All Comments on 'Amber and Daddy'

A little rushed, but you definitely need an editor for example "he realized she had been away the whole time" ....should be "awake", otherwise an awkward sentence.

This would have been a very good scene had you written an actual story to go with it.

Just another jack-off written words as it can not be called a story there wasn't any story to it.

I happen to be a dad - and right now, I am sitting in front of my computer, getting ready to watch a similar incest video, with my lovely daughter sleeping quietly in her room.

I don't care what anyone else says - I liked the story, the setting, and the dialogue. As far as I am concerned, the whole thing was pretty true to life.

My only suggestion is to change the reason that her door was cracked in the first place. If she had seen her daddy masturbating to incest porn, and then ran to her room to quickly pretend that she had been asleep and took all of her clothes off in the hopes that daddy might catch a glimpse and get turned on by her, then I think the story would be more solid.

Anyway - good job, and thanks for contributing it!

There's the beginnings of a good story in here. The end was abrupt, like you were starting another scene and just lost steam. Cut out the last paragraph and even the scene would be better.

This reads as if it's from a guy with very little experience sexually or a woman without a clue.

There is no real plot, no story and no proofing. For your next try ask for help with editing and structure.

Well the story has merit, it was just not written overly well... Superfluous crap put in, like her wanting him to cuddle and he goes off and spanks his dick down, brushes his teeth, flosses, mouthwash (why? He just brushed, not like he has bad breath right after brushing!) ...then he shaves? Wtf? So at least a half hour plus of story time written in, which we dont care about and which never played into the story amyway...

I dont have a problem with the door cracked, she knew where he was and wanted him to see her naked, hoping he would just walk in. Stupid daddy, closing the door! Lol.

So he goes in, gets UNDER the covers and spoons up against her ass THEN he 'felt odd'?! Really? He intentionally put his pervy ass under the covers and spooned and felt odd? Totally out of story character. Then gets wood and moves his dick away? Out of character again, he wouldnt have gotten under the covers and spooned if he was worried about her feeling it, he KNEW he was going to get hard again!

He was afraid of it touching her but whipping it out and jacking off is better? Rofl.

Fast forward to him knowing she's awake and he starts feeling her up... Then he just ASSUMES that shes NOT a virgin and shoves two fingers in her?! Maybe the author only knows loose women, hell if my wife is wet and I just shoved two fingers in she would tell me to ease off, it hurts just shoving them in like that, lol. (Guess Im blessed with not being married to the holland tunnel like some;)

'He grew to full attention inside her'. ....i thought he was already hard?

She jacks him up then says 'Im kinda tired'? Uh, no Im not jacking off on your tits, Im going to fuck the hell out of you and put you up wet, you little tease! You wanted it hard and make it hurt? I can do that!

....well you get the point, good plot, lots of issues that really, really distract from enjoying it. ...and usually the first time you have sex with someone you dont say 'make it hurt' because you may not know what your adking for! Lol.