All Comments on 'An Absence of Trust Pt. 02'

Decent follow up to the original. Dragged in the middle and was repetitive and got very fanciful at the end. Really not sure why Maddie got a gig again, she was expensive garbage.

Great story,

A little repetitive in spots, a little dragged out in spots, and the resolution was a bit over the top with Green Beret army buddies of his brother and Dallas just “Showing Up “

Over all a great story though so pleas keep writing

Grant

Great story. Thank you.

I thought Ch 2 was a good fit. In Ch 1, Maddie was one of the most likeable (lovable? f*ckable?) cheating wives you’ve written about, so I had no problem seeing her returned to the Literotica universe.

<>

In Ch 1 your backdrop was the real estate market, which you seem to know very well. In Ch 2 you focused more on legal arguments, which I’m sure was to get Maddie involved. I feared your story was going into the weeds and headed down the embankment, but I was wrong: you carried it off like a short segment of “Suits”.

<>

Then you had the professional neighborhood watch guys go after the Croatians, and I rolled my eyes again—but they were smart enough to duck that conflict. Then the mysterious watcher turned out to be a Green Beret friend of Dallas, and I’m no longer smart enough to critique you.

<>

All in all, it was as you promised, an entertaining story without much sex, but enough to have its place on Literotica.

<>

The last 2 pages seemed quite rushed, and there were aspects of their recovering relationship they certainly should have discussed in our presence. How much longer could you keep me up past all night, we’ll never know.

Good follow-up. Enjoyed it.

Story wasn't bad, a follow up was needed after part 1. But the Damon brothers are both painted as idiots in both parts.

By coincidence, I had just re-read the first story last night.

I liked the action in this one, very much. I think I liked the "relationship" stuff in the other story more. To me, Maddy didn't really earn the forgiveness.

Very enjoyable read.

The idea she would get mad at him for questioning her is absurd. She cheated. She will never be trusted again.

I liked until he signed Leslie over to the gang.

She saved him and he repaid her with a fate worse than death. Not cool considering he was dating his ex wife that cheated on him.

Well. That was pretty dark and adventurous.

I wish there had been a bit more interplay between Maddie and Billy concerning the painful details of her affair but this was pretty damn good.

Story only progressed very third paragraph, way too much repetitive pondering and considering things

Poor richie

This desperately needs to be about half as long as it is, and to drop the pointless gun fondling interludes.

Too wordy and dragged out. The usual advice to writers is that if you can say the same thing in fewer words, then that improves the story. This would apply to non fiction as well. Think about that and try it as an exercise. You have. a good story line, and if you could get that done in fewer words, you would be a great author. Good luck, in your future endeavours.

Great wrap up G25! Loved the story! Just to remember the events leading up, i had to skim the 1st story again. Thank you much! Nice read. You made the RAAC believable and it worked. 5*

You turn a perfect story in a RAAC story, why ?

All she does what helping him with brother situation, apart from this she did nothing to make amend

Loved this story, like the first. The only loose end is what happened to the cashier's check? Wouldn't an investigation show the blackmail transfer and Check and lead right back to the couple? Not to mention the photos found on dickhead's computers.

1. The contract business was inane. If a multibillion dollar transaction had been involved, then going through hundreds of pages of documents would take a major law firm and time. But going through a document (and any related documents) for something so small is neither hard nor complicated. The contract may have adverse provisions, but figuring them out would not be the difficult, arduous task written into the story. The longer the handwriting over the contract went on the more distractingly ridiculous the story became.

2. The Bambi-as-a-whore bit was pretty formulaic, and the crawling back to his ex slut wife seemed motivated by ...well I'm not sure what...but as written Billy seemed to be nothing more than a weak needy cunt. The "Marcel is 'gay'" trope is a very tired LW plot device. In any event, the slut wife got a miraculous personality transplant. No longer a narcissistic bitch, she suddenly acquires all the characteristics of the perfect wife. Frankly, Bambi betrayed Billy less than the wildly self involved Maddie did.

3. The injection of the Green Berets into the story and the shoot out was absurd. The reader is supposed to believe that you can have a gun battle resulting in lots of dead bodies and blood in an urban area like Seattle, and there won't be police at the scene within a few minutes? Just stupid. And trafficking Leslie without really knowing what her involvement was with the gang? For all football boy knew, she just had an affair and then was blackmailed and physically threatened by the gang to do their bidding.

