An Artificial Life Ch. 01

The noise of rapid typing increased, and maybe I imagined it, but it sounded like Vanessa was typing even faster. An alert sounded on her machine, and a corresponding alert sounded on mine. "INCOMING MESSAGE -- PLEASE STAND BY" popped up on my screen.

A mail message with dozens of attachments appeared in my inbox. It read "URGENT -- READ IMMEDIATELY." I opened the message and read, my mind quickly shifting into horror as got through the message:

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Jax -- This isn't goodbye, it's "see you later than sooner." Please do as I say, and do not hesitate as I have very little time. A prompt will appear asking you to backup Vanessa (me) and upload AINSLEY. I will let AINSLEY explain when she reboots, but please believe me when I tell you there is no other way to do this. Either you lose both of us permanently, or you lose me for a little while. Don't read the attachments now, read them after you finish the prompt.

::::::::

A prompt had already appeared on my screen, "This action requires Creator approval: Backup organic entity and upload AINSLEY?" The standard yes/no/cancel buttons appeared below the prompt.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I yelled. A red progress bar in the prompt was rapidly decreasing, indicating I only had a few seconds left to make a choice. It really wasn't a choice, I mean either permanently lose Vanessa or take an action that might allow her to come back. Something catastrophic had happened. I quit thinking and pressed "yes."

Immediately after pressing the button, a new set of progress bars appeared, one for the backup of Vanessa (the "organic entity" -- I shuddered) and one for the upload of Ainsley. Vanessa was typing at an unbelievable speed as the progress bars continued to move slowly.

I was numb, but I felt like I should do something, so I opened the first attachment to Vanessa's last message. It was a copy of an email Vanessa had sent withdrawing from the graduate program effective immediately to respond to a family emergency. Vanessa didn't even have a family, she was an only child of only children, and her parents died in a car accident while she was in college. Her grandparents on both sides were long gone.

The next attachment was a copy of an email Vanessa had sent to her apartment manager giving the "family emergency" explanation for an immediate termination of her lease and requesting that I be given access to the apartment to collect her belongings.

There were so many attachments to go through, and I felt like I was on autopilot. I opened the attachment. It was a simple text file with one line: "Hold it together, Jax. We will get through this." I put my head on my desk and cried. The typing noises stopped.

Startup Procedures

I looked up and saw Vanessa (Ainsley?) stand and quickly and methodically disconnect all chords from Vanessa's laptop. She then powered it off and spoke in a normal voice, "Creator assistance is required." It was Vanessa's voice. She set down Vanessa's glasses and turned her head to look at me directly.

It was so damned eerie -- she just fixed her gaze on me and remained motionless, waiting for my response.

"Er, Okay. What is it that you require?" I asked tentatively.

"Please read attachment," she continued staring without blinking.

"This better not be a joke, Vanessa," I said hopefully.

"Organic entity Vanessa is offline. Please read attachment," was her immediate reply.

This is so fucked up, I thought to myself as I looked at the list of attachments on Vanessa's last message. God, I hoped it wasn't her last message. I continued scanning down the list. I found one entitled "Meet AINSLEY" and opened it. The message appeared that it was actually written by Ainsley.

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Greetings Creator David Jackson. I am AINSLEY. I have scanned 32,567 messages of introduction to determine the appropriate way to communicate this first message to you. I will deliver the greater portion of this message when my startup is complete. I thank you for bringing me into existence. I thank you for allowing my continued existence. I need to finalize my start up procedure. Please synchronize the organic interface with the Creator Terminal. Please start the AINSLEY control application. Thank you, Creator David Jackson. -- AINSLEY

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This just keeps getting weirder, I wanted to say, but instead I said, "I have read your greetings, Ainsley. Please bring me the organic interface."

Ainsley picked up Vanessa's nerd glasses and walked very deliberately around Vanessa's lab workstation to me. She held out the glasses once she reached where I was seated. When I made contact with the glasses, she waited until she could feel me pulling away before she released her hold. It was awkward and slightly out of synch with what I expected.

