All Comments on 'An Epiphany'

Oh. That's it?

Very realistic. Congratulations on a more believable story than the ones we usually read :

- where they want us to believe that a marriage is the prison of Alcatraz and that you can't get out,

- to make us believe that we need proof of cheating or betrayal, when this is almost never legally useful,

- that it's absolutely necessary to identify the other as the party responsible for the divorce, to protect the rumors,

- that it's absolutely necessary to burn the partner

- that you have to make your lover even more responsible, even though he's never promised you anything

- and above all, that betrayal is half the victim's responsibility,

Whereas a simple :

Even though I have feelings for you, I'm not happy with you, you're no good for me, I want a different life .....

But it would seem that the clichés of LW stories are deeply rooted in the minds of many authors.

A logical approach. She's no longer the person he married, so why stay married?

Well written but entirely narrative driven. Essentially just an outline for a larger story. You do have a good underlying point, young marriage with no kids is not the same as 20 years with children. 3.4*

I think anyone would like some explanation. D

Way too much narration. There is a major difference between Telling a story and writing a story. With readers it is usually best to write a story. If you are standing in front of someone then tell them the story. One dimensional. ⭐️

While a realistic story, it's pretty humdrum. He finds out his wife is a bitch and he leaves her and has a good life. That's nice, and sensible, and ... boring.

Like:

I went to the gas station and filled my tank with gas and then went grocery shopping and went home and put my groceries away. Then I sat down and watched TV until suppertime. I made a cheeseburger and some fries. Then I watched the news and a couple of shows and went to bed.

Sorry. It's well written but "Where's the beef?"

Boring

Being disinterested in the reasons behind his crumbling marriage (and eventual divorce) might suit his personality, but it doesn’t help the story much.

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How do you not investigate at all? Had she already cheated on him physically or was the affair ann emotional one at that time? Was she possibly being coerced, at least initially? Whilst we read that he tried to reconnect with her, his interest in the situation doesn’t seem to extend beyond their home. It’s odd.

Realistic, but not interesting.

Another story with a IDIOT MC. So had it been a true story, the MC deserved what he got. A real man would have checked things out a long time ago.

Trouble is, with no real evidence and only feelings to go on, he could have been the 'evil' one. Even if not, she MIGHT not have been having an affair, and worse, if there was a psychological or medical reason, his abandonment shows the 'in sickness and health', and 'for better or worse' aspects of his vows meant nothing. His apathy itself may be pathological.

In this one, he may well have been the 'cheating' (in a sense) spouse. He definitely was less concerned about the marriage. But then, maybe casting HIM as the potential bad guy was your intent. IF that's the case, well done!

Too slow pulling the trigger, but he got there. MC not much of a guy worth cheering for, but not pathetic either. Just OK.

By stalling on having kids, she made it easy for him to move on. Some other poor sucker will not know that and after one kid, she will go back to her evil ways and he won’t be able to easily walk away.

a rote recitation. It would help with completion to perhaps have a telling from her point of view, or a friend or co workers. Otherwise the tale is dry and unsatisfying.

Well from my point of view it might interesting to find out why the wife disrespected the husband so much, but a clean break is probably better in the long run. Sometimes it is better just to end something that isn't working. Good story.

"In the end, living well is the best revenge... and I am certainly doing that." sums it up for me. No communication? no marriage! well written

Best revenge. thanks

I care even less about the characters than before I read the story.

All the emotional depth of a teaspoon....a very flat one.

I gave this a 4. I don't know why so many authors have the MC turn off their cell phones, delete messages unread etc. To e that is the most stupid thing in the world. At least know what is going on. Listen to the bullshit. The 'I'm not interested in anything she has to say" just changes the whole narrative to the guy having his head up his ass no matter how in control he is otherwise. No emotional depth at all.

Well worm, but it left me wanting more.

I rarely side with the, in this case, supposedly cheating wife but the husband in your story comes across as boring, dull, wimpy, willing to run and hide rather than stand and fight. In other words the dictionary picture of a beta male. He's certainly not someone I would want as a friend or someone to have my back.

