Amanda, My Cousin; Mandy, My Lover Ch. 03

The broken ribs and bullet wound sucked, but the follow on infection is what really took its toll on my body. I got as far as Germany, but didn't get Stateside for a few months. All that time Mandy and I talked a little, but that wasn't enough for either of us. And because we weren't "family", she could not come over to visit.

I was sent home eventually. Along the way I ran into my "teacher" Tina. She had a different last name. She had been married, but wasn't as lucky as some. He had been killed. She was borderline suicidal and had her own demons from her service to deal with. I reached out to Wendy for counseling help for Tina. That was when I found out how bad Mandy was doing. I had what I thought would be good news, but I kept it in my back pocket for now.

I knew what I had to do. I needed out in an honorable way so I could make an honest woman of Mandy since she was still hanging on to us. At least I hoped she still was. And I needed to talk to her family. I needed an answer as to how they would react.

I had 30 days before I had to report to what I hoped was my final Permanant Change of Station. When I told my career counselor what I wanted, he tried to dissuade me, but then wished me luck. I stopped by my folks' house for a couple of days, and in that time I visited my grandparents.

And luck would have it-with a little bit of design and planning- Mandy's grandparents were there too. Playing cards and eating Sunday Chicken like all old people do.

After pleasantries were exchanged, I shifted the topic from me to Mandy. "So have you seen her lately?"

"Oh, no, not really. She's in Kansas City. That's a long drive..."

"She was devastated when she thought you were killed."

"She was pregnant. We weren't supposed to know, but we found out. Kathy gleefully told us."

Ugh, what a pain in the ass Kathy is going to be.

"Supposedly her boyfriend was killed too. Caused her to miscarry. At least you survived. Maybe you knew her boyfriend? WE never met him. He went to ISU with you guys I think."

I listened and finally said, I think we need to have a talk.

I proceeded to give them the Rated PG version: how I met her in class. Was smitten by her (old people love that kind of language!) How she was friends with all of us, probably better friends with Wendy than me. How we discovered at the 50th Anniversary party that we were related, kind of.

"Oh, I knew there was chemistry there. You cannot fool a grandma," Fran said. "Please go on."

How it started innocent enough that she needed a place for the summer, asked Wendy, and they wanted my approval since I was the one that would be around. "Of course she can stay!"

"It seemed funny that she needed to take a summer class. But it's all making sense now," Fran added.

And we fell in love. And she kind of followed me to Fort Benning...

"I thought that internship in Atlanta was a dumb idea, but now it makes sense," Fran said again.

And how she absolutely would not marry a soldier in uniform.

"Did she ever explain why to you?"

"No, or I would have tried to calm her fears."

"Her Uncle Jim- Kristen's sister Kassie's husband was killed in Gulf War 1. Amanda would remember that," Johnny said.

I had to think a moment: "Kathy" was Mandy's sister. "Kristen" was their mom, and "Kassie" must have been the aunt she mentioned in one of her denials of my proposals, but she never explained it.

CLICK. It was all starting to make sense. One last hurdle to get over. The 800 pound gorilla in the room.

"We never said anything to you guys on account of us being cousins. Where do the four of you stand on that?"

They all looked around. None of them made eye contact with me. I swear they made a huddle and whispered, "psst psst psst" noises. In my head they were talking like that anyway.

Finally, after what seemed like the longest time ever, Fran spoke for the group, "You need to go get her. And this time, do not take 'no' or 'just wait' for an answer." They all nodded their agreement.

My next move was not to go to KC and sweep her off her feet. I went to ISU, registered for a grad class and an undergrad class, and talked to my new boss. He said that since I hadn't officially reported yet, to do what I needed and he would see me when I reported for duty.

Next I went to Omaha to see a judge. The toughest judge that I had ever stood before, Mandy's father. And yes, he was a District Court Judge.

Fran had given me a phone number for him and I explained that I wanted to talk with him about Mandy. He said, "2pm, a place called Moonie's near the courthouse. Ask for Judge Ross' table. I frequently have meetings there so we can have a nice conversation." He gave me the address just in case. "And welcome home, young man. I'm glad you're back. Your absence was tough on Amanda, which was tough on us. She had a rough time and the erroneous news of your death seemed to hit her harder than we expected. No offense, I hope. You guys must be really good friends. We are so happy you are back."

"Thank you, sir. Yes, it is wonderful to be back. And I cannot wait to see Mandy again. I will see you at 2 tomorrow. And thank you again, sir."

