All Comments on 'An Innocent Question Ch. 02'

But I hate to say, sorry, "I might have almost cheated once" is not a good enough reason to forgive her.

He already answered his own question:

"And that's hardly what I want, is it, Arthur? To be married to a woman desperate to fuck another guy, who's restraining herself only to keep me from throwing her out?"

End of story??

Still, I'll be interested to see where you go from here.

I don't think this idea of the trap was very good.

Looks like this could go either way... sure would be nice to know what they talked about for two hours?

Regards, DJ

I wont go into how much the husband got under my skin - Im sure others will and I can save up my problems with his character/behaviour till after the next chapter comes out.

Still think something is coming though.

I bet the wife has been screwing Chris all along. Seems deliberately obvious that you didnt mention her unresolved attraction for him or have any more snippets from hers or Chris' pov over a several week period. She has been fucking Chris ever chance she got for weeks and his little setup didnt work because they were in constant contact already. Since they were just together the previous day and/or had a regular meeting set up, the note was obviously a setup so they just played along.

Having him leave after he eventually finds out wont fix his character though. He will still be too annoying and wishy-washy for my liking. Even if its realistic to have doubts and want to save a long term relationship, you didnt need to make him so pathetic (kinda the undertone of this chapter it seemed to me) to have him want to try a reconciliation. You might think you are writing about secure, well adjusted, intelectual husbands but they dont always come across that way to me (see again my comment about him seeming like the kind of person you just cant help disliking even if you feel a bit guilty for doing it).

Still a good story though even if it wasnt quite as strong as the first chapter. Thanks again for writing.

but I totally hate the term "eating her out" It's disgusting.

Your characters are all over the place and the storyline stinks. You have attained "hack hood".

For some warped reason, I keep on thinking about Jimmy Carter and the sin of having lust in his heart. Though it is not germaine to this story, I had to mention it. You seem to be shifting away from the wife's requited lust for her lover to the husband's unrequited lust for the young woman. And they're not really the same. I remember a professor talking about the cycle of thinking, feeling and doing as it affected our moral behavior. But the husband never completed the cycle and though it may not lessen his guilt, he is probably blameless.

Boyd

i really think and i think his wife would agree he needs to have his own affair to makeit even ..she needs some of what he got....same feelings and the same remorse and fears...so maybe it would be to her benefit to find him some very young pussy to sleep with him ...and maybe why not destroy that bed and have it hauled off get a new wated bed something different

i wouldn't believe her about a "talk" either. not w/o tape.

i suspect a reconciliation. but for me it would be a bit much, forced. here is why:

1. she told hubby he was 2nd rate! he will always be 2nd rate in his mind. it will eat at him. he no only KNOWS he isn't enough to keep her faithful, but he KNOWS now another man was more pleasing to her! that will eat at the marriage and if they reconcile, i can see it breaking them up down the road.

2. he will never trust her totally again. especially since she told how she STILL lusted after chris, and how much better chris was. trust is hard, and rebuilding trust knowing she is fighting herself to do it again, it is harder.

3. she never really expressed remorse for what she did to the husband. she needs to grasp it.

sure she is sorry for doing it, but it feels artificial, removed. it seems she is sorry she was in a marriage so she can't go on with her affair, sorry her respectablity would suffer, not sorry (yet) she broke her husband.

Chris's POV...Arthur's POV...Diane's POV....this was a very childish use of this vehicles that does not help the story along and the use of Brigid is a red herring to mitigate things... almost as bad as the "invisible" lover conjured up in one of your earlier stories by the cheated husband...God...I can't even empathize with either character....are you sure they were married for 23 years and had two children? There is no pizzaz to the plot....and the two hours spent ... well... I know... chapter three will explain it by POV's by Ellen and by Chris... as more unecessary filler leading nowhere...

Why didn't Dan just go straight to Ellen's pussy when he entered the house...if it was wet and moist it would have spoken volumes...whether they fucked or not...and why was she so calm about her meeting and talking with Chris rather than concerned as to what it may look like to Dan or to the neighbours...who probably know the couple are having problems...maybe she and Chris knew they were being set up and were DAMNED whether they fucked or notso why not stay the two hours. Maybe Arthur squealed. Here's my POV's

Ellen's POV...God...I'm glad Chris fucked me from behind over the sink as I was making coffee...otherwise I would have resisted him...and thank god Dan did not enter sooner..I am now over Chris...I can move on with my life...with or without Dan...that's why I was so cool when Dan barged in...because while being fucked over the sink I was looking out the window keeping my eye on Dan as Chris fucked me. Diane was right..I am now lusted out...thank god we found out about Dan's nasty plot and used it to our benefit.

Chris's POV...Ellen sure knows how to suck my clock clean after I fucked her. When she called me earlier, I mentioned the email...we soon suspected what was up. When she told me that the bedroom was off limits,I mentioned that the kitchen wasn't. And what's this thing that it's ok because Dan had Brigid and he would understand her situation.

The worst chapter 3 can bring is a "pyschobabble" conclusion to this terrible piece of writing....or the fact the Chris and Ellen were fucking all morning when Dan's email came in pretending to be Ellen. She fucked him till noon...got him out of her system...and asked Chris to come by as the email said. This way, in her perverted outlook, she can prove to Dan that she can resist temptation for almost two hours...

There are two differences between his experience with Bridget and hers with Chris.

The first is obvious, she had sex with Chris and he only had sex with Bridget in his mind while having sex with his wife. This is not a subtle difference. The second difference is one he and the therapist have yet to discuss. That is she ACTED on her desire. He did not. The meeting at Elgin's may have been accidental, the flirting was not.

I am looking forward to part three, because I can't see any way out but a lont-term separation or divorce.

The second part is good, in my opinion not as good as the first part. I guess I just not a believer in the third party help. But, I still like the story. Wokndering what the third part will contain where you will take it. Keep on writing. Please.

There's no way on earth you can come up with a viable way for him to take her back!! But I'm dying to read Chapter 3!! Thanks ohio!

Not as good as some of your other stories. First, I am SOOo tired of the quasi-psychological tome to you stories. My personal flaw is that I think almost all psychology is pure qwackery. Show me a psychologist who can point to a peson and say "I cured that man/woman". You can't find one, there aren't any. I freely admit to being "in theapy" for a year for wartime related PTSD and the psycologist were aboiut as useless as tit on a boar. That not withstanding, this propensity we have to seek treatment from some nameless stranger as if they have the answers....well, I digress.

This guy had an "affair" So I guess she gets her freebie. But the trust in this marriage should be gone. Now, it won't because you, as author, can ome up with some bogus contivance to restore love and marital fidelity. That is the great thinkg about writing our own stories!

On the technical side I wholel agree with others who hae pointed out that this constant switching of the POV is a very poor technique to tell a story. You know what? I don't really give a fuck about Chris's POV. "I don't want to break up a marriage but I'll fuck her anyway!" Chris needs to have his balls cut off and Dan needs to be the one doing it. :-) Then neither one will need to worry but Chris' breaking up a marriage.

I hope the last chapter is better than this one was

your undeclared sex (see bio). As it is, you don't feel like the man I thought you were by implication and POV portrayed in each of your stories.

Some things might be more understandable and perhaps agreeable should that be the case. A Mrs. Fixit is better than a Mr. Fixit? Could that be? Perhaps it might cause more empathy from me given my male thinking not coresponding with yours.

Give that some thought.

With Some Regard but

jesus h christ what a train wreck ....

as I predicted this story has all the hallmarks of another OHIO reconcile at ALL costs along with the OHIO classic angles that are just anti man and attacking the husband angles that we have all come to love or loathe and read....

1 Can someone PLEASE explain to me why the husband is in therapy ? what did HE do wrong that requires HIM to be in therapy while she gets to whore around?

can anyone here engage in critical reasoning?

2 as I predicted the author would throw a TON of shit all over the hubby. In this chapter we have BRIDGET and his fake Email to the other guy Chris.

3 MORAL RELATIVISM... note what the author is TRYING to do... The thing with Bridget was a Party Flirt. It has happened to me... and I am sure to many of you. so what?

but in this story hubby spends hours and days with the therapist turning over the significance of this meaningless event?

WHY? b/c this is how the author will get them back to again. He says this DIRECTLY in the story through the hubby. Imagine the conversation that is coming...

HUBBY... "Honey I forgive you b/c one time 6 years ago some woman name Bridget touched my cock for 1 second..."

ROTFLOL!!!! I mean come on folks... this is Just silly

this is like that Capecod awful story NIGHTTIME CONFESSION. In that Story the hubby -DON-- after learning his wife fucked the 1 guy she said she never could... puts himself though hours...no days... no make that WEEKS f mental torture b/c a hooker at a drunken party 13 years before sucked his cock (13 years ago!!!!!) and 6 years before Don turned DOWN a woman that was coming on to him...