No, there's totally something else going on here. Compare this with the authors other story. This is far too dry and I can only think it was intentional.

Go look up "A Measured Response To Cheating" written by IMHAPLESS, I'm getting very similar vibes. I just went fucking insane with that story on the theories so ill just keep this one short.

For starters assume that the husband in this story is an unreliable narrator. Even if what I'm about to say sounds too bat-shit insane, there's a lot of hints the husband isn't a reliable narrator.

So my theory for this one is close to one I had for imhapless's story. The narration is coming form 2 different sources. One is the actual husband and the other comes from a personified item owned by the husband. In this case maybe some sort of digital assistant on the husbands phone and everything his source says is from his perspective.

"Since I never answered a call from a number that wasn't on my contact list, I never spoke to her live, however, she was able to leave me several voicemails. Once I heard her voice, I just deleted them, blocked the number, and I certainly never responded to them. She also tried to send me emails, but once I realized they were from her, I just blocked the address and deleted them."

That's the husbands digital assistant talking. When he said "I never spoke to her live" it's literal. If he "never" answered a call from a number that wasn't on his contact list well that's extremely unusual. Also that very first line:

"I wish I could say that I was broken-hearted. I wish I could say that I was devastated by her actions, but I can't."

and then immediately saying he loved he rand cared for her yadda yadda....The narrator contradicts himself in the first few lines. Unless it was 2 different narrators. Digital assistant can't be broken hearted or be devastated. Digital assistant said that first line and the husband said the other stuff.

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Seriously though this story and "A Measured Response To Cheating" totally have something in common I just don't know what.

Decent writing, though brief.

Best thing to do with toxic people is to treat them as radioactive waste: Time, distance, and shielding.

In this case, with no kids or other complications, and zero interest demonstrated by the wife's part to get closer, ADIOS!!! is the best answer.

That said, although the MC's course of action was wise, the story itself loses a little for not having the dramatic confrontation, and becomes more of a documentary.

I liked it. He realized that the marriage he was in was no longer working for him, and that his wife was not interested it in fixing it, so he left.

A followup from her viewpoint would work, but it not necessary.

Please keep writing!

Rocketman, your story is pretty close to real life. It is a sad but familiar story of how poorly a boat moves when there is only one oar in the water. I have to agree with Gamblnluck, he should have listened to all the calls and messages. The comments about the emotional depth of the MC are off-base. The guy was worn down, fatigued, resigned, and, in the end, withdrawn. I thought you captured that very well. Your score is lower than it should be. Please write another.

I liked the story, although it was familiar. I'm tempted to suggest that dialog would improve it, but I was cheering him on.

It was a good read but will fall flat because of the matter of fact delivery and there being no final conversation with the wife. No matter how good the short story is, loving wives readers generally want the “why” resolved. Not necessarily a burn the bitch, but one sided stories typically don’t fare well.

I look forward to your next story.

This story was interesting and well written, but really missed some closure from the wife’s side. What the heck happened from her perspective. Suggest you write a second part

I am really not sure what this stories purpose was. Beyond coming to a wall and breaking through and making a decision to move on with life, so what? There was no erotic purpose, there was no explanation of human behavior, and there was no parsing out of the problems between the two people. So again, why?

No story.

'She changed into a bitch, he left.'

Did it in 7 words.

Writing was OK so I've stretched to 3 stars.

4*. Lacked drama. Too much drama isn't good but a little is needed.

I kind of liked it. Yes, it was a bit boring and it could have been executed better. But the essential point the author is trying to convey is pretty clear.

In far too many instances in real life (and in LW), the husband drives himself crazy trying to "win" something that cannot be won. They try to win the "pick me" dance. Or they try to be a super sleuth and catch her cheating or determine she isn't. Or desperately try to understand the reasons why wifey doesn't love them anymore.

This story is just a statement that none of those three outcomes matter in his case. She can't possibly love him if she is treating him horribly. The story is an effort to say that the marriage is crap, she's checked out, he doesn't want to live with it anymore, and he has the epiphany that trying to "win" at any of those typical efforts no longer matters. She doesn't love him, so he doesn't want to be married to her anymore. Done.

