Always Ch. 03

"...and so I was driving to his house," Riley heard Maria saying when she pulled herself out of her head, "and there he was, walking down the sidewalk. I thought he was drunk at first."

"What? Wait, what?" Riley knew she'd missed something.

"I was telling you about when I went to check on him this morning, after you texted me," Maria said, confused.

"Oh, yeah, why was he walking? Was he drunk?"

"No, I'm getting to that. So anyway, I stop and call out to him. He looked terrible. There was no color in his face and he looked like he'd been lost in the desert for a week. I got him into the car and he started telling me what happened. He said he was watching the TV and saw, well, what I already told you. When it was over, he said he couldn't make his brain work. He couldn't think what to do so he just ran. Physically ran. He said he took off and ran until his body gave out. He passed out under a tree for a while and when he woke up, he didn't even know where he was. He said he just picked a direction and started walking. That had to have been three hours or more before I found him and he was still just over a mile from home.

"I got him back to his apartment, made him take a shower, and you can just un-squint those eyes girl, I pointed him toward the bathroom, and told him to take a shower. I didn't help. I stayed, on the couch, until he came out and then I told him you would be home tonight and y'all could talk it out. I gave him my number in case he needed anything, but I haven't heard from him."

"So his phone's not broken? He just really didn't want to talk to me."

"First off, I'm sorry I lied about that. I just didn't want to upset you while you were working, and 600 miles away. Secondly, I don't think it was that he didn't want to talk to you. He just took off and forgot to take his phone. He wasn't thinking, he was just running on pure adrenaline."

"I've got to go see him, explain everything," Riley said, starting to get up.

"Want me to come with?" Maria asked.

"Thank you for everything but no. I need to take care of this myself," Riley said, putting her hand on Maria's on the table.

"Call me if you need me, girl," Maria said.

"I will. Love you," Riley said, turning toward the door.

"Love you too," Maria called after her. "Heaven help you, Hunter Maxwell, if I ever love you as much as she loves that man," she said softly, reaching for her fountain drink cup.

*****

Consciousness came slowly to Raph. The room was dark but he could still see. His whole body hurt from the ends of his toes to the tips of his hair. "How the hell does my hair hurt?" he wondered. As he tried to reboot his brain to clear it of the mental chaos that had overloaded it, he felt a presence in the dark. A light floral scent hovered in the air. Something warm and firm pressed against his shoulder and hip. He felt the lightest touch, stroking his hair and a warm breath moved over the back of his neck. He was still lying on his stomach, just as he'd fallen. He hadn't moved an inch in however long he'd laid here. He felt a warm wetness on his cheek where he imagined he'd drooled, or cried, or maybe both.

The light stroking touch left his head and moved downward, down his back, until it reached his lower back before it snaked around his torso, cupping his ribs lightly and squeezing possessively. He mustered his strength and ignoring the accompanying pain, lifted his head, and turned it the opposite direction before his strength played out and his head dropped back to the bed. In the instant, before his head fell, he saw the haunted, sad hazel eyes, framed by straight, light-brown hair. Perfect supple lips that told no tale one way or the other. His last thought was he was glad Riley was home, before a tidal wave of blackness swept over him, consuming him, drawing him back out into the ever-darkening depths.

****

When Raph next awoke, it was completely dark. He was under the covers, laying on his side. His recent memories flickered through his mind like an old 8mm Christmas video, projected onto a white sheet held to the wall with thumbtacks. Could it all have been a bad dream? He reached for the nightstand to retrieve his phone. His arm felt odd, stiff, sore, like after a hard workout when the lactic acid builds up in the muscles. He managed to pick his phone up and bring the screen into his view.

It was 3:28 in the morning. There were 8 missed texts and 4 missed calls. Opening the phone he saw all the calls and texts were from Riley and they were many hours old. How long had he slept?

A soft sigh and slight movement caused him to freeze in place. A slender hand snaked up, over his rib-cage, and around his waist. It came to rest on his bare chest as a warm body pressed against his back.

"Raph?" came the softly whispered question, close enough that he felt the warm breath on his neck and ear.