In that story and in this one the hubby has done nothing wrong in any way whatsoever... Lusting after Pamela Anderson is not that same thing as my wife fucking someone for hours and telling me he was far better than you and I will do it again...

Ohio... It is not even close and frankly it is a god dam OUTRAGE that anyone would attempt to tell me otherwise

4 the fake email.... Just like in HOUSE OF CARD... the author finds that ONLY way to get the reconcile underway is to have the hubby do something morally wrong. In House of cards he lies about an affair to teach the wife a lesson. The wife gets all upset abut the SEX she thinks Hubby is having but learns NOTHING of betrayal... so the lesson is lost.

in THIS story the hubby sends out a fake email...

then waits for 1:45 minutes???!?!?!?!? Given the wife confessed HOTNESS for Chris why wait that long...??

One could fuck for 45 minutes shower and dry yourself and still be sitting at the table when Mr stupid the super dork walks in crying like a girl...

come on Author stop this bullshit already and come up with a different formula.... the author has amazing talent but its always the same thing

Wow, Ohio is really taking a beating on this. There is so much poorly written crap on literotica that when runs into something that is well written the readers should give the writer a bit of a break.

I think this is quite well written. I like the premise. It's kind of unusual for this genre.

The wife had her one-time fling and then actually confessed. She was still attracted to the kid, but she had the character to open up to her husband.

And now people are claiming that she couldn't have sat there and talked with Chris for 2 1/2 hours. They must have had sex. But when I read a story or a book, I generally believe the author. If the author says that they didn't have sex, well, it is after all his story.

Now we don't yet know for sure what happened between the wife and Chris that evening, but if it was just a meeting to defuse the 'affair' then I don't see anything wrong with that. Especially in light of the fact that the husband set the meeting up.

I await chapter 3. Ohio continues to provide me with good reading and interesting scenarios.

Story content however was total bullshit. In a real world scenario there would have been no question in the man's mind what to do and how to proceed. He was so settled in his mundane lifestyle that he thought it impossible to move on. Ellen is the phycological fuckup in the household so Dan goes for counseling. "I might have not had the power to resist Bridget if I had the opportunity to fuck her."

That is the difference between a man and a fucking animal. Humankind have the power to make rational decisions. He made them. Ellen didn't.

Chris is into it for the pussy and will go along for the ride.

I had my estimation only half right in my comments yesterday that Dan might be guilty of an infraction too.

There could be a continuation of the sex between Chris and Ellen. Any wife that is a little leery of her husband catching her again is not going to take a chance fucking her lover in her house again and in her bed. Dan is a dumb fuck for setting up that scenario anyway.

If he wanted to make it easier to check her out, he would have arranged for the two of them to meet at a motel, sending both an e-mail or note to both of them. Then if they were smart, they would have met, left and went to a third location in different cars to fuck.

The old "Don't shit where your's hitched" rule applies here.

As to the end of this tale, one can only look at the author's other tales to get a look as to what will transpire in chapter three. He usually writes LHE (lives happily everafter) tales so Dan will wimp out, say all is forgiven take her back.

The key to me thinking that she fucked Chris in the kitchen as Average Joe deduced in an earlier comment was the fact that she was so loving that she came to bed wanting to fuck after he had just had spied on her and tried to catch her fuck her lover again. I've dealt with women 53 years and I'll be a son of a bitch if I've ever seen one that would hold a man in her arms and tell him how much she cared for him after that.

I'm like you Joe, I think Chris has been ringing her bell as soon as Chris's aunt told her that he would like to see her again.

It kinda sorta runs in her family too. Her sister Diane said she was envious of her.

Interesting to see what she tells the shrink when she meets with him. Who knows? Maybe the shrink will get a chance to tap into her too.

Utter "Beauvine "Scentology."

Not as hot as the first part, but I kind of liked it. Maybe I'm seeing something that others aren't, but it looks to me like we have two people struggling with their feelings, both toward themselves and toward each other.

But unless they start working together to re-establish the lines of communication and the trust that has been shattered, they're not going to restore their marriage.

And, actually, that's why I think the hour and a half meeting between Ellen and Chris could very well have been innocent. While Dan has been seeing a therapist to deal with his problems, Ellen has had no one other than her sister to unburden herself to. I think when Chris came over, she saw an opportunity to tell him face to face why she did what she did and why it can never happen again.

One other thing, having been in a situation like what Dan was in with Bridget, I can tell you that the only difference between what happened with her and what happened between Ellen and Chris is in the opportunity. I gar-on-TEE that if he'd had the same chance meeting with Bridget that Ellen had with Chris the same thing would have happened, marriage be damned.

A lot of baggage in this marriage, maybe too much for it to be salvaged.

Can't understand why he bothers reading the story. He claims he already knows what's going to happen next.

Come on Harry try writing something yourself and stop trying to make yourself look like a man by putting down other peoples efforts. You seem to have a lot to say for yourself, lets see what kind of a tale you come up with.

Sorry Ohio, but Harry gets so damned boring. He's like a politician, he shouts about what everyone else is doing wrong; whilst he does little or nothing himself.

As always, I am waiting to see where you are going tomorrow.

Oh, by the way Harry you vote zero; my friends and I will vote maximum every time!

This is very good all in all. I for one can see you have delved into forced controlled depression. The outside it still has to be brought out and dealing with the truth of feelings not controlling them.

The only problem is the husbands first meeting with the therapist. He has knowledge that is correct by the story that he really would not know is true or be able to tie down as he has to the therapist. There is so much more he would be wondering about and it would muddle his mind. I’ve never seen anyone so zeroed in on all the facts. His behavior makes for a very tight story and that is a good point so the story doesn’t turn into two chapters of psychological mind games. I’m just in awe of the feelings you have the characters portraying. They are a little to on point for me to say are realistic but are surely what people really have to deal with.

This was absolutely great and I know you will take a hit for portraying real life. Some people want a package of contrition and revenge and an absolute that this could never happen again or leave the bitch and everyone gets what they want and live happily ever after, or she dies a slow death and he marries a super model. This is real life and anything in real life is possible. It may not be what we want but it is what we have to deal with. Life is not fair it’s complicated and people sometimes don’t want to keep going on with how their life is and try and change that life. Sometimes divorce is a good thing for one or both.

Enjoyed part one. Totally disliked part two. Why?

1. Just tell the damned story. No one likes to suffer through everyone's perspective except authors who prefer to be redundant to make the story seem longer. The only important perspective is Dan's.

2. You've once again portrayed the male character as a wimpy, piss-assed ignoramous who cannot take a crap without his wife's (mommy figure) permission. "Oh, what to do, what to do? I cannot figure it out. Please tell me, someone."

3. Why is it that Dan does all the crying? Ellen fucked up. Has she no remorse? Obviously not.

4. You must live with a psychologically warped, deep seated bitterness toward males. You don't understand them at all.

5. It's obvious from your writing that the only strong people are women (the mommys of the world) who act out as they wish no matter who gets hurt, and they are always worthy of a second chance.

Guess what ... there will be no 3rd chapter for me. You just ended it for me today.

Thanks for another failed attempt to be original.

Really well written - does not matter if I like or dislike the characters, it is the story that counts. This is a good story.

Dan does not need a shrink he needs a revange fuck. Seduce other woman until he is glad that she cheated. lt worked for me.

ln the end it was a good experiens

nice story enjoyed it

Great Writing, but you turned Dan into some kind of wimp ass homo. I mean fantasising about Bridget with him and 2 other guy's. Please! Is he going to put on her panties now, because all that fucking crying has turned him into a little girlie man.In chapter 3 have him shoot himself,that will let her fuck Chris without this pussy being around.LOL Regards Luis

Or maybe I should just say YOU IGNORANT FOOL. Let me know when you nominate yourself for sainthood or discover the formula for perfection. Hell let me and some of us know when you put that keen mind to work and come up with YOUR perfect story.

You keep making the same mistake that some others do in their criticism. You forget that there is only ONE YOU. One person that sees things exactly like you do, one person that thinks exactly like you think, but here is the biggest mistake, you think that everyone should think like you and surpises you or irritates you when they don't.

You give your opinion and you are entitled to it but you arrogantly think that it really means something and should be respected because it came from you. Get over yourself.

Many of the things you keep saying couldn't happen or are absurd HAVE happened. I've seen a woman become obsessed with just this sort of situation and destroy the marriage/relationship that she valued most. I've experienced what OHIO described the husband going thru with Bridgett. Wrestling with the lust while being with the one you love. Ohio did a good job pointing out that there is a difference between temptation and sin. Men and women wrestle with just this sort of thing everyday. Some win some lose but it does happen. The first step to advancing from mere intellectual to wisdom is to realize that you don't know everything.

Do Ohio and yourself a favor, instead of sitting high and spitting low come on down in the water with the rest of us. By that I mean instead of spouting off your great lines try putting them together and write your own great story. Lets see how your work from your POV would stand up to the criticism. That's how many of us authors got started by writing our own instead of criticising someone else's endeavor.