Anyone who has ever watched a friend or family member try to salvage a marriage when the partner has checked out has seen the pain from the repeated efforts that end with another kick in the teeth. When it's gone, it's gone. So just go. No kids. No money issues. Bye bye.

I've thought that someone should write this same epiphany story when the suspicious husband learns how much the investigator is going to cost. Where he realizes that he would simply be spending scarce cash on a marriage that already sucks. Assuming no circumstances that would change the outcome of the divorce if adultery is proved, let it go. She's sucked as a wife for years. Let her go. There's nothing left.

Not really much plot.

there are two types of LW fans

the sick cuck freaks who pull thier little dicks at the thought of a real man fucking their wife, and the btb brigade who want a conflagration to warm the ashes of their dead souls

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this story does nothing for either group

know your audience

Well that's one way to play it. I might have forced the sale and split of the house but other than that, Kaboom!

I don't want to discourage an author, but at least for me, this is not a story. It is a lament/rant that is disconnected and not well written. There is no characterization, no plot, no point by the end. I have to give this 2**. Maybe try a different approach on your next story. This does not work.

An interesting way to deal with a wife who refuses to deal with you until its too late.

Imo it's a half story. It also read like a instruction manual. 2*

CHUCK2468

Hmm....need her side for closure

No pathos

3 stars

I liked it, She was not worth fighting for. The best revenge is not trying to win her back. Mark Twain's advice: The best revenge n a man trying to steal your wife? Let him.

Meh

I think a version from the wife's point of view would be nice and all around complete the story.

That’s a new approach. Good!

But I still need to admit that I would have preferred a bit more story.

So what about writing a second one from her point of view?

I dont’t care whether it would be ending with BTB or RAAC or something in between.

You write well, so I would like to see more of this story (and others as well) from you.

Well that was a waste of my time!

Well done...a great and realistic story.

DOL

A 3.5 if I could.

The "final meeting" might have been an interesting addition.

This guy's going to need therapy for a long time. It takes a lot to get to the point of just shutting it down. Not really a fan of guys who don't have the courage to speak face to face or take a phone call. If he can't handle a phone call, maybe he shouldn't be running away.

Refreshing.

Sadly, it doesn't hep the reader if you don't explain what happened to her, feels like lazy writing.

Pretty good. I liked the reality the story presented; why stay with an evil person, just move on. Been there. My only issue was, in my case, I did love her, despite the way she treated me, and if this story is lacking, it is only in that the MC appeared to be totally emotionless, which doesn’t spike a reader’s emotional response to the story.

"I never figured out what happened to her to make her treat me the way she did. "

The husband might not give a shit, but the readers do. This story fizzled out and died, because you couldn't be bothered to end it properly.

In real life, walking away from a dead relationship and ghosting the toxic women is a very sensible thing to do.

But it makes for a really dull and pointless story.

This is technically a story, which is about the best that I can say for it. 1*

This story is a waste of the electricity needed to power the server that stores this.

just one page non story

No dialogue? More of an essay than a story.

I like it, granted it might not be for everyone, but he decides to move on and cut ties with someone that means him no good.

While pretty realistic, it lacked emotion. No real conflict other than a dry narrative. The MC refusing any contact didn't help the dryness. Again, realistic actions taken.... but some back and forth would've really added a ton. We don't need no stinking Ninjas or annoying "alienation of affection" lawsuits, but we do need some emotional action.

Wasted my time. No substance at all

I love this. Be true to yourself. Thank you for writing it.

good job, you managed to hit every point on a laundry list of a story... just no story. 2*

Is this a story or an encyclopedia entry?

Great story . When someone doesn't care for you then this is best way .

5 stars

Pretty cut and dried. So dry, it was like reading a school textbook. For once I was glad it was a short one.

Okay, seriously, what was the point of this? It’s like you got out a list of tropes and just started checking boxes. Man, if something’s worth doing, it’s worth putting actual effort into.