4. The happy-ever-after with the narcissistic Maddie, was virtually a cut and paste from 100s of other stories (it's always 2 children isn't it? I'm surprised there was no mention of a "college fund"). Tiffee being given a cameo at the end was pointless, except for checking the LW box on the requirement that the virtuous husband ultimately must get revenge on the "bastard".

The story started well, but got worse and worse and worse and...

No way am I reading 20 pages of this crap.

Nice story, but would have liked to have seen a reprieve for Leslie

Little harder to get into this chapter. First chapter was great but in this one even the smarter people turned into complete morons. Thanks for wrapping it up.

I have never been so disappointed with a sequel story as with this one. Did he seriously follow his idiotic dick back into marriage with lying cheating piece of shit AGAIN? And now he's jailed to her by a child (50 bucks says it's not genetically his, but he's too dumb to check), and she's AGAIN lying to him.

/

Then there's all the whiney handwringing through the whole story, instead of "take your idiot borther, put him under house arrest so he won't get anyone worthwhile killed, and hire some muscle of your own RIGHT AWAY instead of spending weeks with a useless lawyer who didn't in the end do LITERALLY anything helpful.

/

I'm barely constraining myself from going and downvoting original wonderful BTB from 5 stars to 3, thanks to the BTB being COMPLETELY negated and destroyed by this disgusting RAAC. May still do that, but for now 2 stars, mostly because at least leslie bitch and her bf got their karma, at the very least, as did the slut wife's boytoy.

Like with the first installment, all the makings of a great read were there….but tne execution was just….ordinary. Let’s tally it up:

.

**Brother beyond stupid needing help

** Ex girlfriend Leslie marries stupid brother and gets involved with gangster.

** Ex wife, who was a slut, returns and somehow has magically “grown up” … and MC of course, still wants her

** Stupid brother has even dumber buddy, who just happens to have tough guy Marine pals

** And to top it off…slimy bastard that Slut had cheated with returns, blackmails slut, who pays him, but then MC contacts brother’s tough guys, who then arrange ambush to let MC assassinate him. How convenient!

.

Like the first installment, I just couldn’t get to like the MC. ThevRAAC with his ex never made sense. The brother remained an idiot. So…like with the first chapter…

.

3 ***. Average at best.

Great follow up. Tiffee needed to whole lot more pain before he died and he needed to know who was responsible for his pain and death.

Good story. Didn't much like the way it ended but I'm not the author.

This second part was really very strange.

On the one hand, there's a disproportion between the two Damon brothers, where one has everything (size, strength, motivation, intelligence, .....) and the other has nothing (borderline complete moron).

On the other hand, the legal conspiracy seemed more than a little far-fetched. Taking control of a company through shares seems feasible, but transferring ownership of real estate was more than dubious.

Real estate is normally managed and controlled by the state in registers, so that owners can be identified and taxation tracked.

So but you began to get speed wobbles the longer the story went on. Billie seems to be an absolute moron, based on his actions. Walking into the lions den and trying to throw his weight around. Idiot. Still, his brother was an imbecile so it's in the family. Then all the convoluted details regarding the brother's business and how it was taken over. A 90 day abandonment clause? LOL. The shares would still be owned by the hood and the wife. The brother can't just sell the business. You kept conflating the business, the business assets (Trucks etc) and the Building. Plus, originally, when Billy purchased the business for $4m, why would he give his bro's wife 50%? There are many ownership structures he could have used that only included his Brother.

Anyway, you do write well, so thankyou for the story. Oh, involving SF units... not good. That's not how they operate. So the story fantasy got lost at that stage.

When does Billy stop seeing Brandon fucking Maddie in his mind, knowing she repeatedly made the decision to make that happen? Never. So with that level of betrayal, I don't see reconciliation as a possibility.

It would be great to get a short epilogue of the year or so after the Mettke liberation as told by Leslie.

"The eight of us were all single, but a couple of the guys were in committed relationships and not looking for any female companions. For the other five of us, it was on."