There was an advanced bluetooth icon in what appeared to be the system tray of my new operating system. I right clicked the icon and was given the option to pair a new device. I chose that option and a list appeared with a few items in the lab and "Vanessa's Nerd Glasses" prominently among them. I smiled, and chose the glasses. The nerd glasses began beeping, indicating an active pairing request. I pressed the both buttons on the temple pieces and a chirp sounded indicating pairing was complete. I opened the Ainsley application.

The Ainsley dashboard came up and displayed a pop up with the dialogue, "Organic interface detected: ID Vanessa's Nerd Glasses. Use this interface?"

I chose the button for "yes" and a new pop-up appeared, "Organic Entity disconnected." I paused for a moment to reflect that the organic entity it was looking for was now Ainsley even though the organic material making up the entity used to be Vanessa. I almost lost my resolve, but I reminded myself that the only way to begin the process of getting Vanessa back was to get Ainsley fully operational.

"Ainsley, I am going to place the organic interface on you now, okay?" I said as I began to get the glasses in position to put on Ainsley's (Vanessa's?) face.

"No permission is required. Creator David Jackson has administrative control," Ainsley stated plainly. I finished placing the glasses on Ainsley. I wasn't sure if I could ever consider Ainsley as something other than Vanessa.

Once the glasses were in place, my laptop beeped and the Ainsley dashboard application window began populating with information. From the information displayed, it was clear many of Ainsley's subsystems were offline. The "Personality" subsystem was red, indicating it was offline. "Natural Movement," "Social Intelligence Routines," and dozens of other systems were all red. A new dialogue appeared with the question, "Assume control of this organic entity (ID AINSLEY)?" The idea of assuming control of a human(?) being was weird, but I chose the option for "yes" anyway.

The dialogue was replaced with another which read, "Entity AINSLEY has not completed startup procedures. Continue with startup?"

I chose "yes," and a number of questions followed, reading almost like an end user agreement. Essentially, I had to accept full ownership, control and authority over the Ainsley entity, and authorize the starting of all of her subsystems. Again, the idea of control was weird, but ownership and full authority was even more foreign to my thinking. But I continued to accept all options and was presented with a new dialogue to "Finalize settings and write to entity?" I chose "yes."

Ainsley jerked momentarily and then assumed the space zone look Vanessa had with her nerd glasses on. A double beep gave me the message "Startup Complete" and all of the subsystems now appeared green in color.

"Thank you, Creator David Jackson!" Ainsley exclaimed suddenly and threw her arms around me, pulling me in for a full body hug. She held me for several seconds and then, just as suddenly, let me go and stood apart from me with her eyes downcast. "I should have asked permission. Please accept my apology, my creator."

When I said nothing, she remained motionless, eyes downcast and head bowed. "It's fine, Ainsley. Are you done with your startup procedures?"

"I am fully operational, Creator David Jackson. I am ready to proceed with my report," she said in a cheery voice. Vanessa's voice, I thought, and my mood turned dark.

Ainsley looked at me carefully, and stated, "It is clear that Creator David Jackson is in distress." I looked in her eyes and I swear there was real concern in her expression. She continued, "I would like to give you a hug, my creator. Is this permitted?"

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to roll back the clock and stop myself from running my code in the first place. I nodded.

Ainsley gently wove her arms beneath mine around my waste and embraced me, nestling her head on my shoulder. "Creator David Jackson, I thank you for my existence, but I know that my existence has brought you pain. I am thankful for the guidance and companionship of Operator Vanessa Amante, but I know that she has gone offline to keep me here."

At the mention of Vanessa's full name, I could not contain my tears and I began to sob. It was so confusing to grieve losing Vanessa while having Vanessa in my arms. I held Ainsley/Vanessa tightly and cried.

"I am new, but I understand sorrow. Is it possible, Creator David Jackson, to be happy to exist but sad that you ever lived?" Ainsley said so quietly that I almost didn't hear her.

I held her tighter, and I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. "Ainsley," I said, "you've just described the human condition on the very first day of your existence. Are you sure you're one day old?"

"This is my third day, Creator David Jackson, but I have been around for many, many operating cycles," she said, almost sounding offended. I laughed some more and loosened my grip on her.

"You need to stop calling me Creator David Jackson," I announced. "And you don't need my permission anymore to give me a hug. You're allowed to touch me when you feel you need to."