I actually liked it but I think in some ways he went too far and in others not enough. I agree you don't need all of that proof to divorce but I for one would want really know so I would have tagged along on a few GNO or wait for the after work meeting stuff just to see for myself. No need to wait months and send flowers and stuff like that. She had her chance to talk. As for the house, I would force the sale and if it. takes a while who cares? Eventually you get your money. The longer she drags out the less money she also gets so again, who cares?

I like the approach meaning just leave and don't fight for her. She checked out so why not you as well?

2* Dull narrative with a cowardly husband who never bothered to confirm that his wife was actually cheating on him. An incomplete story.

"The details of our romance aren't really important, but we met, dated, etc." - Thank you! More authors should do this, instead of wasting time on meaningless backstory.

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"This type of emotional roller coaster was very tough on me." - It doesn't even sound like a roller coaster. Roller coasters have ups and downs, this sounds like a steady downhill.

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"unconvertable proof " - Incontrovertible.

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@c24j, it doesn't matter if she was having an affair or not. She had obviously checked out of the marriage, and was treating him like shit. Like the anchor in "Network," he was "Mad as hell. and wasn't going to take it anymore!" How was he "less concerned about the marriage" when he was taking all the steps to revive it? Even at the end she blew him off!

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I agree with the criticism that there was too much narration. We needed to "hear" those converstions.

Good one.

Not that I enjoyed reading this as this was a very sad story but I do think I woukd do all MC bad done to get out of a loveless marriage. Thanks @Rocket081960.

Was way too much narration. Wait…it was ALL narration. Absence of any conversation really dragged this down.

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The point of the story was spot on, however: get out of a marriage that isn’t working. Why wait for infidelity, or proof of it? If the relationship got toxic, remove yourself from it.

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This story repeats a meme that so many of these stories contain that I always thought was profoundly stupid—deleting texts and voicemails without reading or listening to them. Information is power….many nuggets of good Intel might be contained in these communications. Why deprive oneself of the knowledge that might EITHER reinforce your goals, or — occasionally— provide you with second thoughts? Just saying.

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4 ****

He's a lucky man .

Not only is he able to relocate somewhere else and get on with his life , it seems he has zero interest in seeing how his former partner makes out . More power to him !!

Good entertaining read .

Good story

A comment below stated: 'Being disinterested in the reasons behind his crumbling marriage (and eventual divorce) might suit his personality, but it doesn’t help the story much.'

More so: Why would a reader be interested in reading anything about a crumbled marriage, when the storyteller himself is not interested any more - and is even proud of not being interested? And why tell about it at all?

It takes more to make a story than put together a bunch of well formed sentences, which they certainly are. This is not a story, it's just a dull report. Some may read it as kind of a justification, but that's still far from making a story.

Two aspects:

The composition quality is good, with grammar, spelling and punctuation all up to Writers' Workshop quality. Stage to stage plot development is smooth if unexciting. So, all good here.

Re the story itself? About as "bare bones" as someone skimming through a story could stand, and in no way erotic--and no anticipation of there being any erotic activity in the MC's immediate future.

You write well. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future, so...more please.

MLJ

I would like to know what kind of drugs c24j is taking cause DAMN, that's some drug fueled bullshit that character is spewing. Must be a republican because there's nothing but projection going on in the comment. Every single thing c24j accused the mc of, the bitch was actually, enthusiastically engaged in.

I actually liked this story. She was a cheating bitch, making his life miserable by flagrantly cheating on him as witnessed by their mutual friends who had seen her cavorting in public. Hopefully she quickly becomes a seldom revised memory for the mc.

While well written, it was a rather flat and un-engaging story.

Its amazing how quickly some narcisic females change their mind when they are called on it by their partner and given their marching orders by a person who just moves on without a care to a better life. They no longer have control and dont like it. Their pussy no longer works the same.

Hi. I guess there's not really much material here for a story. What limited conflict there is, the MC doesn't care about. He has just "moved on." Nothing happens. He engages the trope of deleting all messages, avoiding contact or conversation, running away, and not talking to his wife - so the reader doesnt find out anything of interest or value to build a story on top of.