OHIO

Good story can't wait for part 3 tomorrow.

Read ya later (wouldn't want Harry to think I'm just an anonymous critic)

Bishop

are of course the comments. but no 'women hater' and no 'i hope Chris got her pregnant' comment. dang, im disappointed. LOL

anyway, i think the story is well written, just that the plot is a bit contrived.

3rd chapter tommorrow. i wonder how many comments will that get?

I will give you a 25 because you took the time to post the so called story. I hate to say it, but this was not up to your writing and it was worse that the first part.

Dan should have seeked a Divorce Attorney after she confessed her infidelity. Now that he cannot live with it and her, get a Divorce and Move On.

Dan is letting the monster in him control him and he is not controlling the monster. He proved that by trying to set Ellen and Chris up. He wants grounds for a divorce because he can't or will not handle the issue. Yes, he was sorry for what he had done, but he did nothing to stop it when he thought they were fucking.

The counselor or Shrink, should tell him to either move on with his life or move out. Dan is not sane at this time. He can no longer trust Ellen. When there is not Trust in a marriage, there is no marriage, no matter how long they have been married. They do not have a open marriage and he has just lived off of a fantasy and Ellen has fulfilled her fantasy. Dan is not the marrying type of man and he should move out of the house and move away from Ellen.

If Ohio writes the next chapter where all is forgiven and everyone says they are sorry, it will really be a mess. Of course Ellen is sorry and she is a sorry person too.

Once A Cheat, Always A Cheat.

I will read part 3, mostly just because.

A couple of observations, most of which have been made before:

1. The husband is spending too much time in self analysis and not enough time talking to his wife about this problem. I am not saying he should not look at his life and temptations, etc, but the problem is not him, not even her (though it is caused by her actions), it is the two of them. One of them cannot solve the issue.

2. He never asked her about her feelings about Chris. This incredible lust she felt, is it over, etc. Why does she think she felt it? Does she still feel it? That was simply not realistic in my opinion. Weak or strong, that is at the crux of the issue.

3. I agree with average Joe. The way you have written it leads me to believe she is trying to resolve her issues by fucking Chris until she tires of him. I think she knew she was set up. Come on, two people feeling that kind of lust are not going to set around, unless they figured it out. Besides at some point someone would have mentioned the email.

4. I will also agree that you have fallen into a kind of rut with to much psychological issues leading to a couple "working it out". I have no issues with couples attempting to save a marriage, but often there are no answers as to why, it is just a decision to try. I also do not believe in revenge fucks, violence, etc. That may sound great in a story, but the truth is it carries a huge cost. Leave or work at it, it is a simple decision, simple but not easy.

M

Only positive thing I can say is it's pretty well written. Unfortunately, as stated before, it IS psycobabble. I like the "quasi-psychological" comment made earlier! I have to agree with everything "Chagrined" and "HarryinVA" stated earlier. And I have been to therapy for very similar reasons as "Chagrined" and found the shrinks to be a total waste of time, I even managed to piss them off.....well, that part did make me feel a little better! In all, your husband characters always come out on the short end of the stick. Instead of making them seem educated and well thinking individuals, they come off as spineless fools. I have little hope for the final chapter.

maybe I will and maybe I wont and maybe I already have...

Regardless of what YOU have said --and what other anon posters have asserted -- the fact is that several others here have already posted the same ideas.

OHIO's story are amongst the best written but the forumla is always the same. Chagrined has said its Risq has said it and F Cheeze has said Just to name a few .

Only the man goes into therapy... often enornmous pressure is put on HIM to reconcile... well we know th drill. It is clear OHIO is Not a guy or if he is ... he is a serious self hating man....

again look how many ohers here have made a similar comment.

I have done nothing but given your stories great praise... as I have DG hear ( who has LOTS and LOTS of happy endings!!!) as well as HDK Chagrined Clocas and many others. And yes in "silent treatment" I gave that story by OHIO a 5 and said many many great things about that story in the feeback

let me ask you this... you say you personally know of a case where the wife become obessed with another guy sexually...

OK... fair enough. But did the wife STILL claim to love her husabnd? and if so who would belveie such bullshit? certainly not you.

or anyone else

is that you think your opinions are more valuable and important than what the author actually wrote!

I happen to like the story, but that's not my point.

Many of the people who slam this story say things that show they simply haven't read it carefully. For example, that Ellen doesn't love her husband--well, she at least THINKS she does, because she says so more than once! And she misses him desperately when he leaves.

Another reader is sure that Chris and Ellen were fucking the evening Dan set them up with the fake email--even though Dan rushes through the house checking every bed and every shower (all of which are completely dry). "There was time for her to have fucked him and then showered." Oh yeah? and then she dried the shower thoroughly with a towel, and then hid the towel? Why would she do this? she thought Dan wasn't coming home until 10pm??

If you don't like the story, fine--say so. When I don't like them I sometimes say so. But to tell the author he or she is a moron, simply because the characters don't behave the way YOU want them to--well, then write a different story where the characters act just the way you want them to!

ohio isn't you--don't expect him or her to write like you! And I don't see how it helps the author when people make constructive comments like "the story sucked, you're a total wimp asshole".

if a man fucks up your marriage,why would send him by your house to fuck your wife again.i would try too fuck him up.i wouldn't be home crying like some bitch.the marriage vows was more inportant to the hubby than the wife,she cheated and he didn't.hubby has done all the suffering and the wife just going along like what the big deal.all the wife is doing is thinking how good her lover fucked her.the aunt is a pitfall for the wife.all this is to simple and common sense don't work for educated professional.

LOL

this story is so ludicrous, it is actually VERY FUNNY. So, if we can ignore the stupidity of it, and focus on the funny part, it is actually very enjoyable!!!

nothing against OHIO, the writer; he's a great story teller.

but the story about a guy who loves a peculiar form of fetish (to talk to his wife about her fantasies and her real sex acts with others; and to have hard-ons fantazing other women, including his wife, having sex, with himself and with other men) and he CRIES AND CRIES and goes to see a doctor about such fantasies!

really, OHIO?

"I knew Chris was over there at my place; Ellen didn't know I knew it. I wasn't sure what to do, so I gave them a chance to talk; perhaps that's all they'd do. She didn't say they gonna have sex in her email. How do I know she's not going to fuck him on my bed, again? She didn't say she was gonna fuck; only just TALK, she said. Anyway, there's no way I'm gonna believe her again, even though I knew she won't fuck him this time.

"NO, I'm gonna wait and barge right in, at the most opportune time (to witness the whole thing so as to produce a hard-on: to the slower audience!). Despite what my LOGICAL MIND says, she and Chris are having sex,,, right this moment,,, I gotta go!

Drives right to his door steps; runs right in. Ellen's sitting, FULLY DRESSED in the kitchen. "What's going on, honey? Why are you barging right in like that? You thought I was having sex with Crhis again? Oh, honey, I'm sorry I din't tell you. We was not planning to have sex at all; just talk. I just needed to meet with him SECRETELY, without your knowledge, while you was out inthe office working late,,, to tell him that was our only afternoon together and that there would be no more of that. That's all, honey!"

Tears running down HIS face. "Ellen, honey, I love you for over 20 years; produce two fine children; but I am not so sure if I can ever trust you again. I am so angry with you right now,,, but, gosh,,, I have a big hard-on, despite my anger!,,, Just a few moments before I got here, I was visualizing you and Chris togehter rutting away in our bed, THEN my thoughts turned to Bridgit,,, gosh, that woman, who actually offered herself to me, after I caught her rutting in some closet at work,,, I got such a hard on, Ellen,,,

"Gosh, I am so disgusted with you, with me,,,, I need to sleep,,, but I know I can't sleep,,, I will need to run to see Aruthur again, the first thing in the monring!"

I mean, OHIO, do you see how HALIRIOUSLY stupid this kind of story is? LOL

If we could ignore the "STUPID" part,,, itt's terribly funny, though I'm sure you did not write with your tongue firmly in your cheek! Or mayhaps you did? LOL!!!

Happy trails are surely ahead for these three fucked up main characters. Count me out if this is an example of a happily married loving couple. I cried myself to sleep while not reading all about the true love of the wimp and the slut. LOL. This story is so funny that it should be in the Humor category. I'm sure that the happy ending at all costs do-gooders (charleybear) will say forgive and forget and they will live happily ever after. How do you forget? Does adultery cause amnesia? Can you ever again trust a cheating slut wife that still has hot pants for another man? Does the whore deserve forgiveness? Do you forgive her next time too? And you can be sure there will be a next time. Bet on it.