Is this the new math they teach or is a couple just assumed to include three people these days? ;-)

Great follow up to a terrific first part. The end seemed a little rushed, but that is ok. The one area you teased but didn't address was Maddie's feelings towards the MC and her dad's suicide. There was room to explore that as well as the aftermath of the suicide on her family and her.

Great read. Very talented writer.

Please keep writing!

I thought he was an idiot for getting back with her, but you were doing a good job of making it believable. I have no problem with a good reconciliation story. I do have a problem with a bad reconciliation story. Unfortunately, when you had her make him out as the bad guy for not liking her kissing another man and had him agree with her that he was at fault, your attempt jumped the shark.

Then, you have one of the dumbest blackmail schemes in history. She pays off a guy to keep quiet about an affair that she had years ago which was widely reported on as it changed the outcome of a local election in which she had been the leading candidate. Really? Sorry, but the kid is already going to get tormented about it at school some day, so it's just stupid.

I also agree that what he did to his sister-in-law seems pretty hypocritical after he got back together with his cheating ex-wife...

I liked the story and the writing. It was very good. I do not think this should have been a RAAC. Look forward to your next effort.

Great story.

After so many years RAAC was ok. Well written story. Good characters. So much better than the brainless cuck stories that are in LW everyday. Thanks

I liked the first part better than the second, but this was as believable as most of what passes through here. The main character does several foolish things in part 2 that have been described by others and was in deep trouble without the Green Berets’ help. I am not sure how you sell a business where 52.5% of the ownership doesn’t sign a contract. Leslie being given to the thugs was a weak point for that reason alone. For a self made businessman, Billy didn’t make sure to protect himself by writing into his deal with his brother and his wife a clause that no stock could be gifted or sold without him having right of first refusal. 4.5 stars

Liked it except all the MCs are F_ing morons

Part 01 remains one of my favorites on this site. Part 03 is very solid as well. I will say I was way more invested in Billy and Maddie's relationship than in Richie's troubles. And the super soldier deus ex machina is never my favorite. But still, an easy 5 star for me

Almost forgot to mention, one minor quibble...no way in 2023 would any PAC 12 football fan be talking about which team is likely to win this yet. They'd be discussing the pending implosion of the league!

I wanted to like it. Unfortunately the MC must have had a head injury between Oart1 and Part 2 as he is clearly deficient on the intelligence front. And a whiner.

His original lawyer wasn’t all that good either as demonstrated by not keeping tge property owner as the majority shares owner.

It like reading a story with different characters but the same names. The other isdye is bith stories should have had half the word count. Much of the verbiage is froth that does next to nothing toward advancing tge storyline or character development. IMO - YMMV

Graet continuation of the original story. Thanks for the tale.

That was a lot of pages to resolve exactly nothing.

Most of their issues in the first chapter were a result of not communicating about important issues. I hoped the author would take the opportunity of this chapter to address them. But, to my eye that didn't happen.

When they had their serious talk Maddie put her affair down to her father's influence, alcohol and excitement about the election and the fact that Tiffee was her type. She never really took responsibility for her actions. Then 12 years down the road when Tiffee contacts her to blackmail her the first thing she does is keep it a secret from Billy and sends him the money.

For a woman who made a big deal about trust and integrity when her and Billy first started dating she still has no idea how to behave in a trustworthy manner.

For her to get upset when Billy saw her being physically close to a man dressed in the manner she says is her type... Again, she's still not taking responsibility for her actions.

But, then again Billy still isn't trying to communicate. He seems like he's perpetually stuck in highschool when it comes to relationships.

Disappointed in this chapter.

It’s always hard to write a sequel that equals the original, but you managed to do it. At your story’s darkest hour you had the to pull the “calvary” plot line out, but what’s not to love about that? Few places I would have liked more depth, but really good work. 4.8*

Sequels are always risky biscuits so congratulations on a quality followup. One thing didn't sit quite right which is Leslie's excommunication. Leslie's relationship with Damon was never fleshed out so the reader doesn't really know where her mind was. Was she coerced, blackmailed, or just hit with the slut-ray? Since this wasn't addressed it's OK that she just got pushed onto the gang but there was an opportunity for much more. It may have overly complicated the plot line but a RAAC with Rich could have been interesting.