Raph scooted over so that he could lay on his back and look beside him. Riley was laying on the bed beside him. She propped herself up on her elbow as she looked uncertainly down into his eyes. The light from the cell phone creating odd shadows and highlights. She had one of his tee-shirts on which was pulled sideways, exposing one bare shoulder.

"Hey you," he whispered.

"Hey you," she smiled at him as a single tear rolled from the corner of her eye.

Raph reached his hand up, wiping the tear away with his thumb before cupping her face in his hand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You're sorry?" her quivering voice asked.

"I'm sorry that either I left the room in your heart for another to enter, or I'm sorry that I was so faithless to believe that you might have done what my mind thought you had done. Either way, I'm sorry."

"Oh, Raph," she cried as she grabbed him, hugging him close, lovingly, possessively. "You have nothing to be sorry for. We're all human. I know that I trust you, but I'm still jealous. Maria told me what happened, and in your shoes, and if I'm being honest with myself, I might think the same thing. I will tell you all of it, I promise, but for tonight just know that you are my only love and you've left no room, whatsoever, for anyone else in my heart."

Raph wrapped his arms around her tightly, burying his face in her shoulder. His mind struggled between relief and guilt. How could he let himself go there? Why did that have to be his first reaction? His insecurities were a destructive time-bomb. If he was ever to have a life with this beautiful creature, he would have to allow himself to trust her completely until such time that he was presented with cold, hard, unimpeachable evidence to the contrary.

Riley was kissing his neck and nibbling on his ears. The pent up emotions she'd had since arriving and finding him near comatose in the bed flooded out of her in a torrent. She cried. She laughed. She loved, and she realized, had become very excited. Laying on top of him she could feel that his body was responding to her as well. She reached down, pulling the oversize shirt up enough to push her satin panties down so that she could worm them off with her legs. She then pulled the tee shirt up and over her head, throwing it on the floor.

Raph was quick to realize when Riley pulled her shirt off and laid down, skin on skin, on his chest. He felt the hard nubs of her erect nipples. He moved his hands down her bare sides and found no panties when his hands reached her hips. He placed his hands directly atop both her firm rounded butt cheeks and gave a firm squeeze. Riley's moan and the grinding of her hips against his now fully erect member were his rewards.

Riley raised her head and found his waiting lips. She crushed her lips to his, immediately assaulting his lips with her tongue. It was a battle quickly yielded as Raph opened his mouth to welcome the victor. She raised her hips when she felt him trying to relieve himself of his boxers and soon, she was laying directly on his steel-hard erection. As she rocked her hips, her now wet, engorged lips rubbed along the length of his shaft, coating him with her natural lubrication. She continued to kiss him passionately as she scooted her hips up onto his body just far enough to feel his now free erection spring up to lay softly on her butt. She reached back, taking hold of him and positioned him at her entrance. As the head found its target, she pushed herself down, taking half his length with her first push. She changed direction, pulling up before going back down again. Three strokes later he was fully encased in her soft, wet, warmth.

Raph continued to kiss her shoulders as he moved his hands between them to gently squeeze her high firm breasts. She sat up to give him better access as she continued the steady up and down rhythm. He rubbed his thumbs around the outside edges of her nipples as she arched her back and pressed her body forward, aching for the contact she desired. Finally, he captured both nipples between his thumbs and middle fingers and gave them a light squeeze and twist. Her reaction was immediate. Her pace quickened and her breath became more ragged. Before she could reach her climax, Raph rolled them both over. He looked down into her hazel eyes, saw the passion and the love. She brought her legs up and Raph hooked his arms under her knees, bringing her long sensual legs higher, altering the angle of his entry.

Riley was surprised when Raph flipped her over on the bed. Although they had made love several times in the past few weeks, he had, for the most part, let her control their lovemaking. She loved being on top, watching his face as he filled her deliciously. She could rock her hips and rub her clit against his pelvic bone which gave her intense sensations. Now, however, he had rolled her over and raised her legs high. The new angle caused his velvety head to directly stimulate a hidden place within her. With every thrust it was like lightning traveling throughout her body, making every nerve hypersensitive. Suddenly the point where his large hands held her calves, became an erogenous zone. The feel of his thighs, cradling her butt caused an erotic sensation. He was claiming her on a primal level. She was his, she would be his, now and forever. This realization was as stimulating as his touch and her orgasm was building quickly.