PC society. There is no such thing as a strong white hetrosexual male. This days of kicking the wife into the street are over. That why I was married three times before I was 30 years old. I walked away from three cheating women. I feel revenge can be taken to far. The same with goes with getting back together at all costs. At some point you have to cut and run. If I was any kind of a writer. I could write many stories about my own marriages and some of my friends marriages. Ohio I think your a great writer. you get better with every story you write. I might not agree with you and how you handle the problem. But I still will read everything you write. hrider

It isn't finished, and I wish we didn't have to grade it now.

I gave him a 100 for his skills and the story a zero because

it isn't finished.

But we ALL know Ohio would find some way for a "happy" ending.

If he had written WWII in a play...Adolf Hitler would have

founded Israel and married a Jewish lady. Stalin would have

played 3rd base for the Yankees and they would still have beaten the crap out of the Boston team...forget their name

right now.

So cut him some slack. DON'T read it unless you intend to

write in another ending after you download it.

Do download it. Read it after it is finished and then be

kind to him. I wish I could find his address and send my

ex wife to marry him. He would make Rob Conners look like

a missonary after she got thru with him. :)

rats.......forgot my password...

I have to give high scores for the effect you are having on the readers. Isn't it great that we are able to interact with the writers of the stories we enjoy, and we do enjoy them. That's why we read them. There are few absolutes in life. Different situations draw different reactions from different people. There is no right or wrong action, or reaction. There're only a few possible endings and I'll be reading chapter three to learn which way you went with this story. Thanks for creating a spark in Lit.

She tells her sister that she stills lusts after Chris,but she tells her husband she will never do it again?Which is the lie?Most of Ohio's story end in reconcilliation so I guess we'll never really know,but he is a great author.

I really wasn't going to comment, BUT......a note to Ohio. I, for one, am enjoying the story. The writing is excellent and the plot intriguing. I'm anxious to see where you take this. I also recognize that there really isn't any proper way to develop the characters or the plot. It's the authors perogative - it's the authors story. The reader can go along or stop reading. If the reader becomes upset, that's the reader's problem. The reader has options - enjoy or pass it by.

Ohio, thanks for your efforts - they are appreciated. Keep 'em coming.

Ok, I re-wrote this about six or seven times so far, so I “hope” it comes out like I planned and not as combative >=)

I wasn't really a fan of this part of the story.

Ok, while I hope I understand the writers "intent" I can’t say I agree with it. One thing I believe Ohio is trying to do is place the husband in a "similar" situation and say "Well how can each of us honestly say what we would do if we're faced with the same situation?" I hate to say it, but that argument really didn’t work well for me when it was applied to the husband.

Here’s why:

1.)The husband commented about his obsession with "Bridget" yet he didn’t acted on what he wanted wanted to do and he "was" give the same chances.

Let’s look at this for a second:

________________________________

"And, turning her body towards mine, she planted a soft kiss on my ear, while her hand reached down and stroked my rock-hard cock through my pants.

"Oh, I think you HAVE been wondering, haven't you, Dan?" She laughed again, in her wonderfully melodious way, and then she left me and returned to the party in the living room.”

________________________________

The husband "had" the offer to cheat on his wife. The woman of interest gave it too him. Unlike Chris who only had to stand there, this woman was touching him him all over and he still didn't bite. And he never acted on it. He thought about. He considered it. But he never "acted" on it.

2.)In the case of his wife, she "did" acted on it, and she even WORKED hard at acting on it and kept working at it till her confession.

-She met him by "accident" at a restaurant.

-Offered to meet him at another location (in this case her home) for sex.

-They had sex multiple times, doing things she never considered doing with her husband.

-Then the wife started calling her lover where he was staying repeatedly through out the day, only to see if she could meet him again later for another round of sex.

See she crossed a line of working hard for her obsession. He did not.

And this is where you lose me Ohio. Your trying to use to "vaguely" similar situations and give the reader the impression that they are very "closely" similar. They are in fact not. The husband in what you have provided so far "did" have the same chances, he just didn’t take them.

The husband could have suggested another location to meet at and cheat on his wife while this woman was stroking him. He did not. He could have talked to her at any of the functions that he saw her at. Yet he still did not. In fact he didn’t pursue the other woman at all. The story just mentions that while he "ran into" her at various parties, he just waved at her from "across the room", never getting any closer than that. He never crossed the line of fantasy to try and setup up an off site date to meet her at another location for later.

But his wife did. From the moment she saw Chris at that restaurant she decided and was determined to have sex with him. The husband did not pursue this other woman even though he knew where she was and could have easily done so.

So no, I personally as a reader can’t really say I see any similarities beyond they both had fantasies. Sorry. Fantasizing about being with someone is one thing, but the wife crossed the line and actually made her fantasy a reality.

And this little gem totally turned me off of the husband character:

"But if I would have given in to Bridget, then I was no better than Ellen—I was just as vulnerable to temptation, and I had no right to feel morally superior. My faithfulness and Ellen's adultery were then reduced to a matter of luck, of pure circumstance."

This is the part that pretty much confirmed it was a reconciliation at all cost story. His wife made her luck. But when the husband is already considering if he is "no better" than his wife, because while he had the desire to cheat but he never did, he starting to compare himself to what she did. For me that's a flag of the worse kind

I guess my real problem looking in at this story is that its hard to have feelings of good will towards the wife when her attitude is “I’m really sorry that I got caught, but I wouldn’t have missed the experience of sleeping with Chris for the world” and the husband really comes off as someone looking for any justification to stay married to someone who could continue to feel this way.

Well, I gotta say that from my previous list it’s not really starting to look like it's becoming resolved in anyway that make me feel she’s earned redemption or it makes sense for them to stay together beyond the fact you say they will. And if it was even possible the husband has become even less a person in my eyes. Part 2 has reduced him into a crazy man grasping at any straw so he won’t have to learn to live alone.

If they stay together, based on what I’ve read in part 2, I’d say they deserve each other, but not because it was the right thing to do in the story.

Good writing style, but again it left me feeling the husband got shafted, he knows it, but is willing to put up with it so he doesn't have to live alone

-Risq

Are you really suggesting that only folks who give praise to the author should ever comment?

Don't get me wrong, I know some folks can be harsh at times and some of it is totally uncalled for, but are you really asking for only yes men and women to comment?

Just curious.

-Risq

perfectly stated....

OHIO seems to have serious anti man problem .... and the authors use of Moral relativism is obnoxious.

Oh I am sure this sounds mean or nasty but this author does this in a GREAT many of his stories

It seems that Ohio's basis for reconcilation .... as you stated --is that Steve has NO reason to be angry or upset since Bridget touched his dick for 1 second several years ago .... where upon Steve turn her down-- In other words he did the CORRECT thing.

The wife PLANNED to do and DID do the wrong thing many times...

But according to Ohio these two things are VERY similar. Ooggling a woman's big boobs at the beach in a bikini is NOT the same thing as fucking her sveral times in your martial bed

That is just 10000% Bullshit and we all know it.

I commend the author for another thought provoking story, all we have to do is to look at the number and variety of comments to realize this is the case.

One of the beauties of this site is that there are stories for all types, those like the comments from Harry who believe that one mistake means "shoot the bitch", those who want the husband to be a true cuckold and let her fool around with whoever, and those like this story, that deal with caring people, who heaven forbid, actually think before they react.

One thing to note, Ch. 2 ended with his reaction, following true to form I expect to see her take on the meeting with Chris, and perhaps Chris's to. Until I read Ch. 3, I am not going to pre-guess Ohio and state that the one time affair is over or that it's not.

Like many, I would like to see more on her realization of what she has done to her husband, that is my one complaint so far. She realizes she may have ruined her marriage, she realizes that if she gets back with Chris again it's over for sure, but she hasn't, at least to my satisfaction dealt with what she has done to the man she allegedly loves. In Ch 1 we saw that she kept phoning Chris on Monday, in Ch 2 we see that she avoids contact, but wants to contact her husband. Is it the end, I guess Ch 3 will tell us.

It may well be that this is covered in Ch 3 to a greater degree, and if it is, and a reconciliation is in order, then I will support it.

To those who criticize a husband with emotions, crying as he deals with the reality that he is facing, what is wrong with real feelings, rather than blind hatred and striking out at the world. A one time cheat may be grounds for divorce, but at the same time, many relationships may well survive it.

I may not always agree with how Ohio deals with all the issues, but I will always read his stories, for they are well written, and clearly thought provoking.

Each of us may do something differently, and I should note, we are free to do so. If you hate the story, write your own, and let us criticize you in the same fashion that some of you have done here. If there is something you don't like, why not try constructive criticism, funny thing, authors are more likely to respond to that than object vitriol.

Finally, I applaud the author for accepting all comments, and for his continued efforts to provide real entertainment.

andrew peters

As usual your writing is coherent and lucid. May I suggest, however, that this story needs a single author, not four. If you need to write from each character's viewpoint, I'd suggest writing a separate story for each. If you want everyone's viewpoint to be narrated within a single story, you could write in third person rather than first, which would enable you to tell everyone's side without making the reader switch bodies every 10 paragraphs.