Thanks for posting, looking forward to your next story.

Don’t care what anyone else says both parts were amazing - great writing!

I like a good redemption arc, also good followup. 5*

Honestly, outside of a reconnection between Maddie and MC, I’m not seeing any additional benefit to this second part. The portion involving drugs sent this story off the rails.

The frenetic pace of the story was a bit off putting as it made the narrative very choppy. Perhaps this was purposeful, but if so, it wasn’t to my taste. I thought it was an unnecessary addition to a very good prior entry. You’re a good writer and I will continue to read, just maybe not this one.

Good ending to your story!

5

An unrealistic MC acting and thinking in a childish way, in regard of his marriage. This tale seems more like a female fairytale POV with the inevitable final RAAC.

A good effort, but underwhelming. Its fine that the cuck took the whore back, why not? He's got plenty of money, is handsome, intelligent, but can't find a date? Can't locate one virtuous sound ethical woman to be his mate? So, yeah, sure, why not go back to the devil he knows? He's a loser, so why not go back to the scene of his last loss. And the Bambi side story just confirms that the MC is deaf dumb and blind when it comes to women.

\

And black mailers. Of course Tiffee would have arranged for all the photos and evidence be sent out if anything happens to him, and he would have warned the stupid whore. Oh, that's right, Tiffee is stupid. Well, apparently he's pretty adept at running political campaigns, and embezzling money, for months, without getting caught. And he waits over 5 years to start his blackmail campaign? Not very likely.

\

Sometimes less is more. I'm not sure what was added to the original story that made anything about that story better. Let me think about it.

Not quite as good as chapter one but, still a good read and well written.

You changed Billy alot in the 2nd part. Why? It doesn't make sense. In the first chapter he's smart, yet in this he isn't at all. Did you forget your own writing of him? He tells his brother 3 times to be strong knowing he isn't. Yet in the first part he's decisive and in this he's a complete moron. Can't give more than a 2** rating as you've written the same character very differently than you did originally. Maybe read the first part BEFORE you do a second chapter in the future.

TOP story keep up the great writing (jaybee186)

"He's Gay' doesn't answer the type of kiss.

"Call your little friend..." Condesending and disrespectful and given the way she behaved in the past a complete deal breaker. Not a red Flag, A Red curtain surrounding her. She has no business being pissy with him over what he saw yet she is. She should have been thrown to the curve with the rest of the trash... Again!

Overall, it was a little long, maybe two pages to much, the whole getting with Maddie after could have been dropped completely but it is a solid story on a scale of 1-10 I would give it a 6-7. Not much else to say

I liked the story. Just a couple things to mention. Billy would have had bruising from getting shot which would have alarmed Mattie when he stripped. Also, why no mention of how Sanchez's nephew recovered?