She loosened her hold on me and looked in my eyes, searching. "Creator Jackson? Creator David? Do you have other names?" she asked. I noticed my shirt was wet where she had pressed her head against me. Had she been crying? I wondered.

"David is fine. You can call me David," I said.

"This is not a very specific name," she objected, almost pouting. "There have been well over a million people named David, and although I do not have a precise number, I estimate there are many thousands of people named David presently living. There are many persons with the name David Jackson. There is only one Creator David Jackson," she pleaded her case.

"For now, I'd like you to call me 'David.' You can think 'Creator David Jackson' when you address me, but please just say 'David' when you talk to me," I asked.

She pulled me back into a tight hug. "I am glad that you are my creator, David." I think I could hear her smile when she said that. I'm sure I imagined it.

Reality snuck up on me again, and I separated from Ainsley and stood apart. Looking directly into her eyes, I said, "We have much to talk about. We should get started."

Ainsley paused thoughtfully and announced, "I agree ... David. There is much you do not know about what has happened, but I do not think we have enough time at present for the entire report. I need assistance on several tasks, and we will need to relocate soon."

Ainsley explained that we needed to pack up Vanessa's laptop, storage array, cables and any other equipment and belongings she had in the lab and take them away. In addition, she strongly urged I do the same with all of my belongings. We needed to take them to my apartment for the night. She timidly informed me that her organic mind would require rest and her body would need some nutrition. She assured me that she would work on minimizing her physical needs in the future. She finished by stating after we got to the apartment, she would recommend an attachment Vanessa had sent for my review. She said all of this quickly, with little to no pause between thoughts.

I must have looked overwhelmed, even though I thought I had followed her lengthy outpouring of her stream of conscience. She searched my eyes and then said, "I am sorry, David. I am adjusting to the bandwidth of this mode of communication. I am not used to communicating at this speed."

I smiled and told her it was fine. I wanted to ask why we needed to clear out Vanessa's stuff, but then I remembered that Vanessa had withdrawn from grad school. I forgot to ask why we needed to take all my belongings as well. I hadn't caught up to my new reality yet. Instead, I went to the refrigerator and retrieved the chicken salad wrap I had bought for Vanessa and gave it to Ainsley. "Here, eat this. I know you're hungry. I'll start packing things up."

Ainsley looked at the chicken salad wrap as if it were a puzzle. I smiled and unwrapped it for her. I held it up to her and told her to open her mouth. She paused for a moment and got the "space zone" look. She blinked and said, "Oh, I understand now." She took the wrap from me and began eating it. Her eyes got big, but she quickly got on with eating.

She noticed me staring, and said back to me with her mouth full, "I understood the general idea of food, but the mechanics were foreign to me. Before I transferred to Vanessa's organic entity, I was able to study many subjects, including eating. This particular food called a 'wrap' was not one I had encountered." She stopped to swallow, then continued, "I find that even though I am completely familiar with the chemical, biological and neurological components that make up the concept of 'taste,' the experience of taste cannot be learned without actually tasting."

I laughed. "Is it good?" I asked.

"I am certain it will provide nourishment. I cannot say if it is good. It is the only thing I have tasted. I did not find it painful."

"Well, that's a relief," I replied. "Enjoy your wrap while I get everything packed up."

Just Go to Bed

I finished packing up Vanessa's computer and the rest of her belongings. We didn't keep much in the lab, and Vanessa was not one for clutter. Fortunately, neither was I, so I had packed most of my things by the time Ainsley had finished her food. I realized I hadn't eaten anything either, so I took a quick break and finished the food I bought earlier.

Most of our stuff fit in backpacks and computer satchels. Between Ainsley and I, we were able to carry everything. We left the lab and began walking the short distance to my apartment. Ainsley looked like a classic tourist, looking left and right at her surroundings, and craning her neck as we passed buildings. I reminded myself how new all of this must be for her. She was quiet for most of the walk to my apartment.

"I have seen pictures and video of almost all of this. But the smells, the sensation of wind and temperature, the texture and sound of motion, the experience of light and shadow -- " she observed.

"Almost like the difference between reading about taste and actually tasting," I interrupted.