Despite all the comments to the contrary, I think that this is actually portraying a more true to life situation than many stories.

There people out there that simply say "Out bitch", and are done with it.

There are also people out there that think, "Hey wait a minute, am I going to throw 23 years with a woman who was a wonderful mother and wife without at least understanding what happened."

Personally, I hope that I am of the latter catagory, although I can't honestly say without actually being in those shoes. What would I do in this situation? I hope I would follow Dan, and at least try and understand. I probably wouldn't set up a meeting with my wife and Chris, but I hope I would try to talk with her, understand what she was thinking. After all, you have set these two up as a couple that has talked everything through in the past. Why not now? It may not result in a reconcilation, but at least both people would understand what they are making a decision based on. Not just facts, but feelings.

I know a lot of people don't like therapists or marriage counselors, but there is a reason they exist. They do help some people. Some people they can't - I suspect because those people come in with a closed mind.

Hi,

This was the first story of yours that I have read. I am enjoying it thoroughly. It is very well written. Your dialogue between the characters and their development are excellent. I am relatively new to this site, however I can't believe how mean-spirited some of the comments are. I am anxiously looking forward to the final chapter and reading some of your other submissions.

Jenny

I am not intimating that only favorable comments be directed to the author, but what I am saying is that many who comment seem to want a different story than the author intended. Why disagree with how the author plotted the tale? This story is as it is, how the author intended. Would you be upset to discover that the sun rose in the east?

You may not like how the characters play out their roles and you may not enjoy the plot development, that's valid. But why insist that the author is incorrect? This is his story and it follows a path that he has set. Why insist that he defer to his readers? An author writes a story based on a plot and characters that he has fashioned from his imagination. Who is to gainsay him or her? You may like, enjoy or despise, that's your right, but you may not change the tale. That no one can or should do.

GUYS...

This idea that I am "Throw the bitch" out proves that wither you seem to have trouble reading.

There are NUMEROUS stories where I have fully supported and like the reconcilation ....

all one has to do is see stories from Juanwildone or HDK or DG Hear or Clocas... where I have posted lots of praise on those excellent stories.

the Poster STILL GOOD raises the issue of the 23 years as a reason why the Hubby should not react rashly. I agree ... but how come STILL GOOD poster doesnt say .."My god how could the wife do that to her husband of 23 years!!."

IMO...You are being Grossly unfair and severely biased BECAUSE the only one who you wnat to consider the 23 years of marriage is the Hubby. The wife gets a pass from ya....

It is NOT throw the bitch out to complain of the same forumla.

It is NOT "throw the bitch out" to complain about the OUTRAGEOUS claim that Looking at a hot sexy woman with Minor touching for a few seconds is somehow the same thing as fucking some one else several times in he marital bed.

This isn't the hottest story I've read, but it's certainly one of the best written. Keep it up.

And no, I don't think only positive comments should be aired.

Ohio, I think this is another great story. I hope you never let the personal attacks stop you from writing. These are your ideas and you write them however you want. I'm a softy and enjoy happy endings. You, HDK, Blue88, The Wanderer and a few others have really given me a lot of reading pleasure.My only complaint is I wish there were more stories. You write them and I'll read them. Vetter350

Just wonderful to see a true MAN and not whimppy egotistic Heman whois gutless in seeing both sides of situations.Too often in literoticia one reads ego stuff,it is just so wonderful to read stories by writers who have theirselves in the present.A problem I see is a LOT of readers are so fixed in their world that no one else can have an opinion,even when it is only a story,a lot of readers NEED to realy look at their lives and that IS what this story does.

KEEP this story line going as is and let those that object reread them 50 times so they get the message.If a lot more people got the message of this story what a wonderful world it would be.Enjoy.

.......but there are some folks who aren’t trying to “change” the tale as so much as explain why they don’t like something they see either with the story or with parts of it.

And I’m excluding the folks that just post short, nasty, comments, that have no redeeming value, save that they are just written to irate the author and anyone else that doesn’t agree with them. They don't explain anything and always post a short "you suck" as a comment. Those I've never understood.

And I know that not everyone is going to take the time to go into detail. The most that some might say is “hate it” and then go on. What does that tell the author, if they actually care why someone hated it? But I have to admit, maybe it’s just me, but I have noticed that sometimes you don’t seem to like criticism much, and you tend to point it out when you post in other authors comment threads. I’m not saying you or any other author should have to put up with direct abuse, I mean I wouldn’t like that much either and we all could be more civil to each other, but sometimes it does feels like your lashing out at everyone who doesn’t tell the author’s what a great piece they just wrote. Especially if you felt it was good and some others didn’t. Maybe that’s just a faulty assumption on my part, and I apologize if it is, but it does feel that way sometimes.

I mean you used the sun for your example, but let’s say the author decided to write a tale and set it in the “Star Trek” universe. That world has a given set of rules that govern what characters are found there, how they act, what abilities exist in the world, how the ships travel, etc. Now let’s say an author decides “You know I’ve always wanted to write a space opera where the Klingon’s get to battle the Jedi’s from “Star Wars” on speeder bikes. At that point for me, and I’m sure most others, I will have a major problem of the mixing and matching what an author feels is creative liberties. And I’m sure if they write it they will feel it was a good story. Me, not so much so.

I for one could careless the topic of choice and some authors are a joy to read. But if I don’t like the story I’ll at least explain why to the author. It’s up to them to either think about what was said or just ignore it because they feel they are always right. That choice has always been up to the writer. But I do know that some of them want to know why they are getting a low score on a story they thought was good. Maybe I’m wrong and just a few want to know, and some others just want to only hear the good.

But to each their own I guess.

-Risq

This chapter was a great next step in this saga. The fact that you ended it on such an emotional note makes it all the more difficult to try to guess where this is going. The writing is superb and the pace is perfect.

Thanks again for all of your efforts.

There are several commentors that seem to enjoy blasting Ohio for his stories. It's simple, if you don't like his work, don't read it!

Ohio, HDK, KK, Wanderer, and Longhorn are my favorite authors. They are great story tellers. And that is what they are is stories, it is not real life.

Although I believe it is possible that a cheating spouse may love their mate. I believe they love themselves and their pleasures more. This story shows several of the types of pain that are caused. The loss of trust, the feeling of inadequacy, and the anger. These are what destroy a marriage. When trust goes and a mate feels the need to spy and watch their spouse the marriage isn't going to last long....

Certainly with therapy there are husbands and wives that can move forward... but it really requires that they both be open and communicate their feelings....

For a different take on the story read 52pickup... It is very similar; cum-panties, the names of the characters, the name of the stories ect.. But in 52pickup the husband decides that he can't forgive and takes revenge in the divorce.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter of the tale, and all the future stories by Ohio (regardless if they are reconciliation or not)...

PS. I like the fact that we have the wife and husbands POV. I really would have liked Houseofcards to have some chapters with the wives POV....

this added nothing to what you posted before except sounding clinical. should have quit while it was just an average post and not ended up with a dismal groan.

Some commenters get too excited and go overboard on either side of the fence. I really enjoy reading the comments often more than the story.

Why do I spare the really bad authors and stories of my negative comments? Because they are not worth my time. I stop reading very fast (and probably vote 0 on the voting buttons) and move on. By the way, I believe the feedback grades have no voting value. It just tells the author how much you liked the stories. What has value is the voting radio buttons.

Why do I read the freaking story and put negative comments if I do not like it? Because the beginning of the story piqued my interest and had a great potential--and it looked realistic. So when it gets unrealisticly ridiculous, I get pissed off, but I do not think the story is a piece of shit yet. Otherwise, I would do as described above. And I really give good writers a break.

I am sure many people have been tempted crazily and it might have been a matter of luck more than resolve if they passed the test. Probably each one of us in a certain situation would commit murder, but that does not mean murderers and serial killers should be all forgiven and left free. If you are not lucky, you should suffer. That is one real rule of life. I am sure there are many tests (to each their own) that would make each of us fail, but when we fail, we suffer the consequences. What would it be if we failed miserably?

Temptation in a restaurant is hardly a tough test for anybody. Even virgins can pass that test. The wife, as someone already pointed out, worked really hard to fail. That deserves no sympathy. The husband actually had a greater temptation and did not fail. I have a problem believing he would have paid every penny he had to fuck her. He did not have to do that and he did not try unless he was a sorry wimp not good for anything.

Comparing the two situations amounts to losing one's head. Well, maybe the shock rendered the husband crazy. Since there was no hope of getting the wife's moral standing up to warrant a second chance, the author resorted to bringing the husband down. Why not have him admit molesting his daughter?

Is this how a talented author resolves tough situations realistically? What did you leave to everybody else?

I have to thank the author for giving us this floor to discuss issues raised by his well-written but badly conceived story.

Don't you just love it people are so defensive when comes to Loving wives cat? So having an affair is not ok but having incestuous relationship is fine? What a bunch of crock. I rather screw a stranger than my own daughter whether in reality or fantasy realm.