First time out for Gumbo doing a sequel. In fact, there have been a good number of G25 stories that I’d like to take a crack at sequel-ing but “An Absence of Trust” wasn’t one of them. So naturally, it’s the one he picked. Shouldn’t have been that big a surprise, since near the end of the original, the MMC says “…this story ends without me finding a new love, but I guess that will be the next chapter.” Anyway, since that original posted in December 2022, before I made the (still unfulfilled) pledge to register with the site in 2023 as the QuickMagazine that I am, I’ll post this as “Anonymous,” as I had with the first one, since more than 7 months into the year, I still haven’t gone onsite. Soon, I hope. Meanwhile, when I went to re-print what is now part 1, I inadvertently saw a recent comment advising readers to avoid pt. 02 as it is a RAAC. Quite a spoiler alert, sorry I saw it. So now, instead of wondering what’s coming next, my reading had to be more a process of monitoring and rendering judgment on how well the RAAC went. Knowing that it’s Gumbo, expectations were, as they should be, fairly high that somehow he would make Billy getting back together with that shit Madeline both logical and justified. So since that’s the deal (and I would have preferred Chrissy), thought I’d emulate sbrooks103x and type comments as I go through these 9 pages. Though without the “//”s. Since the intro refers to “subplots,” an innocent reader might think that some of those in “An Absence of Trust” would be further developed here. Too bad I saw that comment. That said, I found myself just wanting to read without weighing in as it went. Probably it was the quick pivot to Bambi on page 1 which decided that for me. So no running commentary, after all. Gumbo25 stories are best absorbed and savored at their own pace. Obviously, I am quite fond of his work, and 5’s are more or less de rigueur. Certainly “Absence” 1 was a fiver. OK. Page 4, and I’ve got to say something. Why the fuck did Billy and Landon write the Mettke contract with Richie and Leslie each owning 50%? Richie is his brother, Leslie’s just the sister-in-law. They should have written it with Richie as sole, 100%, owner. OK, back to the story, page 5 awaits…and now, OK, done with all 9. I don’t think this second part was particularly masterful, but it was adequate. What it all came down to was that Billy really still loved Madeline. Despite her treachery. And that overwhelmed everything else, especially when the need for Madeline as a lawyer opened the door to them interacting again. This would have slotted in nicely with the “When A Man Loves A Woman” theme event from a while back. Of course, Chrissy not being available and Bambi not working out also opened that door. Maybe a bit more sturm und drang would have made this more convincing for me. A slower path to trust and/or a solid pre-nup might have done the trick. Also, Maddie expressing some anger at her father’s death as something to get over on her end, too. I’ve decided to ignore all the comments already posted, though while printing out the last page, did see one questioning the Leslie and Richie resolution, wanting some sort of RAAC. I disagree, that would have been too cute. Better that he divorce her for abandonment and never hear from her again. Yes, it’s inconsistent that Maddie’s treachery is ultimately forgiven, while Leslie never gets that chance. Tough shit. Would have been nice, though, for Richie to find somebody. Maybe a naif like him. Anyway, gave this a 5 just to be consistent with the first one. Though on its own, it’s more a 4.

5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS!

Well done. It’s fair to say the main character is a bit inconsistent a few times (disposing the sister-in-law that way right after she saves his life is a LOT colder than he’s portrayed in the rest of the story)… but oddly the jarring part for me was the “tacticool” trivia. A guy who went hunting a bit isn’t going to spout gun brand names and fraction-of-a-pound gun weights about guns he sees, and if some guys put him in body armor and then he gets shot, his description of the moment probably isn’t going to include the brand name and model name of the armor.

When someone tells you about getting shot, even if they didn’t get seriously hurt, you’ll notice they never mention the brand name of what they were wearing. That’s a “guy obsessed with gun catalogs” thing, not a “guy who’s getting shot at” thing.

Good overall,.but then you brought in the green berets, lost a star for that. Too much of a trope

Thanks for writing

Really well done. Thank you for putting in the time and effort. Next, maybe Chrissy comes back after issues with her husband , who wasn’t such a nice guy after all, and her and Richie hit it off.

Awesome read.

Thanks for writing a great story. So much of the stuff written in this genre is ridiculous cuck shit.

your a good author-keep em company.

Did anybody on the Guadalajara mission ‘neutralize’ Sweetie’s instructional pix?

Everybody (at least all us good-guys) need a Miguel Sanchez on speed-dial!

Biggest Grinch? … Hubby’s rationale for considering reunion (using her legal expertise is OK)

was weak as the third tea from one tea-bag. There was a very brief statement

Sweetie made that helped.

4*

No matter how you disguise it, you still wrote a cuck story.

Nice job . Very well done .

You've told a good story , making it clear and easy to follow . A pleasure to read .

Have to say my favourite bit was telling the Hartoonian gang to take Leslie with them. Delicious revenge .

And even Tiffee managed to get his just deserts .

Not a classic , but very , very good . Thanks for posting . 4 *

It would have been interesting to find out what the Eastern Eurotrash did with Leslie.

I was wondering where a second chapter to this story would go. Too often, a second chapter features the MC and no one else. You avoided that and brought Maddie back, the only reason to do a follow-up. For that reason alone, 5 across the bow.

Loved it

Gumbo25 congratulations on 1k+ followers! Well deserved.

