All Comments on 'Amber Ch. 10'

Hopefully the end of the story!

...for not turning this story into something trashy by making her some kind of man hungry slut. I despise it when truly beautiful stories like this one succumb to the 'suggestions' of some readers to make it into some weird, unnecessary orgy. Their first time was beautiful and it was fitting to let go of the little girl in her in her old home! I for one would LOVE to read more about them as they start their lives with one another! I really do hope you continue this. If not, please know that you have been added to my list of favorite authors with this story! Congrats on a job well done with this!!

Why would Amber be on the pill and why would she have popped her own cherry if she was supposed to be a virgin? And in Chp. 9, she allowed Aaron to cum on her face. Doesn't sound like a virgin to me.Sounds to me like Amber is a very experienced young woman! I think Aaron was just one of Amber's many sexual conquests. But, that is my opinion.

I just loved the story and the decent ending. Beautiful!!

And I'm so happy you resisted suggestions to trash the story. Needs (at least)one more chapter to wrap up loose ends. For example the birth control pills might have been used just to deal with menstrual cramps and irregularities. And was she postponing the consumation to avoaid pressuring Aaron? And do they live happily ever after? (I hope so!!)

Keep up the good work. BRAVO!!!!

WOW, Excellent

I'm really glad you stayed true to the story

don't let the story end here. thereare a lot of things for them to go through yet.please take this for a long novel . ti is a pleasure to read it the first thing every morning.

Enjoyed it for all 10 chapters.

Outstanding and I want to hear more of this wonderful story.

PLEASE

Another great chapter. I hope this isnt' the end. I love reading about these two characters.

Girls today are more experienced. I was into oral way before vaginal intercourse. I think every aspect of the story was fantastic- thanks for an incredibly hot story!

Very good series but yet it could go on...

I loved reading about Amber and Aaron, and I wish there was more, it would be great to see how their relationship develops now.

She started this story chapter just blosoming

This is a pretty good story. I like the long buildup. My problem is with the dialogue. It's stilted. It's okay if the internal narration is a little choppy, but if you're really going for a teenager, and it seems you are by mentioning "squee," I don't think you're being very realistic.

An example;

"I presume from your lack of intelligent comment that you approve of my attire?"

Do you know any teenager, or anyone in real life, who talks that way? I don't.

Here's a suggestion. Try saying the dialogue out loud. Not just in your head, but out loud. Decide if it sounds realistic. If it does, hey, go for it, what do I know? But, I think you might find that as you get more experience you'll find the dialogue flowing better.

Just my eight hundred cents. But trust me, I know this stuff.

eric

I am enjoying reading this but PLEASE stop with the 8yr old girl references during sex! Even in the negative 'no longer the 8yr old girl' there are so many of them it's creepy!