I think this was a good story. Keep it coming Ohio Blue Bayou.

With all due respect the premise does not hold water – uncontrolled urges? If this wife has impulse control problems we see no reference to that in the story in any other area of her life (no indication to sex addiction either)The simple conclusion - she gave herself permission to stray. The strong attraction was an EXCUSE to act out on unmet needs already in existence, not the other way around. i.e. - the appearance of an attractive guy in the area does not usually leave a path of destruction amongst happy satisfied married couples. The claim that it does is bogus! So I come back to my ancient litmus “love test”: inflicting pain does not equal love or - if you are ready to inflict pain and trauma on your spouse, your ‘love’ is mixed with more than a quart of anger; resentment ambivalence; unmet needs and who knows what else. But certainly NOT the picture of solid and communicative couple (where was the communication when she felt tempted?). Some other factors come to play when people give them selves the permission to destroy their loves. Just because the reasons may not be OBVIOUS does not mean there are NO REASONS as some people want us to believe. Rarely do we get a glimpse on those motivations and this story is no exception. Usually we have to content with some sort of incoherent statement statements of the like of “I adore you even as I stub you in your heart with my affair” Give me a break and get a clue. Like work on developing credible characters.

Rather than gaining good grounding in the main character (You choose to defuse the plot through seemingly endless point of views, which are hardly justified. Those POV are actually quite similar, and thus pretty much repeat in different words each others version. RASHUMON it is NOT!

Overall the plot is still painfully predictable and formulaic – still the motel still the therapist still the irrelevant parallels which the typical self emasculating husband offers to the wife as an out. SHE has to tell him that unlike him he was thinking while she was fucking… DAHH!

How dare she invite her lover into HIS house again! First she sleeps with Chris in his bed, then invites Chris in for a long (nearly 2 hour) TALK at the kitchen table?? At their table?? In HIS house again?? She just does not get it! Does not get how much she shattered their marriage. Dan should chop up the bed, burn that damn table, and sell the house. THEN maybe they could start over in another house, possibly in another city. And make it clear that if Chris is ever in his house again (where ever it is), he would do everything he could to put him in the hospital! That either he or Chris would wind up needing intensive care!

ELLEN'S HAD IT MUCH TOO EASY! She didn't move out of the house, go to counseling, or any such thing. She had great sex for only a few tears. Way too easy!!

A big AMEN Blue88. While I may disagree with the way a writer wrote their story IT'S THEIR STORY and work!!! For all of you who "know" how a story should be written "JUST DO IT" as the ad says. I'm sure everyone(or 50% anyway) will love to read your story.

that thinking make be different from what you think.who saids either is right or wrong,but they can speak their minds and that's ok.some people minds aren't totally on line mentally,so we can judge for ourselves what i like and don't like.commentor come from all walks of life and they bring their thinking with them.if my woman love fucking another man better than me,some is going to have to give.she must make a decision one way or the other,but one mark not in her favor she fuck him the start with.divorce in front of her too let het know what at sake.the marriage wasn't as inportant to her as it was to the husband.

of trying to keep up with who said what and when and for what reason...Oh well there are those that want a part three..I am sorry that I even started to read the damn thing...multiples personalities in one person that writes a story lie to each other...

I said in my comment on the first chapter that I don't believe in the basic premise of the story. Kolkore's says it better then I did. A sane woman in a loving relationship is not incapable of saying no. I've been inexplicably attracted to a woman to the point on infatuation before and at no time was I ever near a point that I had lost my sense of right and wrong. We are not mindless animals ruled by pheromones.

I remember, years ago, being given a piece of paper to complete a psychological test. The only marking on the paper was a large circle. Instructions received were for others and I, taking the test, to draw whatever objects we liked on the paper. I drew various shapes in and outside of the circle. Many of the others only drew their objects inside the circle. They were asked later, why they had placed this self-imposed restriction since it was never mentioned in the instructions.

I always consider that exercise when I read comments. Many seem to call a story rubbish or unbelievable because they seem to fall into the category of those that put restrictions on their thoughts.

Could this be the same reason that those selfsame people hardly ever write stories? Food for thought, perhaps.

Ohio, you have kept the interest going, and I look forward to the last chapter.

Regards

Most authors say they want feed back from the readers to help them improve as writers. Some of those comments are going to be fair and some aren't. Some useful some not. Especially in this category. To those complaining to the readers about the comments they make don't you think he needs to know what his readers really think? Or do you think the comments should be limited to authors only? I'm not an author and have no desire to be,(if you knew how may times I've hit my spell checker writing this you'd know why:) But as long as the author ask for comments and I feel I have a point I'd like to make I'm going to make it without worrying whose feathers get ruffled. Seems to me you think we should only make comments you like.

sorry firefox and Blue88.... I dont agree.

First we do agree about anonymous posters that say "kill the bitch" etc etc... those posts are not of any value.

Even those that think me unfair or too harsh Please grant me that I dont HIDE behind that shield.

BUT if you are going to write a story with a set premise it is NOT unreasonable to ask WHY certain things WHY certain things were said or Not said... actions were or were not taken .

a few months ago after reading HILDY I engaged in email conversation with TROUBADOR... he told me what he was trying to do... showing wife that had come mentally

unhinged because of stress and her rage over what she THOUGHT had happened. He told me that the VERY strong reaction he had not antipcated.

I asked him did he have ANY ideas about WHY the readers had reacted that way.? He said NO. I said what about the hubby? Troubador said (and I am paraphrasing here...) "I dont get your point....what abut the husband? "

Recall in that story the hubby was tied up and ALMOST DIES while his wife Tortures him and has LOTS of sex with other men.

yet to the the author his storyline that has the Hubby's quick acceptance of his wife's actions and supposed Love... seems TOTALLY reasonable. To everyone else it was bizizare super wimp and unfamthomable.

You see the author NEVER saw what was wrong.

In GARY APB fabulous story TGI CHORNICLES I talked to the author ... again thru Email. The feedback turned strongly negative in chapters 7-8-9 when the author introduced BETH a therapist of some kind who have a VERY slanted pro wife view and seemed to hate all Men. Gary told me that in his the BETH character as a minor one and that he thought far too many readers were reading something else into the story.

So I told him that since you the author made BETH so extremely one sided it was NOT unreasonable for readers to think you like wimpy husbands and have a double standard for cheating wives.

again in did NOT occur to GaryAPB the author that the readers saw Far more significance to the BETH character than what He intended.

HERE is the BOTTOM line... If most of the readers are saying to the author in the feedback .... This makes NO sense.... or this seems forced.... or how come he never asked WHY.... she never apologizies.... The Author should NOT get angry.

if readers seem to note that almost every story has reconcilation when the Hubby comes back even though the wife cheated 4 8 or 20 times (see house of cards).... it is NOT unreasonable to note this bias.

My comment is. Where the fuck is chapter three? Generally if Literotica has a chapter to post in a series, they post it unless it has been withdrawn. Ohio must be changing it somewhat or it would have been posted today.

If you'll notice Lit only posted half as many stories as they usually do. for some unknown reason they didn't get all of the stories posted that they received on whatever day they they got these. That seems to happen once a week or so. You'll also notice the second chapter of S-Des's story Fool's Envy that he said he sent in on consecutive days didn't get posted.

I am waiting for 3 to comment on your story. But I have do have a few comments in general. I am not sure why it is considered so unbelievable that someone would try to stay in a long marriage after their spouse had one affair. My 4 closest friends all cheated. The two that are divorce decided to stay with the girlfriend instead of the wife. All of us are different and it is not uncommon to try to stay in the marriage (which may be a good or bad). My other comment is to the person that said “How dare she” and complained about calling Chris, coffee and so on. I know what he meant, but my bigger problem is that she fucked him. Coffee good – Fuck bad. Love the story and the comments.

sorry - not logged in.

Energystar

About authors and their view of their story.

I to have conversed with Troubador often about this very point. His view is that the author is always right about his story. But it doesn't take a lot of thought to realise that is an incorrect view.

The author will always know what he meant the story to mean or how he meant a certain character to appear to the reader. He has not succeeded in his mission unless the reader interprets his words in much the same sense as he attempted to write them.

If a minority of readers 'get it wrong', then it's not really a problem. I believe if around 20% or more of readers see something substantially different from the author and the 'majority' view, the the writing was too ambiguous and was not truly successful.

When I read a story, it really doesn't worry me how the author weaves his plot as long as his propositions are reasonable or at least plausible.

The great Walt Disney often used the term 'the plausible impossible' to describe much of the cartoon action we are happy enough to accept and laugh about - like the character who runs off the edge of a cliff and either doesn't fall until he realises there is no ground under his feet or manages to run back several paces onto solid ground without dropping. We manage to accept this as 'normal' in the context the author has created. We accept that Superman can fly, in the context of a Superman book or movie, but we know it's impossible in real life (Well, I think I realised I would never manage the flying bit when I was about 12!)