I got there earlier than I needed to, but did not want to make him wait. I figured that would send a bad message. I really wanted about 3 or 4 shots of something strong, but figured water would serve me better. I wanted his help and blessing, but was going to just take what I wanted and would tell him that if needed.

When the judge walked in, it took him about 5 minutes to get to the table, which added to my anxiety. Everyone wanted to talk to him, say hi, shake his hand. Finally he sat down, we made small talk, ordered our food. He ordered a drink and I did the same.

"So how is the leg? Better or worse than the ribs?" He asked, genuine concern, but also in a way that let me know he did his homework.

"The leg is better, but after the knee a couple years ago that made me drop out of Ranger school, and now the leg, I don't see any more jumping out of perfectly good airplanes in my future."

"Sounds safer, I guess. So I hear you played cards with my folks the other day. How were they and your grandparents all doing?"

How much did they tell him?

This continued for a bit. Call it "discovery". Finally, I took the plunge and gave him a PG, maybe PG-13 rated version of our romance. "Sir, I am in love with Mandy and I hope she still is in love with me. She was better friends with my roommate, he classmate, but we fell in love. I hope you and Mrs. Ross can get behind us. Your parents are. Fran told me to go to her and not take 'no' for an answer. And I intend to do just that. I hope you are okay with that. I hope I can get your permission and blessing, but I intend to go to her after I talk with you."

The judge turned back into lawyer and cross examined me. He was a good, fair judge, but as a lawyer for his client, he was one of the best. And I did not feel like his client.

When we finished our discussion he leaned back in his chair, kind of appraising everything he had heard. Then he abruptly stood up, dropped his napkin and said, "I have to get back." He patted his pockets, looking looking for his wallet. "I seemed to have forgotten my wallet, can you pay?"

He has his own reserved table, I'm sure he has a tab also, but I played along, "Sure, it would be my pleasure, sir."

I stood up also, we shook hands, and then he said, "Thanks for lunch, and for coming to see me. Let me talk to Mrs. Ross and maybe we can have you over for supper sometime soon." And then he added, "Welcome home, son. We are all very happy you are okay. Amanda would be lucky to have a young man like you to take care of her."

So that went well! At least until he talked to his wife, maybe.

A few hours later my new cell phone rang. It was Mrs. Kristen Ross calling. Here it was, my moment of truth. Would I have their support, or would we be on our own if Mandy still wanted me?

"So, I hear you had lunch with my husband and without me?" Not a great start.

"Yes, ma'am. I felt I needed to talk to him first," was about the best I could come up with.

"Why? Do you value my opinion?"

"Yes, ma'am. But Fran and Johnny only gave me his phone number. That's part of it, but I figured I should talk man-to-man with Mandy's father." I was going in, there was no turning back now.

"Do you know what you put her through?"

"We've talked, I have an idea."

"So when did you start taking advantage of my daughter, and when did you think you might actually love her?"

Wow, this could maybe go worse, but I am not sure how. Talking to The Judge was much easier. But I held my ground and pushed ahead.

Finally she said, "Well, as I understand my husband made you pay for lunch, at a place where he has a table and a tab. We owe you a meal. You will come by our house at 6pm tonight and we will take you out for dinner."

I knew he had a tab! Some sort of alpha male play. But I was invited in by the tougher of the two to win over.

"I won't take 'no' for an answer. And please wear your uniform if you have it packed."

I couldn't argue. I went to dinner, I looked like a million bucks, and they introduced me as "Amanda's good friend and war hero." I was not, nor am I a hero. But they seemed proud. And I had their blessing and approval. Next step was 3 hours south to KC to win over Mandy!

I talked with Wendy to get appraised of the situation, then contacted Mandy. I had a hotel room booked in "our" hotel we stayed in on my birthday what seemed like a lifetime ago. I said we needed to talk and where did she want to meet? She said she would pick up take out food, or we could do room service. And she asked if she needed to pack a bag, toothbrush and pajamas?

"Probably, and add swimsuit but leave the pajamas home if you like..."

She laughed, said she would be there around 5pm, and would pack a bikini. We appeared to be good...or would we hit another low point? At this stage it appeared that if Mandy went any lower it might crush us both.

About 4pm there was a knock at my door. I opened the door and it was Mandy, shorter hair than I have ever seen her in, glasses on, conservative top and skirt on. A small bag and her purse over her shoulder. Even though she looked like a librarian or bank teller, she was absolutely radiant!