Given how their first 24 hours of knowing each other evolved, the MC's angst over Bambi's infidelity came across as fairly pathetic. That an automatic weapons firefight with multiple fatalities went unnoticed by police in a congested area of metro Seattle was implausible. Tiffee's murder, however, was an absolutely ridiculous element in this pervasively credulity challenged sequel. Maddie's sexual involvement with the manwhore was front page news at the time. The entire Pacific Northwest was aware she is a cheating, lying slut. There was no logical lynchpin for blackmail. Who would be surprised to see her putting her oral skills on display? No self respecting military sniper would kill a man in order to protect the already tainted reputation of an adultress who was also exposed as a hypocritical politician. An apology is owed to these fine patriots for this unwarranted assault on their ethics and morality.

So disappointing he turned cuck in the end

.

Also as the MC owned the building an the truck and gave the cops permission they could have searched any time they wanted

/

/

/

I made myself a promise not to dwell on the negative past. It had no value. I was going to think only of the future and at this moment I could not imagine a future without Maddie.

.

.

.

I made myself a promise not to dwell on the negative past. I had no value. I was going to think only of the future and at this moment I could not imagine a future without Maddie, and being her cuck, and licking her lovers cum out of her snatch

.

Fixed it for you

I enjoyed the story and writing. Taking Maddie back, not so much.

I enjoyed he writing and most of the story. You are one of the very few writers that was able to work in special forces in a way that was realistic for evicting the gang and getting revenge for Richie and Dallas.

Bill and Maddie reconciliation was just too much. She was completely driven all of her life to do what her father wanted. Even when discussing all of her failures that destroyed their marriage, Maddie continued to admit she was attracted to pretty boys in suits more than than she was attracted to Billy’s appearance. When asked about her day at work, Maddie’s initial response was to lie and then make Billy work to find the proof she was telling the truth. Instead of confirming her lunch date and kiss was with gay man, Billy should have told her to get dressed as she had just proven she is still not trustworthy and a future was not possible.

The blackmail by Tiffee and special forces taking him out doesn’t fit the rest of the story. Clearly an add on for the BTB crowd.

As others have noted, there are a lot of problems with this story but what struck me is that I never thought the way to a woman's heart was by driving her father to suicide, but here we are.

What was the blackmail? Maddie was no longer running for office and had already been exposed as unfaithful. Why would she pay anything?

I don’t usually enjoy raac work, but this felt appropriate.Nice.

I had previously never written a ‘follow up’ but I wanted to try it. I’d never written a military/special forces type (superhero) integration either. As someone that writes ( I don’t think I can think of myself as a writer ) I wanted to try new things.

If you’ve read any of my stories none of them feature a reconciliation, obviously I tried that too. Part of the experience for me is to write something I enjoy, and see if others do to.

I accept the constructive criticism and I am always amazed at some of the emotion that the comment - ers spew forth.

I truly appreciate the encouraging words and constructive comments by Hemmingsway and others.

It takes me a long time to write these stories and I hope those that happen to read them enjoy them.

Excellent story, well crafted. I love these characters.

In my 50+ years of being a Marine, (it is ALWAYS capitalized) I NEVER met one who wanted to be a Green Beret. Your story was pretty good until you brought in Eastern European bad guys and a Marine who really wanted to be a Green Beret. The Marines have Force Recon, the Army has Rangers and Green Beret, the three aren't known to be drinking buddies. If you want to write military stuff, please research it.

Overall good story. A couple notes:

- please cut the business by 50% at least. You can just write "I bought a property", save dozens of paragraphs, and the effect is the same (less boring actually)

- too harsh on Leslie. She didn't deserve a (presumably short) life as a sex slave for what she did. She didn't kill Dallas. Lewon ordered the beatings and got scott free and a sex slave to boot. How's that fair?

- 15 years on and Maddie keeps breaking his trust

Pretty shit story, why would a US Marine want to be a Green Beret when he could be a force recon scout sniper? They are not even the same branch for Christ’s sake, if u include the military get it right. Too long, too silly, the MC seems to be a class A moron and very slow to catch on to things

You should write more follow ups, this was pretty darn good to an already good story. Good reconciliation with the ex (I like reconciliation stories but loath RAAC stories), an interesting cast of characters, some downright evil villains and a good ending. Not perfect I felt, a bit to much business stuff at times. Not sure how to feel about Leslie especially with her saving the MC's life, she deserved a bad end until that and I kinda wonder how much pressure the guy she was sleeping with had on her. The ex turned current wife definitely needed to have more trust in her husband. Overall gave it 5 stars as despite some complaints I enjoyed it greatly.