The point is, an author can construct a scenario or 'reality' of almost anything with good writing. Reasonably explained and well written, we will accept most possibilities in a story.

BUT, it is the author's job to create the proper environment for his characters to act in the manner in which he desires. If too many readers need to question the author's interpretation of a story, the author failed!

Characters don't have to act a way the reader would act in a similar situation, but they MUST act in a way the reader sees as reasonable or plausible in the story situation, given the conditions the author has created.

Okay, so we're not after Pulitzer Prize standard on a free erotic story site, but surely we can at least expect a minimum degree of coherence in the language and plots of the stories?

I believe many of the mangled stories we see come from those who use no editor, or those who use a sychopant for an editor. No writer will ever improve if all his editor does is agree with every word written and stroke the author's ego.

I know many of the better stories on this site have resulted from vehement arguments between editors and authors. (vehement, not violent!) If the editor makes the author justify characters' actions and plot lines as the story is in production, the story becomes much stronger and many of the arguments we see in comments do not eventuate.

You will see huge numbers of high scoring stories without controversy.

Another massive blunder authors make is this ridiculous idea of posting a story in parts. There will always be people ready to draw incorrect conclusions from insufficient information when only part of a story is posted.

Maybe some authors get off on the controversy? I suppose, to each his own.

As a general rule the whole story should be posted in one go. I for one, am past the Saturday afternoon cowboy serials of the early/mid fifties.

...not about the content, which I'll leave others to hash out, but about the technique. It may be just me, but I tend not to be wild about stories that are written with multiple POVs, each given its own segment. About the best that can be said about this format is that it's better than wildly shifting POVs happening at random. For me the effect is that of one of those talking heads documentaries where each subject's name and title flashes on the screen each time the camera cuts to them. Otherwise, the writing is good and I look forward to the conclusion. Just my .02, Best, Ken

Isn't it amazing Author - the comments I mean - up /down sideways and arguing amongst each other. In many ways it shows thay care for you and your story. Unquestionably your talents are strong.

So, lets go back and examine some premises that apply here.

If an author or writer predisposes reader attitude to their intended plot path successfully then changes tact or direction without selling it adequetely attitudes are mixed to the point that it can become bigger than the story. Not good when the readers focus is outside your apparent plot path is it.

It needs to be said again that when the author developed offense is grievious, reconciliation is a tough sell. So, if reconciliation is the target why do some authors and many writers make the wall so high???

Case in point. 23 years - children - sound frequent sexlife - no prior signs of marital cheating on either side nor meaningful implications of interest ='s baseline clearly estabolished. These are good talkative people.

She reaches out after a month of pineing - solicits younger man to have in ways denied to her husband "in their marital bed" all afternoon (4 times) and wants more - seeks more - needs more. There is no guilt - just unabashed need for more. You see her selfish total disrespect of their long loving family commitment and him clearly as the author intended. Her path is clear - more at any cost. This is grievious in anybody's book (except hubbies???).

She didn't plan to confess or feel remorse in any way as told to her sister - best ever - better than done in heaven?

There is no problem with plot path until the husband starts leaning towards justifing her actions for reasons not equivalent in many eyes but there are no final conclusions yet.

It's the inappropriate leaning without sold cause in a grievious infidelity that has readers outside the authors plot path.

Respect and credibility are an author's currancy. Lessor writers have little reader expectation. Fair? I think so as it is discernable - evident as to what level they strive for.

Author - we care as you can see. We also know there isn't perfection nor do we expect it. If your own plot path quacks to us - we want a duck - it's credible. We want to more highly respect your work or most of us wouldn't spend the time writing comments.

Now in fairness to the author - by his prior work, he is not predisposed to reconciliation.

Author - you are appreciated - With High regard

I agree completely with Kanga including the role of the editor. Those struggles always make the story more solid. I especially agree about who is right. If you have an editor who never challenges you, find one.

The readership is always right. All I know is what I intended to write. Only the readers can tell me if I accomplished that. Knowing what I intended to do gives me a built-in bias that makes it impossible for me to be sure it worked.

A word about Harry in WVA, who made some good points in his comment here. I’ve seen him ripped for comments that seem mean spirited. After reading many of his comments, I think it’s just passion that he has expressed in a way that makes it easy to misinterpret. He recently emailed me comments on a story and comment I made on it in which he challenged some of my reasoning as bullshit, which I interpreted to mean he thought I was wrong on some of my character motivation. Given the lower scores on that story, he probably represented a view of a significant minority of readers. That probably means that I, the author, was wrong in the context Kanga was talking about. Whether my reasoning would have been accepted or not, I still could have done a better job in getting that across.

Sometimes the readers just miss it. I asked one why I got such a low score (2 of 10) from him on a story and he said it was pointlessly violent and depressing. I wrote back that it was what I intended, to suggest that people should stop to consider the consequences of their actions. He wrote back oops, missed it.

My main point is that if we don’t get critical comments on where our reasoning, characterization or plot may be flawed, it will be difficult for us to find our weaknesses and work to correct them.

still no Ch3, when the others have come thru.

Looks like it was recalled by ohio.

It would be a real shame if ohio pulled the chapter to change it.

I'd like to see what he originally intended to do with the story.

Oh well....

Could it be that Ohio is playing with us? Could it be that the anticipation of the hunt for the story will give him/her the orgasmic bliss described by this loving wife and faithful companion in the story?

Looks like the three consecutive day posts disclaimer in the first chapter joined the ranks of bullshit , the same as the husband's attitude in the story after he was told of his wife's infidelity.

Perhaps a new perspective of old Zekonious Fartblower Turdwhacker (he lives down the street from the couple and occasionally hauls their trash) or (Elroy P. Fuckstick who sacks groceries at the Kroger store).

Will this tale that has generated so much interest be one of the stories that is in my {to complete} file after my burned flesh and bones are but scattered ashes in my cat's litterbox? (my wife's planned final resting place for my remains if I leave a basement full of my treasures for her to have hauled off after my demise.)

Stay Tuned

Contrary to some comments, the issue of comments incongruence is not as inevitably wide spread or chronic as those who convey these opinions would like us to think. First, among professional critics, it was found that there is a high degree of agreement in their independent evaluation of variety of art works. The reasons? Art is most and foremost a form of communication, which is based of norms of culture – both inside and outside the specific art. No wonder there is a high level of agreement. If you tap into common cultural experience; use rich language; use wisdom and wit ‘show your knowledge, say in literary forms – critics will cheer you. Unlike robert12’s suggestion, a story is not like a psychological projective tests –which are designed to be ambiguous, in fact - ‘message – less’. Woe on us if that is the closest parallel that is found now to current stories…

As far as opposing views in the comments, there is and always have been ample debates on literature. THIS IS A GOOD THING! Most cultured societies take pride in a tradition of productive even vigorous debates. The notion that you should cheer or shut up, or its strange kin ‘Write before you criticize’ are obviously misguided. As I mentioned in the past, when we go to publicly watch football, are we ‘allowed’ to BOO or only to cheer? Or better yet, are we supposed to be at least amateur [layers before we open our mouths?

For us, as ‘amateur critics’ there is plenty opportunity to have productive debates (while saluting to the author). If for example, I claim that (A) People do not break their marriages ‘out of the blue’ but there are reasons even if they are not immediately present, and (B) Not showing character’s motivation takes the story’s credibility’s down – then there are ways to debate that, or for that matter, anything else which is formed as a concrete statement. It is very possible that no one has the interest/energy/patience to engage in any such debate, but please have enough humility not to dismiss fellow readers ‘wholesale’.

1) I posted part three the day after part two--I have NO IDEA why it did not appear yesterday (5/31/06). As of right now (6/1/06, 10am EDT) part 3 does not yet appear under New Stories, but it does appear under the list of stories for ohio--so readers can find it there.

Readers should know that I did NOT play games, withhold or change the story. I posted the three parts on consecutive days as promised.

2) I agree very much with kanga40's comment below:

" The author will always know what he meant the story to mean or how he meant a certain character to appear to the reader. He has not succeeded in his mission unless the reader interprets his words in much the same sense as he attempted to write them."

To me this is quite right. Sometimes an author thinks something about his characters, but many/most readers see it differently. In that case, the author has not succeeded.

3) I wish that people who challenge the premises of a story, or its characters, would at least read carefully! An example: The commenter below (anonymous) who signs himself "Author - you are appreciated - with high regard" claims about Ellen that "There is no guilt - just unabashed need for more."

This is simply not true! Look at the following:

In part 1, after going to bed with Chris, Ellen says:

"Second, I was guilty and frightened. I’d cheated on Dan, in our marital bed, without giving him much of a thought for the last couple of hours. What kind of whore was I? Was that all he deserved from me, after years of being a loving and faithful husband? Would he catch me? If he did, would it be the end of our marriage?"

