and I feel bad about that. And if he had, we would have dealt with it."

"I guess."

"Listen, Toby. Do you remember back in high school and you found out some of my friends were planning to embarrass me in the cafeteria one day? But you didn't want me to be upset, so you didn't tell me, because you thought you could stop it?"

"Yeah."

"Remember when it happened anyway and how mad I was when I found out you knew?"

Toby sighed. "Yeah. You were mad at me for days."

"This is kind of like that," Krista said, "just a little bigger. I knew you were trying to protect me, you just did it the wrong way, and I would have liked to have known so I could have protected myself. That's what happened with Maya."

Toby stared at the wall while he drank some coffee. His sister had a point.

"I guess you're right," he said.

"Of course I am," she said. "You should know that by now."

"Smart ass," he said, but with a smile.

He realized now that he should have taken a completely different approach. Yes, it would have been better if Maya had told someone what was going on. He still felt that it wasn't right that she'd kept the threats to the business to herself, but he didn't care anymore. He knew she hadn't done it to hurt him.

With a sigh, Toby let the last of his anger slip away. He wanted to talk to Maya, but Krista was right, he needed to cool down completely and do something thinking himself. He'd have to wait, but he'd waited for her before, and he could do it again. For a while.

"I rescheduled all your appointments today," said Krista.

"Why? I can work."

"Frame of mind," Krista said. "Trust me, brother mine, you should take a little time off. The first person who annoys you today is going to make it a lousy day for everyone else and personally I don't need that shit. Go paint or something."

"All right, all right. Damn, you're bossy," he said.

"No, I'm just giving you the kick in the ass you need to straighten yourself out. Now buzz off, I have to go to work."

"Okay, fine." He gave her a quick hug before he left.

Toby went home and tried to keep himself busy, even going so far as to clean up his art studio in an effort not to dwell on the situation. He stared at a blank canvas, but this time he couldn't figure out how to translate his emotions onto it. Jackson came over in the evening and they played some video games and avoided the subject.

The next day, Jackson dragged Toby to the basketball court. Toby wasn't in the mood, but hoped some physical exercise would help. He had to get his head on straight, if only because he didn't want to take two straight days off from work, and knew he had to be fully present for his clients.

"Come on, Toby, you're not even trying." Jackson dribbled past Toby's half-hearted attempt at a steal, threw the ball and banked it off the rim.

Toby caught the rebound and shook his head, trying to focus on the game. They were playing to a hundred points, and Jackson was up, 30-18. At least that's what Jackson said the score was. Toby thought it might be closer, but couldn't be sure. Despite his efforts to concentrate, he couldn't keep track.

"Okay, okay, okay," he muttered to himself. He dribbled the ball, eyed Jackson and the backboard, and made his move. He got past Jackson but lost the ball when it bounced out of reach.

Jackson nabbed the ball and stood bouncing it. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Toby said. He got into his stance, crouching a bit so he could move in whatever direction Jackson went, and bounced on the balls of his feet.

"You sure?" Jackson continued bouncing the ball and didn't move.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now, go."

Jackson dribbled, darted left, and this time Toby snagged the ball before his friend could get a shot off.

"See? I'm fine." Toby ran around Jackson, jumped back and let the ball fly. It would have been a perfect three-pointer if he hadn't missed the basket entirely.

"Nice shot," said Jackson.

"Shut up and play." Toby passed him the ball.

"Someone didn't have their morning coffee." Jackson took the ball, pacing as he dribbled, slowly moving towards the basket. "No wonder I keep running rings around you." He took off towards the basket, getting two steps in before Toby stripped the ball.

"Who needs coffee?" Toby dunked the ball. "See? I'm fine."

"Your experience on an organized team gives you an unfair advantage."

Toby rolled his eyes. "That was high school and going on fifteen years ago."

"Yeah, and you're out of shape, too." Jackson zipped by him and took a jump shot. It hit the rim, Toby grabbed the rebound, and jumped up for the score.

"Who's out of shape now?" Toby asked. "Next time you should lay off the pie." He passed the ball to Jackson.

"Pie is worth it," Jackson said. "In fact, next basket has to treat to pie."

"Deal." Toby gestured for his friend to hurry up.

"Hey, I think that's Landon."

"Nice try," said Toby. "Not falling for that again."

"No, seriously." Jackson stopped and put the ball under his arm. "It's Landon."

Toby turned to see Jackson was right. Landon gave them a quick wave as he crossed the street and jogged over to the court.

"You don't look dressed to play ball," said Jackson.

"Yeah, sorry. I saw you guys while I was on my way to work and wanted to say hi, but I had to go to the club first. Glad you're still here." Landon shook hands with each of them in turn.

It was all Toby could do not to demand where Maya was. The need to know if she was all right swamped him, but he closed his eyes and counted to ten. Wherever Maya was, it wasn't Landon's fault. It was Toby's for chasing her away.

"How's Maya?" Jackson asked as they walked over to a bench. He tossed Toby a water bottle and offered one to Landon, who declined.

"She's all right," said Landon. "Or will be. She feels terrible about the other night. I called her cousins and they came, I think that helped. I was doing what I could, but--" he shrugged "--she needed someone else, someone closer."

"That was good of you to call them," said Toby.

"Seemed like the best thing," Landon said. "Listen, Toby, I'm sorry, too. I don't know where my head was that night. I know I'm just finding my way with Maya and I guess the big brother instinct did kick in."

"No." Toby shook his head. "You were right. I was being a complete jackass. I was so upset I wasn't thinking straight." He scrubbed his face with a towel. "I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to talk to me. Ever."

"Are you serious?" Landon asked him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" said Toby. "She was already scared, and I added to it. I can understand if she's done with me."

Landon scoffed and glanced at Jackson. "He's not always this--dense, is he?"

Jackson shrugged. "Sometimes he's a little slow on the uptake, but he gets there."

"I am right here," said Toby.

"Trust me, man, she wants to talk to you," said Landon. "She just feels like everything is messed up and it's all her fault."

"I never thought it was her fault," said Toby. "I just wish she'd told me. I wanted to help." How many times had he said that in the last two days?

"I can't exactly speak for Maya, but I can tell you from my own experience that it is a little scary when you start to gather a group of people around you that you care about, and you think it's threatened," Landon said.

"Yeah, that's true," said Jackson.

"And when you think that you're the threat, that anything you do will make it worse, it makes you feel like you have nowhere to go," Landon said.

Toby sat down on the bench and dropped his head back. "I was mad she didn't tell me, but that was wrong. I'm mad at the dickhead for making her feel like she couldn't tell me."

"You're not completely off base," said Landon. "She should have told you, or told someone. If we'd had a better relationship before, maybe she would have told me. But maybes and should-haves and all that, they don't matter now."

"No, they don't," Toby agreed. What did matter was talking to Maya and figuring out what to do next.

"All right, guys, I have to go. Glad I saw you, though," Landon said. "Oh, I did want to tell you not to call Maya. She's getting a new phone and a new number. If you called before or left messages, she may not have seen them."

"All right. Thanks, Landon," said Toby.

Landon nodded and headed off to work.

"Well, that's kind of good news," said Jackson. "Knowing Maya's okay."

"Yeah." Toby finished his water. "I think I'm done for today, Jacks."

"Yeah, me too." Jackson nodded. "Let's get that pie and go to work."

Toby decided he could give Maya--and himself--one more day. He didn't think he could wait any longer than that.