Great story 5***** but I thought the treatment of Leslie was a bit harsh as she had just saved his life she would now be a sex slave worker until she died.

Killing Tiffie is good justified fun of course but so is beating him, ripping off his balls and then dumping him in the US to be arrested and then used in prison by some lifer. Haa haa haa

No problem with the reconciliation. This sequel just didn’t he, everybody was annoying

great ending

Pt 1 was an above average yarn. Pt 2 barely makes average for me. This version, Billy Damon The Lesser, is an indecisive, navel-gazing pussy. Complaints: If brother and Leslie were divorced then she might have held 50%, but no other reason that makes any sense. Way too deep into arcane business activities. Like real estate, do you? The military. Man you really stepped into it with that little sci-fi action. A Marine desiring to be Army Special Forces? No, nope, not gonna happen. A Marine with friends in Force Recon? Possibly, but for a small unit to engage and destroy another small unit on US soil, I'd go with Marine Raiders. You went out of your way to show how little experience Billy had with firearms yet have him spout off details about weapons, body armor, etc like one of those YouTube characters that use "tactical" in every other sentence. The blackmail was weak. Her infidelity was published in the newspaper so she spent $20k to keep her daughter from maybe getting a photo of her blowing a guy? In Pt 1 Tiffee was a brilliant campaign strategist. In Pt 2 he's this stupid? It doesn't compute. So, Billy's Green Beret acquaintance goes into a foreign country and commits a murder because of an attempted blackmail? The reconciliation? Standard LW trope trying to show some difficulty in going forward. Nothing particularly interesting there. 3* from me. Too many holes and silly shit.

Brilliant story. Well written as all of your stories are. Thanks and keep writing.

@buzzczar sounds like a wannabe trying to impress us with inside knowledge he doesn’t have, while his nit pics of Green betet v Marine raiders are only of consequence to the wannabee set like him; the differences fon’t matter to those of us who did the real thing. What the author poses here is plausible, so @buzz why don’t you join up and try to do the real thing rather than troll websites trying to impress us with yer bystander assessments of American spec ops teams relative competencies. See if you can leave those to the real pros, rather than you wannabes.

Had a hard time with the follow up story. It just was all over the board.

They never did seem to address the trust issue. She had no right to get angry at him for questioning her kissing another man after her sordid affair.

Brilliant story, brilliantly written.

I wanted to give this story a 5 but only gave it a 3, reason being..You never addressed the trust issue and Maddie really never showed remorse for hurting Bill, she never acknowledged destroying his trust in her. Who stupid to think he could ever truly trust her again without addressing these issues.

As others have pointed out, the trust issues weren't addressed and his/her reaction to Maddie being 'caught' at lunch seemed wrong given the history. The issue I have is from part 1, discussing the intimacy, concern and looks Maddie and Brandon were observed exchanging. The physical is one thing, the attitude, contempt and treatment another but adding the emotional connection on top makes it difficult if not impossible to believe Maddie's explanation or Billy's acceptance. I didn't feel her remorse and it seemed more like guilt of being caught and concern for herself. I don't think she would have stopped as she implied and even feel she would have left Billy if it didn't implode like it did. This just makes the reconciliation that much harder to accept and makes Billy look worse in the long run.

Entertaining as hell! Terrific writing and creativity. Just the one miss though...your title

is 'Absence of Trust', but the reconciliation did not address the trust issue enough. Sure

they talked about what happened and how they both still loved each other, but 'Trust'

was never resolved including where she sent the 20k to Brandon without any discussion.

enjoyed it! 5 stars

A great sequel to a great original story. Just loved it.

Scores 5/5

Great writing, but these two have unresolved issues. You are a hell of a storyteller.

There's no reason for a reconciliation on these facts. She fell out of love with him, into love with another man, cheated and can't be trusted. Nothing has happened to change that. It would have been far better to leave the original story to stand on it's own.

A good one, I liked it.

Cheers,

Captcha

This is incompatible with the first chapter. The reconciliation seemed trite and forced so a sequence of events could unfold.

part 1 was good. part 2 sucked.