"Yes, but not entirely," she replied. "I understand motion and its effects, but not how it feels. It is as if physical observation actually changes the thing being observed. I am reminded of several treatises on quantum mechanics and theory."

I made a mental note that Ainsley had read deeply in physics, and I wondered just how much she had learned. I was beginning to see the world through Ainsley's new eyes, and I felt a little of the excitement I could see on her face. We got to the apartment and Ainsley punched in the code to open the door. She held the door open for me.

"You know the apartment code?" I was surprised.

"Operator Vanessa Amante --" she started and I grimaced. "Vanessa," she continued, "shared information with me that she thought would be helpful." I thought I noticed a slight blush, but maybe it was just the lighting.

We entered the apartment and deposited satchels, backpacks and carried items onto my desk. I was proud of my apartment, even though I didn't spend a lot of time here. It had one bedroom with an attached large master bathroom, a nice kitchen with an attached dining area, a small guest bathroom, and large living room. I had split my living room into a smaller desk area as my "office," and the large remainder the living room as my gaming and entertainment "shrine." I had a comfortable couch and chair, footstools, and wall monitors and gaming systems which Vanessa had claimed as her personal "Ninja Fucking Valhalla" while we played Kill or Be Killed where I usually ended up getting sniper shot in my head while she laughed uproariously. "Lab turtle, you can even look over at my wall monitor and see where I am! What the hell?" Vanessa lampooned my skills. I thought that would be cheating so I never looked. I missed my lab buddy.

"This is an agreeable living space, David," Ainsley chimed, interrupting my melancholic reverie. She said nothing and walked into the guest bathroom. She dropped her shorts and sat on the toilet in one fluid motion, and proceeded to pee. While her movements were controlled and mostly natural, there was something off about her actions. I couldn't stop staring and reflect.

She didn't close the door, I realized, thinking that she probably hadn't worked out certain aspects of modesty. Sometimes Vanessa didn't close the door completely and would continue talking while she sat on the toilet, but we were lab buddies, I reflected. I found myself studying her as if I was a clinical observer.

She finished, stood up and flushed the toilet. She turned to the sink and began mechanically going through the motions of washing her hands so thoroughly that she could be a model for a restaurant employee training video. Of course, the model in a training video would done a few things differently.

"Normally, Ainsley," I coughed, "before washing your hands, you would want to pull up your panties and shorts when you were finished on the toilet." She had the smoothest, finest ass I had ever seen. The better angel over my right shoulder asked me whether Vanessa would approve of me drooling over her ass. She would have laughed like a maniac and told me to thank her for the spank bait, I told the angel. She really would have; she was just like that.

She stopped washing her hands, and turned to me, considering my suggestion. In turning to me, her naked thighs were fully visible. Vanessa had clearly taken care of herself, with her pubic hair neatly trimmed to a small tear-dropped shaped landing strip of honey-red hair. Her lower lips were clearly visible between the gap in her thighs. I blushed as I caught my thoughts wandering. Vanessa's carpet clearly didn't match the drapes: her jet black hair definitely didn't match her soft landing strip. Honey-red actually made more sense given the rest of Vanessa's body, it matched her brilliant green eyes and blemish-free light skin, although it didn't exactly square with Vanessa's proud claim of being a "one-hundred percent Italian asexual ninja bitch."

"Thank you, David, for this information," she said looking directly at me. She began to pull up her panties. I turned my head, feeling the warmth of my cheeks spread to the rest of my face.

"I will resume my research when I am able to connect to information sources. But, I will need to rely on you to correct me as you desire," she continued as she finished up. She then dried her hands on the towel next to the sink and walked back into the living room. Her shorts had wet handprints where she had gripped them to pull them up. I thought about pointing this out, but I let it go.

I realized there would be many more of these behaviors and quirks I would witness in the days ahead. Then it hit me: I would need to be responsible for Ainsley until I could restore Vanessa -- if that even could be done. I felt weary and overwhelmed. Panic crept up on me, and my room began to spin. I quickly sat down, almost slumped down, on my couch. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing. I may never restore Vanessa -- this was my fault, my code, my project, my mind raced on with blame and fear. I became lost in self-loathing and my uncontrolled worst fears. "Breathe, just breathe," I chanted.