"Yes - please - take me," she begged, breathlessly.

His hips thrust strongly, sweat beaded on his face, a sheen covered his chest. The look of concentration on his face told her he was fighting back his orgasm in hopes of her finishing first. Even as he claimed her as his own, he still considered her pleasure, her release, her satisfaction.

"I'm coming!" Riley yelled as the wave crashed over her. Raph maintained his hammering rhythm for a few more seconds before burying himself deeply, erupting again and again as she held tightly to his wrists as her orgasm finally began to subside.

Raph stilled. His sore, recovering body shook with the exertion. He pulled each of her legs to him, kissing her shapely ankles in turn before moving them gently to the side and laying them on the bed. He leaned down to kiss her, gently, a bead of sweat falling from the end of his nose onto her cheek.

"Stay here," he whispered, "I'll get you a washcloth and towel."

He got up, a little unsteadily, and walked naked to the bathroom. He returned with a warm wet washcloth and a towel. He helped her clean up before helping her up out of the bed. While she went to the bathroom, he got them both some clean shorts and shirts.

He dressed and went to the kitchen where he took two bottles of Gatorade from the refrigerator. He drank nearly all of one on the way back to the bedroom. The second he handed to Riley who had come back from the bathroom and found the clothes on the bed. She had put the shirt on, but the shorts were still laying on the bed.

"Thank you," she said, taking the bottle from him. "For everything."

"No, thank you for not calling me out for being the idiot I was," he smiled at her. "Do you want to get up now or go back to sleep?"

"I think I could sleep a little more," she said, yawning.

"Okay," he said as she climbed back into the bed.

Raph climbed in beside her and laid back on the pillow. She snuggled up and laid her head on his chest and her arm across his body.

"I love you," she said, sleepily.

"I love you too, Riley," he said, kissing the top of her head before reaching over and turning out the light.

*****

Raph awoke with a start. He was on his back, alone in the bed. His fragmented thoughts raced to align themselves into some sense of order and the details of the past 24 hours began to come into focus. A wave of guilt washed over him, like cold black water, crashing violently on top of him, taking his breath, drawing him down into the depths. How could he have had the thoughts, the suspicions he'd had? Had he so little faith in the bond between Riley and himself? The next wave, realization that there had been no transgression, was more subtle, giving him buoyancy, helping to propel him toward the surface and the light. The final wave, forgiveness received from Riley for his lapse in faith, was a brilliant blue warm force that lifted him to the surface and propelled him gently to the shore, to safety. A single tear of relief, joy, blessedness rolled from the corner of his eye.

Raph sat up on the side of the bed, a new resolve to be worthy of the love given him. He rubbed his face with his hands and got up. His body cried in protest as his sore aching muscles all tried to check in at once. Ignoring the roll call, he opened the bedroom door. The smell of bacon and eggs assaulted his senses. He saw Riley standing at the stove, still wearing his tee-shirt. She was bare-legged and barefoot. Her hair was in a ponytail and he could hear her humming that little tune she hummed when she's happy. No painter or sculptor could have ever captured the stunning beauty of this scene, not even his namesake Raphael. He could have stood like this forever and never tired of the view. Some inner sense must have alerted Riley to his presence because she was already smiling brightly when she turned to look over her shoulder at him.

"Hey you," she said softly.

"Hey you," he replied, his voice hoarse and his throat tight.

"Come, sit down," she beckoned. "Breakfast will be ready in a minute."

"It smells wonderful," he said, walking, or more accurately, limping to the small dining table.

"Thank you," she beamed. She opened the refrigerator and removed a carton of orange juice, poured a glass, and sat it on the table before him. She also handed him two ibuprophen. "Drink that and take these. After your run yesterday and - last night - you're probably still dehydrated and I can see that you're still hurting."

Raph took the offered glass of orange juice and after the first sip did feel his body scream for more. By the time she set the plate of eggs and bacon in front of him, he'd already drained the glass. She refilled it before sitting down with her plate and glass.

"So, are you ready for the whole sordid tale?" she asked.

