by TQM
She is written as an idiot. Steve's actions were actionable, readily provable with a little planning, and he would’ve been out of a job and in deep trouble. The premise of the story needs to be credible to enable readers to engage.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the critical part of this two-part story. What was this "Steve" guy planning to do to Amy's husband that was so "very difficult"? The author omits, either by neglect or refusal, the real reason why Amy was so compelled to submit solely based on what we read. Makes no verifiable logic in my mind and, it made the story far less convincing.
One Star at best.
This writer revels in willing cuckold stories. If that turns you on have at it. I’m gone.
You make her into a slut and have her believe every word the asshole says then you turn around and do the same to the husband by making him a wimp to the boss why not rewrite the beginning where he walks into the living room but instead have the wife conseal a voice recorder in her pocket and record the whole speech he makes to her then tell him to goto hell then when he trys to make trouble for your husnad at work have the wife take the recorder to the company c.o and replay the whole speech to them then sue the hell out of him.
Pat M.
and makes no sense. This author is dumber than shit. That a graduate student would fold over a non-explisit threat is nonsense. As soon as she folds her husbands appears. LOL.
I don't like to critize authors but this shithead has wasted my time
Thanks all for resonding.
Some of you have an expectation of detailed sex acts. While I have nothing against this, I'm more interested in how people think than in describing how a penis penetrates a vagina again and again.
A few, it seems, did not make the connection as to why she was repeatedly brushing her teeth and why she was reluctant to kiss her husband. What can I say to this?
One commented that the story did not contain non-consensual sex and was therefore in the wrong category. I suggest this person re-examine the title of the category - its non-consent/reluctance. And clearly the main character was reluctant.
The "minimalist" comment was close to target - my interest was solely on how reality can intrude on philosophy.
To those who disapprove - sorry that I have different than expected pretensions.
TQM
Why does Amy fold like wet cardboard? There are any number of things she could do other than get on her knees - does she plan to continue to give it up? This might have been the start of a REALLY good story - but it was PART of Chapter 1 - no more
Okay, so you established that she was loyal to her husband, but you COMPLETELY skipped over the sex part. This was soft porn at BEST. Come on now, you can do better than this, I bet.
You didn't even get my imagination wet. By how you wrote, they could have ended up knitting a sweater or playing checkers.
Only if it was meant to be taken that way.
The plot was tried and tested one (bad guy and good wife).
Either you decorate it with more details and fill pages or leave it as it is.
You got the female POV about right.
Only if it was meant to be taken that way.
The plot was tried and tested one (bad guy and good wife).
Either you decorate it with more details and fill pages or leave it as it is.
You got the female POV about right.
Only if it was meant to be taken that way.
The plot was tried and tested one (bad guy and good wife).
Either you decorate it with more details and fill pages or leave it as it is.
You got the female POV about right.
Only if it was meant to be taken that way.
The plot was tried and tested one (bad guy and good wife).
Either you decorate it with more details and fill pages or leave it as it is.
You got the female POV about right.
To bad you didn't say what you really wanted to say. As for non concent, you told us nothing to show that.... rethink your next story and give it a little something someone can infer or relate to.
It did nothing for me, it didn't tell you anything and it certainly didn't turn me on.