Later on in part 1 is this passage (again from Ellen):

"The next morning was really when my nightmare began. I woke early. For a brief moment my tired, happy body reminded me of the utter bliss I’d had the day before with Chris; but that was followed almost instantly by a wave of guilt that tied my stomach in knots. How could I have betrayed Dan that way? Cheated on him in our own bed, without an instant of regret?

I slipped downstairs to make coffee. I was frantic to try and pull myself together before Dan awoke and I had to face him. I was sure he’d take one look at me and know what I’d been doing.

Bustling around the kitchen, making Dan an extra-nice breakfast of pancakes and bacon, I grappled with my tangled thoughts. Two ideas kept pushing all others aside, no matter how hard I tried to keep them in line. The first was that I had done something awful, disgraceful, shameful. I had behaved in a selfish and dishonest way, I’d done something that would hurt Dan beyond measure if he ever learned of it. I was filled with remorse.

The second was that I absolutely, positively, without any doubt would do it again. The pleasure and excitement of my afternoon with Chris were like a drug. My whole body tingled, my skin felt like it was radiating light, I wanted to dance around the kitchen and shout for joy. I’d never experienced anything like it, and I couldn’t possibly imagine never having it again. It was unthinkable.

So that’s how I was when Dan came down and joined me—beside myself with guilt and anguish, and at the same time so full of joy I was like a kid on Christmas morning."

I have no right to object when readers tell me I've failed to convey something I thought I conveyed. On the other hand, when readers express views that are simply contrary to what's clearly stated in the story, then I feel the need to complain about that.

Thanks to everyone who comments on my work--your attention is deeply appreciated.

ohio

Your mistake is that you pointed to the evidence that proves your point. You have been in the character's head and know how she feels. But, even though the words are there, you may not have conveyed your truth of the situation adequately.

"The first was that I had done something awful, disgraceful, shameful. I had behaved in a selfish and dishonest way, I’d done something that would hurt Dan beyond measure if he ever learned of it. I was filled with remorse."

Perhaps there is insufficient emotional content in the way she is expressing this to believe she is really filled with remorse. This is followed by:

"The second was that I absolutely, positively, without any doubt would do it again. The pleasure and excitement of my afternoon with Chris were like a drug. My whole body tingled, my skin felt like it was radiating light, I wanted to dance around the kitchen and shout for joy. I’d never experienced anything like it, and I couldn’t possibly imagine never having it again. It was unthinkable."

That's full of emotion. When we read these we evaluate what it means. The second paragraph is absolutely believable. If I had to bet my life on which she would prioritize, keeping him from being hurt or experiencing it again, I'd bet she'll do it again. The paragraph is full of life, it is clearly what she feels, wants, believes she needs. The first is an intellectual description of how others will view what she's done and how, objectively, she views it. But the lack of emotional content shows me and other readers that it is not important enough for her to act upon.

Take her decision to tell him. She says it never would have happened without the question. All she's expressing is guilt, not remorse. Remorse would be she's done something unthinkable and would never do it again. Guilt is it sucks for him but hell yes I'd do it in a heartbeat. So what does she get out of telling him? She told him it wasn't fantastic, but in a way that he clearly knows she would prefer to be dancing in the kitchen while she talks about it. What is the likely outcome? Probably that he will divorce her. Then she can lament, say woe is me, I'm so sorry, and hey, Chris, can you block out some regular time for me?

We (readers) read you because your writing flows and you are able to express emotion. So when we see it missing, we tend to assume it's missing for a reason, not that you have screwed up. We assume that all the clues, like the way she conveyed it was much better than she admitted, are there for a reason. We already know that a character's words and even their interpretive thoughts (like her thinking he must be able to see her guilt because she feels it) may be viewed with suspicion considering all the surrounding circumstances. Even a statement to him by her that seems filled with emotion, could be a ploy to position herself to repeat the behavior without getting caught.

The better you write, the more we assume everything is there for a reason. That's why it should take time to complete a story, run it by your editor(s) and ask whether you've accomplished what you intended. Despite what she says and thinks, there is ample evidence here to disbelieve her. When someone makes a comment that she has shown no remorse, they are telling you how they feel about what has been conveyed to them. Unless they missed something in the story, it is the way you wrote it that makes them feel that way. If it seems to you they are wrong, you should review the story. When you read it before posting, you were burdened with the bias of knowing what you meant to do and that makes it very difficult to recognize what you've actually done. But when the readers tell you they found something you didn't intend, you may be able to reread the story and find what they are talking about since your original bias has changed. Or you may ultimately conclude they are clueless. The only caveat is that once the minority reaches a certain size, Kanga suggested 20%, it is no longer reasonable to dismiss it as they just didn't get it. It doesn't take anywhere near 20% before I'm back in the story trying to figure out why readers are saying those things about my story. For what it's worth.

Amongst your eloquent ramblings lies a point that has relevance to this long list of comments. The point I wish to make is this. On the one hand, there is the writer who is misunderstood because of his presentation or, as some suggest, his poor choice of editor. While on the other hand people, like me blame the reader for failing to read the written word correctly.

Within your comment, you mentioned my comment concerning a test. The test whether you agree with its validity is unimportant; however, your remarks seem to suggest that I got that part of my message across to you. Great, then I sighed, for you then equated the test to stories when my remarks IMHO were discussing people who imposed a restriction where none was implied.

Is your misinterpretation due to my bad wording or your reading of it? Well, personally, I think you need to read it again or, perhaps, drop me a line. The argument no doubt will rumble on

Does it cost any more to make a civil constructive comment than to make a caustic negative one? I think not.

My best regards to Ohio, I’m off the read chapter 3.

Give your characters some balls. Their mickey mouse behavior is disgusting

Ohio:

So far you've presented the unsolvable problems; His fears and her horniess! He loves her but knows she'd fuck off on him in a New York Minute. She vows it's over and know's she'd fuck him over in a New York Minute. Chj. 3 ought to be interesting. Thank You. Ronnie W.

What a Pathetic Wimp! Great writing though1

Why wasn't the divorce in progress? Why was Chris still able to walk around? Presumably still with all of his teeth? How much more of a loser could Dan possibly be? Why was he under the same roof as Ellen?

Why is it that if the hubby is going to ultimately forgive and forget, either he too has had an affair or meets some hottie in between? Is that supposed to minimize either his or her guilt? They deserve each other, neither understands faithful behavior!

Since when is thinking about fucking someone and wanting them the same as fucking someone several times? Their is no quid pro quo here. She committed adultry he didnt. Group up folks.

Since when is thinking about fucking someone and wanting them the same as fucking someone several times? Their is no quid pro quo here. She committed adultry he didnt. Group up folks.

He did nothing wrong, so what he had fantasies about another woman, but he didn't act on them! He should even feel guilt about that, his wife is a bitch plain and simple.

or stone her to death

Look life is hard, you get hurt, you get mad, you get even you move on. It was the best sex of her life, so why in the fuck does she want to stay married. So for the rest of Dan's life he has to compete with the fact that Chris fuck her so good. Fuck that, Dan needs to man up and move the fuck on it ain't that hard.

he dips milk into cookies

I don't see how him having a chance of fucking Bridget but not only fantasing about is nowhere near the same as Ellen fucking chris in their house on their bed and it's ridiculous that he would feel even remotely guilty about it.

"I don't know, Diane. Obviously Dan will never take me back if I ever do it again. I already told Dan that there won't be a next time with Chris.

"Believe me, I know that my husband and my marriage are far more important to me than a fling, even a cosmic fling. But that doesn't mean I'm over my lust. It scares me, but I still want Chris again ... a lot."

the slut wants to keep fucking and the cuck is in therapy and crying his guts out. terrific! is the us populated by such eunuchs?

took a good story and made things worse! WTF??????

Wow Dan has turned into a real wimp. What a Fucking asshole. If he can't man up and tell the cunt to drop dead, then he deserves to be a miserable little coward. Fuck Him.

"She'd had the hots for him for weeks, but thank God they'd only gone to bed together once."

the husband is truly pathetic, always crying. why the hell does he have to see the shrink? the slut fucked strange cock.

Look up clusterfuck in your dictionary. If it's in there, you'll find this story.

does chris still have his balls and cock? husband still a cuckie then.

I understand his need to test his wife, but he didn't think it through. And for a guy that's supposed to be well adjusted and have his shit together, crashing into the house, searching the bedrooms like a madman and crying uncontrollably makes him appear to be a totally out-of-control, paranoid, pathetic excuse for a man. He is obviously not going to be able to forget his wife's infidelity nor will he ever regain his trust in her. This marriage is dead, just hasn't had the Last Rites performed yet.

This story a really a well written story.

The trouble for me is that the male character has as many flaws as he does.

Sometimes being faithful and pure is what it is all about; it's called values.

Labels are important too. A woman who does not have any values, is faithless and impure, is what? You decide.