"You don't have to tell me anything, Riley. I acted a fool. I should have known that I could trust you and I'm sorry that faith faltered in the face of my insecurities."

"It's OK, Raph. Honestly, if you weren't at least a little jealous, I think my feelings might be hurt. I want you to love me to the point that you're scared to lose me. I know I feel that way about you. Yesterday may have been a bit more of a reaction than what is healthy, but I think it's a learning opportunity for both of us. We're in this together and if I can say it without scaring you to death, for better or worse. We're going to have hurdles and misunderstandings. It's all part of two people trying to mesh their lives, personalities, and yes, insecurities into one cohesive life together."

"I don't deserve you," he said.

"Do you deserve the circus that is my life, my issues, my insecurities, no, you don't, but too bad, you're stuck with them as long as you're stuck with me," she said, reaching over to take his hand.

"I'll do better. I'll be better," he said, squeezing her hand gently.

"We both will," she said lovingly. "Now, let me tell you all about my trip."

*****

Raph and Riley started their healing that morning at the table. A milestone had been reached in their relationship. They'd both had to deal with some deep-seated feelings and emotions. They'd had to do some deep soul searching, identifying their weaknesses, recognizing them for what they were, resolving to make them better.

Raph set up a lunch with Steve shortly after. Just the two of them. He laid out everything that had happened. He intended to simply explain himself and to assure Steve that he would work daily to be worthy of Riley's love. As it turned out, Steve provided counsel, bared his soul on love, marriage, pain, and forgiveness. Steve stepped in and helped fill the cavernous hole left by the death of both of Raph's parents. He spoke to Raph as a father to a son, not the overprotective father to his daughter's boyfriend, although that facet remained as well. Raph knew that Steve would do whatever was necessary to protect his little girl, but he shared parts of himself with Raph as well, making him feel like family, like he had someone in his corner. Something Raph had craved in recent years.

*****

"Raph, Riley, this is Hunter," Maria said as she and the nervous-looking young man stood at the front door of Riley's house.

Raph extended his hand, which Hunter shook. Raph noted the sweaty palms and truly felt sorry for Hunter's almost crippling shyness.

"Good to meet you, man. Maria speaks highly of you, and I think highly of Maria," Raph said, winking at Maria who blushed slightly.

"Yeah, uh, you too and same here." he stammered.

Riley, well, was Riley. She stepped forward, embracing Hunter in a hug, kissing him on the cheek before stepping back, dropping her arms to clasp both his hands with hers.

"Hunter, it is so nice to finally meet you," she smiled her beautiful smile at him. "I have heard so much about you that I feel like I already know you. As you know, Maria is my oldest and dearest friend. If she loves you, I love you and you are family. Welcome to our home," she said sweetly.

Hunter had a moment when he looked like he might bolt, but he raised his eyes, meeting her soft hazel eyes. He licked his parched lips and swallowed visibly.

"Thank you he said, and uh, happy birthday," he managed to say.

"Thank you, Hunter," she beamed. "Now y'all come in and let's get this party started!" she said happily. She released one of Hunter's hands and grabbed Maria's, pulling them both into the house and down the hall.

Raph smiled, closing the heavy wooden door. She truly had a superpower to make even the timidest spirit feel special. He turned and headed down the hallway, following the excited voices.

The "party" was just the four of them. Raph had brought up a table from the barn and set it up on the patio. He'd grilled burgers, hot dogs, and a couple of pork tenderloins that had been on the smoker since early morning. Maria and Riley had brought out trays of vegetables and condiments. A large pitcher of iced tea provided the drinks.

They sat around the table and got acquainted. Hunter slowly but surely began to come out of his shell. Riley made sure to include him and little by little his nervousness began to melt away. He went from only answering direct questions to joining the conversation and asking questions of his own. Riley promised to give him the lowdown on Maria. Maria threatened her, in jest. It was a great time had by all.

Maria gave Riley a large gift bag with colored tissue stuffed in the top. When Riley removed the tissue and reached inside, she pulled another smaller sack from inside. Raph immediately recognized the pink and white striped bag. Riley looked inside, then at Raph, her face blushed bright red.