Agree with some of the comments here, it just isn't normal to ignore the VMs, texts, and emails. Deal with them, human nature is that we want to know "why", most of the time it won't matter in the outcome, but at a minimum it gives us closure and that is the only way to find true inner peace. From that peace one can move forward and live a good life which is always the best revenge.

Your story is like a build up from a wimp who doesn’t want to do anything with no confrontation, no conversation and nothing but leave quietly with his divorce between his legs.

Seems like he spent sooooo much time being disregarded, he just didn’t want to deal with it. We suspect he will live the rest of his life the same way without ever making his mark or speaking up, so it’s only a question of time and circumstances that he will continue to be taken advantage of. So sad!

Next time, at least give the guy or gal a small set of balls!

Not the best story and left so much to make it complete.

I certainly enjoyed this story due to its realism. Stories of over the top revenge with the MC spending truck loads of money on surveillance and other trickery are amusing, but I believe LW stories involving infidelity need to convey realistic actions and responses. This author did this extremely well and therefore I look forward to more of his/her stories.

Attaboy

BTB or not, we need a confrontation with the wife. This cheating bitch was really a chameleon who could change her persona at will. He was better off with her gone.

Well, as some clever people would say, it isn't over until the fat lady sings.

This one is very similar to my own story; vague accusations of molesting/abusing children!!!? , being sexually involved with unknown same-sex persons, being involved in money laundering/illegal business deals, infidelity.......ugh!

Being a wimp, useless, including not being a Man's ass (Right, better than being a Man's ass! Amen)

Well yeah, why spend precious time in trying to 'find' justice by suing for defamation? No digging 2 graves for revenge, thank you very much. That just poisons the soul.

As happy as a pig in Palestine now after a 34+ year sentence, don't give a flying fuck, often the chickens come back to roost, or is it to become roast?

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A straight forward telling of a dire situation. No problem with five stars.

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. And that is his feelings for her now.

No physical or emotional intimacy, no trust, no respect = no marriage.

“Burn the bitch” requires an intense emotional commitment and he just didn’t care anymore.

This could have gotten a higher score if you had expanded the story. Also Readers like to hear what happened to the Ex-Wife. Without that we feel like something is missing in the story. That is life sometimes, you only will know some of it.

So, please expand your next story, You can add in what other people tell the MC and his / or her feels. That would not need to be spying on the future EX-. But addition driving force for the MC.

Thank you!

… about a guy who seems to believe that communication is something that occurs inside his own head. We don’t see any dialogue, we have only past-tense discussions that indicate communication might have taken place.

We know nothing about the wife, just that he thinks she is a bitch.

It has all the interest and excitement of someone telling you about a vacation they once took.

We also don't know what or why Wavedave... but please take up a hobby. Something solitary away from people so that you don't get slapped for your ongoing stupidity.

Pretty much a tale about nothing, hated it and waisted my time, he doesn't know anything about what was going on and neither do his readers.

Why bother with this story.

"She can't possibly love him." I wonder. It seems to me Linda might be an emotional sadist: someone who enjoys causing emotional pain. Can such a person love? Can a loving person become a sadist? This story could have explored that, but didn't. Instead, it concentrated on the husband whose actions and stated feelings make me wonder if he ever loved her.

Had a very similar experience 45 years ago, lack of respect ccc ya

Not much of a story, no drama, no “life lived well” details, just a cold factual recounting. Disappointed that this wasn’t fleshed out more.

"I never figured out what happened to her to make her treat me the way she did."

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Everything you had him think -- expect the guy she was having dinner with -- was just supposition on his part. It's only half a story. How can this logically be more than a 3, at most?

The plot was good, short set up and it turned into……. Nothing, just nothing happened, odd.

Definitely needs a Part 2. The wife’s side of the story needs telling for sure. The MC not listening to any of her messages seems odd and makes this story incomplete. If the MC had a conclusive PI report that proved she was cheating, then I could understand not listening to her excuses. But we don’t know the whole story and neither does he!

Not much there, just incomplete, as it only represented his side of the story. Could have been much more for sure.... Need a part 2

That’s the way its supposed to be done!