Then she rushed me, pushing me back to the bed. "Take your clothes off, now." It was not a suggestion but definitely a command. I followed orders. I started to strip and so did she. I was naked, and she had a sexy bra and matching panties that I had to strain to see. She got on her knees, took me into her mouth, got me good and hard and slicked up but stopped me short of cumming. I was glad. Since I had last been with Mandy I don't know if I even had a boner since then. Add in the fact I had been so sick, I had feared I would struggle to get it up.

No problem, Mandy was the best prescription for me. For whatever was wrong, in that instant I knew it would be okay. And only get better.

She said, "Now it's my turn." She lay back on th edge of the bed and spread her beautiful, fit, lovely legs...

And was wearing crotchless panties. THOSE crotchless panties! And I went to town. I dove into her with my tongue like a starving man eating his first meal in weeks. Months, maybe years. We both needed that.

"I need you inside me. Be gentle, and pull out. I am not on the pill. I need to feel you, but in case you didn't notice, I'm wearing glasses..."

Afterwards, in post-coital glow, I turned the tables on her, "What are you thinking, my dear?"

"Mmm, I'm thinking that risking losing you and being a war widow is better than losing you after keeping you at a distance. I was so alone. Wendy said she heard you were killed. And then you weren't killed but might die. Had been evacuated." She started to cry, "I felt so bad that you were alone. Since I wasn't your wife, I wouldn't be allowed to visit. I checked. I was non-existent to the Army, and both of us were alone."

She tried to compose herself, then continued, "I was pregnant-WE were pregnant. And if I had our baby, even if you...", she sobbed, caught her voice, and continued, "I would never be without you. And then I lost our baby."

I held her tighter, so tight I was afraid of hurting her, "YOU did no such thing. Don't ever put that on you again. For whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be."

"And then I thought of all the wasted time. All the love, and secrecy. If I had married you, maybe things would have been different" she said.

"Yes, they would have been. And maybe we would have had 3 or 4 kids by now. Maybe I would have been killed instead of wounded. Maybe you would have been killed in a car crash or house fire wherever we would have been living. But the fact of the matter is that those decisions we made have gotten us to HERE, where I don't intend to ever let you go again." I kissed the top of her head as an exclamation mark.

"We need to talk to our families. I don't care what they say, but we need to talk to them."

"I already have. Fran and Johnny said to not take 'no' for an answer. Both our parents are happy for us, too."

"You talked to them? All of them?" She asked.

"Yes," as I filled her in on the last few days.

"Where will we live? Where are you going to be stationed next, and when?"

"We are going back home, ROTC, 2 years, then I'm out. This is my last posting. No war, no foreign service. I talked to The Genral, and that house is not available, but I did find us a place. And where we go after that is totally up to us."

We made love one more time, then swore off sex until we got married a few months later over Thanksgiving Break. In Key West, with Wendy and her husband as our witnesses.

Epilogue:

While I'd love to say, "And we lived happily ever after...", we didn't. Coming home was tough. PTSD for me. And for Mandy. Cancer for me where she basically had to raise our 3 kids and take care of me for almost a year. We beat it for now, but every day we wake up we are grateful.

Wendy and Mandy work together as counsellors in Jacksonville, FL. Wendy works with veterans and Mandy works with their spouses and families. It's tough, tough work. Somedays she has nothing left when she gets home, but still manages to love the kids and me. I don't know how she does it.

Wendy had her own dragons to slay, and for the most part, she has. But for her also, it's tough to listen to other problems all day and then deal with her own.

Tina, my "teacher" in sexual pleasure, failed at suicide, got in touch with Wendy, and is doing better. She got married and had a couple of children. She is a PTSD survival story and volunteers a lot of her time to help with wounded and disabled vets.

We occassionally hear from Mallory, mostly on Facebook. She has been to Florida for vacation and always visits. She did finally settle down with a man, but they felt too old to have their own children, but are wonderful foster parents.

Lori, my first love, as actually an ROTC instructor for a time while I was. I will always love her, and we both had a personal and discussion once about our relationship. Did either regret it, or regret letting the other go?

No, we both were happy with how our lives turned out. She married well and is happy, and I saw her a couple of years ago when we took a new, upstart airline flight, and she was our pilot. We keep in touch on Facebook.

Mandy and I are still married. We have 3 healthy kids, are in love every bit as deep as we were that first summer. We had lots of ups and downs, but that broken road we travelled was the best thing ever.

I truly believe that.